004

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Days, nights, hours, minutes and seconds passed and all the more, I became close to him. I memorized the time when he and I accidentally bumped into each other on our way to school. I synchronized my time with his without him knowing.

I knew that by 8:00, he’d be texting me “Good morning” and I’d reply a little late just so it wouldn’t feel like I was waiting for his text. I knew that by 8:25, he’ll be walking by the junction where our street met.

At night, I knew that by 7:30, he had already eaten, while Jinhee and I were trying our hardest to cook something for dinner. And then by 10:30, I knew I shouldn’t wait for his reply because he was already sound asleep.

That was how it was the whole semester, still, there were those memories that I wanted to highlight the most.

One humid afternoon, the last class hour of the day, when all of the students are dying to go home and rest, we had our oratorical presentation. I personally was not good with memorization and public speaking stuff or things like that.

The perfect reason that when our professor in English called my name to recite my speech, my world started to spin like crazy. Oh my gosh.

I walked in front with hands shaking and must’ve been gross because of sweat. How the hell would I recite like the others! I’d be humiliated! In front of my professor, classmates and most importantly, in front of Baekhyun.

I mustered up all the courage I had and I racked my brain to find the little folder that stored only one file, “Oration”.

I spent about five or seven minutes in front and when I exhausted every knowledge that I had, I retreated. Speech is a battlefield that only people who have self-confidence and quick minds can bear to fathom.

And the next phrase that our professor said was mildly unbelievable. “Very good,” she praised.

From then on, I was known as the “English Wizard”, a title I didn’t know I’d be labeled for in my whole life!

One time, when the professor asked to group ourselves with three members each, instinctively, those two beside me grabbed my arm and asked me to join them. Baekhyun turned around to ask me, I was already seated in a group of three so I just mouthed my “Sorry.” When all I really want to do was ditch these two and join him instead.

After that, we were all drained with all the reading comprehension and sentences. Our professor told us that we could pass it as an assignment tomorrow, but the group who’d pass it today would have extra points for the upcoming exam.

My two group mates voiced out their desperation and asked me to answer it, obviously I couldn’t. One by one, groups were starting to disperse, until only our group was left.

We all then gave up, it’s nearing 8 P.M. I gathered my things, slumped my shoulders and sighed. Hani and Yuri must’ve left, they didn’t want waiting long. I guess I’d be going home alone. When I went out, many of our classmates were still there.

Hyerin, the one that Baekhyun offered to help to go down the stairs during the night, came to me and said, “Your boyfriend is waiting for you.”

I looked at her confused and when I followed her gaze, I saw Baekhyun waving at us. I looked at her and for a brief moment I could’ve sworn I saw her smile tearing her face off. (if that’s even possible).

He waited for me! I told myself that this must be the happiest day of my life, little did I know that what was about to happen the next day, would be so much happier.

After our group meeting in Science, I immediately gathered my things and went straight home to our dorm. When I reached our room, I saw Jinhee’s empty bed. She left a note saying that she needed to go home for the weekend. Emergency.

I shrugged. I got my phone and texted her to take care. I then sent two quick messages to Hani and Yuri, and asked what they were up to.

Hani’s reply was short but direct to the point. “Can’t go, Sorry!”

Yuri’s was lengthy and full of explanations, “Sorry! Can’t go! I thought you’re spending your time with your roommie so I made other plans. Please forgive me! See you on Monday!”

This was the loneliest day of my entire life. I just turned 19 with no one to celebrate it with. I went to the mall just for the sake of it, when I felt my phone vibrated in my bag. I didn’t take time to look at it, maybe it was just the girls saying how sorry they were.

It beeped again, I fumbled through my bag and saw the name of the one who sent the message. My hands froze in an instant and it took me a good two minutes to breathe normally.

“Hi! Where are you? Want to go out?” It was from Baekhyun.

I didn’t know what to do, I was not prepared. Should I go home first? And then, I read the other message from him, “I’m here in the mall, let’s meet.”

I walked, looking at my phone. I didn’t know what to do, the background music just made it even more exciting. The band playing at the ground floor was just perfect.

I walked and walked feeling the heat in my cheeks. Where would I meet him? I should go and take a quick retouch in the bathroom first.

I was walking so fast that I bumped into someone else. “Opps. Sorry!” When I tried to move past the person I just bumped into, he blocked my way. I tried but he blocked my way again. I looked at him ready to fire whatever violent remarks I had, until I saw who he was.

“‘Coz I love her with all that I am. And my voice shakes along with my hands,”

That moment was just perfect. I never expected it to happen the way it happened that day. It was surreal, and the things that I only saw in movies were starting to become my reality.

“‘Coz it’s frightening to be swimming in a strange sea but I’d rather be here than on land.”

He then took something out from his jacket, which happened to be a small box. He smiled at me, “I didn’t have time to wrap it, I’m supposed to, but then I saw you here.” He placed the box in my hand and I was speechless. “Happy birthday,” he said smiling.

I opened it to see a crystal ring with my name engraved at its center. I thought it was downright corny now, but then it was the sweetest thing ever. Thinking about how much effort he put up for the present, I felt like special.

“Yes, she’s all that I see and she’s all that I need and I’m out of my league once again.”

As for me, no birthday that I had, compares to that.

I woke up early the next morning–so early that the first slashes of dawn were just beginning to be reflected on our dorm room windows.

For a long time, I laid in my bed, looking at the alarm clock and knowing it was too early to get up and yet not wanting to go back to sleep again.

In the brightness of the morning, yesterday didn’t seem quite real–as if it had been a movie which I had sat and watched but of which I had been a part.

I knew in a few more minutes, I’d go and prepare for school. There would be no more of the exquisite uncertainty of last night and tingling awe at the newness of the feeling.

Last night was memorable because Baekhyun was the first guy that did that to me. Not just because he was special to me–a guy different from others–but because he was the first one.

After a while, I would think of yesterday and remember it and that breathless moment. What if he was really sweet to every girl, and what if he only did that because it was obvious that I was alone and sad on my first birthday in college?

There was a crack over in one corner of the ceiling of our dorm room and I found myself unconsciously lining my thoughts up on either side–the good and the bad. That there are nice things to remember and there are things that maybe in the sunlight wouldn’t be the same at all.

It might be that he would never call or text me again and I would spend the rest of my college days lying in bed and trying to replay yesterday and wondering where I could’ve failed.

Maybe all my life, my heart would jump a little when I saw a cute, jet-black haired guy, whose back I had memorized from afar. Maybe every time I hear the name Baekhyun, I would hold my breath and be afraid to turn around to see who was there in case it might be he.

I wish now I could’ve said something to him. Something quick and bright with happiness in it. If I could have said the right things, my whole life might have had been different.

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Song ended here.