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Following my birthday, it was a very long two weeks away from home. Our packed, dawn-to-dusk workdays in Southeast Asia should’ve flown by had exhaustion not kicked in at maximum capacity by the start of the second week. Don’t get me wrong, the fan-meets and performances were a ton of fun but we were definitely being wrung out like rags. Our fans deserved all the special events, I just didn’t expect so many to show up. The SKEES fanbase had definitely grown since our last major visit.

It seemed I wasn’t the only one getting up-close and personal with fans. Amongst others, Anna seemed to have had her own fan-meeting as a thanks for the warm welcome she’d received thus far in Korea. And just as I’d expected, people had clearly latched onto her friendship with Hoseok. In more than one picture, she sported various J-Hope-related merchandise that fans gave her one by one. By the looks on her face in the fan-taken shots spreading around social media, it seemed she was getting a real kick out of all of it.

“They give so much at these things, don’t they?” She texted me in response to one of the pictures I had sent her, expressing my own amusement with the whole thing. “I was expecting to be the giver, not the receiver.”

“That’s Korean music fans for you. Actors and variety stars get stuff, too, but it’s not nearly as much and nothing like what we get,” I replied when I should’ve been sleeping. Though Namjoon, who agreed to share a hotel room with me, still had his eyes glued to his phone screen as well.

Weren’t we supposed to be exhausted?

“It’s crazy. Some even almost walked away before I could give them the autographed photo they supposedly came for.”

“Eh, that’ll change when the meetings become album signings. They treasure those much more,” I revealed to her. “For now, it’s all about establishing themselves as your longest-running fans for the future and giving you gifts now means you’ll be more likely to hold onto them. Eventually, you run out of places to put them all. Trust me.”

“Wow, how…” She sent me in one pondering text, completing her thought in a second immediately after. “Calculated? Meticulous?”

“Yep,” I agreed, knowing those were two accurate yet forgiving ways to put it. “It’s no joke.”

“I guess not. It’s kinda brilliant, though. I wish I was that dedicated when I was a fangirl.”

“You were a fangirl?” I didn’t even want to imagine what that looked like.

“Hell, yeah. I had an unhealthy obsession with One Direction for almost all of high school. Little Mix, too.”

I didn’t have a clue who Little Mix was but I didn’t care enough to ask. But One Direction? Really? I hadn’t listened to a second of their music but I’d seen their pictures and they looked awfully greasy.

“Well, now you can be a J-Hope fangirl. It seems you’ve got enough merchandise for it.”

“Boy, you’ve got that right,” she agreed. “I don’t even know what to do with half of it. Like, not to sound ungrateful, but it feels a little weird having some of this stuff. He's one of my closest friends.”

“Come on, haven’t you always wanted a paper fan with his bright and smiling face on it?” I asked, my message oozing with sarcasm.

“Oh, of course. It’s been a dream of mine for a while now,” she played along, making me silently chuckle. “Though I have to admit, this t-shirt that I got of him doing some ridiculous pose is so fantastic, I might actually wear it.”

“Is that a joke?”

“I wish it was 🙈,” she answered, though I knew she didn’t. She couldn’t fool me, I knew she’d love that shirt the second I saw the picture of the fan giving it to her. “Now I’ve just gotta get fans to love our friendship so they can get me a shirt with an embarrassing picture of you on it.”

“So basically, I’m never risking getting caught hanging out with you in public ever again,” I concluded semi-sarcastically. “Awesome, sounds good.”

“You know, I do have some golden photos of you on my phone. Maybe I’ll post my own little gift for the fans on SNS…,” she teased, making very fitting use of the devil emoji.

“You are extremely annoying.”

“That way, they’ll feel even more inclined to gift it to me in some way,” she continued. “Maybe a hat or phone case or something.”

“You really .”

“I know,” she replied with an array of cheeky emojis.

On the Annabelle essentials list: emojis. How about the fans gift something involving those to her?

“Anyway, we’ve basically finished the album,” she immediately followed up, keeping the conversation warm.

My eyes widened at the news. “You’ve finished it? Already?”

“I mean, the whole things needs to be mastered. But we’ve sent it off for that already so your job is done,” she explained, probably thinking I’d be relieved by the lightening of my duties. In reality, I was saddened by the loss of a perfectly good excuse to spend time with her.

“Well, that’s great.” It was neither a lie or the truth depending on the perspective.

“Yeah.” I could picture her smiling as she wrote the text, proud of her accomplishment. “But wanna know what’s not so great? All these visuals I’ve gotta shoot and the late hours they need me to shoot them.”

“Ah, you are truly a SKEES artist now,” I joked, though this time, this was truth.

“Chun Hwa thinks they’ve given me extra visual shoots to ‘broadcast my white face’, too.”

“I’m guessing those were her exact words.”

“They were,” she confirmed, little to my surprise. “Sadly, I think she’s right, too.”
 

“She probably is,” I admitted. “SKEES is a good organization but they’re not sinless. They aren’t going to wait to leverage your race to make themselves look good. I mean, look how much media coverage they got simply when you got signed.”

“So, basically what you’re saying is that every time I do anything notable, they’re going to parade me around for their benefit?”

“Pretty much.”

“Awesome,” she concluded sarcastically. “Though I guess I was naive to hope they wouldn’t.”

“You said it, not me,” I joked but she was right. If her talent didn’t live up to the SKEES expectations, she’d really only be here for the press her face would give. “So with all of these visual shoots, does this mean I won’t be seeing much of you for a while?”

“What, can’t we still hang out?”

Grandpa Yoongi mode officially kicked in. “If we’re able to find the time between both of our schedules, sure. But you’re about to get so busy that you probably won’t see any of us very often.”

This time, I could imagine her expression totally dropping. “Well, that’s depressing.”

“I personally think they created this profession with the intention to make anyone in it friendless,” I theorized sarcastically.

“Sounds like it,” she agreed. “I guess it’s time I really get down with me, myself and I.”

I laughed. We sounded like the absolute biggest losers of humanity. I’m not sure if my chuckles reminded Namjoon of my presence or if I brought him out of his own virtual world but he lifted himself up out of bed and looked over at me.

“Is it alright if I turn off the lights?” He asked, looking at me with tired eyes. I’m sure mine looked the same way.

“Yeah, that’s probably the best idea.”

He nodded and went off to do so while I directed my attention back to my conversation with Anna. Her most recent message patiently awaited an answer.

“You, yourself and you. Great company,” I sent her first as the room was blanketed in darkness, making me instantly more tired. “But I think I’m gonna do the same now. Namjoon just shut the lights off on me.”

“No better way of saying ‘Go the to sleep’ I guess,” she joked. “But alright, I’ll talk to you later.”

“Talk to you later,” I confirmed before locking my phone and stretching my body to place it on my bedside table.

“How’s Anna?”

I looked over in Namjoon’s direction, though I couldn’t see him as my eyes were still adjusting from the change in brightness between my screen and the room. “How’d you know I was talking to Anna?”

“I can’t remember the last time you sacrificed sleep just to talk until Anna came along. I thought it was as good of a guess as any, and it seems like it was,” he explained and I wanted to hit the satisfied smirk I knew he was adorning right off his face. He was really a pest sometimes.

“Hey, if you want that kind of attention from me that badly, maybe you should take some notes from her,” I shot back. Let the banter begin.

“There isn’t a single note I can take that’ll turn me into a pretty American girl.”

“Looks aren’t important, Joon. I thought you of all people would try to enforce that as much as possible.

He chuckled at my taunt, not paying much mind to it as I knew he wouldn’t. “She’s more than a face, I know.”

I rolled over in bed, giving him my back. In the dark, it was more of a symbolic gesture than anything. He smiled, changing his position himself and resting his hands behind his head.

“You know, that girl SinB in Eunha’s group is cool like Anna. Remember that time she came out with us? Interesting that you’ve never looked at her how you look at-”

“Good night, Namjoon,” I silenced him drowsily, the dark and my new position successfully beginning to sooth me into dreamland.

He laughed one last time but exhaustion wasn’t taking it easy on him, either. “Good night, hyung,” he slurred, practically unconscious already.

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“Who’s got you smiling like that?”

Anna looked at Soo Jeon, roommate #3, over the top of her phone like she had been caught red-handed. “Like what?”

“Like you’re talkng to a man named Min Yoongi,” Chun Hwa interjected as she exited the bathroom, wringing out the endless strands of her post-shower hair with a towel. “Which I’m sure you are.”

“Suga?” Soo Jeon clarified, raising an eyebrow at her fellow American. “Are you seeing him?”

“You mean dating him? No.” But as she said no, Chun Hwa simultaneously said yes. Anna gave the younger girl a look. “Wow, J-Hope. What'cha doing in our room?”

“J-Hope’s here?” Dina, roommate #4, asked as she walked through their front door, her schedules for the day finally having come to a close. She placed her shoes with the others' before sauntering over to her roommates. When she saw no sign of the mentioned happy-go-lucky man, she glanced between the three for answers.

“No,  but thank god you’re home, D. The two of them have been inside-joking and I’m totally lost,” Soo Jeon whined, her valley girl accent oozing off of the English the four girls chose to speak at their dorm. They agreed that there would be be no better way to get a taste of home than to speak like they were there.

And Soo Jeon, well, she was a Californian princess in the flesh.

“Why, what’s going on?”

“Anna and Suga are what’s going on.”

“Oh, yeah. Aren’t you guys dating now or something?” Dina asked Anna nonchalantly, making the girl’s jaw drop.

“How the hell would you know that?” Anna had yet to complain to her other two roommates about the Chun Hwa’s Cupid-resembling shenanigans. Dina shrugged.

"Sowon, maybe? I think I remember her telling me that Eunha told her."

Anna's shock only grew. “Eunha?! And who the heck told Eunha?”

“I don’t know, you? Isn’t she in your group of friends?”

“Yeah, but she hasn’t been around much and I wouldn’t have told her,” Anna denied immediately. “I don’t really talk to her that often.”

“What?!” Chun Hwa exclaimed in disbelief, reacting to Anna’s words like they were insane. “But you’re birthday buddies! Same year and everything!”

“Chun Hwa, quit getting side-tracked,” Soo Jeon scolded before comprehending the maknae’s words. “Wait, really?”

“Yeah,” Anna nodded, hoping everyone would get side-tracked. “May 30, 1997.”

“Wow,” Dina nodded before snapping her fingers. “Oh, I remember now. I think Eunha said Jeon Jungkook told her.”

Anna groaned, bringing a hand to her forehead as she thought about the lengthening line of gossip- Jungkook to Eunha to Sowon. Did everyone really care that much? “Don’t tell me I’ve lost Kook to this nonsense, too.”

Chun Hwa made her way over to her eonnie, sitting down next to her on her bed. She wrapped an arm around her shoulders and tugged her close. But if the older girl thought she was going to receive some sort of condolence, she was wrong.

“Face the facts, Anna. It’s an undeniable love.”

Anna pushed her away, eyeing her disapprovingly. “Alright, it may be a few things but love isn’t one of them.”

“So, it is something then,” Dina pressed, holding Anna down with a challenging stare.

“No,” she originally denied but the stare didn’t fail. She heaved a deep sigh. “I mean… I don’t know. I guess it's something.”

“Why do you have to be so moody about it?” Dina questioned, calling her out simultaneously. She was so clearly the oldest in the dorm. When it didn’t seem like Anna could come up with an answer, Soo Jeon decided to take it at another angle.

“And why so unsure? I mean, say he were to confess and ask you to be his girlfriend. Would you say yes?”

Anna stopped to genuinely think about it, serving as enough of an answer for Chun Hwa. But the older girls patiently waited for their dongsaeng. “I honestly don’t know. I mean, doesn’t he have a lot of female fans?”

“Sure. That whole group of guys is probably as popular as it gets with female fans- nationally and internationally. Jin is always boasting on their behalf but I don’t need to hear it from him to know,” Dina confirmed. I had totally forgotten that Dina’s ventures into the acting side of SKEES helped her form a friendship with Jin, one of Yoongi’s best friends.

But her answer gave Anna her answer.

“Then, no. I would say no. I don’t want to be obliterated by fangirls.”

“You wouldn’t be obliterated. Just… massively hated for a while,” Chun Hwa speculated honestly, not bothering to beat around the bush. To Anna, there was no difference based on the things she'd heard and seen.

“Okay, that’s not necessarily true,” Soo Jeon quickly stepped in, not wanting Chun Hwa’s honesty to add to Anna’s apprehension. “How fans react to dating scandals is rarely predictable. Sometimes, fans do fall in love with the couple.”

“Just the fact that two idols dating is referred to as a scandal is enough to make me more certain of my answer,” Anna responded, proving Soo Jeon to be unsuccessful at her attempt.

“They were labeled as scandals when SKEES really took control of mainstream media in Korea,” Dina explained, though judging by the way Anna looked at her, it didn’t seem like she explained anything at all. The eldest girl rolled her eyes. “That was 18 years ago, Anna. Things have changed.”

“Stop Yoda-ing, eonnie,” Anna grumbled, coming to terms with the fact that her fight would probably end up as a losing one.
 

“Can’t help that I’m informed,” she shrugged, disappearing into her bedroom so she could plop down onto her bed back first. It had been a long day and she had not expected to be kept awake by her younger sisters. But being in a different room didn’t mean she was out of earshot and Anna knew that well.

“It’s only because you’re old,” she called out to her.

“25 is hardly old!”

“I used to agree,” Anna mumbled under her breath.

“Anna, you’re deflecting.”

“Because I’m overwhelmed!” Anna exclaimed in exasperation, throwing her hands up in the air. “There’s already so much going on and now I have this to worry about! All in a matter of three months, too. It’s unbelievable!”

“Aw, Anna,” Chun Hwa cooed, softening at her best friend’s dispense. “Developing a relationship of any kind with a guy that gets along with you like Yoongi does shouldn’t worry you! It should be nice.”

“It would be without you s,” Anna pouted specifically to suppress a mischievous grin. But there was clearly no hiding anything in that dorm.

“Don’t forget the s in the building next door,” Chun Hwa played along.

“I couldn’t forget even if I tried. Hoseok alone would never let me,” Anna pointed out. “You and him are like a match made in heaven, Hwa.”
 

“Only when it involves you. Otherwise, we haven’t always found common ground.”

“It’s true. Even your music careers couldn’t be more different,” Dina commented with a chuckle, emerging from her room after having changed into a set of pajamas. “Though, I would love to see what a collaboration between a ballad singer and a hype-rapper like him is like.”

“I’m gonna go with ‘interesting’,” Chun Hwa concluded. “We could write a ballad and he’d still make me learn choreography.”

“Chun Hwa, do you even dance?” Anna laughed. “The only time I’ve ever seen you in the practice studio is either on your way upstairs to rehearse a strictly vocal performance or when you just wanna socialize.”

“I can dance. I would just typically rather not,” she defended, making Anna chuckle even more. She’d gone from being like Hoseok to Yoongi in the blink of an eye.

“It’s true. She’s not bad, either,” Soo Jeon, a well-rounded dancer by training, agreed. “But if you ladies will excuse me, I think I’m gonna strip down and hit the sack.”

“Strip away,” Anna gave her the go, gesturing to her shared bedroom with Dina in encouragement.

None of the three girls paid any mind when Soo Jeon already began to strip on her way over, not bothering to wait until she was in the privacy of her bedroom. It was nothing new. Plus, the others were too busy hurrying off to prepare for bed themselves.

This was a universal problem at any establishment that encouraged roommates, whether it be here, college, camp, whatever. There were typically so many late night conversations that no one actually got the sleep they needed on some nights. With multiple packed-in schedules that rarely offered them much time to catch up with each other, their chats always seemed to last until ungodly hours of the night or morning- as it had that night.

After a few minutes, Chun Hwa the energizer bunny was all nestled up in her top bunk, browsing through the net on her iPad. On the flip side of the wall, Soo Jeon and Dina had already dozed off. But on the bottom bunk underneath Chun Hwa, Anna’s pondering mind prevented her from easing into sleep. She stared up at the springs underneathe the mattress above her

“Hwa?”

“Mm?”

Anna hesitated. She hadn’t fully expected Chun Hwa to still be conscious. She looked tired earlier. “I do really like him. Yoongi.”

Anna could hear the younger girl smile. “I know you do. And that’s a good thing, as far as I’m concerned.”

“It’s like,” Anna began, trying to piece her thoughts into a coherent explanation that her friend could understand. “There aren’t many people who feel like home to me. There’s plenty who’ve made me feel at home- Hoseok, Seulgi, you know, all of our friends. Even outside people like Yuju or Junhong have made me feel comfortable here.”

Chun Hwa remained silent, being the good listener she was known to be.

“But that’s different than being a person that feels like home. Not even Soo Jeon or Dina do that. You feel like home to me, Chun Hwa, and for the longest time, it was just you.”

“But it’s Yoongi too now, isn’t it?”

Anna’s nod went unseen from the girls laying directly above her. “He feels like home, Chun Hwa. He couldn’t technically be farther from it but he does.”

“I don’t think you have to be from home to feel like home,” Chun Hwa voiced her thoughts, taking Anna’s sentiments very seriously. And the older girl loved and appreciated her so much for that. “I’m sure it’s easier that I am from New York like you. But if that’s all I was to you, then I don’t think I’d feel like home either. I think it’s the way I make you feel understood and like you belong. It’s the way we can just talk and talk, even if it’s all nonsense. It’s how we’ve settled into such a place of complete comfort and peace with each other that we feel nothing but ease, love and care for each other. I’ve always got your back and you’ve always got mine. I see no limits to our friendship and I think that all applies to Yoongi in your mind, too.”

Anna’s face broke into a soft grin, touched by Chun Hwa’s compassion and respect towards her feelings but also so incredibly proud of her maturity. She was everything an idol should be at her age and more.

“You’re amazing, Chun Hwa. Did you know that?” She commented in genuine admiration, making the younger girl smile.

“As are you, eonnie. As are you.”