T/W: Alcohol mentions, ual themes

“Soondubu jjigae… or bulgogi ddukbaegi?”

Yixing had no idea what either of those were like.

Junmyeon was closely inspecting the menu, he’d already decided what they were going to have for appetizers, now he was choosing soup. Yixing had given him complete control over what they were going to eat since he was the expert and all. He’d been thinking out loud, talking himself through the options before making his selection.

The lady came and took the order, prepping the grill and ventilator before returning again with their drinks. Yixing really enjoyed the honey and ginger teas that you could get in Korea, though they were sweet, they did help keep you awake. Junmyeon had chosen a barley tea instead, taking a small sip before the barbecue meats arrived.

“So, when was the last time you had barbecue?” Junmyeon asked, holding his hand over the grill to see if it was hot enough, it seemed so, as he started placing the thin cut pieces of beef onto the sizzling metal.

Yixing just watched, picking at his fingernails under the table. He wasn’t really comfortable when he was the topic of conversation. “Only once, but I didn’t really eat anything.”

“That’s no good, you should forget about that one time and pretend this is the first time you’ve ever stepped foot into a barbecue place.”

“I’ll try.” he laughed, but it was nervous.

Most of Junmyeon’s attention was on the grill, waiting until the perfect time to turn the pieces of meat over. Yixing looked him up and down, thankfully the warm weather was beginning to break and cooler temperatures were coming. Junmyeon had dressed appropriately for the climate, a smart button-down shirt and a cardigan. Yixing couldn’t help but stare at the knitting pattern, the cardigan itself almost looked handmade-

“Is- Is there something on my clothes?”

Oh , he’d been staring for too long.

“N-no! I was just… I was just admiring your cardigan, it’s very nice.” Yixing panicked a bit, eyes darting down to the food in front of him.

“Oh! Thank you, I made it myself.” Junmyeon the wool.

Wait, what? “You knit?”

“I used to, whilst I was studying medicine. But since I got my job I’ve never really had the chance.”

“That’s amazing, I’ve always wanted to learn.”

As he dished out some cooked pieces, Junmyeon gave him a soft smile. “If you want, I’ll teach you.”

Yixing’s answer was non-verbal, he just quickly stuffed his face with as much banchan and meat as he could. He’d never really been a fan of kimchi before, but the green onion type kimchi was a lot nicer than he’d expected it to be.

“Yixing, can I ask you something?” Junmyeon asked, leaning back so the waitress could place the soup down in front of them both, Yixing nodded, trying his best to chew through a large amount of food.

“Do you feel nervous when you’re around new people?”

Yixing literally choked.

Coughing and spluttering, he reached for his tea, taking a big gulp before dabbing at his face with the napkin. Junmyeon watched on, a piece of meat falling from between his chopsticks. He could practically feel his heartbeat in his ears, that was how intense the blush was. “I-I’m sorry, I don’t know what happened there…”

Junmyeon laughed. “You don’t have to keep saying ‘I’m sorry’, it’s fine.”

“I’m- sorry…”

He smiled, but it wasn’t patronising. It was knowing. “You’re a shy person, I know that. I just want you to feel comfortable with being around me.”

“I-I…”

“My cousin has social anxiety, it takes her a really long time to warm up to people she’s only just met, she becomes a recluse. But after some time she’s a lot better.”

“Wait! I- can explain…” Yixing said, holding his hand up.

It took him a few moments to collect himself, taking a deep breath. He wiped his hands on his thighs, palms feeling sticky and too warm. “I have an anxiety disorder.”

Junmyeon waited patiently, passing more meat to Yixing’s as he did so, and Yixing really appreciated it. It was almost like he was able to take comfort from Junmyeon’s calmness. “I’ve always had problems with mental health, but since coming to Korea it has worsened. The language barrier made things difficult for a while, and by the time I’d become proficient enough, I was already isolated.”

“I understand.” He says, pushing more banchan plates towards Yixing.

“I… know how taboo mental illness is here and I didn’t want anyone to know, in my last position, in a previous hospital, a colleague saw my own prescription and they, well, let’s just say I wasn’t treated the same after.”

“How rude of them! They should never have done that.” Junmyeon genuinely looked shocked.

“I soon learnt my lesson. I just didn’t want to be treated differently, but it’s hard to act like something isn’t bothering you when really it is.”

There was a pause, Junmyeon took the opportunity to put more items on the grill whilst Yixing tried the soup. It had tofu in, so he assumed it was the soondubu jjigae. He’d seen Junmyeon take the larger pieces from the soup and eat those directly, then putting the soup with some of the rice. He mimicked him because he wasn’t exactly sure what was the best way to eat it, but it tasted good and wasn’t at all overpowering. Junmyeon did have good taste.

“I think I knew, in a way. After we got coffee together. You had so many mannerisms that reminded me of my cousin. I didn’t want to scare you away, but I just wanted to make sure that you always have someone to talk to, you shouldn’t have to feel alone.” he nodded, before going back to grilling.

“I appreciate it, I really do.”

“Working where we do, we see so many things, good and bad. We see people from all walks of life, from all kinds of situations. We don’t judge them, so why should we judge each other?”

Although there was no eye contact, Yixing felt like he could really see into Junmyeon’s head. He couldn’t help but smile, he tried to hide it with his cup.

Then, he realised he hadn't exactly apologised for being such an this past month. “Oh, I just want to say, I’m sorry