It took Kai 3 and a half hour to get to Krystal’s place. When he got there, Kai was greeted by Krystal’s father. Kai wasn’t so sure abouttalking to Krystal’s father and asking his permission to visit his daughter but when Krystal’s father noticed him inside his car which stopped right in front of the Jung’s house, Krystal’s dad knocked on his windows, asking him to roll it down.

“What are you looking for?” Krsytal’s father asked. Kai assumed that Krystal’s father has been watering the plants before he came because Krystal’s father was still holding the hose on his right hand.

Too late to back out, even with hesitation, he said, “Good morning, Mr. Jung. My name is Kim Jong In. May I ask where Krystal is?” Having realized that he hasn’t told the old man his relationship to his daughter, he added, “I’m her friend.” 

“Oh, Jongin! I’m Krystal’s father. She’s just resting in her room right now.” Mr. Jung throws his arm over Kai’s broad shoulders. “Come on, I’ll be serving you food first so you can eat while you wait.” Both men walked side-by-side to the kitchen. “What do you like? Do you enjoy coffee, tea, milk, or chocolate?” 

“Chocolate, please.” Kai sat upright on the chair with his hands resting on his knees. When Mr. Jung turns around to work on his drink, he felt himself blush because of his shyness. 

“Make yourself feel at home. It’s okay, don’t be too stiff.” Mr. Jung flashes a smile at Kai to which he just smiled back at. When the drink was done, Mr. Jung set the cups on the table and sat on the chair across Kai. “Krystal was actually sent to the hospital two days ago.” Kai remembered he was in Germany at that time—hopeless about ever coming back to his homeland.

“Why?” Kai asked. He thought of Krystal’s suicidal tendencies and later on got disappointed of himself of breaking his promise to save her…of not being there when she needed him the most.

“She tried to…to…,” Mr. Jung’s voice trembled, fighting back his tears but to no avail as it rolled down his cheeks before continuing on telling Kai what happened to her daughter. “She tried to take her own life, Kai. Thankfully, I discovered her early and took her to the hospital. If I was even a minute late, she would’ve been in greater danger.” 

Mr. Jung allowed Kai to enter Krystal’s room even if she still isn’t awake. Waiting for Krystal to wake up, Kai has yet again invaded her privacy: he reads her journal, her darkest thoughts.

• Dal Bong! Krystal is feeling her sad waves hitting on her again. I must be so pretty it always hits me up <3 
• How can I end this pain, Dal Bong? I’m alive but I feel dead. I’m still breathing and yet, I feel suffocated.
• Is life really unfair? I think it really is. Other people get to have what they want while I’m here, just wanting to be dead but I’m still alive.
• I’ve been trying to end my life for a long time now. Why haven’t I succeeded yet? Am I that much of a failure that I also fail with ending my own life?
• I don’t deserve to live and I don’t deserve to be dead as well (as what the universe is trying to tell me after many attempts). What do I really deserve, huh? Literally nothing? Thanks, mate.
• Is My Savior saving me even when he’s gone? Maybe he was a ghost that’s why he was able to get inside my room the other night. Is he not coming tonight? I have to have the coast clear to be not distracted. Tonight’s the night! I can feel it! (Finally, I felt something!)
• I’m on my hospital bed right now, Dal Bong. My father found me lying on the floor. I wish he didn’t…

“Kai?” Krystal’s crooked voice surprised Kai. He closes the notebook quietly and stands up from the chair. He goes beside Krystal and checked her temperature.

“You still have fever. What on earth have you done, Krystal?” 

“I just swallowed sleeping pills, Kai. Don’t over-react. It’s not as if I’m dead or something.”

“You could have been dead, Krystal! If not for your father-,” Kai stops scolding Krystal when she holds his wrist.

“Please do not mention him.”

“No, Krystal! You should be grateful-“

“I said stop it!” Krystal shouted causing Kai to flinch. “He is the reason why my sister is gone! He is the reason why I want to be gone as well now! So can you stop saying I should be grateful for him? Can you stop making him look good to me and making me feel guilty?”

“Why? Why would you feel guilty?”

“Because I’m selfish, Kai. I’m selfish to the point I want to take my own life and leave my dad.”

Kai fell silent. 

“Have you read my Dal Bong? I named my journal Dal Bong. He was my sister and I’s dog when we were still kids but he died because heaven needed a brave and strong dog, I suppose. And Dal Bong just fits into the job and he took it.” 

Kai felt sorry for two things: one, he read her journal without asking permission, and two, for her dog which died when she was still a kid.

“I’m so used with people leaving me, Kai. When will you ever?” Kai feels Krystal’s grip on his wrist tighten.

“Never.”

“Thank you.” Krystal closes her eyes and continues her sleep. She didn’t let go of Kai yet. So, Kai sits on the chair beside her bed and watches her sleep. Soon enough, Kai also fell asleep with his head resting on her bed and their hands, intertwined.

Author's Note: Okay so I feel like this one's a filler chapter... : (  I have written this weeks ago it's just that I wanted to add something more to this chapter but I've been really busy with academics (and I still am by the way). However, I wanted to post something today because it's been almost a month now since I updated this : ( so here it is huhuhu sorry for my lame update huhuhu I promise to update better chapters in the coming days because it'll be my semestral break <3 love y'all i missed you all soooooo much

Much love,

shineonmesf9