*based on Ravi's Rebirth 

Everytime I stand in front of you

It's like I'm in front of guillotine 

Afraid of the verdict 

Back then, there was a moment where he was scared of everything; of judgements, of misunderstandings, of mistreatment. 

But he made a big choice, he wanted to make himself known. He wants to be a legend. He refuse to let himself be drowned along with the other idol rappers who are just rappers in name. He wants to prove his worth, to be his family's, 's pride, someone they can talk so proudly about. 

To his dismay, his choice backfired and he was left to pick up the remains of his dignity. He wasn't able to achieve what he wanted to but instead, he got broken. He was crushed by his own hopes and it hurts more than the embarassment that he felt. 

I'm not scared anymore

I've killed myself and was born again

"Kill me. "

That was what he told his leader that day. There was no tears, no tone that would leak his real emotion. There was only a blank, flat expression over his face. 

"Why? What happened? "

That was the question he received in response, along with the leader's confused and worried face peering on his. 

"What's the use of living if I can't do what I want? If I'm misjudged before I can even prove myself? If I can't be good to the people I love? If I'm not good enough to make my beloved ones proud of me? If I'm merely a disappointment? "

His leader's face hardened at his answer. 

"Who told you that? "

He refused to answer that. It doesn't matter. Who said that doesn't matter. What matters is that he no longer have the will to continue fighting so to die is the only choice left, right? 

"Kill me. "

That request  caused his leader to bore a hole in his head by the way he was staring. But he isn't scared of him, not anymore. He wants him to end things for him, to end his pain. 

"Fine. "

His leader grabs him arm, forcing him to stand up and follow him. His hold was far from gentle and it would actually hurts a lot if he wasn't already feeling numb as he was. 

He was dragged all the way into his own room before pushed down to kneel on the cold floor. Then a doll was thrown in front of him, their voodoo doll, the merchandise made during the Voodoo Doll promotion. Then there was a knife dropped next to the doll. 

His leader sat in front of him, grabbing both items in his hands. 

"This is you. "

His leader has said, ing the doll into his line of vision and he absent mindedly stared at it. 

How ugly, how distasteful, how useless that doll was. And so was he. 

"This is the weak you, the useless you. This is you without confidence, without faith in yourself. "

The leader's voice wavered, he noticed but he couldn't care less. 

"And I'm going to kill this you. I'm going to kill this negative you. "

In a blink of the eye, the knife has went through the fabric of the doll and cottons come pouring out. But his leader didn't stop. He stabbed and stabbed and stabbed the doll until what was left were only fragments of fabrics and cottons. 

"I killed the negative you. That negative you is dead now. "

His leader's words were strong and without meaning to, those tears were finally shed and he cried. 

He cried and screamed and wailed for what feels like infinity until eventually, the world went dark around him. 

The me you knew is dead, say goodbye

To the sky above

Because I cried like crazy

I've been granted life

I've been reborn

Waking up, he feels like a different person. There is an empty spot somewhere inside him, he can feel it. But it doesn't matter that much anymore.

Those pain he felt before, they are all gone. He remembers them but he can't feel them anymore. 

Those people who crushed his hope, their faces will forever be embedded into his mind.

But rather than hating on them, he feels thankful instead. He will show them what kind of big mistake they did by dismissing him like that. He's going to make them regret their words and ashamed of their arrogance.

And today, he's standing on the stage. All alone. 

There are people in front of him and his beloved ones back there. 

They are smiling at him, there are pride all over their faces.

He did it. 

He becomes their pride. 

But this is only a start. 

There's more to show. 

And even if this is only his start, he's still going to bomb the stage.