Shinae’s small hands rested lightly against Baekhyun’s throat. After they had finally reconciled over last night and this morning's debacle they both had decided it would be best for all of them if Shinae went back to the apartment for the day to recover. 

After her awful experience in Baekhyun’s pocket she had practically stomped her foot in protest of returning to the crinkled fabric prison. Plus, his heart beat too loudly there and anytime he spoke it vibrated the entire thing. She knew Baekhyun was large; she didn’t need more constant reminders of that after her body felt like it had been put through the shredder. So he had resigned to letting her rest against his neck and shoulder.

It was an oddly intimate position as well, one that she tried not to think too deeply about-it was fairly exposed too. She didn’t like being in his pocket but being out here only partially hidden by the fabric of his collar set her nerves on edge, not to mention being so high up, it made her question this decision. Every step he took made her balance sway, her fingers digging into his warm tanned skin. She had sat down at some point, her legs and feet dangling off his shoulder but her hands couldn’t relax. They looked like claws as they dug into his skin, but he didn’t seem to feel it at all. Otherwise, she guaranteed she’d be hearing him whine and complain about it. 

But that was just another reminder of how insignificant she was to Baekhyun. Try as she might to challenge it, she couldn’t deny that everything she did-he could barely feel. She had tried hitting him the other day and scratching at him, she hadn’t left even a mark or a bruise. And now with her nails digging into him, he couldn’t even feel that. She sighed as her body swayed with the motion of his steps. She really wished she had chosen to sit in his pocket instead, she was starting to feel ill being so high up.

“Since I last asked you, have you found anything out about returning to normal?” Baekhyun’s voice made her uncomfortable seat vibrate and her fingers curled tighter. 

“No, I haven’t really had much time if I’m being honest.” He nodded and she could feel the muscles in his neck contract and stretch with the movement. She shivered, still unable to get used to how much more she could feel at this size. 

“Ok, well, maybe you can try some more today while I’m out?” The conversation felt awkward and forced almost. Like when silence falls and the only thing someone can think to ask about is the weather and how you feel about it. Shinae’s stomach flipped and tightened. This was awkward. She didn’t know how to have a civil conversation with him and she assumed he felt the same way so this small talk was embarrassing to say the least.

“Uh, sure,” was her only response, and then another awkward, heavy silence fell between the two. 

“But do you have a laptop or something I could use? I don’t think I want to continue to mess with my phone if I don’t have to,” she trailed off, not wanting to add more to that statement. Every time she looked at her phone, she saw the screensaver of her laughing between her two best friends, and it made her miss them. 

“Uh, yeah, we have a joint laptop we all use. I can move it into my room for the time being so you can use it instead of your phone,” she was grateful he didn’t pry. Yes, there was a temporary truce between the two of them, but she wasn’t sure how long it would last, nor was she sure she wanted to talk to him about anything truly personal. 

Though now that she thought about it, she really would go stir crazy if she continued to be stuck in his room. Despite how horrible today went she at least got to feel the sun on her skin, the breeze flowing through her hair, and just in general being out and about with people even if they were alarmingly large. She missed it. Her heart twisted a little when a breeze brushed past her and with it brought along Baekhyun’s overwhelmingly warm scent. 

She swallowed hard and blinked, her stomach twinged as well. She was hungry and the hint of vanilla in his scent made water. 

“If you could get me a snack once we get there I would also appreciate that,” she felt her face heat up at the request. She knew she couldn’t get food for herself, and she knew she had to ask him for help with most things but finally saying something like it out loud while she rode on his shoulder made her feel like a helpless child. 

“Yeah, of course,” his voice rumbled.

“And…uh…I know you’re adamantly against me coming to school with you and today’s incident probably makes you more wary but I..I can’t continue to be trapped in your room.” She tensed in anticipation of him flat-out saying no to her. 

After all, what could she do if he said no? Sneak out and get herself crushed in the process? The thought sent a shiver down her spine, and she knew that was only one gruesome possibility as well. So she clung desperately to the silence her question left behind, in the hopes it was Baekhyun seriously considering letting her go with him.

“Shinae,” he sighed. 

“Baekhyun, please,” she cringed at how she pleaded. She didn’t want to beg but she didn’t know if she would survive being in his stuffy room for another day all alone with nothing to do but start at the floor. She didn’t want to start bargaining but she was about to when he interrupted her thoughts.

“I, I get it. I do. But after today, you could’ve died.” She felt his jaw set above her and she tilted her head to look up. His jawline was tense and she couldn’t see his face at all. She felt as though she could never see his face unless he chose to look at her directly and it was beginning to become unsettling. Though having his full attention also set her nerves on edge. 

“Yeah, but you didn’t know I was there with you that's the only reason why-”

“Others don’t know you’re there,” he interrupted her, stopping in his tracks. The momentum of this simple movement threw her forward and she nearly fell off. Her muscles screamed as she held onto him tightly, her bare feet sliding against his bare skin for traction with no luck. Baekhyun’s hand shot up and cupped her legs. She felt her panic settle slightly as his extra leverage helped her to get back up properly and sit back down.

“Shinae, you almost died because of my damn books. For all we know you could have a concussion or internal bleeding and I can’t even take you to a damn doctor to get looked at because you're not normal right now.” His words were sharp and to the point. A solid wall that she felt she wouldn’t be able to push again but she’d hate herself if she didn’t push a little harder.

“Baekhyun-”

“Not to mention if you had fallen just now I guarantee all your bones would’ve broken. Now let’s think about what would have happened if you had slipped out of my backpack, all those students who have no clue you are there on the ground. It would be a ing blood bath-” He was rambling at this point. His words were frenzied as he listed more and more possibilities of cruel and awful ways she could die or get injured. And he began to move again, his steps rocking her each time he moved.

Shinae’s face went slightly pale as he went on and on. Her stomach flipped and she no longer thought she could tolerate being on his shoulder. Bile rose up the back of and her fingers twisted hard into his throat but he didn’t react. Her fingers inched around trying to find something she could grab that would get him to shut up but his neck was too long and she couldn’t reach his damned hair. So she gave up and shouted instead, she pushed the air out of her lungs with so much force that she felt like she’d suffocate with it. Her stomach ached and the bruises on her ribcage screamed out.

“Baekhyun!!!” The force with which she screamed his name startled him and he stopped in his tracks again. The momentum once more threw her forward and this time Baekhyun’s hand shot out underneath her and she just let go and slumped into the palm of his hand. She no longer wanted to be so high up and his palm no longer seemed like such a scary thing, but she knew she couldn’t be down on the ground near his giant shoes nor would she be able to even keep up with him. She had a hard time keeping her balance when the ground shook each time he moved. So his hand was a welcome reprieve. 

Once he realized she had resigned herself to resting in his palm he moved it away from his body in a slow measured way. His fingers twitched behind her back, like he didn’t know what to do with them. But then again, it was his left hand, she doubted she could keep her left hand open and stable enough to carry someone. She swallowed and silently cursed herself for thinking it, now suddenly worried about him closing his fist around her. But his palm remained open as he continued to walk-pointedly not looking down at her.

“Baekhyun, I’m talking to you!” She shouted up at him. It felt like shouting at someone from the base of a mountain while they stood at the top aka hopeless. But Baekhyun’s chin dropped before he raised her up a little higher so she could see his face more clearly. His pink lips were set in a hard line and his gaze was not gentle either.

“Shinae, I said no.” His words were ice. 

“And I said that I’m talking to you-you don’t get to just talk over me and ignore me because you're the size of a skyscraper.” She seethed. 

His eyebrows darted up behind his bangs, his eyes widened before they dropped back into their normal position. His lips curled for a moment, his tongue darting out to wet them. The image set her on edge. But he sighed and nodded at her to continue. 

“Look, I know that what happened today was not good and that there are a million and one things that could go horribly wrong. But you asked me to trust you.” She sighed, doing her best to look at him head on-or at least the best she could. “This is me trusting you.”

He raised his hand up a little higher, his fingers curling up behind her to block her from view. She knew this was most likely a test. She had a history of flinching or cowering when he got too close. She was terrified of being so close to his face. His lips were huge and so was his mouth, and it made her feel even smaller to be so close to him but it was more than that…she just wasn’t sure what else. Her heart started to pound hard behind her ribcage, she swallowed hard and tried to meet his large brown eyes. 

Her body was shaking with restraint to ignore all the instincts telling her to move back and cower away from him. She was going to trust him and god dammit she was going to prove it right here, right now. 

His lips rested before her, her body sat in the shadow of his nose and the minty warm breath brushed past her. Then he lifted her higher so she settled before his large observing gaze. She stared right back, her stomach doing somersaults inside of her. His pupils constricted slightly before expanding a little bit. His dark brown irises had flecks of gold thrown in them with darker spots and light ones. She swallowed bile. She still was fighting every instinct in her telling her that he was a predator and a dangerous one at that. He held her there a moment longer, his gaze taking her in with a sharp focus that made her skin crawl. 

Finally, he dropped her down lower again and put her at a much easier distance for her. She felt her body ease slightly, she hadn’t flinched though. He had to give her credit for that at least. She hoped and prayed he hadn’t noticed the color drain from her face or the way she shook with the proximity. 

“Go on,” he said afterward,