I solidify the plan, trying to make it sound as persuasive as it can ever be – without going overboard and sounding like a sales clerk. Lu Han is waving his eyebrows in amusement as I recite my business proposal to my full length mirror, trying to win it over like my life depended on it. I don’t always feel so apprehensive about trying to get people to do things, but it felt like I needed to do this. I needed to get Krystal to be with Taemin, for both their sakes. I honestly think they’d make a pretty appealing couple and I want to them to be together. Just as much as I want you and me to be together.

“… Se Hun-hyung is the master of obliviousness, and from what I already know after two years of living in a dorm with him, he’s actually really dense, so if you want something to get through to his pretty little head, you have to erect a neon sign in front of his bedroom door. But since we can’t do that, this seems like a better idea, don’t you think?”

I look over at Lu Han through the mirror, and he’s pressing his lips together as he tries to hold in a giggle. I don’t blame him. I look like an idiot.

“That’s actually pretty good,” Lu Han tells me. My spirits are unexpectedly livened up.

“Really?”

“No,” he says, and I deflate.

“You’re not really that helpful, you know.” I use the pads of my thumb and index finger to massage my temples. I sit down next to him on my bed and he places a hand on the bridge between my shoulder and my neck, squeezing it affectionately.

“I was kidding,” he teeters. “That was really good, except for the fact that you talk too much when you’re nervous. Don’t do that.”

“Do I really?”

“Yes.” A dimple appears on the left side of Lu Han’s lips as he smirks at me.

I shake my head out of it, sitting up. “Okay, how do I look?” I turn to Lu Han, gripping on the fastenings of my cardigan. I’m wearing a yellow cardigan atop a blue and white striped shirt and denim jeans.

“You look fine,” Lu Han says without giving me a once-over.

“Are you sure?” I look down at the palette of colors that are on me. Oh God. I’m starting to sound like Taemin with his obsession over the he wears. Key-hyung brought this upon Taemin, and now he passed it onto me. You mentioned once that you don’t like it when guys fixate too much over their attire, and I try hard to shy away from that. I really do.

“Why does it matter?” Lu Han leans back on the palms of his hands and stares at my outfit. “You’re just going to see Krystal. Since when did dressing up become so important when you’re going out to see your ex?”

I look at him as if he just asked me what air was.

“Haven’t you ever had to do a meet-up with an ex before?” I ask him. “It’s like a universal law unsaid that you should look like the best damn thing.”

Lu Han narrows his eyes. “That rule only applies if you’re not over your ex, but you are. So I can’t see what the big deal is.”

“Okay, well I can’t just go see her while looking like I just rolled out of bed. With persuasion must come charisma, and I can’t be charismatic without dressing the part.”

I watch Lu Han cringe slightly, one eye nearly closed. “And since when did you become the master of persuasion?”

“Since today,” I push myself off of the bed and give him a face-splitting grin. “Today, I’m going to win over Krystal, and tomorrow I’ll win over Hye Rin.”

Lu Han unexpectedly stands up and heads out of the room. I watch in disbelief.

“Where are you going?”

He looks over his shoulder noncommittally. “I’m gonna go look for my Buddhist prayer beads. It looks like you’re going to need a lot of guidance for this one.”

I only end up scowling at him.

***

She was just a friend. Somewhat like how you and I are, except she felt more like an acquaintance compared to you. And there are still certain bits and pieces I’m trying to figure out because they confuse me just as much as it does to you, but all I know is that it all started out as a tiny, insignificant friendship.

 As trainees, Krystal and I usually practiced together because of our age group. But after one or two years of being in the same dance classes together, SM Entertainment began to burgeon new plans for a fresh, new girl group and that’s when I began to see less and less of her.

I don’t know how she came to like me, or what gave her the right mind to do so, because I didn’t look as good back then as I do now. I was a gawky, awkward looking kid and I couldn’t imagine any girl falling for me. I guess it’s because of what I had to offer besides my looks.

As the f(x) girls’ debut date was coming close, I started texting Krystal a lot. It all happened so randomly and quite out of the blue. I had her number on my phone, but never once did I ever use it, until you had urged me to talk to her just because you thought I was lonely. I didn’t really understand what you meant by that because – honestly – I was fine. I already had you as a best friend; what else could I be missing out on? Nonetheless, I followed your instructions.

Two months later, I was straddled with a girlfriend. A pretty hot one, to be honest, but she wasn’t as amazing as you were.  Krystal was smart, but she wasn’t a genius like you are. She’s beautiful, but frankly, I can’t seem to find my heart palpitating the way it does when you smile. It’s different when I’m with her. I can’t feel complete, like how I feel when I’m with you.

And then we dated for just a few weeks. The first week, Taemin teased me about it. He was really shocked to find out that a girl like Krystal would want to go out with me. He joked here and there about how she probably was just on a dare, but after the first week, his teases and jokes died out – just like the “fire” (if there were any to begin with) in Krystal and my relationship.

I really liked her. I didn’t want to be unfair and just go out with her because I felt like it was appropriate (when we started texting daily, everyone else in the company began to make suspicions about how close we were). That being said, I tried hard to share the same feelings that she felt. She liked me. The least I could do was like her back, right?

But she became so busy and preoccupied with her group’s promotions and I just felt too overwhelmed with the preparations that SM had going for us guys in EXO. By the third week, Krystal and I had finally come to the terms that maybe what we had was probably just a dream.

In the end, we broke up on mutual terms. She was kind of sad that we had to end it without actually feeling that one ounce of “romance”, but I was relieved. I was single again and I didn’t have to worry about having a girlfriend. All I wanted to care about was spending more time with you.

***

I sit on the farthest table from the door of the small noodle shop. You and I liked eating here from time to time, and I’m really sorry if my inviting Krystal over to our secret place violates our sacred friendship. But you treat Taemin the same way you treated me, so I believe that we’re all playing a fair game now.

I tap on the table subconsciously with the end of my cellphone. There’s another young couple sitting two tables away from where I sit at, and I shamelessly stare at them share a large bowl of salted ramyeon.

Sometimes, when I’m quiet and my expression looks distant, I think of you and me. I watch as the boy at the other table picks up some noodles from his own bowl and feeds it to his girlfriend. As a guy, it’s a disgusting sight to endure. But whenever I end up seeing painstakingly cheesy moments like that, I imagine moments of you and me. I imagine us walking hand in hand down Shinsadong, stopping to go inside a trendy bakery. I’d buy you a box of cupcakes and hand feed them to you, maybe swiping a dollop of icing on your little nose when I feel like it. Sometimes I think I’ve caught onto the gushingly lovestricken sweetness that has stripped Jonghyun-hyung’s manliness to that of a peanut.

“Jongin-oppa!”

I look up to see Krystal racing through the entrance of the noodle shop to reach my table. I smile at her. It’s actually been awhile since I last saw her and I admit that she still looks very pretty.

“Soojung, hi,” I reply meekly. She takes the empty seat across me and the ahjumma who runs the place walks over to us and hands us our menus while simultaneously asking us what we wanted to drink. We both ask for water and she leaves to prepare it for us. Krystal opens her menu, but isn’t too interested with what she wanted to order. She looks at me from behind the menu.

“You look good, oppa,” she mentions coyly, and I can’t help but feel my cheeks blush effervescently. I don’t even remember when Krystal became so open and confident about her comments on other people. I guess the stardom and all of that fame changes people. I hope that – when I do become famous – I don’t change in a bad way. I hope I can still be the same Kim Jongin that you have known for the past 3 years.

“You, too,” I reply back shyly. She laughs out loud, her eyes crinkling and I can see that even after all this time, she still laughs the same way she did when we were both just trainees. She’s not as beautiful as you when she laughs, but she’s not too much of an eyesore at all, either.

The ahjumma comes back with a plastic liter bottle of water and two small cups. She sets it down on the table and then pulls out the small notepad from the front pocket of her apron. She asks both of us what we would like to order, and Krystal looks towards me to decide.

“Oh.” I clear my throat. “We’ll get the neoguri.”

I know you like to order this whenever we come here on our own. I feel like I can’t eat here without ordering neoguri. As strange as it may seem, ordering neoguri makes me feel as if you’re here with me. So I take it, because I know you like it, and I like it because it reminds me of you. The ahjumma nods her head in agreement. I look over at Krystal, wondering if she wants anything else. She’s looking down at the sweets and confectionaries section of the menu.

“Oppa,” she reaches over the table to tap her fingers on my arm to try and garner my attention. “Let’s try their tiramisu.”

I want to smile. Krystal hasn’t even changed at all since I last talked to her. She’s still the bubbly girl with an insatiable sweet tooth. I look over at the ahjumma taking our orders and nod my head. Yeah, we’ll go ahead and get the tiramisu, too. She finalizes our orders and then slinks back to the kitchen with our menus in tow.

“I’m not lying when I said you looked really good,” Krystal says, pouring water into her cup. She takes a drink and delicately places the cup back on the table. My eyes follow her hands, and that is where I see a silver band wrapped around her right ring finger.

“Oh, a couple ring?” I point down at the ring on her finger. I feel a little bit discouraged, thinking that if she’s already in a relationship then my plan would be ruined. And I can never have you.

Instinctively, Krystal retracts her hand from the top of the table and places it on her lap. She looks down at it, a small smile still playing with her lips.

“It’s just a joke,” she says, looking back up at me. I give her a confused look and then she explains, “Se Hun-oppa gave this to me as a joke.”

“Se Hun-hyung?”

She nods. “We talk a lot nowadays and one time I told him that I don’t wear rings unless it’s part of my stage costume or for a photoshoot – ” I watch as the small smile on Krystal’s lips widen into a bigger grin – “so today he came by to our practice room and gave me this ring.” She brings her hand back onto the table and wiggles her ring finger. “He told me to always wear it and to never remove it.”

“Why?” I ask her without hesitation.

“I have no idea,” Krystal replies comically. “He’s so mysterious.”

I know she’s right. Se Hun’s not exactly a talkative guy, so it does take a little while longer to figure him out.

“So,” I let out a shallow breath, “You like him, right?”

A dark shade of red encompasses Krystal’s otherwise pale cheeks as she averts her gaze towards elsewhere around the restaurant. I think she’s not going to answer me, but she then looks back at me. A bashful smile is plastered on her face.

“Did I seem too obvious?” She asks me quietly.

“Obvious? No, of course you weren’t.”

She sighs in relief. “Oh. D-did someone else tell you?”

I want to tell her that Taemin did, but I know it wouldn’t look too good on his part. So instead, I just say, “No one did. But I could see it in the way you talk about him.” I give her a sly smile. “It’s like the same way you talk to your friends about me when we were together.”

Krystal rolls her eyes, but I know she’s doing this good-naturedly so I chuckle.

“Oppa, it’s not like that. I don’t like him.”

“Right. You love him.”

“Oppa,” she grumbles and I laugh at her.

“It’s alright. I think he’s a very good looking guy and I’m honestly not surprised that you like him. You two would look good together.”

Her eyes light up, but I think she remains dubious. “Don’t say that.”

“It’s true,” I tell her and I’m not lying. Even though Krystal and I dated once in our lifetime, I personally think that Se Hun would be a better arm candy for her. One of the reasons why I felt so relieved when we ended our relationship was because I didn’t feel like I could catch up to her. She was incredibly pretty and I was incredibly not. At least, back then, I wasn’t.

Krystal remains quiet as the ahjumma returns with small dishes of our kimchi, sautéed bean sprouts, and peppered cucumbers. She picks up some of the bean sprouts and takes a bite. After the ahjumma leaves, assuring us that our ramyeon was on its way, Krystal looks back at me shyly.

“Just please don’t tell anyone,” she says. “Especially not him. I know you’re his roommate and all, but you were my boyfriend once. I think your confidentiality should be entitled to me more.”

“Your secret is safe with me.” I shrug. “But I think I have a way to help you.”

“What are you talking about?”

“I… uh… I have a plan,” I spoke with uncertainty. I have to get myself together if I want Krystal to be convinced that this is a solid plan. “If you cooperate, Se Hun-hyung might fall for you.”

I know Krystal is like you sometimes; you’re hard to convince. But I can see a glimmer of interest in her eyes, and I believe that to be hope.

“What is it?” She asks me.

“Well, it requires you. And Taemin.”

I look over at her, feeling a bit apprehensive. She doesn’t say anything. I continue, “I don’t know if you’re aware of this, but sometimes guys like Se Hun need a little push.”

“I don’t know where you’re going with this,” Krystal replies as the ahjumma returns with our ramyeon, placing the large bowl and two smaller porcelain ones in between us. When she leaves, Krystal resumes. “And I really don’t know how Taemin is supposed to be involved with this.”

I feel nervous because Krystal sounds a little guarded, but I heave out a deep breath and face her with enough dignity to sound and look as charismatic as I should feel.

“Here’s the thing, Se Hun’s definitely not going to budge if you’re not going to do anything. And as a guy, I think it’s unfair for girls to be the first to confess – ” I quickly remember that text you sent Taemin, and how my heart wrenches every time. It’s unfair, totally unfair, that you stoop to such a disgustingly low level by being the first to confess. I love you, but that only makes you look so cheap. “ – so we should make Se Hun see what he’s missing out on. If you ‘go out’ with Taemin, then maybe, just maybe, Se Hun will realize that you’re totally dateable. All you have to do is act like a couple with Taemin. It works in those movies.”

Krystal furrows her eyebrows and folds her arms over her chest. “Mylife isn’t a movie, Jongin. And I don’t want to do that to Taemin. That’s using him.”

“I-it’s not! It’ll be sort of like a win-win situation. You see,” and this is where I take another deep breath, because I’m dropping a big secret on her, “Taemin likes you. He really does. And he was supposed to ask you out, but something stopped him. So if you were to go out with him – maybe for just a little while – then he’ll be satisfied, Se Hun will be aware, and you’ll be satisfied, eventually.”

I watch as Krystal’s eyes divert to the large bowl of ramyeon in front of us. She’s not looking at the contents, because her eyes are out of focus and I know she’s processing this all in her head.

“How do you know it’s going to work?” She asks quietly after awhile. The ramyeon is getting cold so I take her porcelain bowl and scoop some of the noodles into it and place it in front of her.

I sigh, ready to repeat the same speech I’ve been practicing in front of the mirror earlier. “Se Hun-hyung is the master of obliviousness, and I’ve lived in a dorm with him for two years now so I know for a fact that he’s actually really dense. If you want something to get through to his pretty little head, you have to put up a ginormous sign in front of his bedroom door. And since we can’t do that, this seems like a better idea. Right?”

Ok. It wasn’t exactly word for word, but I got the general idea down pat. My knees began to bob up and down nervously. I watched as Krystal contorted her face to try to figure everything out for herself.

“And what if it doesn’t work out?”

I swallow thickly. That question has occurred to me many times before I came to this noodle shop. On my way over here, I’ve been asking that myself, trying to really understand it, see if this plan that I stirred up will really offer a great result, or implode in the cauldron it’s concocted in.

“It will,” I say with faux confidence. “Sure, it will.”

I hope I’m right. God, I really hope I’m right.

Author's Notes: I fell in love with Lu Han. I swear, I did. I was watching the second set of W Live Photoshoot clips and even though he doesn't say a lot, Lu Han's presence is just so adorable. AND UGH KAI. He's really more comfortable around those SNSD girls, no? IDK. I think my theories of him being shy and awkward are incorrect after all? By the way, have y'all seen his super adorbs doggy, Mongo (sp?) ? Both the dog and owner are really cute haha. 

Oh! And I re-wrote the Foreword, so it's sort of a prologue now. If you haven't read it, then you should! It kinda is important.. or not. But yeah, the Foreword is re-written because I felt like I needed to entice readers more. :)