-Hoseok’s POV-

“None of you should be sorry.” Namjoon looked at Yoongi as he spoke. Why would he do something like this? “I should be the sorry one, my actions nearly got four of us killed just moments ago. Jungkook and Tae wouldn’t just live like that, losing five friends within two weeks. Just, leave me alone. I don’t want to hurt anyone else.”

“Yoongi! Wait!” I yelled whilst running to him to talk about what just happened.

“Go away.” He spoke coldly. As cold as ice. But I wouldn’t leave him, not after what he’s gone through. He’s been through so much more than the eye can see. That’s when he said ‘Go away’ we walked off. Not this time.

“Yoongi, ‘go away’ is just a saying. When people say ‘go away’ they actually mean do you really care enough to stay? And I’m here to tell you that I do, Yoongi, I care so much for you. We all do! And that’s what I think you don’t realize, we love you so much. We won’t forget you, Jin won’t forget you, no one will forget you. The only person forgetting you is you, think about how much we care, how much we really do love you. I’ll never leave you. I promise.” I hadn’t realized how much I was crying by now, how he was right in front of me, how he was crying as well.

“Hoseok, I don’t want to hurt you guys. Look what I just put you through! Do you not get that I wanna’ keep you guys safe?! I can barely keep myself safe. I’m psychotic.” His words hurt me. Like knives being spun into your chest, with no mercy. I hugged him, surprisingly he hugged back.

“No. You’re not psychotic, you’re just confused. Confused about everything that’s been happening. Would Jin be happy if he could hear your words?”

“He can. He can hear me, but it’s not like he can do anything, Hoseok, he’s dead.”

“That doesn’t mean anything. He can still care, he can still feel how much you are in pain when he’s not physically around you. He still loves you and you still love him, I would most definitely hope.” I put my hand on his shoulder and pushed him back slowly. He’s not a very emotional person, but he was crying. I felt terrible, Jin was a big part of his life especially. When Yoongi was found by Jin, he was on the side of the road playing with rocks and a stick in the dirt. Yoongi had been only 13 at the time, Jin being 14. He was tossed around from foster home to foster home, and before that his family would toss him around to other relatives as well. Yoongi never really liked, people, in general, so he wouldn’t talk, eat, sleep, drink, anything really. All until Jin introduced him to us, Yoongi was now 15, I think the first time I saw him ever show a real smile was when I told him that he rapped like a star. Of course I caught him rapping on accident, but it was great, he also raps really fast. He’s actually the reason Namjoon &

I took interest in rapping. When Yoongi turned 18 it all changed. His music began to change into a depth of darkness, a trench of sadness filled in his life just overtook him. He made one song that really stood out to me, labeled The Last. It talked about his social anxiety, his hatred for people around him. He even talked about his parents, how they say they don’t even know him. And I’m guessing his therapy wasn’t the best either, he would scream and throw stuff around the room until one of us came in and calmed him down by telling him memories of us. I’m glad he’s better now, even if not fully cured, he’s still my friend, my brother. I can’t let that go, not now and not ever!

“I do. I do love him, I miss him too, Hoseok. You have no idea how much I miss him. Every night and every morning I go into his room and touch where he slept. I cry everyday without you guys knowing. I just want it to stop, I don’t want to cry because of him, I want to save my tears for when I need them. For the happy moments, tears of joy. For when I see him again.” Soon I had noticed I was also crying, a lot more than I thought I would.

“I miss him too, Yoongi. We all do, but that doesn’t mean you should go around and try to kill yourself. He wouldn’t like that, neither would I.” He and I chuckled a bit before sitting down on the ground. He laid his head on my shoulder and let out small breathes, soon enough he fell asleep.

‘ How does one person succeed on acting so tough when all that person is trying to do is stay calm? He’s such a good actor… why didn’t I notice sooner? How long has he been depressed? ‘