eunho puts the steaming plate down in front of minho & another at the chair beside him; he’s already three bites in by the time she sits down.

“it’s almost mother’s day.  do you want to join us this year?”  a little snort at his puffed cheeks & confusion.

“what do you mean ‘us’?  joining who?”

“your father & i.  we go out for brunch on mother’s day.”

“really?”

“yeah.  you didn’t know that?”  less of a sting & more of surprise at this lapse in knowledge; what did he think his father did the second sunday of may?

“no, i guess not.  i’ve spent the last three with junghee’s mom.”  the scrape of his fork stops & he looks far away.  “well, not last year.”  eunsook finishes her bite & tries to think of something to say to bring him back.

“you should call her up.”

“i don’t think she wants to hear from her almost-son-in-law who got married less than six months after her daughter died.”

“she might.”

“she has another daughter who’ll call her up.  she won’t be alone.”  eunsook nods as she fiddles with the food on her plate & feels guilty.

“stop that.”

“what?”

“i can feel your guilt from here.  you’re not in charge of everyone’s feelings.”

“no, i know.  i feel culpable.”

“you’re not.”

“hmm.”  it isn’t an agreement but she isn’t going to argue the point.  some of it is irrational but it really does make her sad to think that the two had been close all those years & now they aren’t, especially since she’s part of the reason.

“we should invite minjung now that she’s in town.”  she smiles at his heavy sigh.  his grandmother had come to town for a 45th reunion nearly a month ago & had made no move to leave.  it had meant frequent visits that left eunsook with a smile & minho with a headache.

“she wears on me.”

“i know.”

“i love her.”

“i know.”

“she wears on me.”

“yes.”

“where do you guys go?”

“your dad & i?”

“yes.”

“i feel like whether you join us will depend more on where we eat than on anything else.”  a cheeky grin as the broccoli speared on his fork pauses mid-air.

“on that you may be correct.”  she snorts & sips her drink.

“there’s this little diner on the edge of town that your dad really likes.  their waffles are amazing.  they had their first date there, your mom & dad.  did he ever tell you that?”

“he might have.  he doesn’t talk about her with me as much as he does with you.”

“oh.  well, i probably just remember more.”  he watches her take another bite, her head bopping side to side while she chewed.  it hadn’t really occurred to him how much his father was a part of her life.  to him it had always seemed like his father doted on her, & it was true that he did, but he had never thought that she might be doting on him back.  he was slowly beginning to realize just how close his wife & his father were & how they always had been.  “or maybe,” she continues, “he just likes me better.”  an eyebrow rises mischievously & he outright laughs.

“yeah, i’ll join you.  we can take minjung out for a late lunch after.”

“i think she’d enjoy that.”

“yeah, i think so.”

~

eunsook lays on the sofa, her head on minho’s thigh & her empty hand entangled with his.  they each hold a tablet that they intermittently swipe with their thumbs.  she is reading a novel gwiboon has recommended & he is watching a football match, the cord of a pair of ear buds tangling down his chest.  it is quiet & cool, a nice reprieve from the heat of late may.  it doesn’t occur to either of them how special a day it is, how far they’ve come in so little time.  it has been only nine months since they were wed & here they sit in the quiet, together, holding hands.

~

eunsook stands in the sand in her slip-ons, an emerald green bathing suit covered by a pale green long-sleeved crotched coverlet, though her legs are bare.  the suit is a modest one-piece with a little band around the thighs to give the illusion of a miniskirt, ribbed material to keep it from being too form-fitting; a bit like the one she has seen marilyn monroe wear in a print.  a tote bag hangs from her fingers with a tablet, sunscreen, a mini fan, a water bottle, & some snacks tucked inside.  the lake is already filled with the other guests, a slightly imbalanced group of about nine scattered around the shore or bobbing in the water, the girls in bikinis & the men in loose board shorts.  she shifts in the sand, very aware of how different her appearance is compared with the others.

gwiboon waves from where she floats near the dock & an ebony head of hair turns to look up at eunsook, taemin giving a little wave of his own.  that puts her a bit at ease & she smiles as she waves back thinking that her cousin has never looked as happy as she has the last few months. 

“sook”.  minho comes up behind her, walking just past & driving a giant umbrella into the sand.  “is this good?”

“it’s enormous.”

“that’s what she said.”

“you’ve been spending too much time with my cousin.”  gwiboon appears before them, hair damp & body glistening with lake water, a hot pink bikini clinging to her frame & taemin’s hand at her waist.

“no such thing.”  eunsook blushes as minho rolls out an enormous beach towel beneath the umbrella.

“thanks.”  she settles onto the towel, thick & soft beneath her, & accepts minho’s shirt when he pulls it off, tucking it into the tote bag.  he leans in for a kiss that she happily offers, kneeling down & letting her spread the sunscreen she warms with her hands over his chest & back, down his arms & hands.  he links their fingers together & leans in for another kiss, eliciting gagging noises from gwiboon & taemin who are too old for such a response & too obnoxious to care.

“do you need anything else?”

“no.  go.  have fun.”  a kiss to her hair & then he’s walking away towards the water with gwiboon & taemin in tow.

sunscreen already protects her skin from the blazing sun, too embarrassed to wait until she was in front of the group to apply it.  besides, she won’t need much while she hides beneath her umbrella & stays out of the sun.  the tablet is tugged out of her bag as she lies down on her side & begins to read.

minho high-fives jonghyun when he reaches the water’s edge, greeting their other friends scattered along the beach.  jieun sits next to jonghyun while amber & sunyoung splash each other in the lake water.  gwiboon now has her arms around taemin’s neck & they’re shoulder deep in the lake & in their own world.  changmin & junmyeon are setting up a net in the water while kyuhyun sits in a plastic folding chair inflating a giant beach ball.  minho’s toes dig in the sand as he walks over to ask if he can help.  kyuhyun gives him a silent shake of his head & changmin asks if he & eunsook want to play.

“jieun’s going to sit it out & you know kyuhyun’s not going to join us.  that just leaves you, eunsook, & jonghyun.  oh, wait.”  minho turns to look at what changmin is pointing to, frowning when he sees jonghyun sitting down next to his wife.  “i guess he’s going to go ask for us.”  changmin turns back to the net & minho watches as eunsook & jonghyun talk & laugh.  they’re too far away for him to catch any of their conversation but it’s clear that whatever the topic is is of great interest to both of them.  eunsook’s hand is waving through the air & jonghyun is watching her entranced.  minho has seen that look on his friend’s face before & his stomach clenches to think of the implications they hold now.  he grits his teeth before following after his friend. 

minho trudges up through the sand, a burst of laughter ringing through the air just as he reaches the foot of eunsook’s towel.

“hey.”

 “hey,” she replies, raising a hand to brace her eyes against the sun at his back.  he moves forward & squats down, moving himself into her shade.

“they’re going to play some volleyball.  you want to be on my team?”  her eyes light up & she tucks the tablet in her hands back into the tote bag.  palms smooth out her coverlet as she stands up & smiles at jonghyun.

“you want to come?”  minho’s jaw clenches for just a moment as jonghyun stands as well, brushing the sand off his shorts.

“maybe.  i should go see if jieun would like to join.”  minho doesn’t tell him what changmin said, watching him take off down the beach until eunsook slips her hand in his.  he leads them towards the shore, startled when she abruptly stops & the hand in his grips painfully tight.

“what is it?”

“they’re playing it in the water?”

“yeah.  doesn’t it look fun?”  he watches her take a deep breath & the hold on his hand actually tightens.  “what’s wrong?”

“i can’t swim,” she says in a small voice.

“oh.  i mean...that’s not really a problem.  it’s not that deep.  i’ll have you on my shoulders & i promise i won’t let you fall.”  she still doesn’t move, staring at the lake.  he squeezes her hand & moves in front of her, putting himself between her & the water & meeting her eyes.  “we don’t have to join them.  we can go for a walk or go lie back down on the towel.  or go to the cabin.”  the last suggestion he says with a wiggle of his eyebrows & she smiles, albeit nervously.

“do you promise not to let me fall?”

“i solemnly vow.”  she swallows & takes another deep breath.

“ok.”

in the end they are victorious, eunsook’s timid punches growing progressively aggressive as the match wears on.  minho knows how competitive she really is but the others, with the exception of gwiboon, clearly have no idea & he laughs as he watches the surprise on their faces.  they are also the only ones who stay dry through the match, others tripping over sand or rocks as they try to block the beach ball that eunsook thumps across the net.

his hands on her thighs, he walks them out of the water & kneels down on the sand, bending over so that she can step off of his shoulders.  they join hands & start following the others up the small hill to the deck & the scent of cooking meat.  jonghyun hadn’t joined the game, opting instead to sit with jieun on the shore & root the other couples on.  they sit together now on a bench in the shade as kyuhyun begins serving the hamburgers & hot dogs he has been bar-be-cuing while the others played in the lake.  jieun sips on a soda while jonghyun eats his burger & minho feels a little bad for thinking his friend had any intentions on eunsook.

a pair of plates are grabbed & they begin filling up with hamburgers & salad, potato chips & fresh fruit.  she follows him to one of the umbrella-covered tables near the railing of the deck.

“i’m going to go grab a soda.  do you want anything?”

“if they have any iced tea that’s what i’d like.  otherwise just water.”  he nods & then moves away, maneuvering through the small crowd of wet friends in bathing suits.  eunsook pokes at her food while she waits, not comfortable enough to eat by herself.  the sound of gwiboon laughing has her looking around & finding her cousin with taemin in line where they’re feeding each other little bites.  taemin’s hand rests around gwiboon’s waist & he plops his head on her shoulder while she scoops out some potato salad, closing his eyes when she turns to kiss his forehead.

they come over to her table, taemin carrying both plates that he puts down before pulling out gwiboon’s chair.

“he does that,” she says with a faux frown, “even though he knows i can do it myself.”

“i like to watch your & this gives me a few extra seconds of prime viewing.”  gwiboon’s eyes bulge as eunsook bursts out laughing & she watches her cousin punch her boyfriend’s arm.

“i can’t believe you said that.  you’re supposed to be a good catholic boy.”

“& as such i must tell the truth.”  he leans over with pursed lips & she rolls her eyes before giving him a quick peck.  minho joins them then, sitting down & handing eunsook a cold can.

“is this what we do now?  kisses instead of grace?”  he winks at taemin who gives him a thumbs up. 

a bonfire is set up on the beach & eunsook grabs her shawl from their room.  it is incredibly hot & humid, the air pressing down on them all, but she still wants the feeling of being wrapped up while she holds her stick with its marshmallow in the flames.  minho sits beside her, bumping her shoulder from time to time with his movements.  she bumps him back hard enough to knock him off the bench & he laughs when she drops her stick with its half-cooked marshmallow to help him back up.

the sky begins to sparkle with stars glistening through heavy clouds & a full moon that lights up the beach.  one by one they all head back to their respective cabins, bidding each other a fond good night.

eunsook & minho are the last to leave.  they hold hands & her head rests on his shoulder while they listen to the waves & watch the night sky.  he finally convinces her to head back in when even in the heat he begins to feel a chill.  the hand he offers as he stands is accepted & their fingers are linked as they make their way.

it’s a tiny cabin with just a bed & a set of windows, a door that locks & a floor that might splinter their feet if they’re not careful.  the sheet from the bed has been lain over their bags & they’re both lying on their sides as they make out in the hot room. 

“i think jonghyun has a crush on you.”  eunsook smiles & kisses his lips.

“do you have a crush on me?” she asks with a waggle of her eyebrows.

“i just told you my best friend has the hots for you & that’s your response?”

“first of all you said ‘crush’,” she says kissing his lips again.  “second of all it’s jonghyun; who doesn’t he have a crush on?”  she kisses his jaw & he lets out a soft sigh.  “third of all,” he moans as she begins at the juncture between his neck & his shoulder, “he’s not the one i want crushing on me.”  minho moves his hands up & rubs them over her .

“yeah, i got a crush on you.  do you have a crush on me?”

“maybe a little,” she murmurs into his collarbone.  “mostly i just want you around for your body.”  he snorts & then groans as she a into .

minho pulls away long enough to kiss at her shoulder & whisper in her ear & she giggles at his suggestion. 

“the others will hear.”

“not if we’re quiet.”

“that’s not really our strong suit though, is it?”  minho laughs, his hands rubbing up & down eunsook’s waist.  he slips his hands behind her back & pulls her close, kissing at her clavicle & moving up her neck.

“it would be worth a try,” he murmurs into the sensitive skin, nipping at her jaw.  she rolls her eyes & moves her arms from his shoulders up around his neck.

“is that a challenge?”

“it might be.”

“i like challenges.”

“i know.”  his hands brush up & down her spine, one hand moving over her hip & massaging her thigh.  she sighs into his mouth, shifting in his hold & at his lips.  they lose themselves to the sensations of gentle kisses & warm palms, fingers that curl into his hair.  it is soft & sensual & everything right in the moment.  she leans forward forcing him to roll onto his back.  her hands brace on the bed over his shoulders as she begins moving down, kissing at his chest & abdomen until she reaches his waist & blows a raspberry against his navel.  he laughs as she blows another, his fingers in her hair.  taking his in her hand she up from the base before taking it in & massages beneath with her fingers.  the sounds are obscenely loud & wet in the small cabin & moans begin to tumble from his lips.  once she begins humming he sits up & pushes her away gently, grasping her face & drawing everything she has just done into his own mouth.  he shifts them around so that she is on her back & her legs are spread with him in-between.

their lips break away as he moves down to nip at her jaw with one hand massaging her s & a into his mouth, little kisses dropping as he makes his way back down.  he kisses at her inner thigh before into her folds.  the moans are breathy from & it’s not long before her fingers are running through his hair & she’s begging, “now.  please.”  the thigh he’d pressed his lips to before is kissed again & he himself a few times before climbing onto his knees.  the he’d tucked beneath his pillow just for such an occasion as this is pulled out & she laughs & punches him lightly on the chest, pulling him down & nibbling at his lip.  the is rolled on & then he’s guiding himself into her, pressing his hands beside her ribs & leaning down to take her lips into his mouth. 

the bed is sturdy & makes little noise as their bodies move in tandem.  a steady pace is kept that wouldn’t have been so modest if they were at home & assured of privacy.  as it is, they are already worked up with all the tension of trying to keep quiet.  “oh god, oh god, oh god” is her whispered refrain.  eunsook has him move so that she is on her knees, face pressing into a pillow to muffle her moans, his lips against her shoulder to stifle his groans.  the knees beneath her shake as she cums & he holds her by the waist to keep her upright as he continues to through his own .  he lays her down gently & she rolls over so they are facing each other, running a hand over his sweaty brow & pushing back the little strands that stick to his forehead.

“i think we did pretty well,” she whispers, grinning.

“yeah, not bad.”  a hand is placed at his shoulder that slips down his arm & he takes it in his own lacing their fingers together.  they fall asleep, his arm across a pillow & her head resting on the crook of her elbow, still holding hands.

he wakes to her clinging to him, shaking.  her fingers dig into his bicep & her face is pressed against his chest & he can feel the tears that have already begun to fall.  he is about to ask what’s wrong when the room lights up & a deafening roar of thunder rings through the air.  he shifts & wraps his arms tightly around her body, bringing her close & kissing her forehead.

the next time he wakes he is alone & the pillow she had been resting on is cool to the touch.  he jumps up & slips hastily into his shorts & sandals, bursting out the cabin door without bothering with a shirt.  the humidity of the previous day has waned to a damp & chilly morning & he shivers a little.  he scans the edge of the lake & checks the deck with the tables & chairs, surprising sunyeon & amber who are laughing over early cups of coffee.

“morning,” amber says, her hand playing with sunyeon’s fingers.

“hey.  have you seen eunsook?”

“you lost your wife?” sunyeon asks with a smile.

“maybe,” he replies distractedly, looking over his shoulder to the path that leads into the woods.  “let her know i’m looking for her if you see her, ‘kay?”

“yeah, sure.”  halfway down the path he spots her, red shawl bright against all the green as she emerges from the woods.

“hey!” she says in surprise, “are you ok?”

“yeah i just...” he keeps moving toward her, grabbing her hand & kissing the back of it before lacing her fingers through his own, not sure why he was so nervous to find her gone.  “i didn’t know where you were.”

“oh!  i left you a note.  i guess you didn’t see it.”

“no i didn’t.”  they move up the path together, their palms warm in the chill.  “where did you go?”

“just exploring.  woke up earlier than i expected & didn’t want to wake you on your vacation.”

“always wake me up.  for anything.”

“anything?”

“anything.”

“so if i decide to clean the bathroom at six in the morning...”

“then you better make it worth my while at 6:45.”  laughing, she punches his arm, leaning her head against his shoulder as they make it to the front of the main cabin.  they go into the kitchen & pour themselves a couple cups of coffee before stepping out onto the patio where amber & sunyeon still sit.

“you found her.”

“yes,” he says, his hand at eunsook’s back as she sits down in one of the chairs beside the couple.

they chat for a bit, little things of insignificance that friends discuss when they’re happy & relaxed.  the others start filing out slowly & soon enough the smell of breakfast begins wafting through the air from the kitchen where kyuhyun has begun preparing a hot meal for the group.  eunsook has a bowl of oatmeal while minho has a plate of eggs & they laugh as they eat & chat with their friends.

gwiboon & taemin are the last to join them, their lips a bit too puffy for the early morning & an unmistakable grin on taemin’s face that he doesn’t bother to hide.  gwiboon sits with her legs on taemin’s lap while she eats & he rubs his hands up & down her shins while he watches.  it is good, eunsook thinks, to see her cousin so happy & content.

after breakfast the group starts packing up & by noon they have all dispersed.  eunsook rides with her feet on the dash & her hand on minho’s thigh as he drives them back to their own little cabin by the lake.

~

“so what is our anniversary?” eunsook asks as she loads the dishwasher.  “the day we signed the contract for the annulment or the day we signed the contract for marriage?”

“that is an excellent question,” minho replies, putting away the little bit of food left over from their supper.

“i mean we’ll have to have a party for the marriage contract, won’t we?  some kind of celebration.”

“even if we don’t i’m sure gwiboon or dad will put something together.”

“i just...it would be kind of fun to do something frivolous on our contract day.  go to an arcade or something.”

“an arcade?”

“i don’t know.  something silly.”

“that actually sounds fun.  noisy but fun.”

“chuck e. cheese.”

“are you serious?”

“maybe not.”

“there’s this one arcade that has a bowling alley, bumper cars, & a climbing wall.”

“and you know this how?”

“spoilers.”

“ok that was definitely ‘dr. who.’”

“maybe.”

~

eunsook stands at the edge of the graveyard uncertain what to do.  she usually tends mrs. choi’s grave by herself, knowing that mr. choi would have minho at his side & not wanting to intrude on the family reunion.  but she is family now, in a way, yet she still feels like an imposter; a woman playing house for a time.  the lilies crinkle in their plastic wrapping & she’s embarrassed that it hadn’t occurred to her to speak with minho before they each left that morning, & curious as to why his father isn’t there with him.

as he begins to stand she freezes, wanting to hide but unable to move & he’s nearly upon her before he notices her presence, his face warming in surprise.  he glances at the flowers in her hand & looks back up, frowning in confusion.

“what are those?”

“lilies.”

“for whom?”

“for your mother.”  the confusion on his face deepens & then there’s the sudden mark of clarity.

“you’re the one.”  the tone of his voice is a sort of awe & she can feel herself begin to shrink in response.

“the one what?”

“you bring her flowers on her birthday.”  eunsook hesitates & then nods.

“yes.”  he smiles at that, softly.  “i remember she liked lilies.  your dad brought them to her a lot.”  the smile pauses & his eyes widen in surprise.

“you remember her?”

“yes.  she was always very kind to me & she had a beautiful voice.  she sang to us a lot.  it was the only way to make you behave.”  eunsook chuckles at the memory, looking down at the ground & twisting her foot into the grass. 

“what do you mean?”

“you wouldn’t nap if i was still up & you wouldn’t leave me alone if she laid us down together,” she says before looking back up.  “so she’d rock me & you’d watch from your bed.”  minho is nodding & he leans in excitedly as he asks if she remembers anything else.  eunsook blinks, surprised at the intensity with which he makes his request.

“yes.”

“would you mind telling me?”  her eyes soften & she steps forward, pressing a hand to his cheek.

“of course i will.”

~

they sit on an ornate bench in the quiet yard surrounded by marble headstones & flat cement etched with the names & dates of those long gone & some who have only recently passed.  eunsook’s lilies rest above the name of minho’s mother & they face each other as they talk.

“i was only three when she died,” he starts.  “i don’t remember much.”  eunsook reaches out & places her palm over the back of his hand.

“i’ll try to fill in the pieces as best i can.”

“my dad doesn’t talk about her much & minjung speaks of her as though she’s still here.  but they remember her as their wife & their daughter; neither of them know what she was like as a mom.”

“she was a good mom.”

“you think so?”

“she was always very nice to me.”

“did she bake cookies?”  eunsook laughs.

“no.  at least not with me.  mostly she read us books & sang us songs.  took us on walks & to the park.”

“that’s nice.”

“she’s the reason you called me ‘key’ when we were little, i think.  well, everyone called me ‘sookie’ but she was the one we were together with the most & she never corrected you.”

“i can’t believe i forgot your real name.”  eunsook shrugs & looks away, uncomfortable at the reminder.  minho catches his mistake & quickly changes the topic.

“what’s your favorite memory of her?”  eunsook’s face softens as she turns back, thinking on the question. 

“i think i was about four so you were two.  not in a stroller though, we were both holding her hands.  she took us to a bakery & we split a lemon cupcake.  it was a quiet day, spring maybe, & then she took us to the park.  you were in the little swing with the holes for legs & she let me push you.  then we went back to your house & she read to me on the sofa while you laid on the floor wrapped in a blanket.”  she laughs.  “that’s actually kind of weird, now that i think about it.  but she was always telling you that you had to lie still & be quiet so that ‘sookie can hear’.  i honestly thought there was something wrong with my hearing because of that, that i needed complete silence to read.  but i realized later that she was just trying to get you to nap.”  she shrugs.  “i know it doesn’t sound special.  but it was just such a nice, calm day.  & it’s not like my home life was hectic or anything.  this just...it was just a nice day.  maybe it’s because it’s one of the clearest memories.  everything else is just moments that don’t really meld together, though there are enough consistencies to make a tentative picture.  but this was a day where they all blend together into one cohesive memory.  so yeah.  she was really nice.  i loved her.”

minho’s not sure when he stops hearing what she is saying & starts just watching her say it.  the way her eyes light up & her cheeks blush when she speaks of his mother, so happy just talking about her.  eunsook is another tether to a past he has little recollection of & he’s only now grasping the depth of that connection.  he wants to kiss her & thank her for saying ‘yes’ to so many things so many times because they have all brought them to this cool afternoon where he gets to sit with a pretty girl & listen to her talk about his mom.

he takes the memories & her hand & she’s still telling him stories as they drive home.

a week later they visit with his father to celebrate father’s day & he watches the two of them exchange stories about the mother he barely remembers.  the picture he has in his head is slowly growing through their memories, a tapestry of colors slowly growing brighter.  the water is cool as he swallows & his heart is warm as he listens.

~

the park is full of families & couples & groups wandering around with arms full of candy & prizes.  a few have henna tattoos & many of the children’s faces are painted with stars & rainbows & animal prints.  they hold hands as they wander around in the cooling night, sampling frozen bananas dipped in chocolate & chopped nuts, laughing as they take turns taking bites of the treat.  they ride the ferris wheel together, irritating the attendant & their fellow passengers by swinging their seat a little more than is safe.  eunsook slips her arms around minho’s & leans on his shoulder when their seat stops at the top of the wheel & they can see over the park & a little bit of the city.

the sun is setting & they are sat beneath a tree at the edge of the pavilion.  eunsook rests against minho’s chest between his legs with his arms around her waist & their fingers linked.  the first set of fireworks are magnificent but it slowly turns into a dizzying display of blinding lights & thundering pops punctuated with painful silence.  they stay anyway because they have nowhere else to be.  it is warm, they are comfortable, & when the fireworks do burn hot in the sky it always seems to be worth it.

the night has arrived & the sky is black when the show finally ends.  they stand & shake out their tired limbs, eunsook laughing as minho does a silly little dance.  he wraps his arm around her shoulders & they walk back to their parked car that now seems much farther away without the brightness of the sun to guide them.  they ride home with the windows down & eunsook’s bare feet on the dash, her hand falling occasionally to minho’s thigh. 

they climb the stairs to minho’s room & eunsook takes off her bra & her pants & minho takes off his pants & his shirt.  they lay down on opposite sides of the bed, moving toward the center where eunsook nestles underneath minho’s arm & rests her hand on his chest.  he knows that she will roll away soon & burrow beneath the sheet that he still covers them with with in the summer air.  but for now it is nice just to have her there & to listen to her breaths even out as she slowly falls asleep beside him. 

~

their anniversary party is in full swing & eunsook chuckles when she feels the warm pressure of minho’s head on her shoulder & his soft locks brushing against her cheek.  she reaches back & pats him on the hip.

“someone’s tired.”

“we’ve been here for hours.”

“thirty-three minutes left.”  he chuckles & stands up.

“are you serious?”

“i have an alarm on my phone.”  he snorts.

“isn’t your phone in your bag?”

“absolutely not,” she says, patting just under her arm beneath the loose tunic.

“my wife is incredibly clever.”

“and hot,” gwiboon says as she passes.  eunsook rolls her eyes & looks up at minho who is watching her with a startlingly soft gaze, winking when he catches her eye.

“definitely that too.”

~

“you’re taking us to a cabin in the woods for our anniversary?  you realize that we already live in a cabin in the woods.”

“this is different.”

“how is it different?”

“well for starters there’s no cell phone reception.  secondly, there’s no electricity.  thirdly, we’d be at least thirty miles from the nearest anything.”

“anything else on that list?”

“yeah.  you’ll be all mine.”

“i’m always all yours.”

“no.  i have to share you with people when we’re here.”

“who?  gwiboon?”

“yes,” he replies, not quite lying.

~

the cabin minho rents is warm in the late morning sun & they’re on the couch in the den kissing.  eunsook has her legs tucked beneath her knees & minho’s face in her hands, her fingers carding lazily through his hair.  he sits leaned back against the sofa, one hand resting on her hip & the other at his side.  it might be the beginning of something, it might be the threshold of their day; there’s no knowing now & there’s no rush to find out.  but in the middle of the quiet there is a click in minho’s chest that is as disorienting as it is exciting.  he knows the feeling; he’s felt it before though it’s been years.  it’s richer now in the way that everything is with age, a depth filled with knowledge that life brings whether a person wants to know or not.  it’s unexpected & unbidden & he’s torn between pushing eunsook away & drawing her nearer. 

he compromises & leans back, lifting his empty hand to her face & brushing her hair away with his thumb & a smile.  she takes a hand & presses it to the back of his, turning to kiss his wrist.  it’s the blush when she turns back, the look of surprise she tries to hide on her face that makes everything better, that makes him think that maybe he’s not alone in this whirlwind of emotions.

they stand together in the eye of a storm surrounded by promise & the most terrifying part of it all is how helpless minho feels.  the last time he was buoyed by the optimism of youth but now he is wiser, or at best further down the chronological scale, & he’s left unsettled by what a declaration could mean: especially given their circumstances.

he blinks away the doubt & leans up & kisses eunsook again, soft & languid, relishing in her taste & her warmth.  he wants to say more.  he wants to whisper into her ear & scribble notes to watch her face as she reads his words.  but his confidence is waned & it seems wiser to wait until a more stable moment to tell his wife that he is in love with her.