Original character artwork for Chun Hwa! Leave a comment below if you want artwork for other characters (and let me know which ones!)

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I didn’t think the truth of Anna’s departure could feel anymore real until we were given the exact day. It felt like she had just shared the news with all of her friends because in reality, she had. No sooner did they know what was going on did we know how much longer she'd be with us. But we didn’t want to spend any of the time dwelling on dread. Why would I want her to go off with those being her freshest memories of her life here?

No, I and everyone else made the best of the time we had left. She may have only been moving but there was no telling how personally distant she was going to get.

57 days before her departure, she knocked at my studio’s door, giving me an unexpected visit.

“What are you doing here?” I asked in pleasant surprise, completely disregarded everything I had been saying to Namjoon before her arrival. He rolled his eyes at me in dismay before turning back to the computer in front of him. “I expected you to go straight home to sleep after your concert went so late last night.”

She chuckled a little. “That would've been nice.”

She then grew a little awkward. I looked at her doubtfully, though I tried to play it off as half-hearted. “Uh oh. What’s with that look?”

She shook her head at my skepticism. “No, no. It’s nothing. I was just… I wanted to ask something of you.”

“You know he’d do your every bidding. No need to feel so awkward about asking,” Namjoon inputed as if he was incredibly bored by our conversation, his chin resting in his palm further implying so. I shot him a look that he ignored before turning back to Anna.

“Sure, what’s up?”

“I was wondering if you’d be willing to work with me on this song I’d started with someone a while ago. I never got around to finishing it and you and I haven’t done anything together since you helped me with my school assignment,” she explained, pulling a flash drive out of her jacket pocket as she did so. “I mean, if you really count that.”

“I’d be up for it, I think we’ll make something good. I just can’t believe we haven’t done anything since then,” I chuckled. “What’s on the flash drive?”

“A few vocals we recorded.”

“Oh, whose? Yours?”

I noticed her hesitate, even if it was slight. “No. Chun Hwa’s.”

That piked even Namjoon’s interest. He looked over his shoulder at her, as if to check wether she was okay or kidding. I could only be proud of her as she continued.

“She’s the one I had been working on the song with. I thought finishing it with the vocals she recorded would be a nice way to honor her. She was really proud of what we’d created so far and would’ve loved to have heard it completed. So, I thought I would do that for her,” she explained with complete honesty and vulnerability. “And there’s no one I would rather work on it with than you.”

I heard Namjoon mutter a low “wow” under his breath while I could only stare at her with utmost admiration. She was having a hard time with her question, I could tell. And yet, she didn't run away from it. I gave her a gentle, appreciating smile.

“It would be my honor.”

I worked so hard on that song with her. I don’t think I could’ve put anymore of my heart into it if I tried. Namjoon even felt compelled to give us a hand on recording Anna’s vocals, as he was much better recording engineer than I was.

The emotion was so raw within those few days but I honestly felt that working on the song was exactly what Anna needed. I’d come home from schedules to find her huddled over a sheet of lyrics or her laptop with the session open, doing eveything she could to make it the best song possible. Sometimes, I’d find her sound asleep next to her handy work, leaving me to tuck her in next to me.

But most memorable was when we laid down the vocals with her. Her emotion was real, it was powerful, and it was just, well, emotional. And it was absolutely breathtaking.

When we finally finished production - in record time, may I add - I asked her what she planned on doing with the song. It was technically a personal project that we’d worked on in our own time. No one told us to make it and no one other than us two, Namjoon and Chun Hwa had any involvement in its creation. It was really up to any of us what the next step would be.

She had stopped to think about it for a moment, though something told me she had already had an idea in mind the whole time.

“I’m going to give it to Director Jung to release, maybe even for free,” she decided firmly. “I think a lot of people in a lot of places could use hearing a song like this, not just her fans.”

I really was so proud of her. She did something that was entirely out of her comfort zone primarily for other people. My admiration for her was infinite.

So 44 days before her departure, I reached out to as many of our friends as possible with plans for a deserving surprise.

“We can do that,” J-Hope nodded as we all sat around Jungkook’s dorm. There were 36 of us squeezing ourselves into his living room without complaint. “But she really did that? I mean, she suggested to use Chun Hwa’s voice and everything? Didn’t it hurt her to hear it?”

“It did,” I nodded. I understood Hoseok’s surprise. He had physically lived with her pain and tears for months. “But she really wanted to do it for Chun Hwa and her fans. And really, I think it ended up being for her, too. It was tough but it was the best way she knew how to honor Chun Hwa and she wasn’t giving up on that.”

“She really deserves this,” Namjoon supported, thinking back to what he’d seen himself. “Yoongi isn’t exaggerating or being biased. If there’s anything we can do for her before she goes to America, it’s this.”

No one voiced any objections.

The following day was one of many Family Concerts set in Seoul for the year, as well as the setting of my arrangement. As per usual for Seoul Family Concerts, more artists than usual were set to perform but anyone involved in my plan showed up regardless, actors included. All communication was done over text to avoid suspicion, especially when Anna was in close proximity.

I almost breathed a sigh of relief when one of the crew grabbed Anna for her set, as no one had and could ever spoil the surprise after that. As soon as she was stepping out from the shadows and into the stage’s spotlights, I texted everyone to let them know it was time.

“She has no idea, right?” J-Hope clarified as we all watched Anna do her thing from the wings.

“Not a clue,” I confirmed.

“She’s gonna love it,” he commented before looking my way in pride. “You’ve done a lot of great things for her, Yoongi. I’m really proud of you.”

“She deserves it,” I said firmly. “She… she’s made such an impact on my life.”

“I know,” he smiled. “We all know.”

The moment was bittersweet, but only lasted for a few seconds. It was interrupted by the commencement of my plan, triggered when she approached the last chorus of our song for Chun Hwa. I knew she was nervous about how emotionally-stable she’d be performing it and her worries were validated by the tears that emerged. They spilled as soon as the audience began to sing along, having quickly learned the song to be able to do so for her.

I had been looking out at them adoringly before we joined them ourselves. The sold-out stadium filled with screams as a seemingly endless supply of their idols emerged onto the stage, singing and clapping along to the song. She looked like a deer caught in headlights as she snapped her head to us, shocked beyond belief that we’d all come to join her on stage.

That was exactly how I’d hoped things would play out.

She broke down as a result of many different emotions, stubbornly turning away from us as we all bombarded her with hugs, laughter and love. I was so happy to faintly hear the sound of her own laughter on top of her cries.

We eventually urged her to finish the song, not that she really could as a blubbering mess. When the song came to an end, simultaneously ending her set, she gave both us and the audience her most sincere words of thanks, even getting down onto the ground for the most formal of bows. I watched Soo Jeon and Seulgi crouch beside her, rubbing her heaving back.

At that moment, you wouldn’t have known Korea wasn’t a strong demographic for her. The crowd cheered her on how they knew she deserved and louder than I’d ever heard before. It was her first big performance since Chun Hwa’s death, after all, and she had poured her heart into singing a song she had written for her and with all of them in mind.

Everyone was smiling when we came off-stage, except one person who was simply still too shocked to do so. I was just happy it was good shock for once.

“Who thought of this?” She asked accusingly over our chatter, hiccuping once as her tears slowly began to dry up. She looked as if she'd been betrayed.

Seulgi, who was walking by her side with one arm wrapped around her shoulders, was one of many who couldn’t help but laugh. Anna looked totally pitiful and for the first time in a while, it was for a light-hearted reason that we could laugh about.

“Who do you think would’ve orchestrated something like this?” She questioned back, thinking it had an easy answer. But Anna wasn’t exactly at her brightest in that moment. She stared at the older girl blankly.

“...Director Jung?”

“No, you idiot,” Jungkook groaned, making Anna scrunch her face up at him in displeasure.

Ah, those two.

The younger boy broke into a wide yet still judgmental smile as he pointed in my direction. “Why don’t you ask Yoongi about it?”

I saw the lightbulb go off in her head as her eyes followed the line of Jungkook’s finger and landed on me. They widened at the confirmation.

“Really?”

“Don’t act so shocked, you’ll give me a bad rep,” I joked.

“I just can’t… What? How? Haven’t you… haven’t you been super busy?!”

“Yeah, I have been,” I said simply, chuckling at her disbelief. Would she ever learn that it didn’t matter how busy I was? I’d always try my best to make her feel special whenever I could, no matter the situation.

Instead of going back at me with more questions, she stepped out of Seulgi’s arms and crossed the sea of entertainers to slide into my own. Of course, she moaned and groaned the whole way over, in total disbelief over a lot of things. I merely took her into my embrace, laughing at the childishness of her actions.

“Yah,” she quickly whined, pushing away from me to slap me in the shoulder. “You surprised the hell out of me! I had no idea what was going on!”

“Isn’t that how it’s supposed to work?”

She gave my shoulder another firm hit. “You know surprises get me worked up! These are panicked tears you’ve induced!”

“Oh, please,” I rolled my eyes at her theatrics, trying to pull her back to me. My hands were quickly swatted away.

Then, she realized that mostly everyone around us had either dispersed or were paying us no mind anymore. As if it gave her some kind of clearance, she took the opportunity to step back over to me and give me a sweet kiss, a smile playing on her lips as she did and when she pulled away.

“I love you,” she muttered appreciatively. “Thank you. Really. I may not like surprises but I loved this one.”

“It was no problem. Really,” I returned playfully, earning a smile and another kiss. I gave her side a squeeze as I pulled away. “Alright, we both need to get changed for the closing.”

“Okay, should we go to your dressing room or mine?”

I recognized that look on her face. Let’s just say that her mood had done a completely 180.

“Don’t tempt me,” I warned, shrugging her away teasingly. It didn’t take much for me to give in to her, especially when it came to activities of this sort. I headed off straight towards the dressing room exit. “Just meet me back out here without being a freak to anyone else!”

As if he’d heard our conversation, Jungkook later began talking Jimin’s ear off about how I was going to “get it” that night. Although I scolded the boy as I walked by, I was really unable to dispute his belief by the end of the night. But when was I ever one to kiss and tell?

Well, two days later and 42 days before her departure, she was quick to argue with me on that.

“Who’d you tell?!”

I had hardly sent a glance her way as I continued to eat my takeout dinner. “Tell what?”

“About the other night,” she further clarified, though it still wasn’t too clear.

“The other night?”

I tried to jog my memory. At first, all I could think of was us surprising her during her performance but that didn’t make much sense since nobody needed to be told about it. Everyone saw it, whether it was in person or online in viral videos.

Then, it hit me.

“Oh, that,” I said, not quite as fazed as I think she was expecting.

“Yes, that,” she emphasized.

“What’s the big deal? We’re adults, we’re in love and we've done it numerous times before. Isn’t that normal?”

“Yes, it is,” she agreed like it was a basic principle to her, too. So really, what was the problem? “It’s just annoying when you have children like Jungkook making a spectacle of it. We were both filming for the same variety show all day today and he literally wouldn’t leave me alone about it.”

“Jungkook?” I frowned. “I didn’t tell Jungkook.”

“So, who did you tell?” She urged once more. I thought about it momentarily.

“Namjoon, I think?” I asked more than answered. “Yeah, I remember now. It was definitely Joon.”

“Namjoon’s got a big mouth, then,” she complained, crossing her arms over her chest and pouting. But it seemed that all she wanted was to know who I had told about our "activities" before she quickly got over it, heading over to the kitchen to make herself a cup of tea. I observed her in amusement.

“You know, you should scold Namjoon the way you scold me. I think his mouth would shrink.”

“Yeah, yeah,” she waved me off. “Just know that you owe me.”

I nearly choked on my food from my sudden laughter. “Owe you? For what?”

“First, you subjected me to Jungkook thanks to your friendship with him and now you’ve instigated an opportunity for him to pester me,” she explained stubbornly. “So, you definitely owe me.”

“May I remind you that Jungkook actually approached you way before I did. So, no, I did not subject you to him,” I corrected wisely, a smirk playing on my lips. She sent me a glare before she took off with her tea into the bedroom.

“You still owe me!”

Although I didn't agree, as the good guy I am, I went along with it. But how was I supposed to top my master plan from just two nights earlier?

39 days before her departure, I concluded that I probably wouldn't. And having accepted that, I was able to concoct something far simpler yet still something I knew she'd enjoy.

"Oh my GOOOOODDDDDDD," she cried out in delight. "He's so cute!!"

I cringed at the decibal of her squeal while she got down to the floor to greet my puppy, Holly. The two were all over each other in an instant. I didn't think I had ever seen two beings more excited about meeting each other in my entire life. Of course, Holly was just being a typical puppy but I wasn't going to say that to Anna. She'd most likely scold me for bursting her bubble.

"I'm gonna go check if anyone's home," I eventually announced, though I was really planning on grabbing ome food from the kitchen. How could I stop by my family's home without raiding the fridge for my mother's cooking?

Anna paid me no mind as I left her behind with Holly. To be honest, I wasn't sure she'd even heard or noticed that I'd disappeared. When I came back, she was on the floor with a very happy puppy in her lap.

"Looks like I've been replaced," I commented as I sat down across from her.

"Yeah, I'm not one to move on so quickly but this is just a love I can't ignore," she joked, scratching behind Holly's ears.

Yep, she had truly won him over.

But clearly, his love for her was no match for his love for his owner. As soon as Holly noticed I was back and sitting on the floor just a foot away, he stretched his little limbs before leaving the warmth of Anna's hands to find my own. To her credit, it was somewhat reluctant. She was completely spoiling him, after all. But still, I had won this time and I was proud of it.

"Some love you guys have got there," I was quick to mock. She gave me a solid look of displeasure.

"It's only because you're his owner," she retorted. "Just wait until your brother comes home so you can get the chance to feel the pain of Holly's neglect."

I scoffed. "Please, that wouldn't happen."

"That's debatable."

"Quiet, you," I shushed her, secretly aware that she was right but refusing to give her that satisfaction. I was quick to deflect. "But say my brother did come home. Would you actually be willing to meet him?"

"Of course," she nodded, looking at me peculiarly. "Why wouldn't I be?"

I shrugged. "I don't know, some people aren't always comfortable with things like that."

"When is meeting family ever comfortable for anyone?" She joked truthfully, making me chuckle and agree. She then scooted closer, resulting in the wagging of Holly's tail at the assumption that he'd receivve more attention. Surprisingly, it was I that received love by way of a simple peck on my lips. My heart stuttered as she gave me a soft smile.

"But I'd love to meet him. And anyone in your family, as a matter of fact."

I gazed at her hopefully, not to mention in a little bit of surprise. Meeting parents was no short of a big deal in Korea and she knew that. That usually indicated something more special -- a relationship that was nothing but serious. "Yeah?"

She nodded, her smile widening. "Yeah."

It was regretful that she never did get to meet my family before she left for America. They would've loved her. But we both needed to be back on-property for work that day before any one of my family members returned home and that was really the best opportunity we'd ever have. It was a huge disappointment to me but I just hoped that the universe was telling me that waiting was better. If anything, it could potentially have been additional motivation not to give up on each other after she'd leave for the States.

Unfortunately, amongst such happy moments in her last weeks of living in Korea, there had to be a fair share of unpleasant ones. That was just the way life worked. And the closer that we got to D-Day, the worse things seemed to get. A thick, anxious fog seemed to form around us with every passing day and it took a toll on our relationship every once in a while. We probably fought more in her last 31 days than we'd had in our entire time of knowing each other. We just weren't as easygoing as we normally were under such undesired circumstances.

Our friends would tell me that I was being too rough around the edges -- that I had suddenly gotten incredibly bitter. Anna would hear that she needed to be more understanding of how I was feeling. And in all honesty, we were listening to them. We just really weren't listening to each other anymore. It was too hard with such a disappointing fate looming over our heads.

It got to the point where were were almost just running through the motions of our relationship. I loved her and she loved me but it seemed like our spark had temporarily gone out. We were just too stressed. And unfortunately, her tears weren't triggering much of a change in my actions anymore. They just gave me a heavier heart. I still regret how long it took me to wake the hell up.

"Hey, hyung! Wanna go out to get some food -- whoa, why the long face?"

Hoseok had walked into my studio assuming he'd find me hard at work. Instead, he was met with a very grumpy young man, his chair pushed back and his frowning eyes set on his phone. And that young man was me. I glanced up at him.

"What are you doing here?"

"Ouch," he joked, unaffected by my savage nature as he leaned against the doorframe. "As I was just saying, I was wondering if you wanted to get something to eat. I thought you could use some time out of the crypts for a little bit."

I thought about it, looking to my phone, then to my computer, and then back to Hoseok. I was hungry. And I was terrible at solving that issue without anyone dragging me away to do so. So I nodded.

"Yeah, I'll come," I agreed, rising to my feet. I did need to step out of my bubble for a bit.

"Good, because everyone else I asked said no."

I raised an eyebrow at him. "So, what you're saying is I'm a last resort?"

"Yep," he nodded, leading the way out of the studio. This time, I was unaffected. We walked quietly by each other's sides, eavesdropping on every faint beat we heard as we passed certain studio doors.

"Is everything actually alright, though? You seemed down when I came in."

"You know, you never comment on when I'm happy," I tried to deflect.

"Because you should always be happy," he countered almost as quickly as I would've. I guess I couldn't expect to have known him all these years without rubbing off on him in some way. "So, what's up? Is it Anna?"

"Yeah," I admitted honestly, not even bothering to hide anything anymore, especially not from Hoseok. "Has she said something to you?"

"Well, no. She just always brings out the strongest emotions in you," he pointed out. "But I did see her a few minutes ago."

"You did?"

"Yeah, she's one of the people I asked to come out with me. And clearly, she rejected me," he explained nonchalantly. "Why do you sound so surprised?"

"Because I've been trying to talk to her all day. We got into an argument last night and I think she's still pissed off. She won't answer any of my texts."

"Another argument?" Hoseok questioned warily? I must've looked pathetic when I nodded. It would've reflected how I felt.

He paused for a moment, his lips pouting out in thought. Then, he shook his head. "I don't think she's still on that, hyung. I obviously don't know what went on last night but I didn't get that vibe from her. She just seemed really stressed. She was all over the place when I found her running to her old dorm with a few boxes."

"Her old dorm?" I questioned. Boxes?

"Yeah, she said she's been packing stuff up all day so I wouldn't worry too much. She's probably just really overwhelmed and with the phone, you know her. She's either glued to it or has it laying in a different room where she won't look at it for hours. She's honestly the worst with that."

That made more sense. Although we argued last night, I didn't think it was bad enough for her to ignore me. But why couldn't she have told me what was going on instead of making me worry?

"Hey, Hoseok-"

"You're bailing on me, aren't you?"

"...maybe."

He groaned dramatically, his face contorting with just as much drama.

"Do you have to? As one of Anna's best friends, I think I can ask: can't she wait?"

I was abot to give him a very easy no when another thought came to me.

"What if you come with me? You can wait outside while I talk to her and then I'll convince her to come with us to eat after," I bargained. "Then, you'll have double the company."

"Ugh, do I really want to third wheel with you guys?"

"Why not? You do it all the time," I pointed out, calling him out on his basic desire to be difficult on purpose. "Besides, I'm typically the third wheel when it's the three of us. Let's be real here."

He pressed his lips together before shrugging. "That's true. Alright, let's go get her, then."

With that, he was off to the girls' residence hall in a flash, leaving me to play catch up. Thankfully, there had been a change in our security provider at SKEES, creating the opportunity for the lobbies of the boys' and girls' residence halls to have universal keys, which was now the case.

We were in, up the elevator and in front of Anna's door in no time. It felt so weird being back there. For as infrequently as Anna went back to do anything but shower, I went back there a quarter as much. I didn't even know what to do next as I stood there in front of her door. Thankfully, Hoseok was quick to knock with no questions asked. As usual, it was Soo Jeon who answered the door.

"Anna?" She assumed knowingly. We nodded, giving her wry smiles before she let us inside. Hoseok took the liberty of starting a conversation with Soo Jeon and stuck with her to let me go do my thing. I was grateful to him, he wasn't really all that close to Soo Jeon. He just wanted to give me and Anna our privacy.

I navigated through the dorm that I hadn't been in since Anna's mini-album release party. I couldn't believe it that was nearly a year ago already. But more than a year's worth of things had happened in all that time. To think of all that had changed was truly bittersweet.

The first room I passed by was Chun Hwa and Anna's. I don't think I would've remembered it was hers had the room not looked so entirely forgotten. I immediately felt for Anna and her reluctance to return to her dorm after Chun Hwa's passing. It only took one glance at that room to be reminded that she was gone.

The only thing that I had to assume hadn't been there before was a big brown box sitting on the dresser. I approached it, curiosity driving me to look inside and see that there wasn't too much in it yet.

I reached my hand in, pulling out a rather large picture frame. In it was a photo collage of what must've been Chun Hwa and her family throughout the years. My eyes glanced around at the different images of her at various ages with various people, all of whom somewhat resembled her. On the bottom was a small note, written in both of her languages and signed by her parents. 'Good luck, Chun Hwa' in English and 'Work hard and be a star' in Korean.

I suddenly almost wished I hadn't snooped. That way, I wouldn't have been reminded that Chun Hwa's family had lost their only child. Always being so concerned with Anna's grief made me forget that horrifying truth. Accepting that your best friend had been murdered was hard. Accepting that your daughter had been murdered was worse. A rush of emotions reminiscent of those I'd felt in the wake of Chun Hwa's death began to hit me again.

The final blow came after more digging, against my better judgment, when the third or fourth picture frame I came across displayed something very similar to the first. It was another collage, though smaller in size and with the pictures printed directly onto the paper rather than taped. There were also only four pictures collaged in rather than a dozen or so, and in each one were faces that I very much recognized.

'Now you have a collage from your parents and your sisters," I read the writing at the bottom of the picture. It was then signed bby Anna, Soo Jeon and Dina.

Those three girls each had her own photograph with Chun Hwa in the collage, all of which looked like they had been taken at some point on their American tour based on the stage as the setting.

They all looked so happy, it almost radiated off the picture. The fourth photo was a shot of the four of them at the end of the concert's catwalk, their arms looped around each others' waists and shoulders. They were frozen in time in the photo, their laughing faces forever trained on each other. I wished in that moment that the moment could've frozen forever. That they were still happy and laughing with each other.

I forced myself to part with the picture, gently placing it back inside the box as if it was a delicate artifact. I hoped it wasn't destined to stay in there infinitely. Something so beautiful, more so than it was heartbreaking, deserved to be seen.

I glanced inside the box to see what else I could get a glimpse of when Anna stepped into the room, carrying an identical brown box in her arms. I instinctively stepped back from the dresser while she jumped at the sight of me, stopping short in her tracks in surprise.

"Yoongi," she breathed in relief. "You scared the out of me. What are you doing here?"

"Hoseok's here, too," I blurted under the awkwardness of being caught snooping through her friend's things. Her deceased friend, at that. I cringed internally.

Thankfully, she wasn't thinking into it as much as I was and chuckled. She joined me inside, resting the box down on the dresser before standing by my side. She looked down at the box thoughtfully.

"I told her family that I'd bring some of her things home with me," she explained. "You know, more valuable things. Director Jung will get rid of anything I leave behind in our room so I though I'd keep what should be kept."

I nodded, watching her carefully. These were typically the kinds of conversations that led to tears. "I agree."

She glanced inside of the box, humming and smiling at the sight of the items that had clearly been tampered with. I hadn't done the best job hiding my actions. She reached inside and pulled out the exact frame I had just put back in, looking at the images of herself and her friends with familiarity.

"You saw this?" She asked, lifting it slightly to bring it to my attention. I nodded once more, making her hum again. Her eyes did a once over the images she knew too well and I could see longing fill her entire being. "We look so happy."

"You do."

"And we were," she confirmed, the corners of her lips picking up in a bittersweet smile. "The pictures were from our first stop on the tour in Washington, D.C. I knew the photographers were going to get something good because we were just so damn excited. It was our first show on our own tour on home turf and it'd been ages since the girls had last been in the States. How could we not have been excited?"

I listened quietly, my eyes never leaving her face. I wanted to catch every emotion her words induced, every feeling.

"We decided that we'd surprise Chun Hwa with a collage just like the one her family had made before she moved here. We felt like we had quickly become another family to her so we needed a collage, too. As soon as we designed it, we asked Director Jung if he could arrange to get it printed and framed."

"Did she love it?" I asked in genuine curiosity. It was then that her smile became sad.

"She never got to see it," she admitted solemnly, her head dropping slighly. "Director Jung said he was friendly with the CEO of a company in Korea who'd have been happy to do the job for us as a gift so we agreed to wait to give it to her when we all got back. We just... didn't think that would be a problem."

I stared at her in a mixture of worry and sympathy as I could see her struggling with whatever was going on in her mind. She sighed, her eyes dropping down to her fumbling hands. She shook her head.

"I think about that day all the time," she continued in a softer voice. "How quickly I witnessed her disappear from me. I know she didn't die on site but you don't think about that when you're in the moment. All you can see is life fading away and it's the scariest and most helpless thing in the world."

My silence continued. I wasn't sure what to say yet. She had confided in me numerous times over the past few months but never like this. Talking about the day of the Dallas concert had become something like taboo -- something that was better left unspoken of. But the chance for her to finally reveal every last piece of her feelings was opening up to me and I wanted to know it all. I wanted to know so I could fully grasp the complete extent of her grief and be there for her entirely.

"I didn't once think about the fact that I could've been shot, too. That never once crossed my mind, even when the shooter kept shooting," she revealed, the information sending a chill down my spine. "The only thing I could focus on was that Chun Hwa was on the ground bleeding out and in pain. All I wanted to do was help her but I couldn't. I was useless."

"You were dragged off that stage, Anna. You couldn't have done anything, it was best that you were taken away," I finally piped up in reassurance, instinctively stepping closer to her. But she merely frowned, looking at me with clear frustration.

"I could've been there with her! I could've put pressure on the wound. Hell, I could've just held her hand! I could've talker her through it, told her everything was going to be okay. But she was all alone! In her last conscious moments of life, she was alone."

The tears I was expecting never came. Instead, I faced a shaking girl, her jaw tense and her hands clenched. And everything started to make sense.

"You're frustrated," I realized, holding her gaze firmly. "You're devastated and you're frustrated."

"I am," she said, a significant piece of her facade breaking away with her words. She turned her head away before she could cry, shaking it with shut eyes. "You just... you hear about these things happening in the world and you never expect them to happen to you. And when it does, you realize there's nothing you can do. That you're useless. And that feeling sticks with you forever."

As soon as I heard the cracks in her voice, I stepped in to take her into my arms. The feeling of her crying into my shoulder was more familiar than I'd ever hoped it would be but I let her release it all the same. It wasn't a heavy cry and it didn't last too long, telling me she just needed to let the last of her demons go. They were destined to surface at some point and I was glad it happened with me to be there to comfort her.

She wiped at her eyes as she pulled away from me slightly, though I still kept a warm grip on her waist. I kissed her cheek gently as she took a deep breath.

"I needed that," she admitted, looking at me sheepishly. "Thank you."

"Thank you for telling me all that," I returned sincerely. "I know it's something you'd rather not talk about but it's better that you did. And I'm proud of you for it."

She dropped her head in an attempt to hide how much my words had touched her. How much me just being there for her like that touched her. Her cheeks singed faintly and she bit back an emotional smile. I cupped her face in my hands and softly pulled it towards me so that our lips could meet. I then directed her up to meet my eyes.

"You're amazing. You know that, right?"

There was no way she could hide her blush then. Her expression screamed 'flustered' and I loved it.

"I honestly don't think I would know if you weren't here to remind me every day," she admitted.

"You're an idiot, then," I teased lightly before bringing her back into the warmth of my body, my arms wrapped tightly around her. She reciprocated the same affection.

"You told me once that I wouldn't lose you after I leave," she eventually spoke up, her voice muffled due to the way she was cuddled up against me. "Was that true?"

"It was and still is," I confirmed, her hair. "How could you expect me to let go of someone I love so much?"

She didn't ask anymore questions after that. She simply reached up to my face so she could kiss me and tell me that she loved me more than I would ever know. I took her word for it, understanding the feeling entirely.

Something in that moment told me that Anna was no longer fearful of connecting with her memories of Chun Hwa anymore. She wasn't afraid to step into her old room and reminisce while she still could. Maybe it was the fact that she was able to so willingly open herself up to me. Maybe it was because I could see how she truly wasn't the same fragile girl she had been months ago. She still grieved but she was allowed those emotions. So yeah, maybe it was one or even both of those things.

Or maybe it was the angel I felt smiling down at us, telling me that everything was going to be okay.