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Thinking Out Loud (EXO fanfiction)

 The library was silent and filled with the smell of old books, sweat and desperation, coming from all those students, cramming for their exams. We were at the end of the semester, and the weather in Oxford was really nice. Exams were just around the corner, and I was in that lucky position, where I had all my essays written, material learnt and plans made to study some more until finals, preferably in the library, where there were no annoying flatmates, in the form of an ever so lovely Byun Baek Hyun, whose only purpose in life was composing music, all day long in the living-room, half and living off of caffeine and his own desperation to get done all his course work and prepare for the exams. I needed time away from him, because no matter how much I loved him, it just drove me crazy to watch him struggle with composition and stuff, but would never for the love of god would he let me help at least with his university projects.

  So, I took to my favorite place on the campus, the great library of Oxford, to take notes and prepare for my English seminar, where I was supposed to present a book of choice from a contemporary writer. I chose Neil Gaiman's novel, 'Good Omens', which was one of my all time favourites, and every chance I got to promote it, I made sure to fulfill my duties as his number one fan. Of course, the professor suggested some Asian authors, just in case I found it easier to read in my mother tongue, which was Korean. I moved to England when I was accepted to Oxford, where I majored in Literature, wanting to become a teacher someday back in Seoul. I was lucky enough to move together with my best friend since junior high, Baek Hyun, who majored in Law with a minor in Music Composition and Song Writing. Here we met a bunch of other Korean students, when we joined the Foreigners' Club, so our duo quickly became a whole gang of colorful and fun peoples. I enjoyed hanging out with them, even if my mother freaked out when I mentioned, that only two girls are in the group, me and another one, Suzy.

  I was actually with Joon Myeon – who was most of the time called Suho – in the library, but he was as silent as a mouse, engrossed in his essay as well, earphones plugged in and listening to his indie music, hardly paying any attention to the world. He was obviously part of our gang, the mother-hen of it, him being the always responsible, serous one of us, taking care of the younger ones, bringing food for us when we had a study-sleepover at the apartment we rented with Baek, since it had a decent size, with a large living-room area, where all nine of us could sit comfortably. But now the case was different with only Suho accompanying me. I looked at him from where I was standing, and admired his model like face with soft jaw line, round cheeks and eyelashes so long, they painted lines on his fair skin. His plump lips moved as he read out the words silently, and I liked this habit of his, because sometimes, when he was camping at our apartment and studied, he let me sit next to him and listen to what he was reading. Sometimes they were notes taken in classes, other times, it was a new novel he found in the small, fantasy section of a library on the other end of the town, and other times, he read his poems after he finished one.

  Suho majored in Literature as well, but his dream was to become a writer, or a literary agent. He was so talented and had so much passion for what he was doing, I could only admire him. And that was, how far my admiration could go, because of his girlfriend, Sofia, who was a real , blocking everything possibly harmful to Suho, namely girls getting too close to him. I can't even imagine, how I got away with hanging out with him for so long, but she mustn't consider me a possible danger to their relationship. She was actually right, because I had no intention in becoming a home wrecker, when I saw how happy Suho was whenever she appeared.

  I was about to reach for a book on a higher shelf, when I noticed him for the first time. He was standing next to a big shelf, back pressed to the matt brown wood, so nonchalantly, it almost seemed cool. He wore a big, black hoodie with some print on the front, and black jeans, ripped at the knees. He wore a snap-back too, hair tucked under it neatly, and lucky for me, I was able to study his refined features, at least that was until I noticed his ear sticking out in the cutest way possible, attracting all my attention. I couldn't hide a smile, and in honesty, I didn't wanted to, because I found it adorable, almost like Yoda.

"Who are we stalking?" asked Suho, scaring the living hell out of me with his sneakiness.

"Jesus, Suho, don't ever do this!" I warned him after a moment of recollection, but I was too late, he was already checking out the guy.

"He will be teaching here from next semester. 14th century literature, I think," he remarked with plain face, as if he was a weather forecaster in the middle of prezenting next week's humidity predictions. 

"What?! He is a professor?" I asked in disbelief.

"Well, for the moment, he is working on his master's degree, but from next year he will be a PHD candidate, and also taking on teaching, because it is obligatory for candidates in order to achieve their final degree.."

"And, do you know him?" I asked instead, because I was least interested in his academic achievements. 

"As a matter of fact, I do know him. Park Chan Yeol, president of the SC and if my information is correct, he also works here, at the library every summer."

"I guess you really know every person on this campus," I grinning, really thankful for the information he provided me with. Honestly, sometimes it felt like Suho operated as a walking encyclopedia full of unnecessary knowledge. 

"Only on the faculty, but he was pretty hard to miss with how all over the place he is."

"I have never met him," I said in disbelief, and turned back to look at the guy, who disappeared by then.

"Yes you did, but you don't remember him, because you were high. He was your first one night stand, after you and our pretty Baek Hyunie got here. It was at the freshmen party we dragged you to... It was great up until the point Jong Dae gave you a joint, and I think your mind went blank, because the next time we saw you, it was around five in the morning, wearing the guy's shirt and sporting the worst bed head ever. I think Sehun has pictures somewhere..." His face turned a pretty pink from the held back laughter, but I felt betrayed and a bit cheated as well, because it was more than a year ago, and nobody bothered to tell me.

"And you waited this long to tell me, because?" I asked, looking at my friend with an annoyed frown.

"Because it seemed irrelevant to remind you about something you might not even want to remember."

"I bet Sehun and Jong Dae are still having the time of their lives when they look at the pictures..." I huffed, still ready to punch somebody, because this was so unfair.

"Maybe..."

"I think, the best thing to do now, is to pretend this conversation and the things leading to it, never happened and continue studying. What do you think? Maybe, later I will have a pleasant chat with the lots of you and take care of the pictures, since you left me with no other option." It took me everything to build up the facade of calmness, and try not to call my so called friends immediately to organize a massacre. 

"Hye Lin, there is nothing to be upset about. It was more than a year ago, and the guy probably was just as stoned or drunk as you were. I doubt he misses his shirt anyways...." said Suho with a small shrug.

"I took his shirt?" I asked, eyes shot open and chin hitting the floor, because i couldn't remember which was the hoodie I supposedly took.

"I just told you, we saw you wearing his shirt. It should have been pretty obvious."

"Well, it wasn't, and now I need to know, what happened to that shirt."

"You are wearing it almost every week. It is the hoodie with the "hoodie" print on the chest and whatever long text on the back." Suho explained and I could see on his face, he was done with the topic, but I had a few more questions before he could get away from me.

"The one you convinced me was a gift from Baek, right?"

"You asked, why were you wearing it, and we had to say something. Nobody thought you would actually believe it."

"But, that is my favourite... Am I supposed to give it back to him now?" I asked with a sad pout.

"I think he doesn't really miss that ugly sack, you call a shirt."

"It is not ugly!" I mouthed angrily, and slid past him to walk back to our table.

  This afternoon proved to be the strangest of them all, because this revelation was so sudden, I couldn't get it out of my head, not even Neil Gaiman was able to do so, and it bugged me too much. I was also planning the mass murder involving my friends as victims, because they hid the fact from me that I hooked up with somebody on my first college party. I didn't remember it, because the only memory I possessed from that night is actually from the morning after, when I was lying on my bed, my head was pounding like crazy and the world was a spinning blur. I was wearing the above mentioned hoodie, and when I asked the guys later that day, they said Baek gave it to me, because I started stripping in the kitchen. I should have figured, it wasn't his shirt, because it was too big, and I was practically swimming in it. Nonetheless, I fell in love with it, and wore it every opportunity I had, because of this exact same reason. It was the comfiest piece of clothing I owned, and giving it back frightened me a little, so I decided to never put it on while I was on campus. 

A/N: So, this is the first episode, probably the shortest of them all, and still needs some editing, but I like it this way. I hope you loved it! Next episode comes as soon as I finish editing it! Lots of love! B.

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