◎    ◉    ◎

13 hours. We waited 13 hours for results we’d been painfully anticipating. More videos from the concert surfaced within that time, some showing more than others, but I couldn’t have been bothered with any of that. I didn’t want to see any of it. I just wanted information. 

My wish was granted two hours into our wait- just not entirely. A big group of us had set up camp by the TV in the recreation center, leaving the news on in the background while trying to hold each other up. We were all shaken to the core, trying to ignore the reruns of the original broadcast.

That was until the reruns were replaced with the day's first breaking news update, earning everyone’s attentions.

It was safe to say that the newscaster gave us quite a bit to let sink in. The first bit of news was that the three other girls and everyone else in attendance were fine. That made me feel slightly better until she quoted the Dallas Police Commissioner, who announced that Anna, Dina and Soo Jeon had been skimmed by bullets due to the rapidity and scattered nature in which they had been fired. Only Dina’s wound was deep enough to require any serious stitches. Because of this, the commissioner theorizied that any of them could’ve been hit as seriously as Chun Hwa, meaning Anna was just as much of a target as she was.

All the while, Chun Hwa was still undergoing surgery. Fantastic.

I don’t think any of us felt much better when we turned away from the TV. I, honestly, felt even more sick to my stomach than before. As if seeing Chun Hwa get shot wasn't enough, I could've just as easily seen Anna suffer the same fate. My Anna. And that shook me to the core.

But still, we continued to wait, a few of us occassionally stepping out for some fresh air or rest or food. Many had dozed off every once in a while, the morning's unexpected wake-up call for most taking its toll on everyone. But for once, I wasn't one of those people. I just couldn't be. There was no appeal in relaxing in any way, shape or form. Because no matter what anyone said in an attempt to reassure me, I couldn't get past what had happened. Until I got the final word on this whole, unprecendented situation, I wouldn't dare rest my eyes.

So, I sat and stared in silence, my mind going off in every which way. The guys eventually gave up on making some kind of conversation with me, probably tired of getting ignored. But they knew me and how I was feeling well enough to understand, for they were almost as stressed over the matter as I was.

So, we all eventually sat and stared in silence, the hours ticking away like a time-bomb. And every time a new one came along, we would hope to hear something. Eleven additional hours passed us by until hour 13 finally gave us something. We just wished it didn’t.

The newscaster following the story all day, looking as if the task had exhausted her, stared into the eyes of the nation as she made one, final announcement to us all.

“Two hours ago, at 6:38 PM KST, Korean idol Moon Chun Hwa gave in to her injuries after she was shot while performing in America. Our hearts go out to her family and friends, as well as the entire SKEES community, in the wake of this terrible tragedy.”

______________________________________________________________

Let the angst begin.