This chapter became wayyyy too long so I had to split it into two parts. It centers around the practice for the second challenge, the position evaluations.

Hope you guys enjoyed the first week of school! (for those of you who are students)

When the remaining 60 of us enter the practice rooms to hear about our second evaluation, we’re all either sleep-deprived or puffy-eyed from eliminations. Isn’t it a little soon to be starting the competition again?

              “Hello trainees, how are you guys feeling?” BoA asks us kindly. Many of us groan, and Gunhee wipes away a residual tear from last night. “I know it’s been hard for you guys so far, but I just wanted to remind you about your next challenge.”

              “For this challenge, you will be picking either Vocal, Rap, or Dance, and making the performance your own. You will get to choose your songs based on your current rankings. That means #1, Park Jihoon, will go first, and so on.”

              A wall prevents me from checking what the nine boys before me picked, which is a good thing considering I wasn’t picky on who I got to work with anyways. However, I really wasn’t sure what position I could work well with. I did do rap in Mansae, but that was because I was still unconfident about my singing. Wait… if I was more comfortable doing rap, why don’t I just choose a rap song?

              All the rap options look unfamiliar to me. There’s Fear by Mino, Who You from Show Me the Money 5, Boys and Girls by Zico ft. Babylon, and Rhythm Ta by iKON. Not wanting to get overshadowed on stage by the guys, most of whom were definitely better rappers than I was, I rule out Rhythm Ta and Who You. I finally settle on Fear, because I could really relate to that word.

              Behind the wall, I find Lai Guanlin and Kim Jonghyun waiting for me under the Fear sign. Jang Moonbok and Kim Taemin join us to make a group of five. I don’t know much about any of them yet, but from what I’ve seen, all of them are very kind-hearted.

              “So… hello guys,” I stutter after we’ve settled down, trying to ease the last bit of awkwardness we have with each other. “I’m actually not familiar with this song, I don’t know if all of you are.” Taemin and Guanlin admit that they haven’t listened to Fear before either.

              “Why don’t we listen to the song first and see how we can make the performance our own?” Jonghyun suggests, turning on the lyric video for Fear on Naver. Leave it to Jonghyun to lead our group.

              Reading the lyrics and hearing the song for the first time, I find myself on the verge of tearing up. Ahh, so this is supposed to be an emotional song. But how am I supposed to connect it to my own experiences?