Fear

Smudges
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WARNING: Mentions of suicide in this chapter. Please read with caution.

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When you got home that night, you had locked yourself in your room and even as Johnny pleaded to talk to you from the other end of your door, you didn’t make a sound hoping that it will fool Johnny into thinking that you’re asleep.

There’s nothing for us to talk about.

That night, you fell asleep facing the razor blade now stained with your blood as you thought of all the circumstances that forced you to take such drastic actions upon yourself.

-

As Johnny walked past your room the next morning, he couldn't help himself but to sneak a glance at your door that was still closed at the moment, granting him no access to your form that resides at the other side of the door.

What he did notice was, the absence of the sun rays that would peek through the slit at the bottom of your door by this time of the day, normally casting your white floor in a shade of gold.

Moving the sleeve of his button down shirt up, he glanced at the analogue watch sitting on his wrist, the thin metallic lines forming a perfect right angle between the number 9 and 12.

That's odd, she's always awake by this timing.

Stepping back into his door just adjacent to yours, he walked to the back of his room as he pushed the glass panels open, revealing the balcony that showed a direct view to your balcony next door. True enough, your identical glass panes of the balcony remained shut.

Walking back out briskly, Johnny rapped his knuckles lightly against your door, only to be met with silence. Twisting the metal knob of your door, the metal cool against his skin, he pushed your door open slightly and the first thing that stood out to him was the strong smell of copper in the room.

That's what blood usually smells like...

Then, the gears in his brain clicked together and your back view facing him that granted him no access to your face only served to scare him more. Making his way past your bed, the smell of copper got stronger as he got closer to you a

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Comments

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LiebeBlue #1
Finally someone made a story with happy ending mean that the protagonists are not always to be together. I love your work, the way you write and your idea. Thank you for making this story.
Kuro_Wol
#2
Chapter 31: I BINGED. Oh damn wow. This was really good, I can see why you're proud of it. You know how much I love slice of life and the message you're putting across in this could not be more true - our past wounds may heal over time but the scars never fade away. And sometimes we have to come to terms with that, even if it's a painful reality to accept. Really enjoyed this one, Del! Hit me in the feelz
FlareJayna #3
Chapter 31: I absolutely love this story and this is definitely one of the most well written fanfic i have ever read. I do really like the plot twist and the ending. At first i do hope that they would end up together but i guess it just isnt right for lydia to live on with the fear and the doubt she felt. This fanfic really get me thinking about life and i hope you will continue writing such beautiful fanfics.
superdupper
#4
Chapter 31: This is such a beautiful story. Huhuhu I know that Lydia will be happy if she didnt end up with johnny because johnny had hurt her in the past. It's a bit sad to she didnt end up with Johnny but that's their fate . but really this story is written very well author nim. Really love it
Love_jennie
#5
Chapter 31: Absolutely the best fanfic ive ever read! I love the plot twist
marry_kim
#6
Chapter 31: This is amazing
stacy_lu #7
*ill continue here :))
At first, I didn't like the fact that she decided to leave him after the precious time they had in HK. But slowly a thought came to my mind saying it's not right as well for her to be in a relationship where she doesn't feel right. And partially, it's really not fair for him as well to be in a relationship where his love is doubted, when he's obviously giving his all to her. Its funny how my thoughts immediately went to reality, wondering if someone, somewhere out there living a life exactly like this, did they choose to leave like she did? Or stay and break herself more and his heart along the away? I'll never know. But if I was to be her, I'd do the exact same. Because if two souls are meant to be together, they will always find their way back to each other no matter what. If not, you just have to learn to let go. No matter how hard it gets. If not for the other person, do it for yourself. The void in your soul doesn't always has to be filled with someone else's presence. Sometimes the void can only be filled with your own self. Someone wise once said, you can only love someone else fully, if you learn to love yourself first. Thank you for sticking to your original storyline. If it wasn't for the fact that you went along with this ending, I would've sworn, I'd forget that our feelings- what feels right to the heart and soul- matters the most if happiness is what you seek for in this often mistaken world.
stacy_lu #8
Hai author-nim.
First of all I want to applaud your awesome writing. The way you write your story was really different from the fanfics that are available these days. It almost felt like I was back in my teenage days where I was awake in the middle of the night in my bedroom reading fics that would make me feel like someone was gripping my heart so tight, almost breaking it to pieces. And i didn't mind it at all. These type of fics were always my fav. It's was really an eyeopener and to be honest, just what this tired soul of mine longs for. I'm really glad I found Smudge. I haven't read something that made me look back in life for quite awhile now. Your story made me think alot.
prism7ths #9
Chapter 31: thank you for writing such a great rollercoaster ride of emotions story >< i really love it, all the sweet angsty vibes in the story. hopefully there are more amazing stories to come in the future ^^ have a great year ahead author nim, may God bless you. xo
babychanwoo
#10
Chapter 31: OMG THIS STORY IS SO GOOD AND U BROKE MY HEART BUT IT'S OKEY,I LOVE U i mean i love how u make my kokoro break HEHEHE<3.i hope u planning for a new jhonny story:)