8. Black Out

It was a rare, lazy afternoon that both Jaehwan and Eunji had no schedules (well, technically Eunji did, but she ended early) and they were lazing on Jaehwan’s bed in the dorm. More specifically, Jaehwan was lying down with his head on a cushion over Eunji’s crossed legs, his eyes closed as he waited patiently for Eunji to finish. She was plugged into his Ipod, listening to VIXX’s songs for the new album, which Jaehwan was excited for her to give her comments.

“So, what do you think? Do you like it?” He asked excitedly, opening his eyes upon sensing her movement beneath his head. “It’s still kinda raw, but it’s more or less there…”

Eunji smiled at his child-like enthusiasm. She loved how his passion for music and pride in his work with VIXX shone through so brightly. This is another thing to be thankful for, she noted to herself. I don’t think I can ever date someone who has no interest in music.

“It’s really nice,” she replied. “I really love the title track; the lyrics are so beautiful.”

“I know right?” Jaehwan said, sitting up and turning to her. “We usually always have difficulty picking our title track, but this time round it was slightly easier.”

“The music is sounding really good too,” Eunji continued. “And I’m really impressed with Hyuk; his voice is sounding really good.”

Jaehwan nodded. “It’s maturing nicely right? He really has great potential.” He paused. “How about me? Haven’t I improved too?”

Eunji giggled at his attempt to pout. “Hmm, let me think…” she teased.

Jaehwan huffed and turned his back to her, pretending to be insulted.

Eunji laughed and crawled over to him, hugging him from behind with her arms around his chest. “Of course you have improved,” she whispered into his ear. “You’re always the best to me.” She was about to give him a quick peck on his cheek, but Jaehwan was quicker and turned his head towards her, capturing her lips in his. One of his hands moved to the back of her head to press her towards him, while the other rubbed her arm that was around him. He felt her smile against his lips.

Jaehwan twisted around to lower Eunji slowly onto his bed, all the while pushing his lips deeper against Eunji’s. He felt her arms go around his neck, tightening her embrace. Jaehwan was now leaning over her, his elbows and knees supporting his weight as he ran his hands through her hair. He shifted his weight to one side as he freed one of his hands to run slowly down her neck, shoulders, side, down…

“Hyung, it’s time for dinner – OH, so sorry…”

Jaehwan and Eunji flew apart at the sound of Hyuk’s voice, but he had already swung Jaehwan’s bedroom door wide open and caught the couple in their intimacy.

“Please carry on,” Hyuk continued, recovering from the shock faster than the couple. “Just wanted to say that dinner is ready if you’re hungry,” he pulled the door close. “Sorry for disturbing!”

Eunji was looking down and studying Jaehwan’s comforter like it was the most interesting thing in the world, her face burning with embarrassment. She sneaked at peek at Jaehwan who was sitting at the edge of the bed. He was grinning at her.

“That was awkward,” he commented lightly.

Eunji’s face flushed even more and her heart continued to beat wildly. Whether it was due to the feel of Jaehwan’s lips on hers and his very obvious need, or the rude shock that Hyuk dealt earlier, Eunji could not tell.

“Don’t bother about Hyukie; he’s cool,” Jaehwan continued. “Besides, we weren’t doing anything much, and we’re in my room. Private space and all.”

Eunji said nothing, but gave Jaehwan a weak smile.

“Shall we uh, head down for dinner?” Jaehwan run his fingers through his hair as he stood up from the bed and offered a hand to Eunji. She took his hand and climbed out of the bed. She walked to the full length mirror in front of Jaehwan’s (messy) wardrobe and checked herself to make sure that she looked presentable.

“So… which is your favourite track?” Jaehwan asked casually, as he waited for her to be done.

It took Eunji a moment to realize what Jaehwan was asking. She cocked her head as she considered. “Hmm, can’t pick one at this moment; they’re all really good.” She paused as she followed Jaehwan out of the room. “Oh, but I wanted to ask, who wrote Black Out?”

Jaehwan bit back a smile. “Who do you think wrote it?”

“Wonshik?”

Jaehwan laughed, nodding. “It’s so obvious right? He seriously needs a girlfriend.”

Eunji laughed along with Jaehwan, but her thoughts were elsewhere.

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Dinner was a noisy and chaotic affair as per usual. Eunji usually didn’t mind – in fact, she quite enjoyed the hustle and chaos – it reminded her of how comfortable they were with each other, almost like family.

While no one teased them about what Hyuk stumbled upon in the room earlier, Eunji knew that Hyuk had definitely told the rest about it. She might be over-sensitive, but Eunji could not help but feel the members giving Jaehwan meaningful looks and glances throughout the dinner. Jaehwan was his talkative self as per usual; Eunji was not sure if he caught on.

Later after dinner, Eunji was sitting in Jaehwan’s room by herself while Jaehwan went to haggle Hakyeon for the keys to the company car to send Eunji home. It usually required Jaehwan having to promise Hakyeon to do something (practice his dance or do the dishes/laundry or clean the toilet), which Jaehwan will eventually end up ‘forgetting’ to do anyway. After the haggling, it would be another 15 minutes of searching the dorm for the keys before Jaehwan could finally borrow it.

So Eunji was left sitting amongst her thoughts in the room, not noticing even when Jaehwan slipped quietly back in.

“Penny for your thoughts?” He said softly, patting her head so as not to startle her.

Eunji smiled back at him as he sat on the bed and pulled her swivel chair towards him. “It is worth more than a penny,” she replied, giving him a kiss on the lips.

“I’ll still pay,” Jaehwan said when they broke apart. “I want to know everything about you,” he declared.

Eunji thought her heart would burst. She gave him a wistful smile as she looked at him, pausing.

Jaehwan kept silent, waiting.

“I was just thinking about the Black Out song,” Eunji admitted finally.

Jaehwan raised his eyebrows.

“Is it…” Eunji gave a nervous laugh. “Is it something that you relate to?”

Jaehwan cocked his head. “You mean the lyrics?” He asked, and furrowed his eyebrows. “It has never been a lived experience for me, if that’s what you’re asking…” Now he gave a nervous laugh. “I mean, we’ve never… you know…”

Eunji bit her lip and nodded. “I know,” she replied. “That’s why I’m asking.” She took in a deep breath. “Is… it… something that you want?”

Jaehwan gave another nervous laughter and looked away, blushing. Eunji held her breath, her gaze never leaving him.

“Well, I mean… of course I want it,” Jaehwan admitted, looking anywhere but at Eunji. “I’m a guy, after all.” He glanced back at her and hurriedly continued. “But it doesn’t have to be right now. Eventually, maybe… but there’s got to be a right time for things like this.”

Eunji released her breath. “Right time,” she repeated.

Jaehwan nodded and locked his eyes with hers. “Yes. And I will never force you to do anything that you don’t feel comfortable with, Eunji,” he told her sincerely. “You have my promise on that.”

“Okay…” Eunji gave Jaehwan a weak smile. “It’s just… I know living with other guys and all, there will be talk about girls… and desires… and - ” Eunji cleared . “I wasn’t sure if you were feeling pressured to… you know, by the others. Or that they expect you to…”

Jaehwan shook his head. “They are not like that. Sure, we’re close like family and we share like everything and yeah, we tease a lot and throw insults here and there, but we are all respectful towards women and the opposite . I think Hakyeon will chew our heads out if we weren’t,” Jaehwan chuckled.

“That does sound like Hakyeon,” Eunji conceded.

Jaehwan took Eunji’s hands and clasped them tight in his. “Eunji,” he began seriously. “I won’t lie to you and say that you don’t make me feel things that sometimes makes me want to throw off all restrain and logic – you do. When you kiss me or hug me, or heck, even when you smile at me and only me, my hormones go crazy and my adrenaline shoots up to the sky.

“But I promise you,” Jaehwan squeezed her hands to emphasize his point. “I will never, ever, push you further than what you are comfortable with. In this aspect, you take full lead.”

Eunji felt tears pricking her eyes while listening to Jaehwan’s sincere words. She was so touched and loved by the way he placed her before his needs. Her heart felt like it was going to pound right out of her body.

“Of course if we ever have ,” Jaehwan continued. “It will never, ever be a dinner table conversation with the guys.”

Eunji blushed. She reached out and pulled his head towards her, resting her forehead on his. “I can never love anyone more than how I love you right now,” she whispered. She used her other hand to tilt his chin up towards her and placed a gentle kiss on his lips. “I love you so much, oppa.”

Jaehwan smiled back at her, his eyes bright.

“I loved you first.”

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AN: Of course, we cannot have a song like Black Out and not wonder what goes on behind the discussion of it haha