Amber’s POV

Krystal doesn’t stop kissing you when she climbs into your bed. The narrow frame sags underneath the both of you, but you’d let it break before you told her to get off.

“I love you too, Krystal,” you whisper back raggedly as she cups your cheek with her hand.

She’s on her knees, careful not to jostle you even the slightest, out of fear of hurting you further. But you want her to crush herself against your chest until you both can’t breathe. You can’t get enough of the way she tastes, how the soft curvature of her bottom lip slots perfectly into your mouth as you gently on it. She moans slightly, hands tugging at your hair.

It’s extraordinarily embarrassing when the heartrate monitor starts beeping too loudly next to you.

“Oops,” Krystal wryly chuckles as she pulls away. “Did I do that?”

You roll your eyes and crane your neck forward to capture her lips again, despite the incessant beeping echoing throughout the room.

“Can’t you unplug it?” you hungrily ask against her lips. “It’s killing the vibe.”

“No.” She leans away from you, eyes traveling all over your red face. “I kind of like knowing the effect I have on you.”

You blush even harder than before and you want to retort but she places a finger against your lips. Suddenly she looks like she’s afraid.

“I came back…to say that I’m—I’m sorry.” The words seem a bit difficult for her to get out at first but when she does, her shoulders relax the tiniest bit and she gives you a hesitant look. “I know you weren’t helping me just because you thought I was attractive.” Her breath hitches and you see a film of tears cloud her shining eyes. “And yes, you were right. I was using you earlier.”

You give her an abrupt shake of your head before she can further dig herself into the wrong hole.

“No, Krystal, I’m the one who should be sorry,” you start. “I was into you. I thought you were hot and because of that, I wanted to get closer to you. My intentions weren’t pure.”

Her eyes blaze and she clutches your unbandaged hand fervently.

“But they were, though! Amber, I can tell you’re the type of person who’d help anyone who needs it, no matter what they looked like. If you treated only attractive people well and other people like , then maybe you have a point. But I know you’re not like that.”

“How do you know that?” you demand. “How could you trust me?”

“My friends,” she answers simply. “Byul, for one. She said that no matter who needed help, you’d always stay behind after your TA sessions to make sure the struggling kids got the concepts. She said you once helped her for four hours before a test, even though you had the MCAT in two days.”

Some of the guilt that’s been eating away at you ever since you laid eyes on Krystal disappears.

“So, you don’t think I’m a creep then?” you ask hopefully.

Krystal slants her head and god, is this what heaven looks like?

“No, I don’t,” she responds with conviction. “And,” her eyes crinkle mysteriously, “it’s not like I wasn’t into you too.”

Huh.

You’d never considered that. It had seemed so far-fetched that Krystal would find anything about you attractive that the thought never crossed your mind. But the way she’s staring at you—could it be? Did she actually find some beauty in you too?

The monitor beeps even more insistently but it’s background noise within the dream you’re living.

“Well then, let’s call us even,” you say lightly, trying to stop the doubly loud hammering of your heart.

The radiant smile that’s slowly spreading across her face washes over you like sunlight. Maybe this is why people turned to religion. The comfort of worship, the hope in something greater than this world. All of that making life worth living despite its ugliness.

And here, Krystal with her gentle divinity, absolves you of all your sins.

--

It’s a couple of hours later, probably nightfall at this point, when you wake up from your sixth nap of the day. The room’s dark and cool. Krystal isn’t here. She went back to your dorm to get your toothbrush and a change of underwear. While yesterday you might’ve protested her going through your boxer drawer, somehow today, there aren’t any more lines.

You replay Krystal’s last smile over and over in your head. How could such utter perfection exist? Surely it wasn’t fair. Just like before, when you were trying to balance that equation with you and Krystal together on one side, you attempt this proof. But it slips you