gwiboon starts talking before eunsook even sits down & she’s already halfway into the booth when what her cousin’s saying starts to click.

“he said what?”

“he asked me to marry him.”  gwiboon’s watching her in that way eunsook knows so well, asking for her consent for things she doesn’t need eunsook’s permission for.  this is an easy one: she’s definitely saying yes.

“congratulations!  oh my god!”  it’s not until gwiboon pulls her hand from beneath the table that eunsook even notices that it was missing & the ring is not what she imagined.

“wow.”  a breathless declaration, her hand reaching out to hold gwiboon’s fingers & bring the ring closer.  there’s no stone to glitter in the light, no jewel to catch the eye.  it’s a twist of silver with a rose & a leaf in the center, delicate & intricate & perfectly unique.

just like gwiboon. 

“he made it.”  eunsook looks up at the wonder in gwiboon’s voice & smiles at the pink in her cousin’s cheeks.

“it’s absolutely beautiful.”  the fingers are released as staff arrive to take their order.  the appetite that was non-existent when she arrived is buoyed a bit by her cousin’s news & a plate of saag paneer & a basket of naan is ordered for the two of them to share.

“when did he propose?”  a cloud falls in gwiboon’s gaze & there’s a hesitation she recognizes.  “what happened?”

“well...”

“gwiboon.”

“we had a fight.  & it was a good fight, it was fair.  no name calling or things being thrown or any of my usual.”  she swallows & eunsook manages to suppress an inappropriate laugh with a sip of her ice water.

“it’s been bothering me for a while that he might want more kids.  & i don’t want any.”  eunsook raises an eyebrow & opens to point out the obvious problem with that as gwiboon quickly waves her hand.  “that’s not what i mean.  i don’t want to have any of my own.  that’s not something i’ve ever wanted.  & instead of having that conversation i just kept putting it off.  & then ondrew said something about me being his mom & us having a baby & it just brought things to a head.

“i waited until he was asleep & then we talked at the table & i was more aggressive than i should have been because i thought ‘this is it.  this is when this great man walks out & i never see him again.’”  her eyes well up & eunsook moves quickly to her side, slipping an arm around her shoulders & holding her close, rubbing her hand up & down her arm & waving away the wait staff who come over with concern.

“i know it’s not rational-”

“love rarely is.”

“-but i just keep thinking that there’s no way he’ll stay.  he’s too nice.”

“you are worth staying around for.”  gwiboon sobs then, burying her face deeper into eunsook’s chest & not for the first time eunsook curses her cousin’s father.  it takes a few moments for gwiboon to catch her breath & sit up, knuckles delicately wiping at her eyes & little sniffles taking the place of heavy sobs.  she laughs & points eunsook back to her side of the table & then they are sitting across from each other as she begins again, interrupted immediately by the arrival of their food.

“that’s pretty much what he said.  i told him that i didn’t want to have my own kids & that i can’t be a traditional mom staying home, keeping house, any of that stuff.  no pta meetings.”  eunsook bursts out laughing, covering & the bite of naan she nearly chokes on.  “that part made him laugh too.  i told him that i can show ondrew art & help him read & that i can show him love.  he said he knew that all already & asked if there was anything else that was bothering me.  so i told him that i didn’t understand why he was with me.  & then he told me all the reasons.”  gwiboon swallows back a few more tears & takes a shaky breath.  “i had to stop him after an hour.”  eunsook laughs again at both the smile on gwiboon’s face & taemin’s sappiness.

“aw.”  gwiboon twists sideways with a blush & faux irritation at eunsook’s teasing.

“shut up.  it was nice.”

“then he proposed?”

“yes.  he asked me if i’d be willing to settle for him.”

“ha!  oh my gosh.  that’s so cute.”

“he’s such a weirdo,” gwiboon mutters, looking down at her ring.

“yes but he’s your weirdo.”

“yeah.”  there’s another pause & then gwiboon is looking up at her with hopeful eyes asking “so what’s new with you?”

~

eunsook doesn’t mean to do it, it is a secret that was meant to be kept.  but they’ve been talking & drinking at gwiboon’s apartment for the last hour & she’s not wholly sober anymore & gwiboon has just made a remark about minho that she feels needs to be defended.

“no, he didn’t promise for forever.  it was only two years.”  another drink burns down & warms her chest.  she sighs & looks back up at gwiboon who now looks more confused than angry.  that’s good. 

“what was only two years?”

“our contract.”  it slips out so easily & though she tries to grab the words they’ve already floated away before she can slap them back against her lips.

“you had a contract?”

“all marriages are contracts.”  another sip & another sigh & her eyes shut against the look gwiboon is giving her.

“you made a contract with him that said your marriage would only last two years?”  eunsook just nods in the darkness.  “why?”  the thought of fabricating a story is tempting but her brain is just clear enough to know that her mind is too fuzzy to make one up.  besides, it doesn’t matter anymore.

“junghee.”    

“junghee?”

“she asked me to take care of him.”

“...junghee asked you to take care of minho?”

“mm-hmm.”

“when?”

“in a letter.  before she died.  she knew he’d be sad.”

“how did she know?”  eunsook opens her eyes because that was definitely not meant to be shared.  she’s staring at gwiboon wide-eyed & gwiboon is shifting in her chair & her tone is dangerous when she repeats, “eunsook.  how did she know?”

“please don’t ask.”  it’s all she can think of to say, clinging now to hope.  gwiboon’s eyes narrow.

“ok.  does minho know?”

“no.  he just wanted everyone to stop feeling sorry for him.  he thought it would be better if they were mad.  then they’d leave him alone.”

“oh.”  eunsook lifts her bottle & finds it empty.  it drops to the carpet beside her & absently she hopes it doesn’t tip over.  they’re in gwiboon’s flat because she likes it there.  it’s cramped & cozy & smells nice.  the sofa is hers & gwiboon sits in a chair far soberer & confused than eunsook.

it’s quiet for a while & eunsook can almost hear her cousin thinking.  she wishes she hadn’t said anything on this beautiful day when gwiboon is in love & engaged to a good man.  maybe her cousin will forgive her. 

“did you tell him you were in love with him?”

“no.”  it comes out so fast she doesn’t have time to be surprised by gwiboon’s question.  “we never said ‘i love you’.”

“even though it was obvious that you both did?”

“maybe he did.  he doesn’t now.  he can’t.  i lied to him & now he knows.  that wasn’t fair to him.”

“about junghee?”  eunsook nods silently into her chest & stares at her toes.

“he found one of her letters.”

“there were more than one?”

“no, just one.  lots of pages, though.”  she looks up at gwiboon then.  “please don’t ask about her anymore.”

“ok.  sorry.  did he say anything before he left?”

“that i tricked him into falling in love.”

“what the ?!”

“gwi.”

“ok, ok.”

“he also asked me if it was a lie.”

“what did you say?”

“nothing.”

“nothing?”

“nothing.  what could i say?  if i said ‘yes’ it wouldn’t be true & if i said ‘no’ it wouldn’t be true.”

“so you said nothing.”

“i said nothing.”

“you love him.”

“so much.”

“but you won’t tell him.”

“no.”

“what if he came back?”

“gwi...”

“just tell me.  would you marry him again if he asked?”

“yes.”

gwiboon nods & doesn’t ask any more questions & eunsook offers no more secrets.  they sit in stillness until they fall asleep in the bed gwiboon unfolds from the depths of the couch & eunsook wakes up with her cousin’s hand on her back.  she leaves in the morning with a long, tight hug & a specific destination in mind.

~

the hardest part was telling his father.  the smile he gives her is so warm & so sad that she bursts into tears & begins apologizing for failing.

“i’m so sorry,” she says into his suit jacket.  familiar arms hold her around the shoulders & the scent of his cologne is a soft balm to a wound that is still raw.  the hands at her back alternately hold her tight & rub soothing circles around her spine: her eyes close when she feels the gentle pressure of a kiss to the top of her head.

“shhhh.  i’ll always love you,” he says.  “remember that.”  she bites her lip & sniffles as she nods against his chest.

~

“i want to ask eunsook out.”  minho takes a long sip of the drink in front of him, keeping his eyes on the worn wooden table. 

“i know.”

“oh.”  jonghyun sounds confused & minho sighs, looking up at his friend.

“you weren’t subtle.”  an unfair remark that has jonghyun’s eyes widening.

“oh man, i didn’t mean-”

“no, you,” minho runs his fingers through his hair & gives jonghyun the best smile he can.  “you didn’t do anything wrong.  i never felt disrespected &, more importantly, eunsook never said she felt uncomfortable.  that’s what matters.”

“good, good.”  minho watches him & knows that jonghyun isn’t convinced.  against his interests & for eunsook’s he leans forward.

“look.  it’s been two months.  we’re all adults without commitments.  if eunsook says yes then you should take her out.”

“are you sure?”

“yes.  you two could be great together.”  they really could too, he thinks.  jonghyun always made her laugh.

“i just don’t want things to be awkward.”  minho snorts & looks out the window.  it takes a moment for him to turn back & look jonghyun in the eye.

“it’d be more awkward if i knew my best friend had a thing for my ex-wife & i didn’t give him the chance to make her happy.”

“ok.”  jonghyun nods soberly.   suddenly he breaks into a smile so bright that it makes minho’s eyes hurt.  “thanks man.”  minho gets a warm pat to his shoulder & a paid bill as his friend leaves.  he waits a full minute from the last moment the bells over the cafe door stop jingling before he slams his fists on the table & puts his head in his hands.   

~

two blocks until she reaches her destination, her heart clenching as she gets closer.  maybe today’s the day she actually makes it inside.  the click of her shoes against the pavement is interrupted by an abrupt “eunsook!” behind her & she looks over her shoulder to find jonghyun trotting up behind her with a wide grin.

“hi!”

“hey,” she replies slowly, surprised to see him downtown.  instinctively she glances over his shoulder, somehow expecting minho to be coming up from behind.  the disappointment of not finding him there has her sighing as she turns back to jonghyun with a little smile.

“how have you been?  i heard about you & minho.  sorry things didn’t work out.”

“thanks.”  he looks like he is about to say something more but then he shuts his mouth & just smiles at her.  conversation isn’t something she’s really interested at the moment but it feels rude to leave him on the sidewalk. 

“how are you & jieun?”  the smile falls & she feels bad for asking.

“we broke up a few months ago.”

“oh.  i’m sorry.”

“don’t be.  it hadn’t been working out for a while.”

“ah.”  they stand in awkward silence, eunsook glancing over her shoulder at the street sign & jonghyun rocking on his heels with his hands in his pockets.  “well,” she starts, “i should be going.  so-” jonghyun suddenly steps forward & she instinctively steps back.  there’s a pause that he soon fills with a question.

“eunsook.  i... if i’m out of line let me know.  but i was wondering if i could take you out to dinner some time?”  her eyes blink of their own accord & the answer is so obvious she wonders why he asked the question.

“oh.  no, i don’t think that would be a good idea.”

“because of minho?”

“well yeah.”

“if it makes you feel better i talked to him first.”  her eyebrows furrow in confusion.

“you asked minho if you could ask me out?”  the way jonghyun’s eye widen is almost comical & if they weren’t discussing her soon-to-be ex-husband being asked permission to take her on a date she might have laughed.

“oh.  when you put it that way it sounds...kind of gross.”

“kind of.”

“i just didn’t want to make things awkward between us.”  that actually makes it a little better.  in fact, she realizes, she might have done the same if things were different.

“no i get that.  what did he say?”

“that we were adults.”

“that’s it?”

“he said that you were free to make your own choices.”  she nods.  “is he the only reason?”  the look in his eyes is so hopeful, so earnest: her heart aches for him a little.  she tilts her head to the side & smiles at him sadly.

“jonghyun...” 

“i just...i really like you eunsook.  & if you gave me a chance i’d like to think you’d like me to.”  the memory of minho telling her that jonghyun had a crush on her flickers but something else in her memories burns brighter.  the smile is still there but now her eyes narrow.

“how long?”

“what?”

“how long have you liked me?”

“since we met.”

“when did we meet?”

“two years ago, july, just after you & minho got engaged.”

“the first time we met?”

“yes, of course.”

“jonghyun we’ve known each other for five years.”  the day they had met he & gwiboon had been slightly tipsy, laughing a little too loudly but definitely having fun.  he’d dated her cousin for a brief nine months before they decided they were better off as friends.  typical, she thinks bitterly, of minho’s friend to forget having met her.

“what?  no.”

“yes.  you dated my cousin.  gwiboon”  there’s a sudden gleam of recognition & his mouth forms a perfect ‘o’ as she continues.  “you say you like me & maybe you do.  but you don’t even remember me. & that says a lot.”  she watches as he bristles at her rebuke.

“neither did minho.”  the smile disappears & her eyes grow hard, cold.  she opens to speak, to scream into the sky & pound her feet on the pavement & tell him that she knows that & that just because she gave his friend a chance doesn’t mean he deserves one too.  part of her wants to tell him off & part of her wants to ask him how to get her husband back.  watching jonghyun’s face she breathes it all back in & swallows it down, lets it evaporate in her lungs.

“good-bye jonghyun.”  halfway down the block he pops up in front of her, blocking her path with his hands raised in defeat.

“eunsook, wait.  i’m sorry.  that was a jerk thing to say.”  her arms cross against her chest as she glares.

“yes, it was.” 

“look.  i really do like you.  & i’m sorry that i never noticed you all those years.  but i would like to be friends.  just hang out & talk about books or whatever.  so...yeah.  you don’t have to decide right now.  just...call me up if you ever want to get together.  just as friends.”  maybe they could do that.  when they talked in the past he often made her laugh.  but as easily as he had forgotten her she forgot him & his hopes are too high not to be inevitably dashed. 

she gives him a tight smile & a non-committal “ok.”  a relieved smile graces his lips & he nods as he waves good-bye, heading back in the opposite direction.  she sighs & turns around, moving up the sidewalk & turning at the corner & making her way up the block toward the courthouse.  when she reaches the crosswalk that will lead her to its door she stops.  the building is enormous, designed in some ways to look like a small castle, & she still hasn’t been inside.  & as she stares at the ornate design & the manicured lawn she knows that today she won’t be going in either.

~

gwiboon’s laughing at taemin’s anecdotes, another story about the life of being a dad to a 3-year-old when there’s a knock at the door.  startled, gwiboon stands up & moves toward the door as she asks taemin if it’s him surprising her with an impromptu visit.

“no, still at home.  i love you gwi but ondrew’s finally asleep & i’m not breaking that magic spell no matter how many kisses you tempt me with.”  she chuckles as she reaches the door, peeking through the little hole.  a frown & a curse pulls at her lips at what she sees.

“minho’s here”

“what?  why?”

“i don’t know.”

“are you going to let him in?”

“i don’t know.”

“you should.”

“why?”

“for eunsook.”  another curse & she sighs.

“fine, i will.”

“try not to be too mean.”

“hey!”

“gwi.”

“fine.”

“i love you, you know.”

“i love you too.”

“i’ll call you in the morning.”

“ok.”

“bye.”

“bye.”  the phone clicks off & she slips it into the pocket of taemin’s stolen sweatpants.

opening the door, she is shocked at minho’s appearance: gwiboon has never seen a man look so in despair.  one hand is braced on the frame, the other hangs limply at his side & he reeks of alcohol.

her first instinct is to slam the door in his face. 

they watch each other quietly, her waiting for him to speak & him with lips that move but make no noise.  finally, he just says, “help.”  the pain in his eyes reminds her of the pain in eunsook’s & she knows he has nowhere else to go.  & she’s not going to tell him how to find eunsook when he’s drunk.

she steps aside & waves him in, closing the door behind.  leading him toward the sitting area, she asks if he’d like some coffee, turning away to pour him some from the open kitchen before he can even answer.

“go sit down.”  his head hangs low & weariness radiates from his entire body, his haggard face making him appear much older than he actually is.  he takes a seat in one of the over-stuffed chairs & his head drops into his hands.  the cup of coffee she pours him is placed on a little wooden coaster shaped like a pineapple before she takes a seat beside him on a matching sofa.

“so you’re drunk.”

“no, i’m minho,” comes his muffled reply.

“oh my god.”

“no, just a mortal.”

“one more minho.”

“i miss her so much,” he whispers, his face finally re-emerging.

“you should tell her that.”

“no, i shouldn’t.  she should be happy.”

“she was.  she was happy with you.”

“was she?”

“don’t get all self-pitying now, choi.  don’t act like you didn’t see her smile.  & don’t ing try to tell me that it was an act either.  you know it wasn’t.  she & junghee weren’t friends.  no one agrees to be married, even for just two years, to someone who can’t even ing remember their name.  especially not for a virtual stranger.”    the shock on his face is hilarious & she doesn’t bother to hide her laughter.  “oh yeah, i know.  i knew something was off but i was so happy for eunsook that i didn’t question it.  besides, who would have guessed what you two were up to?  that’s so weird.”  the coffee is bitingly hot against her tongue, just the way she likes it, & she’s relishing in his discomfort.  his mouth opens to speak & she brusquely cuts him off.

“eunsook’s rich.  did you know that?”  minho squints at her in confusion.

“what?”

“absolutely loaded.  in case it ever crossed your mind that she did it for money.”  minho’s very quiet.  gwiboon watches him while she sips from her mug.

“no.  i offered her money but she never spent it.  it’s still in the account i set up for her.”

“you checked?”  there’s a flinch & she’s glad because she didn’t use that tone to make him smile.

“at first i was going to close the account.  then i decided i’d just take my name off but keep the auto-deposit on.  that’s when i found out that there were never any withdrawals.”

“typical eunsook,” gwiboon mutters as she takes another drink.

“what do you mean?”

“doing more than she says.  always helping out in ways that aren’t obvious.  listening without saying much.”

“i asked her about that.  it made her mad.” 

“she doesn’t like to talk about it.”

“why?”  gwiboon’s eyes narrow & she thinks about the answer to the simple one-word question & wonders if she should be the one to give it.  the decision is made when she thinks about how eunsook cried & how she had said ‘yes’ when asked if she’d marry minho again.  there’s only a hint of a secret in what she’s about to say & maybe it’s time someone besides the three of them knew: mr. choi might even be glad to share it with his son.

“you were here when her father died, right?”

“i remember going to his funeral.”

“you kissed eunsook three days later.”

“i remember.”

“& then forgot it was her.”  enough shame & regret has been expressed by him but she doesn’t resist the urge to twist that particular knife: he hasn’t earned her forgiveness yet.

“yes.” 

“he was partners with your father.”

“yes.”

“do you remember how he died?”  minho scrunches up his face in thought.

“no.  i remember that it was very sudden.”

“he was out of town on business.  they found his body in his car in a hotel parking lot.  an aneurysm.”

“oh.”

“what about her mom & her brother & sister?”

“she has a brother & sister?”  gwiboon would be angrier at him forgetting that piece of the puzzle if he hadn’t been so young when eunsook & her family moved away.  most nine-year-olds aren’t that aware of others, much less children five & six years younger.

“had.”  the depth of her answer is allowed to rest between them & she keeps her eyes on minho’s so that she can watch as he slowly begins to understand.

“what do you mean ‘had’?”

“when eunsook’s father died her mom moved them out of the city & back to the small town she & my mother grew up in.  city life hadn’t really been for her to begin with & there was no point in staying if her husband wasn’t there with them.  that’s what she told my mom anyway.

“four years passed with things going as expected for a woman who loses her husband suddenly & has three kids aged 11, 4, & 3 to raise.  then one night eunsook sneaks out of the house to go lie in the hammock that hung between two trees at the edge of the yard.  the moon had been full & it was a warm night so she had gone out to swing in the hammock & stare at the stars.  it saved her life.

“sirens & screams from across the yard woke her up.  their house burned to the ground that night with everyone & everything still inside.  the firefighters did what they could but it was just too late.”

“what happened?”  gwiboon shrugs & looks at the ground.

“old house.  bad wires.  never looked into it any more than that.  all that matters is that eunsook was there when it happened.”  gwiboon looks back up & makes sure minho is watching her before she continues.  “eunsook has nothing from her life before that day: everything burned.  clothes, toys, furniture, photographs.  the only things she has now are memories & memories fade & change.  we have a few pictures at home that she’s able to look at when she wants but that’s not nearly the same as photos you know your mother took.  the only thing she owns is a picture of her parents on their wedding day, their marriage license, & her siblings’ birth certificates that she found in a safety deposit box years later.  she made a copy of it all & carries that photograph everywhere.  has she shown it to you?”

minho shakes his head.

“maybe she will one day.  it’s not something she talks about much, not even with me.  anyway, after that she came to live with us, my mom & i.  & it was quite an adjustment for everyone since she was used to little kids running around & now she’s stuck sharing a room with a teenager who’s used to being the only child.  on top of which my mother has never been well & my dad left when i was three so it’s always been just us.  as an adult i look back & realize just how hard that must have been for her losing her family & then being put with people who aren’t used to sharing their space or their time.

“my mom was her guardian & your dad made sure that eunsook was taken well care of.  her parents both had wills, fortunately, so when they died their money & properties went to her.  your dad is smart & he made sure that it was invested well & put into a trust with limited access.  my mom used to complain that she wasn’t a trustee but your dad was smart not to let her: finances have never been my mother’s strength & she had relied heavily on my aunt & uncle when they were alive. 

“after she arrived she pretty much stopped talking & even getting her to eat wasn’t easy.  it was obvious even to me that she was depressed; who wouldn’t be after all that?  she filed for emancipation a year later & then just disappeared, completely fell off the grid.  no idea where she was for two years.  then one morning she calls & says she wants to go to easter services with us.  to this day i don’t know why.  i’m not sure she does either.  even as a child she was never religious, though her mom was.  maybe she just missed her mom & wanted that little bit of connection.  we were so glad to hear from her that we immediately said ‘yes’ & went to pick her up.  we stayed here in her apartment, the one everyone thinks is mine.”

“wait.  this is eunsook’s?  is she here?”

“no.”  gwiboon watches him, dares him to ask where she is.  he opens his mouth & then seems to think better of it, nodding silently & gesturing for her to continue.

“we were halfway through service when something just broke.  this girl who the last time i had seen her could barely move, much less cry, suddenly began to sob.  gut wrenching sobs that just would not stop.  her whole body was shaking & it was like every emotion, every pain she had ever experienced was finally being released.  i had to take her outside.  tears were still streaming down her face but the sobs slowly subsided.  it took her a long time to calm down.  afterwards we came back here & she went to her room & we didn’t see her again until the next morning.  when she came out it was like some sort of light had been lit inside her.  she had this serenity that i’d never seen her have.

“she called your dad & they talked a little about how her life had been, how depressed she had felt.  he suggested she see a therapist & reluctantly she went.  it was the best thing for her.  the therapist told her that she may be sad for a while yet, that she might even be sad always.  but she said that she could be sad without purpose or sad with purpose.

“eunsook took that & just ran with it.  she tried volunteering but it was too much for her: too many people.  so instead she started sending food to soup kitchens, diapers & formula to crisis nurseries, & starting knitting blankets for senior homes & nicu babies.”

“that explains all the yarn.  i knew she knit but i never realized that’s what she was doing.”

“did you ask?”

“i asked what she was making.  she always said it was for a friend.”

“she would.”  gwiboon looks down at the empty cup she still holds in her hands.  a sigh breathes over the cold ceramic before she puts it on top of a pineapple coaster of her own.   

“there’s one more thing.  there’s no way eunsook told you this & maybe i shouldn’t either.  but i think it’s why why eunsook was willing to sign that agreement & marry you in the first place.

“eunsook’s been in love before.  it was a long time ago & it ended badly but it was good for a long time.  he was a really nice guy.  they met when she dropped off some blankets & he was just smitten with her immediately.  i was with her that day & you should have seen the way he looked at her; like she was sunshine itself.  it was funny because they’re both pretty quiet but when they were around each other they just couldn’t stop talking.  or touching each other.  just little things to most people but huge for eunsook.  him too according to his friend frank.  he said kai wasn’t like that with just anyone & we both laughed at how lovesick the two were. 

“it never crossed her mind that he would actually be interested in her as anything more than friends.  they hung out & played pool & video games, went out for burgers, went shopping; that kind of stuff.  he got hit on all the time by girls & guys & he always got so flustered.  it was actually kind of cute.  but that just made her think that he was out of her league & that they wouldn’t ever have a romantic or physical relationship.  it took him months to convince her that he wanted that with her. 

“he asked her to marry him on their one-year anniversary & gave her a ring with a garnet instead of a diamond.  she laughed when he said it was his birthstone.  eunsook loved that ring, it was so beautiful & so simple.  it’s in a box now with all their pictures & the little notes that he wrote her.  we haven’t spoken about kai since he died but sometimes i find her going through that box, pictures & letters all around her.”     

“he died?  what happened?”

“do you remember the boy that nearly drowned about eight years ago?  a good samaritan jumped into the river & pulled him to safety & then got caught in an undercurrent?” 

“yes, i think so.”

“that was him.”

“oh my god.”

“after that eunsook tried to drop off the radar again.  this time, however, i was not letting her disappear for years on end.  i hounded her, followed her everywhere.  i had to skip my first semester of college but it was more important that i not lose her again.  i was a constant source of irritation for her which is what i was hoping for: any emotion would be better than apathy & even anger was good.”  gwiboon chuckles, looking down at her feet, arms hugging her knees to her chest.  “she even hit me.  well, decked me is more like it.  she’s stronger than she looks & pretty fierce when she’s mad.  the look on her face as she stared down at me lying on the floor is something i’ll never forget.  i think that was the turning point for her.  it wasn’t easy, it took a lot of cajoling & patience & hard work but she came out on the other side.  she knows what it’s like to lose someone you love.  and when you asked her to marry you i think she saw an opportunity to be a friend to someone she knew would need one.” 

minho leans back against the chair, rubs his face with his hands & then lets them drop into his lap.

“she loves you, you know.  she’d take you back.”

“would she?”

“absolutely.  & you love her.  that’s obvious.”  minho groans & drops his head into his hands.

“i was such a fool.”

“yes you are.”  he peered at her from under his fingers.

“thanks.”

“look.  you’re sitting with your wife’s cousin in your wife’s apartment drunk at 2am on a saturday.  lucky for you it was a rare friday where i didn’t have plans.  but i do later today so give me your phone.”

he hands it over, watching her tuck it away in a pocket before he asks, “why?”

“because i’m not risking you drunk dialing her tonight.  sober up & get your thoughts together.  you can call her in the morning.”