“There, all patched up”, Jennie’s sweet mellow voice filled the room.

Jennie tapped and rubbed my back to soothe the wounds and to make sure that the bandage doesn’t come off. The feeling of her so close to me, so warm to me is pure heaven and oblivion. Suddenly, I felt warmth encircle me. I felt welcoming arms enclose me in a loose embrace. At the close proximity, I was unknowingly sensing miniscule things about her. Her soft and smooth hair was touching my . Her arms were slightly touching a bruise. Her scent, she smells sweet, just like strawberries.  So sweet

“Don’t go, okay”, Jennie whispered.

She was just too cute when she nuzzled her head in my neck. I was thankful that she hugged me from the back because my face felt like it was deep in fire. I could never let you go.

I felt like I wanted to, like I really wanted to leave but I didn’t, I can’t. I want to detach myself from her because she’s just too perfect and I don’t want her to see how low I am but at the same time, I feel myself needing, craving to get her attention, her warmth.

I can never let her go, even if we have to leave, I’ll still bear her in my mind.

After a time of exchanging words, phrases and small hugs, we eventually decided to sleep in.

“Let me just go out for a second to talk about things with Chaeyoung”, Lisa requested.

A small nod from Jennie was seen as Lisa went out of the room. She met Rose at the kitchen where she was getting some chocolate or hunting for snacks. She let out an audible chuckle from the sight.

“Chaeyoung”, Lisa called onto her name.

“Oh, did you get the stuff in already?”, Rose questioned.

“About that, I decided to room with Jennie after all. I just- I think it would be destructive in our relationship if-if… if I suddenly moved out and- and-“, Lisa’s words were cut as Rose places a finger on her lips with a long sound of “sssshhhhhhhhhhh”.

“It’s alright. I just hope she treats you better”, Rose looked at her sternly.

Rose hugged Lisa, pouring her care for her. She smoothened Lisa’s hair and once again hugged her. Always the hugger

“Lisa, don’t get yourself hurt or sad, okay? Remember you can always come back to me.”, Rose made sure that she got the message by asking “okay” again.

“Of course”

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“Make sure you’re comfortable, alright?”, Jennie asked somehow motherly.

She looks so cute and caring when she takes care of me. I inwardly smiled at the sight. Jennie had been extra caring to me since the “accident”. She place pillows under my knees after she finished fluffing them in front of me. She also placed fat pillows at my side and placed some blanket over me.

“Jennie, I feel like a wrapped sushi”, Lisa laughingly asked.

“You are one”, Jennie replied and poked Lisa’s cheeks while chuckling.

Times like these are hard to get. It’s only sometimes that Jennie acts like this towards me. It’s only sometimes we share skinship and playful banters like these. I feel like this memory is ingrained into my head, like a prized treasure. I’m sure that I won’t be able to forget this moment easily. Times like these are as rare as jewels.

I just chuckled back but she won’t ever know how much magnitude of happiness I possess.

After bundling me up some more, she finally laid on the bed, with a soft grunt. I can see the illumination of her face with the darkness engulfing us. I couldn’t help but to hold my chest out of curiosity. I wanted to know just how much my heart was beating which I’m sure of is high. She is just too perfect. Sometimes, I just want to question the world why I was placed near her. Maybe it was the world telling me how imperfect I am. Maybe it was the world hurting me in the most cunning ways where I’ll be forced to blame myself. It was after some moments that I finally drowned in my pool of thoughts.

“Lisa”

“Lisa”

“Lalisa”

“Lisa-ah”

“Wake up, Lisa”

I felt hands shaking my shoulders lightly as my name was being called. I tried to move but I literally can’t. Something is blocking my movement. I opened my eyes to see Jisoo hovering over me. I felt the things blocking my arms form moving. I felt it around my legs too. Oh yeah- pillows. I completely forgot that I was bundled up by Jennie last night.

“Lisa, it’s time to take a bath”, Jisoo softly spoke to me.

We are supposed to have a light breakfast today in a restaurant to somehow bond with each other. I stood up with a fight. The pillows proved to be inconvenient when getting up. I grabbed my towel and stepped in the cold bathroom. I could tell by the scent that Jennie recently took a bath.

Scent

I was soaping myself when thoughts came rushing in. Now that I think about it, all the members always had a sweet scent. Rose and Jisoo smell like flower patches. Jennie had the scent of tropical fruits or strawberries. Now that I realize it, I don’t really smell nice. I don’t smell bad but I don’t smell that good either. I don’t have a scent. My eyes couldn’t help but roam around the small room. I took account of the shower creams, body sprays, shower gels, scented soaps, body butters and more.

Oh god, why am I thinking this? Why do I suddenly feel like I want to be a little closer to what Jennie is, a little closer to perfection. I don’t usually use so much body products when I bathe but now, I feel like I need to. When I hug Jennie, I feel like I’m in heaven, especially when I notice her smooth hair, soft skin and sweet scent. What does Jennie feel when she hugs me? Nothing.

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This new desperate feeling of needing to get beauty products forced me to another whole set of burden.

“Let’s go buy clothes, guys!”, Jisoo shouts were muffled by the large scarf she was wearing to conceal her identity.

Everyone shouted “yes” except me. I have to buy beauty products and I can’t let them know because I’m freaking nervous and shy especially if they find out that I don’t even know half of the products they use.

“Lisa?”, Jennie asked.

“U-ummmmm… I have to go to the comfort room”, I tried my hardest to make an excuse.

“I’ll go with you”, Rose stated.

“I’ll go too”, Jennie suggested.

“Should we all go?”, Jisoo questioned with a smile.

And there goes my best excuse.

We ended up sitting at our table after going to the comfort room. I tried thinking of another excuse and an idea snapped up in my mind. I waited until Jisoo got us our order when I “suddenly” and “accidentally” spilled some water to my pants.

“I have to get this off guys”

I hurriedly stood up from my seat, leaving the members dumbfounded. Thank god that the body shop was near to the comfort room but unfortunately, it was also near the dining place. I couldn’t get rid of the itch to somehow be better. I went inside the body shop and started roaming around. Numerous things caught my sight such as body butters and skin lotions. I grabbed a lotion with the scent of Ocean mist. I opened it and it smelled refreshing but it doesn’t really appeal to my taste. I grabbed a close one to it, Lemon zest. It isn’t really my type. I grabbed a green themed next, Forest green. It was actually good. It has the scent of flowers but nothing like Rose’s and Jisoo’s. I walked to the middle still clutching the container.

“Lisa?” Oh God.

Rose’s voice was right behind me but she was facing the wrong direction and as she faced me, I immediately clutched the container to my back while facing Rose and calling out to her. I don’t even know why I’m so shy about this.

“I saw you come in”, Rose sounded worried.

“Oh, I just- just let that water be and- and I saw this shop and I just roamed around- yeah”, I tried my hardest to stay composed but I just had to drop the container.

“Oh, wo-wonder how that got there, looks like I knock one over.” I picked it up.

“Why are you in this side? These aren’t really good ones. The better ones are at the back”, Rose dragged me to the back corner.

“What do you want to buy?” Rose asked.

“Nothing, my attention just got caught in those containers”, I replied.

“Well here”, Rose started to pick out bottles and containers. She picked up a lotion labeled “Garden of Eve”. It smelled perfect. She asked me to hold onto it while she grabbed other ones and examining them.

“Why don’t you pick some?” Rose said.

I grabbed a bottle out of the side and just to my humiliation when I saw it, “Men”

 “Never pick the ones with blue on the side, Lisa.”, Rose chuckled.

“I wasn’t- I just”, My words were cut off as Rose handed me another bottle.

“Here try this”, Rose smiled kind and warm while she extended her hand.

Oddly, I felt a weird feeling in my chest. I felt humiliated.