Three
When Two Poles Meet
"Ah, it would be nice if I had chi-maek. The sea is too pretty to look at." Hayi played with the dry sand. It was still warm, felt like it melts right against her frigid hands.
The beach, it was exquisite. The sands were smooth and still, as if it had been long inhabited by humans.
I guess people doesn't know about this place yet. Well, that's good news. I got this place by myself.
"Ah, this feels nice." She lied down the warm, soft and supple sand. It felt like she had two shells against her ears; all she can hear was the sound of the waves rushing. She can hear splashes of water and gusts of wind. This is my silence.
I wonder what they're fighting about now. I should've brought Soohyun with me. I bet they're really frustrated.
She remembered her Mom's face when she saw his Dad with his woman. It hurts to see her like that. It was more than painful, it was beyond cruel and agonizing. She saw how her Mom adored his Dad. She saw how much her Mom cared for her. She can't forget her Mom's sobs at bed during nights. She saw agony in her Mother's eyes powerful enough to drown Hayi in the depths of her sadness.
Hayi chuckled as she felt a cold liquid flow down her temples. There it goes, a teardrop she didn't wish to fall. She chuckled, all by herself. "Are you not tired of crying, Hayi?" Her chuckles turned to sobs, sobs, sobs, cries and blubs.
Her eyes were red, all from crying and crying and lack of sleeping. Behind her eyes were long and vast waves of emotion humanity won't even dare to acknowledge. She was lost between her thoughts.
She wished to get out of that dinning house, she wished to let her ears rest and enfold silence. Little did she know, silence was not always a nice thing. Her mind does wonders, drives her off to a nasty wonderland where she doesn't have any control of. Sure, silence. Silence gives you time to reflect, to think about your thoughts. Silence is sometimes evil; because when it's silent, your mind is at peace. Peace doesn't exist.
Silence is like the sea muffling a ship. Silence eats you up whole; even your emotions are hushed. The sea devours a lone ship until it settles down no-one-knows-where. Silence envelops you until you are muted and no one dares to hear your plea.
When it's silent, everything you hadn't thought about will all come surging like mad, rabid, wayward waves who longs to touch the dry sand.
She sat upright, wiped off the tears and brushed off the sand stuck in her hair.
"Ah, I really should stop stressing myself out. I came here for refreshment,"
Hayi stared at the lovely waves. "You lucky waves, don't even have something to worry about." She threw a pebble across the waves. Poor pebble.
She stood up and removed her shoes. It wouldn't be complete if she won't even take a dip.
"Ah, that's chilly. I should've brought clothes." She walked until her ankles were covered, until the waves reaches her shins, until her knees were submerged. She wore shorts; that was probably the best decision she had ever made her entire life.
It was suddenly windy, and the water was freezing. The sun had already set, and the stars were appearing.
"Are you trying to drown yourself?"
She looked back, and a man was standing, just by the shore, beside her shoes. He had his hands inside the front pockets of his pants. He looked incredibly pale with his black sweater.
Sighing, Hayi looked forward again, up to the sky and replied, "I wasn't. I'm just trying to appreciate the sea."
She took another glance behind, "Can you swim, Mister?"
"Yeah?" The man andswered with a monotone voice.
"Then watch me from there," She took another step. "You can come over, too," and then took another one, until the water have reached her thighs and hem of her shorts. "You really aren't trying to kill yourself, right? You look..."
"I look what?"
"I don't know, probably, suicidal?"
She stopped midstep, and wiggled her hand against the chilly water. "Just watch me from there, alright?"
The man did not reply. Hayi smiled. The sky was much prettier from here. The cold water felt like blankets. No, it was much more comforting than a snoggy blanket.
"I'm just going to sit here, then."
"Ahjussi, why are you here?"
The man scoffed, and shaked his head, "I'm pretty sure I am not way old."
"What are you doing here?"
"I came for fresh air. Life's been giving me all her s, like I look like a ing trash can."
Hayi smiled, not because he was also as miserable as her, but because of his choices of words. "You curse a loads. I can sense a pretty stressful life," Hayi turned around to find the man sitting with his legs straightened. The waves comes up the sands, up to the man's feet.
"Is it bad?" The man questioned. Hayi did not answer. Those sympathetic people aren't surely kind, though, just as this man. Someone cursing doesn't guarantee an evil demeanor.
Driving for three hours had Hanbin reach his exhaustion stage. Driving is easy, however, being alone in your car for three hours gave him enough time to wallow in his thoughts. His eyes were blurry, tears from nowhere were building up in his eyes. Oh, how many times he almost hit a pole, or almost fell off the road barricade because he wasn't thinking straight.
He felt more alone. As if alone isn't alone already. He was alone, but he felt more alone.
He felt like he'd reached rock-bottom with an anchor tightly knotted around his waist. He can't rise.
"Is it bad?"
Hanbin was staring at the girl standing against the raging waves. She shrugged her shoulders, "I guess not. I do kind things and I'm not that kind either."
"You cuss, and I'm sure you're not that bad either." She was now walking towards his position. Hanbin tapped the space on his left.
Just as she sat down, Hanbin reaches out his hand. "Nice to meet you,"
She was pretty startled, but she reached for Hanbin's hand, anyway. "Nice to meet you, too. Do you mind if I do not tell you my name?"
"I won't tell you mine, either," The corner of Hanbin's lips twitched to a smile when the girl rolled her eyes.
"I think my parents are having a divorce."
"Sorry to hear that. My girlfriend cheated on me." Hanbin gave off a bitter smile.
"Sorry to hear that. Is that why you're here?" She was trying hard to remove the sand from her damp feet, but wiping it off doesn't help.
"Mm-hmm," Hanbin nodded. "Gave me a bit of a heartbreak."
"A bit, you say? You totally look like a wreck."
"No. I lied. Gave me a whole f-cking lot of a heartbreak," The girl chuckled again, as if Hanbin's cursing was a joke. Hanbin smiled, too.
"That's more like it." Hayi retorted.
There was another silence.
"We've been together for four years," Hanbin hummed, looking straight at the sea.
"That's a long one. How'd you do it?" Hayi squeezed.
"I don't know. It's really a long one. I guess I didn't notice the years. I was in-love."
The girl nudged Hanbin with her elbow, "That was cheesy."
"Shut up. Have you ever been in a relationship?" Hanbin looked at the girl. She was just staring straight to the sea.
"Guess," She shrugged her shoulders and grinned.
"No way, singe since birth?" Hanbin chuckled. "Yeah, single since egg days."
"The unbeatable single girl," Hanbin teased.
"You don't need to rub it on my face, dumped man." Hanbin clasped his chest and acted as if he was shot. The girl laughed at his antics.
Hanbin smiled, "ouch, quite a revenge. I guess that'll be our name."
"Yeah, so. Since you don't want me to know your name."
"Like you want to tell me yours,"
"Why are you here, dumped man?" Hayi asked the man beside him.
"I'm sure you've asked and I've answered that, precisely."
Hayi nodded, "Yeah, but I want a truth?"
"You want a truth?" The man stared at nowhere for a few moments, as if digging up himself for a better answer. "I don't know. I drank, I drove and ended up here."
"You, you had a drink and you drove all the way here?" Hayi was a little baffled. How did he make it til here without even a scratch?
"A few bottles, a few, I swear."
"Yeah, so, I drove here. I don't know why here. I just... I just wanted to be someplace else where my heart doesn't hurt so much."
"You've come to the right place. This is healing, dumped man."
The man chuckled and shaked his head, "I guess I'm really going by that name."
"It does match you well, doesn't it?"
"Don't rub it to my face, unbeatable single girl." Hayi scrunched her nose in distaste and they both chuckled, as their names were both childish and senseless.
"Four years is indeed a long time, isn't it?" Hayi stated, "I can't imagine how much heart break it would bring."
"Take a look at me,"
Hayi twisted her head and looked at him, he was quite good-looking. "Yeah?"
"This much heartbreak, if you can see it in my face."
"I can definitely see it in your eyes. They look... They look really dull and lifeless, if I may say."
He was playing with the sand, making small balls with damp grains. "Actually, I shouldn't be here."
"What do you mean,?"
"I mean, not really here. We... We really loved the beach, so we'd ocassionally sneak out. You know, just walk around and go back home during midnight."
"You must've really loved her, huh? Even at break-up, you went here."
Then, he started throwing the small balls he made. He threw it all to the sea, he made another ones, and threw it all out again.
"Everything seems to remind me about her. At this rate, I don't even know if I can go on if everything I see gives me a pain."
"You can do it." The man froze, "How?"
Hayi scrunched her nose, and shrugged. "I don't know, too. Probably pretend and smile like nothing ever happened?"
"As if that's supposed to help." He threw a small ball of sand toward Hayi's thighs. Her thighs were still damp, and the sand were stuck.
"Everyone does it. Everyone pretends. I do it a lot of times. I pretend, I smile, I laugh, I do not think about the problems."
"And then one day, I just woke up okay. Long runs of pretending made me think like I actually did okay."
"Fake it, till you make it."
Hayi gave the man a big pat on his arms, "Precisely. Exactly what I'm talking about. You see, maybe one day, you'll be able to go on beaches that you won't even have a slight thought about that cheating ."
The man laughed, really laughed, "Really, that cheating ! Hey, hearing that from you sounds a lot comforting."
"One second you were saying how much you love her, then now you're agreeing with me calling her that?"
"Oh no, my heart still leans to her. That lovely cheating ," Hayi shook her head.
"Let it go, man. Are you going to live like that?"
"What~?" The man said in a high voice.
"Don't ask me. Ah, you're really head over heels."
"I miss her, a lot. I miss her more than any other word can describe. I miss her, a lot. I want to see her. I miss her that I'm about to explode if I don't see her right now. I miss her," With every sentence, the man punched the poor sand.
"I'm sure she doesn't miss you."
" you."
"I'm sure you'd prefer to her, but you too." Hayi replied, she even added her finger.
The man laughed again, "Wow! I didn't imagine I'd see that middle man from you!"
"Shush, I've reached beyond my cursing limit per day, don't make me say another word, dumped man."
"But really tho, you may miss her a lot, but you deserve more than what she gave you."
"You sound too romantic for a girl who's never had a boyfriend. And a family falling apart, added to that."
"Shut up."
"You know why I ran away from Seoul?" Hayi glanced at the man, who was still playing with the sand.
She just stared at him, "Yeah, why?"
"There were a lot of couples, and it makes me want to punch them."
"I'm sure a lot would also want to punch you two when you were still together."
"Yeah, sure. We'd go on dates everywhere. We held hands on the streets, we'd make out on alleys, on restau--"
Hayi gave the man a powerful punch on his arms, "Too much information! That's disgusting! Stop!"
Chuckling, the man massaged the place where Hayi punched him. "Yeah, you were right. I'd rather kiss a dying log."
"Really disgusting. You sound too bitter for someone who actually spent three years loving just a girl."
"How about you, really? Never had a boyfriend?"
"Why do you doubt that?" Hayi looked at the man with furrowed brows, "does it look like I'm lying?"
"I'm sure you've had one. There's not one person who did not even have a single love interest."
"Well, there's one, and that's me."
wo ai ni, people
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