Bobby was whining; Hanbin didn't want to go home. 

          Hanbin smelled of disgusting smoke and liquor. His hair was pointing in all possible ways. His eyes, used to be full of love, passion and happiness — was now empty, dark and sullen. He blankly looked at Bobby, who was looking straight at his eyes. "Hanbin, everybody's worried. I'm the only one who knows you're here, I'm pretty damn sure your mom's about to notify the ing police," Bobby bleated. Hanbin dropped a small smile and looked at his scarred hands.

          His hands were still soaked with bloodstains. Nothing but his own blood. He was having a break-up talk with Jennie earlier. He was furious, mad, fired-up and bitter. He knew something was wrong between them knew something was wrong with her. She wasn't like what she was before. What Hanbin made him more livid was her reason. Her completely ridiculous, absurd and outrageous reason: She was sick of him.

          What made him extremely rancorous was that she lied. She left him for Mino. She couldn't say that directly. She couldn't tell him the distinct reason. She couldn't utter those words because she didn't want to hurt him, as if she hasn't killed him multiple times already. She didn't admit, because she knows he'll eventually find out anyway.

          "Hanbin, can you say something instead of bottling, lumping it all in your head. I swear man, you won't want to explode," Bobby shaked his shoulders and made a pouty face to the sulking man. He straightened his face, seeing Hanbin did not even stir from his position.

          "Bin," Bobby's voice was dull. "Please don't isolate yourself, specially right now."

          Hanbin was tracing the long scar in his knuckles. He was thankful for Bobby's sympathy and support. "I know, Jiwon. It's just that,"

          "How can she trash and throw me away like that. Three years costs one to end it." Kicking the table infront of him, Hanbin's last bottle of Heineken tipped over. Bobby slapped Hanbin's thigh and picked up the now-empty-bottle.

          "Take all your s to bottles of soju, man. Heineken never goes to waste like this," Hanbin sniggered and threw a crumpled tissue to his friend's face.

          A round of applause was heard after the band finished playing their encore song. It was a Friday noon, yet the pub still has a few customers. This is why Hanbin liked this place, it's not always crowded, but it's not always isolated either.

          "Should I call Jinhwan over? He's probably finished with his class right now."

          Hanbin likes having other people's presence. He doesn't like being alone, which is why he's always with Bobby and Jinhwan. And of course, there are instances in a man's life that he's better alone than having a company.

          Where should I go, then? I want to see Jennie.

          I miss her so much. I want to see Jennie.

          "Oh, do you remember Jang Hanna? The one Jinhwan was crushing on? I heard she just broke up with Seungyoon. That bastard Jinhwan must be planning his next move, then."

          I should probably go see her. Doesn't matter if she pushes me away. I just want to see her.

          I want to hold, I want to hug her. I want her in my arms right now. Jennie...

          "I feel like I'm talking to an statue. Yeah, I should probably phone Jinhwan. Where's my phone- Oh, yeah, here."

          She's probably with… With… With Mino, right now.

          "Should we just go to his house and play games? Ah no, since you're not even moving an inch, I doubt you'll come with me. I'll just tell that midget to come here."

          Or she's probably at home. Yeah, she's at home. It's… It's 4 PM, I'm sure she just got home by now."

          "Let's order a few more drinks. I already texted Jinhwan, he'd probably be here in a little while."

          I want to see her. I have to see her. I miss you, Jennie.

          "Heineken? Or you'd probably like a stronger one? You need a stronger one so you'll pass out and I can carry you home." Bobby scratched his nape and nudged Hanbin. "How about—"

           They caught a few of the neighboring tables' attention. "Kim Hanbin! Where the are you going?! Hey, wait up!"

          Hanbin grabbed his jacket hanged by the couch's backrest. His car keys were in his very own hands. A bystander would likely guess that there had been an emergency, an accident or something really, really important. Hanbin walked ran as if his whole life depended on it.

          Bobby left a hundred dollar bill on the table and ran after Hanbin. "Wait! Hanbin, where are you going!?"

          Bobby just stepped a foot across the threshold, but Hanbin already had his hand on his steering wheel. He swiftly drove away. 

          "That sly fox. He didn't even pay for his drinks." Bobby was left alone, sitting in the pavement. 

          He was roaming the busy streets of Seoul. He was driving like his life depended on it. Tapping his finger against the steering wheel, Hanbin was unsure how he'll talk to Jennie. What if she really didn't want him anymore? Turning right to another street, he thought of what he did wrong. 

          How do you stop yourself from thinking? How do you stop yourself from hurting? My head hurts, my heart aches, my sanity is about to explode. 

          Hanbin stopped his car. How he wishes his mind would stop replaying everything. How do you stop yourself from thinking? He slammed his hands against the steering wheel, and a honk startled Hanbin himself.

          He continued driving. Slowly, slowly, slowly until he reached Jennie's street. A lot of memories from the past three years replayed again in his mind. 

          How he hid behind the lampposts to surprise her. How he parked his newly-bought car infront of her, honking and surprising Jennie. How he used to wait infront of her gate so they will go to school together. He missed those times when he used to bring her home. The memory when they first cleaned his muddy, dirty and brown car, those happy memories. He missed carrying her in his back. How do you stop yourself from thinking?

          Hanbin unlocked his car door when he caught a glimpse of Jennie coming out the gate. He can't help but smile. It's as if all the pain dissipated. 

  "Jennie." His voice was husky, soft and melancholic. "Hey,"

          "Bin," She looked utterly shocked. She didn't expect to see Hanbin just after a few hours of their break-up.

         "What... What are you doing here?" She didn't expect to see him here, right when she was with Mino.

          "I just..." He stopped in his tracks. "...came to see you," Mino, with a wily smile plastered on his face — he appeared right behind Jennie.

          Jennie grabbed Hanbin by the elbows. It was an abrupt move, that the quartet of roses he was holding fell from his hand. "What..." She looked angered. Her stiff voice, Hanbin's thoughts replayed everything again.

          "I thought I made everything clear earlier!?" Jennie pulled Hanbin towards his car. She was speaking in a low, but authoritative voice. "B.I, I made everything clear. I made everything clear, didn't I? Mino..." Hanbin was staring at Jennie's face, yet on his peripheral view, he can see Mino with both hands on his pocket, staring at the two of them.

          "Yeah, Mino... I was going to say something, but nevermind." He brushed of Jennie's hand on his elbow, and pointed at the dead red roses lying on the middle of the crisp, smooth pavement. "I'm going. At least accept my roses. It's four, I hope you'll notice. Burn it, or throw it away. Whatever you wish, just like you did with me."

          "...Bin,"

          "Please don't call me with that name." He eyed Mino, who was still looking straight at him. "I'm going. Sorry, I don't even know why I went here."

          Hanbin slammed his car door shut. Why in the world did he choose to go out there?

          He drove again. Where was he going? Nowhere. He's scattered, he's feeling lost, he is lost.

          He's feeling upset. He's angry. He's destroyed; why is he not good enough?

          He's on a cliff. He's on the verge of falling. He's hanging by a thread. One more gust of wind and he's gone. 

 The road was lone, only the departing bus dared to interrupt silence.

          She's probably in Gyeonggi, or in Gangwon, or somewhere in between. She didn't care. The scenery was too beautiful to even think about going home. The sun was just like everyone else, it's hiding and concealing itself after a long day. Little did the sun know, after hiding, all came darkness everybody hates. The day goes quieter, the world mutes itself. So often, when silence came, there goes a noisier voice inside Hayi's head.

          The sky was orange and pink, it was a majestic view that Hayi just stood there in the middle of the road, looking with awe.