4. Athletics Over Flowers

Eunji sighed as she glanced at her handphone. No new messages or calls.

It has been three days since they last spoke, and Eunji was not sure if Jaehwan was still angry with her.

Two more hours, she thought to herself as she glanced at the clock. I will call him if he does not call or message me by the end of my schedule.

She tossed her handphone back into her bag and tried to focus on her music.

-----

A week earlier

“It’s opening night tomorrow,” Jaehwan told Eunji as he was walking her back to her dorm after a quick night stroll in the nearby park.

Eunji flashed him a smile and a quick squeeze of his hand. “I know,” she said. “Are you very nervous?”

Jaehwan shrugged. “Sort of. It’s been a while since I last did a musical. I hope I don’t get stage fright,” he joked.

Eunji laughed. “I’m sure you’ll do great,” she told him reassuringly. She paused. “I wish I could go see your performance.”

Jaehwan looked at her. “You’re not coming to any?” He sounded somewhat surprised.

Eunji shook her head. “I don’t think I can. My schedule is packed with rehearsals for the ISAC and working on my album.” She peeked at him guiltily. “I’m sorry…”

Jaehwan frowned. “Are all your nights packed?”

Eunji coloured. “I… I have some nights free, but…” She paused. “I don’t know how to tell the others that I will be going to watch your musical without them being suspicious,” she admitted. “Or asking them to come along with me without it looking suspicious.”

Jaehwan nodded slowly. They had not told either of their group members about their relationship yet. Jaehwan was less concerned – VIXX already knew that he had liked her since last year, and his company had repeatedly told them that it was okay to have relationships. Telling s wasn’t going to be a big deal; Jaehwan knew that they would be supportive.

It was Eunji who was hesitant. Her company had banned them from having relationships in their initial years when they first debuted, and while they no longer seemed to reiterate that point as clearly as they previously, they didn’t exactly come out to embrace the fact either. Eunji knew that she could count on her members to be supportive and keep it a secret, but she also knew that it would burden and stress Chorong-unnie more. Chorong already had enough on her plate and Eunji knew that the company was stressing her over Apink’s seemingly declining popularity.

The other half that is stopping Eunji was Jaehwan’s fans. While Starlight is a small fandom compared to a lot of other K-pop groups, Eunji knew that Jaehwan had a large number of female fans that were strong supporters, and was afraid of the backlash it might have on Jaehwan if news came out that he is in a relationship. Of course, Eunji never told Jaehwan this; she knew that he would laugh her off and dismiss it as an absurd reason.

They walked on in silence for a bit, and Eunji could feel the tension building between them. They had a few conversations previously about when they would tell their members, and each time Eunji was the one to hold back. While Jaehwan usually dropped the subject after that, she knew that it would be a matter of time before he got impatient.

“How about I ask Hakyeon-hyung or Taekwoon-hyung when they will be coming and you could go with them as a group instead?”

Eunji frowned. “But wouldn’t that be creating rumours? People may think that I’m dating either one of them.”

Jaehwan shrugged. “Or it could just be friends going to watch a musical together,” he replied. “After all, you and Hakyeon-hyung are widely known to be ‘sisters’.”

Eunji considered. “I don’t know…” She trailed off. Jaehwan glanced at her and saw her troubled face. His frustration melted slightly.

“It’s okay then,” he said brightly, squeezing her hand. “It’s just a musical.”

“I’m really sorry,” Eunji told him sincerely, looking up at him.

Jaehwan forced his usual bright smile on his face and turned to her. “Let’s just get you home.”

-----

Three days earlier

Wishing you all the best for your hosting later! You will do great. Jjiang!!! 07:14am

Eunji smiled as she read Jaehwan’s text. She was dressed and ready in the waiting room, waiting for ISAC to start. She had been selected as one of the hosts for the event, and she was beyond honoured. She had never hosted in such an event before; an idol-filled event, no less. The butterflies in her stomach quickened.

Eunji quickly typed a reply.

All the best to you too! Win many medals! Hwaiting!!! 07:15am

“Eunji, are you ready? It’s time to do a sound check.”

Eunji put away her handphone into her pocket, and followed the production and sound crew to the hosting station.

The day went on without a hitch, and Eunji was glad for the rehearsal hours that she had put in prior to the event. She felt herself getting more and more confident, and soon fell into the rhythm of commenting and making jokes while she hosted and entertained with the others.

She kept an eye out for VIXX and Jaehwan, and was proud of them for taking the time out to meet with their fans, entertaining them and giving out drinks. She knew that Jaehwan was aware that she was looking at him too – she caught him give sweeping glances over to the hosting station many times, each time flashing his wide grin. Her heart quickened every time he did that - his smile was her drug. 

The hosts were given breaks in between, which Eunji took the opportunity to say hi to her Pink Pandas. She was touched and grateful that they turned up for the event to support her even though the rest of Apink was not participating this year. Eunji felt obliged to spend more time with them to repay their support.

Annyeong Eunji, when is your next break? Anywhere private we can sneak off to say hi? I miss you L 11:23am

They were more than mid-way through the event, and Eunji was torn. Her next break was due in ten minutes, but she had arranged to meet up with the Victon boys as a show of support for their first ISAC. Prior to the event, her CEO had also spoken with her to ask her to make as many appearances as she could with the Victon boys to help boost their popularity, and also as a support for the company’s fellow group.

But she also really wanted to see Jaehwan. They have not met up or even communicated much since that night in the park due to their busy schedules. There were only occasional text messages and a surprise phone call she made to him before his musical opening stage – other than that they have been pretty much leading their own lives and caught up in their own schedules. Six months ago, Eunji would have never believed that she could miss someone so much in such a short period of time.

Annyeong oppa, my next break is in 10 minutes, but I have already arranged to meet up with Victon – company says so. 11:31am

Jaehwan’s reply came almost immediately.

Okay L Quick meet up after that? 11:32am

Eunji’s heart pounded. Dare she suggest a private space where they could meet? This would be the most dangerous place and time to do so, her logical brain warned. Thousands of fans and so many idols wandering around the premises; chances of getting caught is really high, and it would just be a scandal waiting to happen. Is it really worth it?

"Eunji? What do you think?"

Eunji was pulled out of her thoughts as her co-hosts called on her for an opinion. Her mind ran a thousand miles an hour as she quickly put her phone away and launched into the conversation. Thankfully, her co-hosts did not notice anything amiss, and Eunji was quickly able to catch on to what they had been discussing earlier. Ten minutes later when they took a break, Eunji went to chat with Victon, and also waved hi to their fans and took photos with them.

She did not realize that she had totally forgotten to reply Jaehwan until the event was nearly over. The realization slammed onto her like a ton of bricks, and she scanned the grounds hurriedly for VIXX and Jaehwan. She spotted them waving to fans and saying goodbye as they walked out of the arena, and she smiled inwardly as she saw Jaehwan piggyback his good friend Jin from BTS. She willed him to look up at her and smile before leaving.

But he continued to walk with his eyes forward; not a glance her way.

-----

Present day

“Oppa? Is it a good time?” Eunji asked tentatively when her call got through.

“I’m on the way back to the dorm.” His reply was short.

“Oh okay. Call me back later when you are free?”

“Okay.” He hung up.

Eunji bit her lip. She was not quite sure if Jaehwan was still upset with her, or if he was just tired and it was inconvenient to say much while in the confined spaces of the company car. She sighed, and flopped herself on her bed, waiting for Jaehwan to call her back.

She was awoken from her short nap by the vibration of her phone in her hand.

Meet me at the usual place? 10 minutes? 10:47pm

Eunji’s heart pounded. Something must be pretty important for Jaehwan to suggest meeting up this late – she knew that he had another performance the next day. She quickly threw on her jumper and glanced at the mirror to make sure she looked presentable.

“I’m heading out for some fresh air,” she called out to Naeun and Hayoung who were in the living room watching TV. “Will be back soon.”

“Okay, unnie! Remember to take your phone with you,” Hayoung responded, as Naeun threw her a wave, both unsuspecting. They were used to Eunji going out for fresh air; she often did when she needed inspiration or perspective for her music.

Eunji stepped out of her building by the back door, and headed towards the gate. She was surprised to see Jaehwan waiting by the gate as she stepped out.

“Oh oppa, I thought we were meeting at the park?”

Jaehwan shrugged, his hands in his jacket pockets. “I realized that it’s late and dark out and it’s not safe for you to walk about alone," he mumbled. "So I waited here instead.”

Eunji was touched by his gentlemanliness and thoughtfulness. She knew how much he hated the cold and it was a chilly night.

“Shall we sit by the back steps instead then?” Eunji suggested brightly, attempting to break the tension. “It’s less chilly there.”

Jaehwan nodded and followed her to the back of her apartment building. They sat on the steps in silence for a while before Eunji finally spoke.

“How was your performance today oppa?”

“It was okay,” he replied. “Everything went smoothly.”

Eunji smiled. “That’s great. Did you enjoy yourself?”

“Yes, I did.”

Eunji bit her lip. The conversation was clearly awkward and tense. She took a deep breath and took the plunge.

“Oppa… Are you upset with me?” She held her breath.

There was a pause. “Slightly,” he finally answered, not looking at her.

“Is it… Is it because of what happened at ISAC?”

There was another pause.

“Yes and no,” he replied honestly. He drew a breath as he turned to her. “I was upset that you could not meet with me," he admitted. "But not because you had to spend time with Victon... but because it felt like it wasn’t a priority for you. I felt like it wasn’t a priority for you.” He looked away again.

Eunji bit her lip again, unsure of what to say.

“I mean, I felt really dumb, you know?” Jaehwan continued, this time looking at the floor. “I felt like a fool because there I was missing you like crazy and you didn’t seem to act like anything was missing at all.”

“Oppa, that’s not true,” Eunji said softly, tentatively placing her hand on his arm. “I missed you too.”

There was a pause as Jaehwan kept silent, still looking down. Eunji racked her brains to think of what she could say to make it up to him.

“Sure didn’t look like it,” he finally let out.

Eunji recalled how she had actually enjoyed her day, and had totally forgotten about his text until the end of the event. She immediately felt guilty. She had no excuse. 

“I’m sorry,” Eunji said softly.

There was another long pause as Jaehwan continued to look down. He shook his head slightly. Eunji drew a breath.

“Oppa, I really do miss you too. And I’m sorry if outwardly at times it might look like I don’t,” she said. “It’s just… I really just forgot. I’m really sorry; there was no excuse for that.”

Jaehwan finally looked up at her, his eyes shining as he shook his head. “I know you had got a lot of things on your mind then; I should have been more understanding.”

Eunji squeezed his arm.

“It’s just, I – I have never, never had such strong feelings before, and I don’t know why it’s affecting me so much,” Jaehwan admitted. He looked almost embarrassed before he turned away. “It’s scary.”

Eunji smiled at him fondly and she reached up to cup his cheek, pushing it gently to face her. “I think that is love,” she told him, his cheek with her thumb. “It’s love, because I feel it too. I’ve been crazy distracted the past couple of days too, because I could sense that things were not right between us.”

Jaehwan reached up to hold her hand that was on his cheek, and brought it to his lips, placing the gentlest of kisses. “I’m sorry,” he whispered, before pulling Eunji into his embrace, hugging her tight.

"I'm sorry too," Eunji breathed as she closed her eyes and enjoyed his warmth, rubbing her hands over his back.

“You know, I’ve been thinking,” she said softly, after a couple of moments’ silence.

“Mmhm?” 

“I think it’s time that we should tell our members about us.”

Jaehwan was surprised. He broke the embrace to lean back and look at Eunji.

“Are you sure?”

Eunji nodded firmly. “I was thinking about it the past couple of days,” she admitted. “And I realized that we often get frustrated and misunderstand each other because I’m afraid that people might find out. So why not just tell our members whom we trust so much? At least we don’t have to pretend in front of them…” She gave him a slight smile. “It’s getting tiring.”

Jaehwan broke out into a smile. “Yes, I agree,” he nodded enthusiastically, and then frowned. “But only if you are very sure, Eunji," he told her sincerely. "This affects you a lot more than it does to me because of your company rules.”

Eunji nodded again. “I know. But we can trust our members to keep it a secret, right?”

Jaehwan’s answer was to pull Eunji snugly against his side, arm around her shoulders as he planted a kiss on the top of her head.

“I love you,” he whispered.

Eunji smiled, reaching out for his other hand and linking it with hers. “I love you, too.”

They continued to sit on the steps for a while, looking out into nothing in particular, grinning foolishly to themselves.

“If you don’t mind me asking then,” Jaehwan said after a pause.

“Yes?”

“How about our families?”

-----

Inspiration: Eunji as host for the ISACC, and the cute picture of VIXX at the end of the games with Jin on Ken's shoulders.