Hi everyone, I'm so sorry for the late update. Work is hell this week (thanks to the lazy arses I have to deal with......) This was supposed to be the final chapter but after many tweaks I realised If I uploaded this as the final chapter I'll probably kill you lot with the length (Well over 20 pages for one chapter....) So this has been halved and hopefully (fingers crossed) the next upload will be the finale. 

 

 

Chapter 25

 

Adeline wasn’t well. In fact she felt awful, throwing up her food constantly, unable to stomach even the blandest of porridge. And in the back of her mind she wondered, just what if it was.... She shook herself free from those grim thoughts. ‘I’m just upset’ she thought to herself, ‘That’s all. I’m just upset over everything that happened over Christmas.’ And she set her thoughts aside to embrace what the day had to offer her.

Adeline was back home, pampered and petted by her brother and her maid. She had gotten used to the silence once more, but couldn’t help feeling homesick for the house she had left, maybe forever. Dominique had sworn her to secrecy and stated that if anyone asked, she would answer that due to feeling unwell she had gone to the sunny ports in south to recover. And the first few weeks after her return she had been bombarded by visitors, all asking after her health, amongst them were many young men, playing their parts well, they crooned to her, told her of their feelings. Adeline felt embarrassed for them, the mooning and crooning were bad enough to make her want to gag. She had coolly explained that although she was better, she was still in no position to accept any of their proposals. And, to Dominique’s dismay, she had stated that once she returned to full health she would go travelling. The neighbours, aghast at her words, had left after a short amount of time, muttering under their breaths at Adeline’s attitude. She had been scolded by her brother, but Adeline too could put her foot down and, no, she would not marry into any of the rich families.

 

Adeline lay in bed as Marie put a cold, damp cloth over her face, wiping the sweat away. Adeline had thrown up her food once again and was now slumped onto the pillows; eyes closed and breathe shallow as she tried to fight off another wave of nausea.

 “Marie, I feel awful,” She moaned and Marie clucked sympathetically at her dear little Miss.

“Wouldn’t you like me to call for the doctor, miss?” She asked tentatively. Adeline shook her head.

“No,” She murmured, “No doctors, please just leave me to rest. I just want the silence.” She bid her maid out and waited for the click of the door. Finally she let forth the hot, burning tears, crying softly for him, Leo. Since her return she had wondered many times if she ought to get in touch. She had put pen to paper many times, wanting to write out her feelings and every time she crumpled the piece of paper, tossing it away and crying out in frustration. Now as she curled up into a ball on her side she let slip the carefully controlled mask of demure politeness. Sobbing into her pillow until was raw and her eyes burnt.

‘I miss you Leo. I love you, I hate you...’

 

“I’m worried about you.”

Adeline looked up from her plate of untouched food to see her brother’s concerned gaze looking at her. Dinner tonight was stew and Adeline could feel her stomach churning with nausea.

“I’m fine Dom, really.” Adeline said with as much energy that she could muster and failed. Her voice came out low, raspy and she avoided his gaze.

Dominique put his knife and fork down, “No you’re not Adeline,” His voice was stern as he spoke, “Ever since you came back you’ve been pale, quiet and just not yourself. You can barely keep a glass of water down, never mind food and you’re constantly sick. Marie told me that you keep refusing to see the doctor.” He got up from his chair and walked over to her. Taking her hand in his he squatted down to eye level, “Why won’t you see the doctor Addy? I’m worried about you. Please listen to me and see the doctor.” He watched Adeline’s eyes well up.

“I’m sorry Dom; I don’t mean to be such a pain. There’s nothing seriously wrong with me, I just want to be left alone. I don’t think I need the doctor for this.” She muttered out, voice shaky and Dominique sighed.

“What, are you saying that you’re this way because of heart break?” He asked incredulously, “Adeline you’re better off without him, why are you wasting tears on that gangster?” Adeline gasped slightly at his words, it stung.

“I don’t wish to discuss this any further.” She stated shaking off his hold and getting up, “Please excuse me, I don’t feel like eating.” She excused herself and turned towards the door before she was stopped.

“Now you listen to me Adeline,” Dominique began, “I’m going to call the doctor tomorrow and you will be seen by him.” His tone brooked no arguments and Adeline had no choice but to resign herself to his words.

“Good night brother.” She said and then walked away, leaving Dominique standing alone.

 

The doctor was a kind, elderly gentleman. He had helped Adeline’s mother give birth and had been their family doctor since before she was born. Now his kind, fatherly gaze swept over her forlorn state as he tsked, shaking his head.

“Oh my dear, I can see that the sea air didn’t do as much good for you as I thought it would.” Adeline managed a weak smile as he spoke, reclining in her bed she extended a hand for him to shake.

“It’s good to see you again Dr. Blanchard.” She stated and he patted her hand soothingly, his eyes looking at her face through the glasses he wore.

“Now my dear, let’s see what’s ailing you and we can have you back to good health in no time.” He announced rolling up his sleeves and taking his stethoscope out of his bag, “Now your brother tells me you had a bad case of scarlet fever is that right?” Adeline nodded and allowed the doctor to begin his check up, asking questions till he was certain. Adeline watched him patiently as he put his stethoscope away, his expression grim. She turned to Marie who had been standing silently at the corner and motioned for her to leave.

“What is it doctor?” She asked once they were alone. He looked up, scrutinising her as he began to talk.

“My dear, you are with child.” He announced and Adeline paled. She clasped her shaking hands together.

“Are- are you sure?” He nodded grimly.

“Yes my dear, you are already near the end of your third month, or first trimester. Based on everything you told me and the examination I would deduce that you conceived sometime in either late November or early December. Your due date will be in August.”

Adeline felt her tears fall as the doctor spoke; she was struggling to understand it all. The doctor watched as she tried to compose herself. She looked back up at him and although he said nothing she felt thoroughly chastised by his expression.

“I will need to inform your brother-” He began but was cut off when Adeline spoke up.

“Please don’t tell him I’m pregnant.” She pleaded quietly, “I’ll do it myself in a few days so please doctor” He regarded her through his glasses again, taking his time to answer and Adeline waited with baited breath for his consent. Finally he nodded, sighing as he did so.

“As you wish my dear,” He consented, “I will simply tell him that the journey and the change in environment has affected your health, although I would rather your brother be told the truth and immediately. In these cases an abortion is the only option, but you must make a decision quickly as the only safe abortion option is only available during the very first stages of pregnancy” Adeline thanked him profusely, grasping his fatherly hands in hers, eyes swimming, “But I will have to tell him to take you somewhere else so you can have the child in secret, if you wish to keep it.” Adeline nodded; unable to form words, afraid she would start crying again.

“Thank you doctor,” She choked out and he shook his head.

“My dear, it would be wise for you to tell your brother soon so he can make preparations for you to go away. And I have a feeling that by the time you have had the child, you will not be thanking me.” He bid farewell to her, and left the room. As he descended the stairs, Dominique, who had been pacing restlessly at the foot of the stairs, looked up. The expression on the doctor’s face told him all he needed to know. There was something very wrong with Adeline.

“What’s wrong doctor?” He asked breathlessly as the doctor approached him, is it serious?”

“My boy,” He began hesitantly, “I’m afraid the scarlet fever has weakened your sister a great deal. I believe the long journey and the change in atmosphere and food may have contributed to her falling ill. I don’t think the sea air has done her any good.” Dominique stood staring aghast at the doctor as he spoke.

“But surely she wouldn’t be sick for this long if it was caused by the journey.” He commented, “And she wasn’t sick during the first few weeks.”

The doctor sighed, looking ill at ease, “Like I said the scarlet fever has weakened her. As for the sickness taking hold now, sometimes the human body reacts to things at different times. Perhaps she was already feeling ill from before but it just didn’t show.” He explained calmly to the distraught young man, “If I could make a suggestion, I believe she needs to go away again. Perhaps mountain air will do her good.” Dominique nodded slowly.

“I will look into it, thank you Doctor.” They shook hands and with a last nod the good doctor took up his hat and placing it on his head walked quickly out.

As the door close Dominique sighed wearily and began to slowly make his way up the stairs. Going to his sister’s bedroom door, he knocked. Hearing no reply he softly opened it. She lay on her side, breathing evenly as she slept and he tiptoed to her. Sitting on the edge of the bed he gently her hair away from her face. Worry etched into every line of his face as he watched his little sister sleep.

“I’ll make it go away little sister. I’ll make all the monsters and imps and pain go away.” He whispered and his eyes grew damp as he remembered her as a little girl, running into his room and crying about the ghosts that “made me scared and gave me an owie”. He always rubbed her back gently and flicked her nose, making her scrunch it up, tears replaced by annoyance. He missed that, her childish ways. He leaned towards her, placing a gentle kiss to her temple.

“Whatever it is that’s made you so ill, sis, I’ll make it go away, like always.” He promised before going out, carefully closing the door behind him.

Adeline opened her eyes as the door shut behind her.

‘There’s nothing you can do Dom. If you only knew...’    

 

Adeline sat at her bureau, pen in hand and poised to write. She had been sat like this for a while, trying so hard to find the right words to put on paper. But nothing remotely coherent seemed to form in her clouded mind and she felt like she could throw the ink pot to the floor in frustration. She had been trying to write to Leo, she needed to tell him of her condition. But try as she might she could not make herself write the words on paper. She sighed, feeling like giving up, but stubbornly refusing to.

Should she, shouldn’t she?

The internal battle waged in her as she sat, rubbing the small indistinguishable bump that had begun to form. Maybe, instead of writing directly to Leo she could write to one of the other men, she thought. She began to write down the name of the recipient before stopping. The ink seeped into the paper, a large black dot forming. N would most likely put it straight into the fire. He had not been happy about their relationship at all. Maybe she could contact Hongbin, but Adeline shook that thought off. He would be busy with the impending arrival of their first born and Adeline did not want to add to his worries. Then Adeline sat up.

‘Ken’ she mouthed. Of course, she could contact Ken and he would pass on the message. She bent her head down and hastily scribbled the message, not caring if it was fully comprehensible or not. There was no sound apart from the scratching of pen on paper and the constant ticking of the table clock. After a few minutes of silent writing she sat back, picking up the paper she read out what she had written,

‘Dear Ken,’ it read,

‘I hope this message finds you in good health. I am not too well but please do not be alarmed as it is not anything bad. At least I hope it isn’t.

I am writing to ask a big favour from you. But I am worried that you won’t want to do this. You see Ken I need to get in touch with Leo and not knowing where he is at the moment and not wanting to send this message to N in case he burns it I thought I would turn to you.

I need you to pass on a message to him. Please tell him that I am expecting his child. I believe he has a right to know at least that he is the father. Please could you pass this on to him for me?’

It would have to do. Putting in a few finishing lines she blew on the paper to dry it, calling out for Marie as she waited for it to dry. Marie walked in quickly as Adeline finished sealing the envelope.

“You called for me Miss?” She asked curtsying. Adeline handed her the letter and some coins.

“Take this immediately to the post office and tell them it’s urgent and must be sent at once. Tell no one about this, ok?” She instructed. Marie took the letter and coins, putting both into her apron pocket and curtsied again.

“I will go right now Miss. I need to go to the baker’s for Jacqueline so I will drop this off at the post office on my way.”

Adeline nodded and watched her leave with the letter. Now she could do nothing but wait for his reply or an acknowledgement of sorts from Leo. She rubbed the swell again.

Outside the first signs of Spring were beginning to show. The snow had melted in many places leaving only a few patches of white, mainly in places where the sun had not reached yet and little sprouts were beginning to pop up her and there. March was here and soon Adeline would start showing. She could only hide her secret for so long before her brother found out. She needed Leo, now more than ever. She only hoped he would listen.

 

In the days that followed, Adeline waited for news with baited breath, sending Marie almost every day to see if a reply had come yet. It had been almost five days before she finally received a reply. Marie had rushed back and slipped into her room to deliver the letter to her. She eagerly tore it open, scanning the contents. Her hands started shaking as she read,

Dear Adeline,

I’m sorry it took me so long to get back to you. I hope you are doing well and the child too. To say I was shocked at your news would be an understatement.

Adeline, I will be blunt. My brother has just returned from his trip with Cendrine and she is expecting his child. She conceived in December and the due date is set for sometime in September I believe. They have also set their wedding date for the last of this month. It will be private and only Cendrine’s father will be attending along with all of us. So please understand that it would not be wise to try to contact him.

I’m sorry to have given you such news. I know you were quite fond of him.

I would like to propose something. I hope you will consider it. Seeing as how my brother is indisposed I would like to make a proposal of marriage to you. I would, of course, be willing to accept the child as my own. Truthfully speaking, I have always loved you. I believe I can make you happy; all you have to do is forget Leo and say Yes to me.

I will await your reply.

Ken   

Adeline felt numb, unable to comprehend the words. Slowly, slowly the realisation sank in and, without any other reaction she tore the letter bit by bit till all that remained was a small pile of confetti. She sat still, letting the numbness spread, let it take away the pain and leave nothing but emptiness in its stead. ‘All you have to do is forget Leo and say Yes to me’. The anger surged in her. She could no longer sit still and got up, beginning to pace. How dare he? To tell her to forget Leo and look to him, to expect her to just walk away from everything that happened. She sat at her bureau again, taking pen and paper she wrote:

 

I will never turn to you Ken, I simply can’t. I can’t break the promise I made to him and even if I could, I wouldn’t, not for anyone, not even you.    

  

When Ken received Adeline’s letter it took every bit of his self-possession to keep from putting his hands around his brother’s neck and choking him till he died. It took all his will power to sit across from him the next day and pretend all was well when he only wanted to stab him, over and over again. He hated his brother even more. And he was out for blood, but he would take his time. Why kill him now when he could hurt him in other ways first? He would savour seeing Leo’s ruin first, would enjoy every shred of pain he went through before delivering the final blow. By the time he was done, Leo would be begging for it to end. In fact he would push himself to his end.

He had written back to Adeline and impatiently haunted the post office for his reply, which he received promptly. He tore the envelope open right there and then, scanning it quickly before crumpling it in his hands. A muscle jumped in his cheek and he strode away from the curious gazes. When he was finally alone in his room he smoothed out the letter, reading the short message before sitting down at his desk to write.

‘Love, don’t you realise that this time I will get what I want.....”

 

Adeline was roused from her afternoon nap when a door slammed shut downstairs. Thunderous footsteps could be heard coming up the stairs and her door swung open before she could rub the sleep away from her eyes.

“Explain this” It was Dominique, and he was holding up a letter to her. Adeline brushed the loose strands of hair away from her face, yawning.

“What is that?” She mumbled, still half-asleep.

“A letter from Ken” Adeline widened her eyes, a sickening feeling sinking in her gut as she took the letter with a trembling hand. It was and he had written, not to her, but to her brother. As she read the letter she paled:

Dominique,

I write to you to let you know that Adeline had written to me a few days ago. In the contents of the letter she stated that she was expecting my brother, Leo’s child. I had sent her a reply stating that he and Cendrine are set to wed at the end of this month and advised her to not contact him. Cendrine is also expecting Leo’s child. I understand that my brother had played around with her, when I had asked him about Adeline he had replied that he has no interest in rekindling whatever it is she seems to think they have or had.

I offered to marry her and give the child a name and she has refused. I know what you think of me and my brothers and our lifestyle. Truthfully speaking I wish to step away from it all myself.  I have enough money to give Adeline a stable and comfortable life and the child will want for nothing. If you give me your permission I would like to visit to speak to you in person...

Dominique was staring at her as though she were a stranger. His hands curled into fists and he was shaking with rage. Adeline could not look at him.

“Is it true?”

“...Yes...” Dominique reeled as though he had been slapped; stricken dumb by her confession he could not begin to form the words he wanted to say. He looked at Adeline, hoping it was a lie but the truth was visible in her eyes. Then it all made sense to him. The doctor knew too.

“D-did you tell the doctor to keep this from me?” His voice shook. He watched Adeline nod once and his anger surged forward, “You,” He stopped for a moment, collecting himself, “I’m calling the doctor; he’ll get rid of that, that thing.” He spat out, whirling around and storming to the door.

“NO!” Adeline cried out rushing to grab hold of his arm, preventing him from leaving, “I won’t kill this child!”

“Do you know what the people will say when they find out? You acted like a common and gave yourself away to the first man that asked you. Are you that stupid?” He was raging now, voice sharp with anger, “And if you gave birth to that thing it will only be labelled a bastard, so it’s better for it to die now then face those taunts. Just like its father!” Adeline quailed as he spoke but stubbornly refused, still, to get rid of the child.

“You can’t do it, it’s too late.” Adeline stated and Dominique looked at her.

“What do you mean?” He demanded.

“I mean that you cannot get rid of this child as the doctor claims it’s already past the point where an abortion could be done as the procedure is only for women who are at the very beginning of their pregnancy. Other forms are too risky and can endanger my life.” She explained.

“We will look at the other forms then.” Dominique stated much to Adeline’s horror, “I’ll find a backstreet abortionist, this thing will not live.” He walked away, finally having managed to remove Adeline’s hold on him. He slammed the door shut and Adeline sank slowly to the floor. Leaning against her bed she wrapped her arms around her knees and began to rock slowly. She would not let this child die.

 

It was late at night when Adeline heard the sound of the front door closing. She waited in fear as footsteps came up the stairs, slow. It felt like hours before it stopped in front of her room and then without warning it opened. Dominique was stood at the doorway, holding onto the knob as his eyes caught her little figure. She had not moved from that spot, nor had her position changed. Adeline was still sat with her skinny arms wrapped around her knees. He approached slowly till he was merely centimetres from her.

“Get up” Adeline hesitated for a moment before doing as she was bid. She got up off the floor slowly, muscles cramped from having stayed in one place for so long.

“Marie will help you to pack your bags. I’ve contacted someone father knew. She lives further north and once she gets back to me I will send you to her and you will stay there till you’ve had that thing.” He ordered. Marie walked in, quaking at the formidable Dominique, certain that she would be fired and without any further words Dominique left, slamming the door shut behind him. Adeline flinched. She turned to her forlorn looking maid and gave her the brightest and reassuring smile she could muster.

“Don’t worry he’ll cool down.” Adeline reassured her as she stood up, knowing what Marie was scared about, “He knows I put you up to it. I promise you, you won’t lose your job Marie. You have my word.” Marie nodded.

“Thank you Miss.” She sniffed and Adeline put her arms around to comfort her. They began to pack, taking out only the basic necessary items. She did not know what would happen to her and child. She had no idea where she would be sent to, but all she knew was that she would have and keep this child. Would love it and keep it safe.

 

April approached and with the start of the warmer days came the much anticipated arrival of a very chubby, rosy cheeked and brown haired little girl. Ceci and Hongbin had entered the world of parenthood and they worshipped the little bundle that lay in her cot, cooing and babbling at the baby as she slept on. She was advanced, had opened her eyes on her second day, the coffee coloured orbs resting on her little mother and Ceci’s heart soared with love. They named her Colette and in their eyes there was no baby more perfect than the sweet little cherub in their arms. She had a band of worshippers in the form of the other members. They came daily for a refreshing peek at the little princess.

It was after the Christening of little Colette, Ceci had put her to sleep and gone downstairs. A soft knock at the front door had her hurrying to open it. Leo was stood, bouquet in hand, which he wordlessly presented to her and Ceci accepted them gracefully.

“These flowers are beautiful. You certainly know how to weave magic with those green thumbs.” She commented, taking a sniff of the gorgeous fragrance. Leo smiled a little, a commodity rare now after all the months he had smiled and laughed openly. It hurt Ceci to see Leo this way.

“Where’s Hongbin?” He asked and Ceci nodded to the study door which stood slightly ajar.

“Ken came in a while back and they’ve been cooped up in there since.”  Together they made their way to it and the conversation within the room became clearer the closer they got.

“...are you sure?”

“Yes, we slept together on the night of the party. And now Adeline’s with child. Hongbin what do I do?”

“Wait but how do you know this? Did she contact you?”

“Yes she sent me this letter.”

There was a small rustling of paper and moment of grave silence before they heard Hongbin finally speak up. In a strained voice he said, “I don’t believe this. How could you? What about Leo? Have you two been playing a game with him?”

“I was drunk, and besides she wanted it. She started the entire thing.” Ken sounded angry, defensive, “I don’t intentionally play around with anyone and I repeat I was drunk!”

“That doesn’t change the fact this has happened. It’s not an excuse! If Leo finds out can you imagine how hurt he’ll be? For God’s sake man you slept with his lover!”

“And for the last time she wanted it!”

Ceci stood in silenced shock. Ken slept with Adeline? She remembered the conversation she had heard between Cendrine and Ken that day, was this a result of that discussion? She had nearly forgotten the man beside her. She turned to him. Leo was staring at the door, but it was his face that had Ceci blink back tears. His face was twisted in pain, she could see him struggling to keep the tears at bay but they refused to be stemmed. His eyes glistened with moisture, and before Ceci could say a word, Leo turned and walked out of the house leaving a concerned Ceci standing in the small corridor. In the small study the argument was still in full flow and Ceci, having heard more than enough, trudged to the living room where she sank into her rocking chair.

Adeline what have you done...