How I feel

Jungkook:

The attitude of Jimin towards me has been a drastic change ever since the day we reunited, which was two days ago.

How he treated me somehow makes me start questioning, are these all real? Are these happening all because I’m about to reach the end of my life? Am I actually dreaming?

If it is, I would never want to wake up.

Six months ago, I left him. And that is when I wanted to move on, wanted to forget him but anyhow I did not.

To me, Jimin is just someone so special, not to mention his looks but also his personality, hard on the outside but fragile as glass on the inside.

Every single thing about him has already surpasses the perfection, making me want to own him, to love him with all of my heart.

“can you tell me exactly how you feel, Jungkook?”

I love you so much Jimin, just so much that I think I’m gonna feel suffocate from it, unable to breathe through the love and the strong feelings I’m having for you.

I didn’t confess, words just seemed to have stuck beneath the lump in my throat, stopping me to continue.

I want to show you that you have not been loved before, I want you to feel, with one kiss, how I can make love to your soul for eternity.

He stared at me, patiently as if he wanted to hear the words slipping out from tongue and flow into his ears as if they were some sort of melody.

But I didn’t.

What’s exactly holding you back, Jeon Jungkook?

Is that I’m just merely afraid of feeling love, or giving love again and the next moment they would all shatter into pieces like they will never be fixed again.

“Kookie?” you voice, the angelic voice of yours.

It pains me, it hurts me inside and out. Hear you calling my name, knowing that you love me, but somehow the fact that being together was too far away from us, like story in the fairy tale in that will never happened.

Happy endings will only exist in my dream, the dream that I never want to end.

I’m stuck in between wanted to be loved but at the same time not wanting to feel the love from him.

His love might be unconditional, intense, unexplainable – everything.

I wanted to feel it so bad, so bad that its killing me.

You are showing me continuously these few days, I feel it.

I want it more, dying to have them all by myself.

But Jimin, will you really promise me that you will love me? And only me?

And there, he called me again, “Jungkook?”

“y-yeah?” I blinked my eyes as I looked at him.

“are you alright?”

“I-I’m fine, hyung.”

“you don’t look okay, is there anything bothering you?” no, Jimin no. I’m bothering myself.

“nothing bothered me, I think I’m just plainly tired…” I lied.

“then do you want to go home now?” Jimin asked caringly as he lowered his head to meet my eyes.

As much as I wanted to stay a little l