We sit in the same spot for over an hour, trying to pen down our feelings onto paper. But for me, nothing comes out. I draw a blank.

              I needed some alone time. I couldn’t think like this. Probably, the four boys all had poignant stories to tell. Sure, there was that first experience with me screwing up during the first audition, but I just… couldn’t put it into meaningful lyrics.

              “Look, I can’t do this right now.” I confess, before walking out of the practice room hurriedly. The door slams behind me, though it wasn’t intentional. GREAT, whoever was watching this show would think that my action was intentional. Upon realizing this, tears start welling in my eyes. What have I done? To my own reputation?

              Around two miserable minutes later, a finger taps my back. “Hey, what happened?” It’s Guanlin, three years my junior. “Jonghyun sent me to look for you and make sure you’re okay. Actually, he’s coming as well.” He motions behind him to indicate Jonghyun's presence.

              “Is there a problem, Alyssa?”

              Jonghyun is just way too nice. I can’t believe I’d just disappointed him like that by storming off. “I couldn’t think of any of my own lyrics during that one hour, and I feel super ashamed of myself.” My lip quivers, trying not to completely break down in front of the angel leader. “I’ve never written my own lyrics before. I’m new to this whole trainee thing so… please bear with me.”

              After a moment of silence, the normally quiet Guanlin speaks up – in English. “I’ve just been training for six months now. I think I’m just as new to this as you are. Let me know if you need any help.”

              “I think she’s pressured by all of us being here,” Jonghyun attempts to explain on behalf of me. “Maybe we should call it a night, think of our lyrics on our own, and come back when we’ve got everything together. It’s okay, Alyssa. You have a few days to think of something.”

              “Actually, Alyssa?” Guanlin asks me. “Why don’t you come with me for a bit? I have a few questions I want to ask you. They might help you think of something for your rap.”

              Walking down the deserted hallway, Guanlin drills me with questions. “Since this is an emotional rap, I want you to think about all the struggles you’ve faced so far. Do you ever think about your parents, for example?”

              The obvious answer would be to say yes, but come to think about it, I actually haven’t thought about my parents for a while now. In fact, I could barely remember them, even though I’d only been training on my own for six months. I suddenly felt like a horrid daughter.

              “I actually haven’t. I think I had a falling-out with them.” Guanlin nods disappointedly. “Thank you for reminding me about them. I don’t think I even have their contact information, to be honest…”

              “Why don’t you tell me a bit more about your situation and see what comes out from there?”

              The next day, I struggle to open my eyes after spending all night in Guanlin’s room writing my lyrics. Guanlin piggybacks me over to the rest of our group gleefully, declaring, “Alyssa finished her rap! We can start arranging it now!”

              I finally regain my awareness when Taemin and Moonbok cheer. Jonghyun looks through everyone’s verses with deep contemplation, then announces, “Alyssa, I actually like your rap the best. We can do Guanlin’s and mine first, then Taemin’s and Moonbok’s, and leave Alyssa’s to the end. Does anyone object to this order?” We all shake our heads. “Okay, let’s start practicing.”

I'm running out of good chapter names

Also, SPOILER ALERT! There is a major plot twist near the end of the fanfic that I hinted at in this chapter. Stay tuned to find out what it is!