SeolHyun's POV

Wonho quietly took us away from all of the people in the room. I didn't even get time to change, but I look somewhat decent. He's very adamant on us being alone and it scares me a little. He's been like this ever since yesterday and I'm conscious of him, way too much if you ask me. He's holding my hand while dragging me into a karaoke bar. Why the hell a karaoke bar? 

"What are we even doing here?" I ask him once we're alone inside of a booth. No one can hear us here. 

"Because I like to sing and you like to sing. Plus we're all alone in here", he comments proudly, making me more nervous than I should be around him. 

"You're weird", I comment and take the panel to pick a song. 

"You like it, admit it", he winks and I shake my head at him. I'm not about to tell him I like his weirdness, since this is awkward enough already. 

"Get over yourself", I say with a playful tone. He doesn't miss it and winks again. 

We pick Bang Bang Bang since it's fun to do with the two of us. Wonho can't rap for so I have to do it in his place. I'm proud to complete TOP's rap without any hiccups. It's so hard and it took such a long time to perfect. Wonho seems a bit surprised to see me complete it without mistakes. He even claps for me while I bow. He then picks up at Seungri's part once again. The chorus is for the both of us and we're complete dorks while mimicking G-Dragon. We're even doing the dance. It's the easiest one on the planet, especially if you're a dancer yourself. 

In the end we can't sing anymore due to excessive laughing. Wonho is being a complete dork while he imitates everyone from Big Bang. It earns him a whack on the arm from my side. He pretends to be really hurt again as he falls down to the ground. 

"Get up. You have all those muscles so you can't get hurt from my wimpy attempt to slap you", I roll my eyes at him while he's still pretending to die. This boy should've become an actor, not a singer. 

"You hit pretty hard for a girl", he admits and gets up. Dork.

"I have to", I say without thinking. It transports me back to some lessons I had a while back when I first joined Pledis. 

The president could see how I flinched whenever someone came too close to me, especially adults and males. He found a way for me to get over that fear: self defense class. He made me go to them and he even went with me to the first one. After half a year I completed it and went to do Karate for some reason. It soothed me, to be able to defend myself when it came to strangers. Ever since those lessons, I haven't flinched at all. They still scare me, but my body is ready for anything they throw at me.

"I have a black belt", I pull up my shoulders like it's nothing, but Wonho's mouth drops open in surprise. 

"You have a what?" he is too stunned to even fix his composure. 

"A black belt in Karate", I roll my eyes and sit down on the bench in the corner. There are a few drinks on the table for the both of us so I take a sip of the water. 

"Since when?" he sits down beside me and drinks water too. He's a health freak. 

"A few years now", I trail off. 

"Well, you could totally beat my , then", he jokes, but his undertone is serious. 

"Yeah, so don't try anything, okay?" I push him lightly and he laughs with me. 

"Fine, I won't", he puts his hands up in defense and leans over to grab the panel for the next song. He picks a slower one: Toy by Block B. It's one of my absolute faves and I'm getting the same feeling from him. 

We both sit down and sing along to the song. When it ends he sets down the panel and just stares at me. I'm getting a little uncomfortable under his stare. He doesn't do anything else but drink from his water and look at me.

"What?" I ask, getting annoyed by his stare. 

"Nothing", he pulls up his shoulders and shrugs it off. 

"You've been staring at me for a good 5 minutes, Wonho, of course there is something", I accuse him and he doesn't even blink an eye. This boy is shameless. 

"You look cute", he comments and my cheeks flush. 

"Wonho, don't be gross", I turn around so I'm not facing him. I'm facing the screen and we got really good scores this time too. 

"You think me saying you're beautiful is gross?" I can just tell he's tilting his head. 

"Yes, because I most definitely am not." 

"You most definitely are. You didn't see the way the guys backstage were staring at you", he has this undertone I'm not used to. He never had this when we were younger. He was my older brother and I his little sister. This tone suggests there's something more going on than that platonic relationship. 

"Don't." My voice is shaky as I try to convince him that this is not the time or place to discuss these things. After always being told I'm ugly and not worth a thing, you start believing them in the end. 

"What if I want to?" his voice is closer and I don't dare turn around. "You're beautiful, even with your scars", he whispers and lifts my hair to see my back. I can't push him away because I'm so embarrassed. He's undoing the top of my shirt to see the scars on my back, I know he is. He's been asking about them ever since that day we had to run from his fans  and hide. 

"What are you d-doing?" I'm stuttering, just like I used to when I was so very nervous. 

"I have to check that I wasn't dreaming that day", he says against my skin and then I feel and hear his gasp. He's located them and runs his fingers over the jagged ends. They never healed well because of the lack of treatment. I couldn't reach them and there was no one to help me with them anymore. "Who did this?" 

"You know who", my voice is hollow as I think back to the day it all happened. I don't want to think about it anymore, it's been going through my mind all these years and now I have finally managed to push them away. They don't deserve the right to come back. 

"When?" He is angry, I can both feel and hear it. 

"The day before I came to Seoul", I blurt it out. I wasn't planning on telling him any of this. But Wonho has this way wiggling his way into your heart again. 

"Is that why you came here?" 

"Maybe." 

"To see me?" 

"No, there's another reason. Not everything revolves around you", I finally pull back and try doing my shirt the right way again. 

"Tell me", he pleads and I finally face him again. Silent tears have been plaguing me and he sees them now. This is exactly why I don't want to talk about any of it. It all transports me back to a time when it was so much more difficult for me to breathe. The air is getting out of my lungs again as I hear the screams and feel what I felt back then. 

"I can't. Not now. This was enough", I state and wipe away the remaining tears on my face. "Now I have to get home." 

"Please don't run away from me", he asks of me while he holds my hand in his. The warmth almost makes me sway, but then the memory of him leaving me returns. It makes me so mad. 

"You ran away from me. Why can't I run away from you, then?" It's the lowest blow I can ever deal, but he takes it in. The hurt flashes across his face again. He's admitting defeat, there's nothing else he can say in return of this. Bringing up that he left me when I needed him most was really the most selfish thing to do, but it's the only way I know how to protect myself. He's been getting closer and closer to the inner side of me, a side I'm keeping locked up for as long as I possibly can. 

"Fair enough", his voice grows distant. The hurt in both of us is visible for anyone to see as we leave the booth and Wonho pays. I offered to pay half, but he wouldn't have any of it. It was his treat, he said. 

The walk home is silent and very awkward, to say the least. Wonho doesn't say a word and neither do I. I'm mulling everything over in my head. He was only trying to help me, nothing more, I know that. But it hurts to think about it all and I turn into a whenever it's brought up. My parents are literally the worst people on this planet and they keep on ruining my life, even now. They've ruined every single relationship I've had, friendly or not. Am I gonna let them ruin this one too? Or am I going to save this relationship we've built up over the past few weeks. 

"Wonho, please stop", I say while stopping myself. He takes a few more steps before stopping and turning himself around to face me. 

"What is it, SeolHyun?" That stings. He's been using my nickname from before and now he's discarded it again. 

"I went too far", I shake my head at him and stare at my feet while making the confession. 

"You think?" His undertone is a bit humorous. That means he's already forgiving me for the things I said to him back at karaoke. 

"Yes, you were only trying to help and get to know me better", I nod, still staring at my feet. 

"Lift your head and face me please", he asks and I comply without much sputtering. His eyes are big and looking straight into my soul. 

"I want this friendship to work", I admit to him and myself at the same time. Wonho makes me feel somewhat at ease, like I'm still normal. I'm not prepared to give it up. 

"Me too. But you keep on shutting me out. If this is going to work, you'll have to let me in eventually", his words do make sense, but it's hard for me too. 

"We'll have to work on that, okay?" I compromise and he nods at me. His eyes are way more friendly when he comes closer and engulfs me in a hug. I didn't know how much I needed it until he was surrounding me. "Wonho, we're in the middle of the streets."

"I don't care", he mumbles into my hair and I smile. He's such a rebel at times. But we have reputations to think about after all so I pull back. 

"The pulling back is not your fault, but the fault of us being idols", I assure him and he chuckles. For once I really want to make him smile. He's always trying to make me smile. "Let's run for a while." I take his hand and we start a fast sprint forward. I have no idea where we're going, but I don't mind at all. In the end we stop at a bridge and both scream out as loud as we can. The tension from before leaves my body completely. After that he collapses against the railing of the bridge and begins to laugh loudly. That's the sound I want to hear. It's coming from deep down and is honestly the cutest thing I've ever heard in my life. I sink down beside him and laugh too. This is without one of the best nights in my life.