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'A long time' translated into four long years of quietly watching Anna from a distance, whether it had been on a computer, TV or in-person at a live event. But even then, I managed to steer clear of her, observing her when she wasn't aware and disappearing when she was. It wasn't because time apart made me resent her or created anger within my heart. 

It was simply because interacting with her hurt. Time apart didn't lead to nothing, it created pain stemmed from the feeling of loss that I couldn't push away. 

At first, one of the first things I would do at a Family Concert would be to track her down and reunite with her. Director Jung was putting both of us in the line-ups of almost every show around the world, as the buzz around our "star-crossed love" was beneficial for business. Fans had our relationship, or lack of, under a microscope to catch every interaction, as there were ample amounts of both good and bad fascination surrounding us.

It was always amazing to see her. Her eyes would light up upon seeing me as much as mine probably did. We'd talk as if we hadn't been separated, laugh as if nothing had changed. We'd run around the stages with our friends like we used to, as if our backstage shenanigans weren't enough. 

I could understand why the fans were curious about Anna and I. To the every day fan, we looked like we were really together still. During the closing medleys of every show, we could still be caught gazing at each other the few times we weren't by each other's sides. We'd walk down the catwalks together, Anna waving to one side and myself waving to the other.

But then, the medley would end and the Family Concert logo would be displayed on the LCD screens, along with a message of thanks in the language of whatever country we were in. And the ends of each concert only increased my pain as time went on. I'd always be so close to getting what I wanted - to having her back with me - just for reality to so easily rip that away. As great as seeing her was, they weren't the gleeful opportunities I expected them to be. They were little teases, little tastes, and they were cruel.

My mind went into autopilot from there. Without even realizing, I started to distance myself from her, as if my body was trying to defend itself from more emotional pain. The backstage visits and hangouts stopped. The texts and calls grew more infrequent. The distances between us on stages grew larger and larger. And after a while, she gave up on putting in the effort I was no longer putting in myself.

The only good thing that came out of that was that time seemed to speed up from there. There was less moping and less counting down the days until the unknown date of our final, big reunion. I didn't allow my mind to overthink what was happening between Anna and I. We both believed once that it was meant to be. And what was meant to be would be, right?

There was one hitch. A little over two years after she'd said goodbye to me at JFK Airport in New York, rumors of her new American boyfriend circulated around global entertainment news sites. Well, it didn't seem like much of a rumor based on the pictures of them as clear dates to some sort of red carpet event, their arms hooked tastefully around each other's waists. 

He was an actor, his practiced smile showing off two rows of perfect teeth. The dark hair on his head had been perfectly quaffed by some hot-shot, Hollywood hairdresser and his clear skin radiated under his spotlight. Anna looked flawed standing next to him, but I felt that only made her the more beautiful one between the two. And most noticeable of all, she looked happy. Truly happy. And that scared me.

"I saw this coming," Jimin sighed as leaned against the rehearsal studio wall. Resting on the floor in front of him was my laptop, a whole collection of pictures of them soiling my screen. Pictures of my girl and another man.

"What did you expect, hyung? I know she told you that you were the one for her but it's been years now. She's a mature young woman, she's beautiful and she's an international superstar now. Did you not expect some American A-lister to step in and swoop her away?"

"I did expect that," I told Jungkook truthfully. "I just didn't expect her to fall for any of it."

"Well, I may have called her mature but I also said she's young," the maknae continued, not seeming too stressed about the current predicament but invested, nonetheless. "He probably just charmed the hell out of her. He looks like he's capable of that and more."

"Jungkook." 

I frowned, not enjoying the acknowledgment by my closest friends that this guy was better than me. That I'd lost to a man that was better than me. Because I knew it was true.

"No, I think he's somewhat right," Namjoon inputed after listening quietly the whole time. "She is still only, what, 21? 22? He probably just knew all the right things to say to win her over. And you know Hollywood. There's no guaranteeing their relationship will last very long."

"Yeah, I mean, come on," Hoseok chimed in. "He looks like the kind of guy that the Anna we knew would have run from."

I sighed. "Maybe she's not the Anna we knew anymore."

I feared that to be the case more and more as not a single sign of a breakup ever made its way into the news. Half a year went by. A year went by. A year and a half went by. Only as they were preparing to achieve twice as long of a relationship as we did did word of their breakup finally circulate entertainment news. 

Part of me was relieved and excited, but the other half nagged that she did what she claimed she wouldn't ever be able to do after being with me - she loved another man. I mean, she had to have loved him, right? It only took a little over half a year for her to fall in love with me. It was only logical that she'd fall in love with him after two whole years.

I felt betrayed but more so, I felt sad. I felt deflated. I had gotten my hopes up so high, something I never would've done had Anna not come into the picture and shift so many of my perspectives on things, just to have them crushed. I never would've thought that would indirectly be by her doing. 

Suddenly, time seemed to slow down again. Some days were tougher than others but none of them were particularly easy without her. She had truly become my best friend, my lover, and she was now farther from me than ever before. And that was taking a toll on me. But I continued on steadily with my work, even creating the best music I ever had in my life in the wake of my heartbreak.

"I saw the reports on this week's music charts," Namjoon told me at one of our routine studio sessions. "A couple of your songs are still really high on them."

I nodded and hummed at his way of congratulating me. 

"You should be proud of yourself," he continued, unsatisfied with my response.

"I am. Believe me, I am. I just-"

"He's just being Min Yoongi - too lazy to emote," J-Hope interjected, closing the door behind him as he entered. Neither of us had even heard him open it.

"Yeah, that's obviously it," I played along, getting to my feet and stretching my hands about my head. "I'm gonna go back to the dorm and grab my laptop. I downloaded a few samples onto it that I can maybe transfer into the project."

My two friends nodded, bidding me temporary farewell. As I left, I could just faintly hear Hoseok reminding Namjoon that I wasn't myself for the time being and to give me some leeway until the sting of my heartbreak numbed up a little. I was neither bitter nor happy about Hoseok's private words, but I certainly wasn't indifferent to them. I left the studio building with a frown on my face, one that I tried to hide when I returned to the session.

Things continued for the next two years or so in this manner. Avoidance became a daily practice and faked emotions became a mastered skill. Then, on a day that I fully expected to be so like the rest, one set of news told me there was a good chance that that would all change. 

"She's here."

"What, for like a concert or something?" I asked, not paying Hoseok any mind. It wasn't infrequent that Anna was back in Korea for a show or appearance.

"No, like, here," he reiterated, though I wasn't sure he was making things any clearer. He huffed in frustration. "Here for a while, I mean."

"Huh?" That caught my attention. "What exactly do you mean?"

"I'm not entirely sure, to be honest. I'm just telling you all the bits and pieces of things I've been hearing from other people all morning," he admitted. "It sounds like she's taking a hiatus."

"And she's taking it here?"

He shrugged. "Seems so."

I diverted my gaze away from him, my frown set on nothing in particular as my mind already began processing my next steps. Unfortunately, all of my thoughts were conflicting with each other so conflicted was how I was left feeling.

"I wasn't expecting you to be necessarily thrilled about this but I didn't think you'd look so unhappy, either," J-Hope commented, scrutinizing me from where he stood.

"I don't know what to do about this, Hoseok," I revealed, feeling shameful. "Maybe I should just do nothing. Pretend I don't know she's here."

"I think you should meet up with her."

"So, I can feel like when she leaves again AND be incredibly awkward with her after the happenings of these past four years? Yeah, thanks but no thanks," I snapped bitterly. He took it with a grain of salt, as usual.

"Come on, hyung. You can't keep running away from her. Didn't you guys promise you'd stick together no matter what?"

"That was before she made off with another guy."

"Okay, now you're just being unfair," he frowned, clearly displeased with my attitude. "Wasn't it you who created a divide in your friendship because it was too hard not having her around all the time, at your every dispense? I'm sorry, but if you're allowed to be selfish like that, then she's allowed to meet someone who'll fill the gap you created. Simple as that."

"The gap I created? Wasn't it Anna who left us behind four year ago?!"

I frowned back at him, displeased myself for many reasons. I couldn't believe how quickly I'd gotten riled up but I couldn't help it. Any discussion involving Anna could shake me on a normal day, and today certainly wasn't one of those. I opened my mouth to continue drilling in my point but Hoseok cut me off shortly before I could. 

"Just don't hurt her, Yoongi. I don't care at this point whether you go out of your way to see her or not but just think about what you might be doing to her," he put me on blast, surprising me with the bitterness in his tone. "Despite what you may think, she still loves you very much and one wrong word from you could seriously affect her. And I think she's been through enough in her life, don't you?"

Hoseok's words really surprised the hell out of me, which was probably a good thing in the end. My mind was suddenly in a new place. Had she really moved on from me? Or was I letting emotional irrationality take over me for the first time?

"Go see her, hyung. Find out what's been going on in her life. Hear her side of the story," Hoseok encouraged far more gently than just before. "I know you're afraid to watch her leave again but you never know what may happen. The universe may just surprise you."

I took Hoseok's words very seriously, which made me uneasy. I knew of the twists and turns of the universe. I'd experienced them on more than one occasion. And because of this, I was unsure how much more I could handle.