“Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up.” 

-Neil Gaiman

"No dad," Seunghyun sighed, his British accent garnering giddy giggles from the table beside them. "For the millionth time, mom doesn't like roses... I don't care if all girls like roses! Mom's not like all girls!" 

Jiyong let a chuckle slip past his lips as he eavesdropped on the conversation. He made sure to take English classes seriously because when Seunghyun and Dara were dating, they often spoke in English. This however wasn't the main problem. Whenever the two spoke, Seunghyun would always glance at him and smirk. Jiyong had a feeling that they were either talking about him or that he was rubbing it on his face that he didn't understand half of the things they were saying. 

"She likes daisies and orchids. Throw in a few rings and necklaces too so she won't rip your head off..." Seunghyun looked at the duration of their call before he caught Jiyong's eyes. "Look, dad. We've been talking for almost an hour and I just remembered that I'm actually with someone... I'm serious. I'm with Jiyong. Do you want me to prove it?" Wordlessly, Seunghyun suddenly handed him the phone and if Jiyong had lasers for eyes, Seunghyun would already be decapitated. 

"Hello?" Jiyong murmured over the phone. 

"Jiyong, my boy! How have you been?" Even though Seunghyun's parent's were also full-blooded Koreans, they barely spoke the language, much to his dismay.

"I'm doing good—"

"Jiyong got proposed to twice by the same girl!" Seunghyun suddenly hollered. Jiyong was about to sock the man when he was interrupted by his father's hearty laugh.

"Well aren't you a lucky one?"

He grumbled, "Not really..."

"So when's the wedding?"

"There's no wedding, sir..."

"Is it a shotgun wedding? Did you get her pregnant—"

*BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP*

Seunghyun clapped slowly while nodding at the glaring man, "You're the only one I know who has the guts to hang up on my father like that." he wiped a tear from his eye and one-sidedly clinked their glasses together, "Koodoos to you, my good man."

Jiyong shrugged, sipping his coffee. "If he ever gets a bad mood from it, I'll send him an apology letter."

He laughed, "You don't need an apology letter. Don't you know my father loves you?" he snickered again. "Heck, we should be the ones getting married at this rate." 

The latter didn't bother to come up with a complaining retort like usual and instead just calmly sipped his drink. Seunghyun's grinning smile slightly faded but the amusement in his lips still remained. Resting his chin on his palm, he inspected the younger man with languid focus. 

Like Dara, Seunghyun was 4 years his senior yet funnily, the 'boy' doesn't acknowledge them by their titles... well it was different for Seunghyun at first. When he and Dara were dating, Jiyong would always speak to him formally. He used the correct honorifics and acted appropriately respectful as if he was some elderly man. It wasn't until they broke up and they got back in touch (as friends) when Jiyong started to loosen up around him. He let his guard down and they became friends as well.

It was as if Jiyong knew that he had won and lost a rival. 

"So Dara, huh?" Seunghyun mused. 

Jiyong spared him a quick glance, shaking his head and sighing, "That moron." 

The older man did the exact same things too—glance, shake his head, and sigh—but all for the different reasons. Noticing this, Jiyong glared at him and hit his calf, earning him a mute wince. 

"I don't like that look, Seunghyun." he warned. 

The tall man scoffed. "I don't like your attitude either but you don't see me beating your about it." 

He rolled his eyes. "I never beat your and you know it."

"Emotionally you did." pouted Seunghyun. 

From there, all he got was a shy of a smirk before the younger man's eyes gradually turned distant as he absently sipped his coffee. Again, Seunghyun watched and observed him. He may not know him for as long as Dara have yet he could still read him like an open book. Heck, he could both read them like an open book. 

That was why he ended it. 

"Tell me what's in that brain of yours, boy. I didn't come all the way here just to see you drink coffee." he flashed him a knowing look and he could almost see sadness in his eyes. "Tell me what happened." 

For a second, Jiyong looked at him with doubt. "Did she tell you anything?" Seunghyun shook his head silently making him purse his lips in thought and sigh for the nth time. "Well, she proposed to me."

"Twice?"

"Twice." 

Seunghyun blinked. "So what's the problem?" 

"Didn't you hear me?" he was starting to get incredulous. "She proposed. Twice." 

"Yeah...?" the latter sounded confused. "So why didn't you accept it?" 

Jiyong scowled. "Why would I accept it—"

"But don't you have feelings for her?" Seunghyun cut in. "Don't you love her too?" 

The man wore the most surprised look on his face. "What the hell are you talking about?" he muttered lowly.

"Are you just incredibly dense or are you just plain retarded?" 

"I don't love her!" he defended, clearing his throat when the other customers looked at him. "I don't love her." he said quietly, pausing. "I mean... I love her but not love love her—"

"You ing Koreans and your stupid 'hush-hush' - feelings." Seunghyun scoffed. "You love her! I don't know what the hell 'love-love' means and it sounds idiotic as you are but that still doesn't hide the fact that you—Kwon Jiyong—loves her—Sandara Park."

"You're Korean too, ." Jiyong grumbled. 

Gritting his teeth, Seunghyun smacked him in the arm, earning him a glare. "Don't change the subject, kid." he mumbled threateningly, making him blink. "Get your ing straight because you're really making me wanna punch you in the face." 

"Fine... I love her." he admitted defeatedly.

Seunghyun looked like he just won the lottery. "Thank you!" he said exasperatedly as if he was also saying 'about ing time'. 

But Jiyong looked away, adding quietly, "Like family..."

The older man narrowed his eyes. "What did you just say?" 

"I love her like family..."

He snorted. "Yeah if by family, you mean as a wife, then yes you do love her like family. I'm glad we established that."

Jiyong sighed irritably. "You don't understand—"

"No, you don't understand." Seunghyun was suddenly furious. They were still in the store so he had to restrain himself, yet the menacing look in his eyes did nothing but mentally abuse him. 

"Seunghyun—"

"I did not just break up with that wonderful girl just to be answered like that by a thick-headed man who's in way over his head." 

Jiyong's face darkened. "What?"

"What did she tell you when we broke up?" Seunghyun replied instead. 

"Excuse me?"

"I broke up with her."

"...Right."

"Do you know why?"

Jiyong inspected him closely but only found rage in his eyes. "She said... she said you guys didn't love each other as much—"

"She didn't love me as much." he cut in once again. "I poured her my everything but her eyes only ever looked at one person."

His heart started to beat erratically against his chest. "Stop." he whispered

"I broke up with her because I can't stand being the rebound." 

"Stop it." Jiyong's hands had readily balled into fists.

"I broke up with her because she never had feelings for me." 

Now Seunghyun looked at him with sadness and disappointment and it made him shrink in his seat.

"And yet you keep refusing the only girl that's ever looked at you like you're the only person in her world."

-when she was 22 year old-

"W-What? Why?"

Seunghyun smiled fondly at her before his fingers little grazed his cheek. "You know why." he muttered. 

"But Seunghyun—"

He descended down, placing a soft and lingering kiss on her lips. His eyes had closed, savoring the last taste of her. He swore his heart broke even more when he opened his eyes to see her still staring at him with a shocked expression on her face. He wanted to smile bitterly but he just couldn't. She was just too pure... too genuine... too in love...

Too in love with someone else. 

"Seunghyun." she whispered hoarsely, grabbing his sleeve. "Don't." 

"Shhhhh." he cooed gently, cupping her face and kissing the forming tears away. 

"Don't do this." she almost begged. 

They had just finished their anniversary dinner on the terrace of Seunghyun's condo. Two years. They've been together for two years yet the woman in front of her never developed the same strong feelings as he did. Though the girl was affectionate and physical with him, Seunghyun knew that he never really got all of her. It was heartbreaking to say the least yet he still stayed for as long as he could handle. 

He smiled sadly, pressing his lips against hers one final time.

"I have to."

And finally, the man couldn't take it anymore. 

"Seunghyun, please..." she cried, desperately latching on to him. Seunghyun did nothing but let her. He felt ill seeing her so hurt and fragile. He could never break her but he knew that he could. 

"This is for the better." he managed to give her a reassuring smile. "You don't need to keep lying to yourself, Dara."

"But I don't understand!" she replied instead. "Things were going so perfectly! We were going so perfectly—"

"Do you love me?" he cut in somberly. 

"I-I..."

The fact that she looked at him with reluctance and hesitation already told him the answer. Looking back on it now, they were never really a vocal couple. Seunghyun felt like she would only say those three words when he brings it up first. He didn't want to force her anymore. 

"I love you." she whispered, her desperate glassy eyes begging him. "I love you, Choi Seunghyun." 

"I love you too." he croaked. 

Dara scoffed incredulously as tears continued to stream down her face. "I-If you love me... t-then why are you leaving me...?" 

"Because you love someone else."

"I don't!—"

"You love Kwon Jiyong."

She immediately froze. 

"And you've been using me to push him away." 

Without another word, Seunghyun kissed her feverishly. He couldn't taste the same sweetness from before. Her soft lips had become chapped and frigid while her usually lax body turned still. Hopelessly, the man still continued. He kissed her like it was his last day. He kissed her with the intention of showing her all his love and making her realize what she was missing. He wanted to get her heart, mind, soul—her everything but...

"I'm sorry." she cried on his shoulder. "I'm so so sorry." 

Her sobs and apologies rang in his distant ears like some sort of gentle torture. He sat there frozen, both body and mind. He didn't know when it started but he just suddenly found himself crying just like her. Even her warmth didn't help him turn any warmer. 

"I'm sorry, Seunghyun. I'm s-sorry."

He wanted to tell her to stop but he couldn't find his voice. In the end, he just let her apologize endlessly, inwardly hoping that he'd find a way to accept it with her helpless tone. 

"Seunghyun, I-I'm sorry..."

Blinking back to reality, he looked down at her, hands trembling as he cupped her cheek fondly. He offered her a shaky smile and placed a lingering peck on the crown of her head.

"I only wish for your happiness." he breathed.

Growing up, he always heard the cursed idiom 'If you love something, set it free. If it comes back, it's yours. If not, then it was never meant to be'. After that day, they didn't see each other for a few months before Dara suddenly reached out to him. He felt over the moon right then. He thought that he was going to get her back. 

But she just wanted to be friends. 

If you love something, set it free. If it comes back then it's yours. 

Seunghyun spat at such a bull statement. 

What if it comes back but friend-zones you?

Would it still be yours?

Or was it really never meant to be? 

...

Whatever, she was there beside him and he's taking it. 

Their love may have faded but they will always have a connection. 

Besides, friendship is safer than any kind of relationship.

—————

Seunghyun sighed to himself, smiling now at the sleeping woman in his arms from which he found a new love.

At least we're both happy.

Why does it have to be him? 

Dara sighed, rolling to her side and letting out a bored raspberry. 

I mean, there's a bunch of guys out there but...

Why did it have to be Jiyong?

She racked her brain for a reasonable answer but all she got was random flashes of the idiot's face yet even that was a viable response for her. 

Was it his looks... how he spoke to me... how he's always next to me... 

"When did I even fall in love with him?" she frowned in thought. 

Now that she thinks about it, she's always been attracted to him for as long as she could remember. She just wasn't sure when this weird attraction turned into