It was early morning when they decided to go down and head home. Home. Hayi wondered if there's really such thing as home. Home, as others would describe, is somewhere you're comfortable. Your abode. A place that would lovingly embrace you and ease your worries. If that's how you define home, does she have any place to go to? 

          Hanbin sighed as he stepped on the gas. It was nice to escape the bustling city. Unfortunately, they had to continue with their lives. 

          "Hey, do you have a charger? My phone's almost dead." 

          "Oh shoot, I don't have one." Hanbin scratched his head, "You can use mine if you need to make a call."

          "I think I'll need to call my sister. I'm sure she's really worried." Hayi took his phone from the dashboard shelf. She clicked the home button once, and then twice. "I specifically said mine's dead, and so is yours." 

"Dead too?"

"You don't say?" 

          "Ha, ha. Funny. Let's find some charging station or a phone booth." He took his phone from Hayi's hand and tossed it back atop the dashboard, earning a grimace from the companion. 

          "I don't get why people like you just toss your phones around like that." Hanbin laughed, as Hayi blew and shined her phone screen, wiping it off with the hem of her shirt. "I totally treat mine as a treasure. Look, no dents and no scratches."

          "There's this thing, when you do this, you'll feel incredibly rich." He turned his face once to her side, "Trust me, tested and proven."

          He lets go of the gear shift, and held out his hand. "Let's try." 

          He wiggled his palm in the air, waiting for the cold touch of Hayi's phone. "Rich people do this."

          "Slowpoke," he grabbed her phone from her hand. Hayi gave him a questioning look as he displayed her phone right in front of her eyes. 

          Much surprise, Hanbin threw her phone across the dashboard too.

"I'll so kill you!" Hayi shreaked.

          Hanbin laughed and soon after, he grunted as he earned multiple hits from Hayi. "I don't have money to replace this if it gets broken, you damn moron."

          "The dashboard is cushioned, you got to chill." 

"Why are you so petty?"

"Why are you so petty?" He imitates her. "Why are you so hot-tempered?"

          "Why are you so hot-tempered?" She exaggerates facial expressions, which Hanbin found really hilarious. "Having too much fun, are we?" 

         One of the best things about being adult is this: acting petty and childish. No one really mentions it, but doing this uplifts someone's mood, and annoys the other one.

          "Can't help. Your facial expressions are funny." Hayi knew he meant it as a joke, but she's tired and she has no energy left to argue. "I mean, in a good way. I mean it in a good way."

          "Good way, your face."

          "Seriously, pissed?" Hanbin tried to poke Hayi's sides, but she managed to push away his hand.

          "Okay chill, I know. I'm just," she yawned and covered with both hands. "…tired."

          "You can sleep." He gestured and pointed towards Hayi's door, "There's a thing right there below your hand, you can incline the chair of you want."

          "And wake-up not knowing where we are? No thanks, I'm still thinking you're a murderer or a serial killer." She complained but what did she do? She inclined her seat anyways. 

          Hanbin laughed, suddenly really had the urge to throw her out the window. She can be annoying but funny at the same time, can't she? "Wow, you're welcome. I'm giving you a ride home, you are totally welcome."

"No worries. I'm very much welcome."

          "Considering your tiny height and I'm thinking that you weigh a little less than 50 kg." He's lightly tapping the steering wheel matching the low hum of the radio music. 

          "Is that an insult to my figure or have you been checking me out the whole day?" She did a playful wink, immediately cringing at it herself. She rested her head against the window pane. She wanted to rest her feet up the dashboard but that would be rude. 

"Check out, my . I'm saying I could easily throw you out of my car." 

"You wouldn't." 

"I would."

"I have your plate number and your fingerprints."

"Well, I'm thinking I wouldn't." 

          Hayi laughed, snapping her fingers. "So indecisive."

          Hanbin laughed too. How he wishes the world is always like this? Carefree. He remembered things, nasty things, but he still showed Hayi his smile. 

          He held the steering while with tight grips, keeping his eyes focused on the road ahead. 

          "Are you okay?" Hayi asked while fidgeting with her seatbelt. 

          "Huh? Oh, yes. Yes, of course. Why?"

          "Nothing. You just became silent all of a sudden."

          Hanbin scratched his ear, twice. "I'm just a little sleepy, that's all."

          "I see. We haven't slept a wink."

          "Do you regret it?"

          Hayi became blank-headed. She opened to say something, but ended up saying nothing at all.

          "No, of course I do not," Hayi chimed, "I would be regretting all my life if I regret anything at all."

"Hey, can a person fall out of love?" 

          "I guess so?" She played with the seatbelt, watching the trees as it passed by. Away from home is such a wonderful place. 

          Can a person fall out of love? If she'd eventually fall out of love, why would she fall in love at the first place? Why must there be so much complications about love? Can't a person love and love, and receive nothing but love? It's a child's question. But you know, love bears everything. You love even if you know it will hurt you. You love even though you're hurting. You love even though you've been hurt. Love encompasses everything in your life: that erratic emotions, happiness, sweetness, pain, sorrow, everything.

          "Yes. Falling out of love can happen. I'm a living witness to that. My parents literally have fallen from the cliff of love."

          "Why?" He sounds so broken, so shattered. Hayi thought he would be less emotional today, since he had released it all last night. No, he didn't. Maybe the pain he's feeling would never go away.

          "I don't know. Nobody knows, buddy."

          Hayi held her breath, and exhaled. She played with the hem of her shirt this time, embracing the warm silence.

"We were happy, we were there. Then all gone the next." Hanbin tried to laugh, but his voice cracked.

"But you know, love is not permanent. It's like, uh, a see-saw, you know? Ups and downs, it switches places, nothing is ever permanent. Love isn't permanent, it ebbs and flows, just like everything in the world is. Emotions fickle." 

          She wasn't quite sure if she said the right things. Am I probably wrong? No big deal, people have different notions of love. Hers is just one of the billions.

"Emotion fickles," Hanbin repeated. "Emotions fickle."

"Yes, it does. But you'd get… I guess, you'll be over it, soon."

          "'Get over it.'" Hanbin scoffs, pounding his hands heavy on the wheel, "Everyone is saying that. I thought you'd be saying the different thing. Bro, she's just a girl. It's her loss. Her loss? Why is it just me hurting like this? Move on already." He drew a sharp breath, "Sure, like it was that easy."

          Hayi grazed his arms, unsure. "No, I certainly did not mean it like that. I'm sorry."

"It's okay. I'm not even sure what to feel right now. I did an effort to keep us together, we did." 

"Maybe you did not do your best. And effort doesn't always guarantee success."

"I'm pretty sure I did it all my will."

"Maybe hers isn't her all." Hayi snapped. 

          He fell silent, silent. Was it just him who wants to keep their relationship together? Had she been dying to get out already, and he's just wasting efforts trying to hold her tight?

                    "You did your best, Hanbin, but what if she did not? It's hard to win if the other side doesn't want to win. You both lose." 

          He lets out an exasperated sigh, sounds like he's giving up. "Break-ups are horrible, nasty. It makes you feel like a total puddle of ."

          "Well, at first of course it'd be so difficult. But anyways, I'm sure you learned things, one or a few. You'll learn about yourself more after this. You'd be a better person, make her regret giving up on you."

          This time, he chuckled. Hayi's words were truth beyond hurt. It was a horrible yet a truth that sets your heart comfortably free. "Thank you."

          "Welcome. I don't know if I'm making any sense, anyway." They both laughed, and enjoyed the rest of the ride. 

It was the first time Hayi liked car rides, and dead phones. 

♫ Playlist ♫

○ When Stars Collide - Katie Ferrara

○ Heart Like Yours - Wiliamette Stone