Later that day, we are walking along the bank of a nearby river, shrouded in the darkness of the evening which is slowly drawing in. We didn’t go back to Khun’s apartment after our fateful lunch because we instead chose to wander around the city, taking in the sights that I haven’t even had a chance to see even though I’ve been here for months now. We’ve walked pretty much all day, mostly aimlessly with no end destination in mind, taking the time to talk and talk about, well, us.

I suppose we’ve had a lot of talking to do, because I don’t even remember paying attention to how we got here, walking along the side of this river.

I’ve looped my arm securely around Khun’s, as if I’m afraid all this isn’t real. As if he’s just going to disappear, like he did in my dream. I’ve had to pinch myself several times to check that I’m awake, evoking much laughter from Nichkhun. If it wasn’t for the warmth I could feel emanating from his body, or the texture of the sleeve of his rough woollen coat against my hands, I still don’t think I would believe it.

I hear Khun let out a short laugh, and I look up at his face from the corner of my eye.

“I’m really not going to vanish into thin air, Woo.” He smiles. He still doesn’t quite look so sure about all this, his face slightly apprehensive, though he still manages to be willing to try things out.

“I don’t know,” I laugh, “I’ve waited long enough for this…”

I squeeze his arm in disbelief, feeling his muscle tense up beneath my fingers. Surprised, I look up at him.

“Sorry…” He breathes with a huff of air, “It’s been awhile since someone has cared like this. Since, you know…” He trails off, his lips turning down into a frown.

I stop walking, causing him to cease too, due to our connected limbs. I move my hand to rest on his shoulder comfortingly, and say softly, “I know…” with an encouraging smile.

I spot an empty bench nearby, overlooking the water, and guide Khun towards it. Once we are sat down, I notice that there is no one else nearby, so it is fairly peaceful. Quite frankly, Khun deserves some tranquillity in his life after what he has been through.

“Khun, why did you accept me all those months ago?” I say, taking his hand into my own gently. I place my palm over the back of his hand, and slowly brush my thumb over it - knowing his anxiety over the situation, I don’t want to scare him too much already.

He furrows his bushy eyebrows, saying, “I thought you already knew? I saw a lot of potential in you so I took you under my wing and taught you all I know.”

“Not that; I meant as your friend…”

He hums whilst nodding, and twists his hand so that we now touch palm-to-palm, intertwining our fingers. I look down at them, happy that I can now experience these moments, no matter how small, after waiting for what seemed like years. Knowing that he is comfortable enough to do that at least rests my nervous heart.

“Honestly?” He began, the tone of his voice raising slightly, “I saw something else in you too back then. I didn’t know how, well I still don’t really, but whenever you’re around you seem to calm me in some way that even Ji-eun can’t - and I’ve known her for years!”

I smile at that; it's a satisfying answer enough, but he continues regardless. “You’ve managed to show me the light at the end of the tunnel.”

I can’t help but agree. Though I don’t think he’s quite reached it yet, I think I’m starting to have a positive influence on the way Nichkhun sees the world, and there really is an end in sight. It makes me incredibly happy when I see his face, which used to be full of hidden despondency that he used to keep concealed from the world but every so often now, I see that replaced with a warm cheerfulness or joy.

“Thank you, Woo.” He says, completely out of the blue. My eyes raise to meet his, which have a kind and warm gaze, despite the cool breeze which blows his hair and causes his skin to have goose bumps.

“For what?” I say.

“For just always being there.” He squeezes my hand, “For being there to pick me up when something goes wrong, and for supporting me even though we haven’t even known each other that long.”

It's true. We have only known each other for a matter of mere months, but already it feels like a lifetime. A lifetime since I started loving him. I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Its at these words that it truly strikes me how I feel about Khun. I knew it before, I’ve known it a long time, though I’ve never really put it into words. I’ve confirmed it now within my mind - that I really love him. I really do. I yearn for nothing more than to be constantly wrapped in his embrace, to embrace him back equally as affectionately, and to be able to kiss him breathless without restraint. But I know that that’s not what he needs right now.

Right now, his poor heart and mind just need my support, and my love coming in other forms. In gestures, yes, but also in encouragement. I need to be his cornerstone when he’s crumbling, and his flotation device in times when he’s sinking under pressure. The lovey-dovey stuff will come at the right time, I’m sure of it.

It’s enough that he has allowed me into his heart this much so soon.

“You don’t have to be thankful, baby,” I say softly, testing the waters with the nickname. I want to know how he’ll respond to it - if he’s comfortable with it already. To my relief, he doesn’t seem to react in the way I was expecting, with a grimace or even a flinch.

He just smiles, nothing more complicated than that. I decide that he must be okay with it, considering that we are an actual couple now.

I still can’t quite believe that.

I feel a weight on my upper arm suddenly, and when I look in that direction, I see that Khun has rested his head on my shoulder. His eyes have fluttered closed, a sign of how tired he must feel, not just physically but mentally too. Our hands are still connected, but his grip on my fingers becomes more lax as he relaxes, releasing a long sigh that to me sounds almost content.

“Of course I have to say thanks,” he mutters, “I wouldn’t ever want to think I was taking you for granted.”

Later on I would realise that it was these moments I had the most self restraint. As much as I wanted to respond with some greatly passionate and romantic gesture, I must have realised that going slow and steady was the way forward when it came to Nichkhun’s feelings. Nothing means more to me than Khun’s emotional wellbeing.