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he flipped through the other pictures in the box. in between, he found a handwritten letter - the paper has turned yellowish, and there were visible lines that it has been crushed before then flattened again in between these pictures. it looks quite tattered in some parts as if it had been read more often than it should be.

his curiousity got the better of him and he really wanted to read it, to get to understand his father better. could this be a clue to his father’s past? he carefully unfold the written memories and realised it was written about eighteen years ago …

——
soo, 
you stopped answering my calls, responding to my texts and replying my emails. i guess you really dont want to have anything got to do with me anymore. well, i wish you all the best. although deep down, i wish it was me that you are starting a family with but it is selfish of me to want that from you now. i am sorry that i cannot give you what you needed. congratulations on the success of your adoption efforts and im sure you will be a great father. so many times you have asked me if we have a future together, and most times when i kept silent, you said you understood although your eyes said otherwise. please forgive me soo, for all those times that i couldnt commit myself. i didnt cherish what i had until its gone - im sorry and i really miss you. i kept thinking about all our memories together. will you please accept me back in your life? will you give me another chance to create more beautiful memories together? i know things are impossible now and i have hurt you really bad. but i hope that someday, you’d let me in again and if that happens, each time you ask me if i see a future together, i will not be silent anymore because i realise that the only future i see, has you in it. please forgive me.

x
jongin.

——

as he finished reading, he felt tears in his eyes. he knew that he was adopted since his teenage years, but reading this letter made him so emotional that he didnt understand why.

he could hear the door creaked open slowly behind him. as if not wanting to interrupt him as he wiped his tears away.

“are you okay?”

he nodded and he felt footsteps closing in behind him, followed by a comforting hand around his shoulders and he can smell that familiar musky cologne beside him.

“if you are okay, then why are you holding on to pictures of me when i was younger? hmmm?”

he turned and saw the smile on his dad’s face. slightly embarassed, he smiled back and quickly placed everything back in the box.

“you better keep it properly else your father is going to be upset that you are going through his personal stuff. he doesnt want you to think im better looking than him when we were younger”

they both laughed and left the room together, as they head down to backyard where kyungsoo had prepared iced lemonade for all of them.