You have this twinkle in your eye that gleams and draws me in. I don’t know if it’s just me, but I think that that’s one of your best features. The way you smile and light up when things are going well, that’s what I think makes you beautiful. That, and probably a million other things.

“How was practice?” You ask me, as I step out of the practice studio. I’m drenched in sweat, and you hand me a face towel. I smiled appreciatively.

“It was fine,” I say, taking the towel from you.

“Are you excited? Your debut date is coming close,” you take the towel from me without hesitance, and dab away in the corners of my neck and face that I’m too tired to wipe for myself.

“Yeah. I’m nervous,” I reply. I admit, I’m not the one who speaks too much, but I hope you don’t mind. It’s just that I’m not very conversational and it doesn’t help that you – you who smells like sweet pineapples and bergamot – stand so close to me. It’s not just my upcoming debut that makes me nervous.

You smile at me, continuing to wipe my sweat for me.

“We’ll meet you at the dorm later,” Lu Han tells me as he and Se Hun pass by me. I nod at them and watch them greet you, and you smile at them, too.

“Would you want to join us, Hye Rin?” Se Hun asks you. “We’re going out to eat.”

I want to scowl and pull you away. We’re having a moment, and I don’t want these guys to take you away from me. Does that make me possessive? I’m sorry if it does.

Luckily, you shake your head at the two, offering an apologetic smile. “No, it’s okay. I already ate.”

I know you’re lying. I can tell you’re lying because you’re gripping the towel and you tend to always clench your first suddenly when you’re telling a lie. I know you always lie about eating. You only do that just so you can get away from eating, because you’re trying to starve yourself to become skinnier. Please don’t do that. You’re beautiful.

The other two nod and then walk away, leaving you and me alone outside the practice studio. I want to ask you why you lie so much about eating, but I already know why.

It’s because of him, isn’t it? It’s because he mentioned once that he doesn’t like girls who are fat, and that put you in a position that you shouldn’t be in. He wasn’t referring to you, he was referring to those fans of his. Don’t mind him, he says things without thinking twice first. You’re not fat.

I stare at you, and you ask me why I keep staring at you. Must I really explain myself?

Right as I’m about to tell you why, they walk in. They – they who have gone all over the world performing and being just as beautiful – have come to practice in the studio as well. It’s just the three of them right now; the other two have a radio program to DJ. The two eldest walk by us, giving us polite smiles and greetings. But the youngest tails behind them, and as his two hyungs enter the practice studio, he stops by to talk to us.

He places a hand on your shoulder and you hand the towel back to me. You look up at him – him who is taller than you – and smile. You smile at him and I wish. I wish you didn’t smile like that to him.

“Taemin-ah!” The twinkle in your eye glitters and I wish he wasn’t so drawn in.

“Hye Rin, what are you doing here?” He asks you, and I think that that’s a stupid question. You’ve come to see him, as you have every Wednesday and Thursday afternoon right before you go on your way to the tutoring center a building away from here. How could he have not known?

“I came to see Jongin-oppa,” you tell him. My heart skips a beat, but I think you’re lying about that, too – except, I don’t see you clench your fist like how you always do when you tell a lie. “I was hoping that we’d go out and do something.”

I’m confused. “I thought you have to go to your tutor today?”

You shake her head. “This is my one and only day I have tutoring cancelled.”

 “Wow, I feel honored.” I can’t help but gush.

Taemin chuckles lightly, and somehow I feel guilty. He’s one of my closest friends here, but I enjoy the fact that you chose me over him.

“Well, have fun,” he brushes it off. “I have to go to practice now.” He gives me a pat on the back and then walks inside the practice studio where his hyungs are waiting for him.

 I admit. I’m shy and awkward, and I may or may not be able to hold a conversation very well. But you make it easier for me. You – you who has the ingenuity and intellect that every girl should envy – could conduct the conversation for the both of us, because you have a lot on your mind and you have a lot to say. I wish I could be like you.

We walk on the pathway along a small brook right in the city. It’s cold outside, so I offer you my thick jacket because your wool cardigan isn’t doing a very good job on taking care of you. You accept it, and I take the initiative to pull it off and open it up so you can fit inside it. It’s a little too big for your frame, but you laugh it off. Have I told you yet that I love the way you laugh?

“Oh, what about you?” You ask me, noticing that underneath my jacket, I only wore a simple cotton turtleneck sweater. You waited for me after practice so that I could change into these clothes.

“I’m fine,” I assure you, but you’re not convinced. You decide to go inside somewhere, maybe have coffee at a nearby coffee shop.

“It’s too cold to walk outside, anyway,” You add, as soon as we find a coffee shop.  We enter and the place is warm and it smelled – of course – of brewing coffee beans and sweet cinnamon sticks. Before I met you, I would never drink coffee. My mother has always told me that I should leave caffeinated drinks in elision because it would contradict with my growth. But at 182 cm, I believe I’m tall enough, so I took a cup of coffee whenever you’d offer one to me.

We sit at table near the window, because you sometimes like to gaze out and watch people walk by. I’m going to miss times like this. I know that once I debut and once my picture appears all over the internet and TV screens, people will begin to notice me and we can’t have peace together in public. I’ll miss our moments together.

“So, how are you?” I ask, watching you pick up your coffee and sipping it slowly. “Are you doing well in school?”

As I’ve mentioned, I don’t really talk a lot. But I’m interested in you, and I want to know how you are at all times. I’m sorry if that makes me sound like your mother. I only care about you.

“Yes,” you nod. “School is going well, my teachers have high hopes that I’m going to graduate top of my class.”

Of course you are. I have yet to find a girl around your age who can surpass your IQ.

“What about you?” You look at me curiously. “Are you planning to take the entrance exams?”

You knew I didn’t take it a few weeks ago, when I was supposed to. You were disappointed in both Taemin and me, but I didn’t mind because I felt like you cared about us, too.

“I don’t know,” I tell you honestly, and I look down at my coffee to avert the disappointed look in your eyes. “I’m too busy to study.”

“I understand,” you say softly. “I just hope you won’t forget about your education all together even after you debut. You’ll never know what will happen.”

You always say “you’ll never know what will happen”. You said, “You’ll never know what will happen! Just continue and be strong!” when I broke down and told you that I couldn’t take the pressures of being part of SM anymore. I’m now part of a highly-anticipated boy group. You said, “You’ll never know what will happen! Call her!” when I told you that another trainee in the company gave me her number. I ended up dating Jung Krystal for a few weeks. With you, sometimes the most incredulous things happen. I guess I’ll never know what will happen, but you do.

“What do you think will happen?” I challenge you.

“Well,” you shrug. “Considering the global economy and the decline in music download sales thanks to piracy, SM may have to cut a few groups and who knows. You guys may not make it big.”

“Oh, thanks for supporting us,” I tell you dryly.

“I’m just saying it hypothetically, of course. But I think that maybe you guys will be pretty big. There are so many of you and I have to admit that all of you are very good-looking. Girls these days really care about that stuff.”

I smirk. “So, you think I’m good-looking?”

There’s only the slightest scintilla of a blush on your cheek, but you roll your eyes. I’m surprised when you say, “Yes. You are.”

There’s silence, and it’s awkward I can tell. But right now, I don’t care. I’m soaking in those words because one day I’d love to tell them to you, too. Not that Not that you’re just good-looking.  But also that you’re so effortlessly beautiful and resplendent and that if I were the luckiest man on earth, then I’d be able to call you mine.

However, I bite my tongue.

“How are you and Taemin?” I ask you. It’s poison in the back of my throat and it’s completely repugnant to be asking you that. But I’m only asking you that because you like him, and I know you enjoy talking about him.

“We’re okay,” you say simply. “I talked to him a little bit last night, but he fell asleep before I could hang up.”

My heart feels so decrepit, and I’m holding onto each word of yours, waiting for you to say something that will make it seem like you are losing your attraction towards Taemin. I’m sorry, but I wait for things like that.

“So, you still like him?” I ask, with very little hope left. I know you’re going to say that you do, but I don’t know why I keep asking you things I already know. Maybe because I cling onto the silliest thread of hope.

“Yeah,” you whisper it very faintly. “It’s kind of hard, you know? Sometimes I see him with other girls but I can’t do anything about it. I only sit at home and wait for him to call me. It’s pathetic.”

It is. I want to tell you that you shouldn’t do that to yourself, but I believe that you have the very right to be attracted to whoever you want to be attracted to. Maybe you’ll realize this soon.

“Maybe he’ll realize it soon,” I say instead. “It takes guys like us a little longer to figure things out.”

“But he was talking about another girl on the phone last night,” you say with so much sadness. But why do I feel happy?

It’s because I know what you’re talking about. I know the girl he’s talking about; he talks to me about her, too. I don’t tell you this because I don’t like to see you hurt. But Taemin tells me about this girl he really likes, and that he would really like to be her boyfriend. He never tells me her name, and I assume he hasn’t told you who she is, either. I guess he’s waiting for the right moment to ask her out, and then that’ll be the day he’ll tell us who this girl is. I feel happy because it’s not you. I’m sorry to say it like that, but I can’t put it in any other way.

I keep my mouth shut, as if I don’t already know. You tell me the things Taemin told you about the girl he likes. As you describe the girl he likes, I could see that your eyes are welling up with tears. My hand instinctively takes a hold of the napkin on the table if ever they begin to fall.

“… and then he said that he’ll ask her out soon.” You conclude your rendition. And there it is, a small teardrop rolls down your cheeks. I try to pick up my hand to give you the napkin, but it just stays there. I can’t move. I’m paralyzed because it doesn’t only hurt me to see you cry. It hurts me to see you cry because of him.

I remain quiet, watching you quickly smear away the tears and sniffle. I feel so useless by just sitting there. If Taemin wasn’t my friend, I’d punch him in the face for you.

“I’m sorry,” you say. Please don’t be. “It’s just not fair. It’s no fair that this girl, whoever she is and whatever it is that she does, gets to win him over in a heartbeat while I listen to him talk about her. I’ve been trying so hard for so long to get his attention, but for what? So that I could be the girl he’ll call when he needs relationship advice?”

My heart aches for you. It aches for you – you who is crying over Taemin and wishing you wouldn’t be just a friend to him – and it aches for me.

“I just don’t get it,” you let out, sighing heavily.

You’re right. You don’t. 

A/N: What's wrong with me? I have three other ongoing fics but I decide to start another story? I'm trying to commit writing suicide. IDK. This plot has been picking at the side of my head for a few days now and somehow I fell in love with Kai from EXO.. which is weird because I only saw one teaser of his and now I'm like this. T^T SM. Where do they find their incredibly good-looking artists? Ugh. Anyway, my first non-SHINee focused fic. And I'm excited, to be honest!