a/n: 

This fic will have a sequel and a SPIN-OFF after that. Can you guess which pairing that will be? ;)

Also, one more chapter to go :)

[ Here's the playlist for this fic. A list of the songs anyway. It contains majority of the songs mentioned in the fic. ]

 

 

 

(white violet - Let's Take a Chance on Happiness)

 

 

 

They are celebrating their sixth anniversary. BTS has become bigger, it has become better since their fourth anniversary two years ago. They even won the Daesang award this year. They are all feeling on top of the world. Coming not from the top tier, they have made it so far. They have made it so big. It leaves them giddy. They are ecstatic. At the moment, they are in Jeju Island because they have to fly over to Tokyo for Nippon TV’s broadcast within three days and then, have to attend KCON France and fly back immediately for Inkiyago as Seokjin and Hoseok are the Special MCs. Hence, they do not wish to go abroad at the moment. Their schedules are packed now with their group and individual schedules. Mostly they attend interviews and variety shows. In the case of Soekjin and Taehyung, they are also acting, being part of movies and dramas. Both of them have starred in dramas though it is also Taehyung who so far has had the main role (even if it was just a mini webseries). Jungkook, instead, has played a supporting cast in a star ensemble movie and in general, has stayed away from acting. Yoongi and Jimin have been casted in other idols’ music videos. Both Hoseok and Jimin have also participated in idol dance-based shows. Namjoon has walked the ramp for two designers. Both Yoongi and Namjoon have appeared on fashion magazine covers separately and it’s also an achievement to him. They have collaborated with a few artists. Like, Namjoon has produced songs for Homme and artists from other labels. Yoongi has written lyrics for two solo artists. He is always indebted to Bang PD for being so flexible and letting them do what they wish to and has appeared on one variety show himself.

 

As BTS, they have gone on a World Tour now with four full studio albums behind them. They have formed sub units. Yoongi and Jimin forming one. They are a fixed unit. Taehyung and Jungkook in another one. Although, some of the songs in their mini albums had Taehyung perform with Hoseok and Jungkook with Namjoon. Seokjin being the only one to have a unit with no fixation. Though usually, it features the two rappers - Hoseok and Namjoon. Yoongi’s twenty seven now and both Seokjin and he have enlisted for the mandatory army thing. They’ll be leaving in November. The plan is when the two years thing is over, Hoseok and Namjoon will follow, so that, at one given point, not all of them have to leave. Their contract with BigHit will be ending in almost five years time. So, in case, they don’t renew their contract (which is quite possible because four of them will have turned thirty and might want to pursue their other dreams) they can promote one last time as a group, as BTS, in the last six months or, so they have estimated that will be left with them once Namjoon and Hoseok return. They are going to use this time for more of the sub unit promotions and solo schedules and hence, they are concentrating on group activities at the moment and Yoongi doesn’t mind them in the slightest. He never has. The Daesang award has opened doors to several other shows. The more they are featured in different types of broadcast, the more exposure they get. The more positive reaction they get. The more fans they get. Some of them have had incidents with sasaengs but, they have swept them under the carpets. The crowds waiting for them at the airports get larger, the fans following them even more. More and more cameras snapping away, leaving behind an evidence of their every day activities.

 

In these two years, a lot of things have changed. Like, Jimin, sweet and zealous Park Jimin has started dating girls officially. Two of them so far acknowledged in the media. They broke up amicably too. No one can stay angry with the singer after all and all is great. Hoseok hasn’t publicly announced anything although the BTS members know all about it. He is dating an ex-girl group idol from another label and it’s all very hush-hush. Or, at least, it’s supposed to be? Because his friend always seems to not want to talk about it, locking his phone’s screen as soon as it is in the visible distance. He is a little more quiet, not his usual vibrant self but Yoongi understands that the idol life is a taxing one (given he himself is an idol) and a relationship on top of that can be draining the energy. But then, he is always talking about where all they went, what all they did. Yoongi doesn’t get the secretive-mode his friend Hobi sometimes slips into. Hoseok and Jimin are the only two members to be in a proper relationship. Seokjin is in a stable phase of his pre-relationship stage and doesn’t seem to want to pursue anything further saying he has a lot of time. His not-girlfriend is perfectly happy with it too. She is a family friend and has known Seokjin longer than the boys. Namjoon.. it has always been a lot harder to say anything about the leader. That’s one person Yoongi cannot easily read and he guesses, that’s just as well. That mysterious air, for a lack of a better phrase, is what makes Namjoon a better leader; a leader Yoongi can accept despite the fact that the tall rapper is his dongsaeng. A dongsaeng he can respect and expect to lead him and the younger boys. The leader and his protege, Jeon Jungkook are two people of BTS who go out on secret dates and then come back several hours later, cheerful and stress free and they all get to know they have gotten laid. Given their tight, packed schedule, it’s far and in between though. Yoongi, in fact, is the only one single, and doesn’t go out on dates. He hasn’t come out to his group mates still. He guesses Hoseok and Jimin have figured it out. Nevertheless, he managed to find himself in an article of a Pann post saying that he was seen on a date with this actress in this place at this time and BigHit has to officially give a statement on how farcical the news article is. Yoongi was there with the said actress at that place at the very hour stated but, they weren’t out on a date. They met by chance and Yoongi was just helping her escape from some saesangs. There were also a few ARMYs around who spotted him and started following him. That’s all it was but,

 

“Idol Suga found on a run-away date with actress Park So Yeon”

 

ran the stupid headline.

 

Though Yoongi did find some people but he never took them any further, unsure of their future and let things drop.

 

Unlike all of them is Taehyung whose image has changed severely over the past two years. He has long shed the ‘V, Alien, 4D’ image. He has now the ‘y, party animal’ concept for him. BigHit PRs try to show it is as an image, as a concept. In reality, Taehyung is just that and worse. He is far, far worse. Before, Taehyung always exchanged his liquor glasses for strawberry juice or, anything not-alcohol. Now, he drinks them like he is drinking sherbet. He smokes, he parties putting party lovers Hoseok and Jimin to shame. And, he has . Lots and lots of . He doesn’t hide the fact. He shamelessly displays the marks on his neck or, the nail scratches on his back when he takes his shirt off during practice. Yoongi always averts his eyes, finding the walls to be a preferable sight than Taehyung. The tall singer is warned on repeated occasions. The stylist noonas look scandalized at times and chide him other times for making their work harder. Seokjin informs Yoongi that starting from Bang PD to their managers to Namjoon, everyone has reprimanded the boy. Taehyung, Seokjin says, is guilty and apologises to them but, that guilt is only momentary and then goes back to doing exactly what he was doing before. Taehyung sleeps with both men and women and in his own words “idols only because can’t let them go talking about our escapades, right?” Taehyung always makes sure to tell them about his.. activities in details and they all listen to him with rapt attention in equal parts of horror and equal parts of awe. He usually takes off with some idol at the end of a music show stage, or some parties his costars or, his idol friends throw. He barely stays in the dorm only coming back to change and refresh. On the free days, he goes back home or, sleeps in. Taehyung has been involved in many scandals for a twenty-five year old male idol but, the singer is barely apologetic. He is able to manoeuvre himself out of the sticky situations every time and they have to grudgingly let it go. Yoongi doesn’t know if he should shout at him or, laugh at his bravado. Instead, he chooses to keep his mouth shut.

 

They worry about him but, Taehyung is past listening.

 

*

 

Yoongi spent the first half of the year worrying, panicking that he likes their golden maknae. Likes.

 

He has passed majority of the time watching the younger one. His eyes trailing after him, noting his every movement like a hawk. That time when they were on MBC Music Core and Jungkook fell asleep in the green room or, that time when they had joined the Running Man cast for a special episode and Jungkook fell and was rolling on the ground. Or, that time, they were at a fansign meet in Mokdong Music Art-Jayla Art Hall when Jungkook was laughing and making a heart with one hand. Or, the fansign right after that at Bundang when he smiled while accepting the rose being given to him. Then, in Osaka, when a fan asks which member he is closest to and Jungkook is grinning. Or, that time in their dorm when Jungkook was roaming around in the dorm just in a towel. Or, when he sees the released footage of their Behind the Scenes of their Bon Voyage2(they finally have been on that Europe Tour they were supposed to go on three years back) and fell a bout of jealousy rising in him.

 

Later, it’s on Jungkook’s birthday, the realization strikes him like a lightning, dumping on him like a revelation as the youngest of their group is slicing that cake and feeds it to Taehyung, that it’s not Jungkook.

 

It is Jungkook. It’s just not Jungkook in the I-am-noticing-him-because-I-like-him way. He notices the maknae not because of the peaceful look he has on his face while falling asleep in the green room during MBC Music Core recording but because of the person on whose lap his head is resting; said person combing his hair with his fingers. He doesn’t care much about Jungkook falling during the Running Man special episode as much it is for him and the member he was rolling down together with after a tug-of-war.

 

Or, even that time at the fansign meet in Mokdong Music Art-Jayla Art Hall when Jungkook is laughing and making a heart with one hand, Yoongi observes from the corner of his eyes, his hand holding the other member’s to make a complete heart to the much delight of the fans and Yoongi’s disgust. Or, the fansign right after that at Bundang when the maknae smiles while accepting the rose being given to him, Yoongi isn’t necessarily looking at him but, at the person who is smirking and giving the red rose, kneeling on one leg. Then, in Osaka, when a fan asks which member he is closest to and Jungkook is grinning, Yoongi’s heart isn’t thudding because he expects to say Yoongi’s name but because the rapper knows who it’s going to be. Or, that time in their dorm when Jungkook is roaming around in the dorm just in a towel, he can’t help but glance away every time from the TV and hear their youngest two members muffled laughing voices from the next room and it’s distinctly not Jungkook who is giggling. Or, when he sees the released footage of the Behind the Scenes of their Bon Voyage2, he isn’t jealous for Jungkook but is jealous of Jungkookie.

 

Because it is Taehyung on whose lap his head was rested.

 

Because it is Taehyung with whom he fell.

 

Because it is Taehyung, Jungkook was making a heart with.

 

Because it is Taehyung whose name Yoongi knows Jungkook was going to say.

 

Because it is Taehyung, their maknae was jostling with, being too much physically close to him.

 

Fans know Idol V to be a very tactile person, craving for love and affection. That’s what Taehyung is but, only on screen. He is distant and cold most of the times otherwise. He mostly keeps to himself. His relationship with Jungkook has managed to survive, however, while everyone else’s has fallen through. Even though they keep it up for fans’ and for image’s sake, Taehyung’s relationship with the members are strained. In Yoongi’s case, practically non-existent. Most of the time, they are like two strangers in the dorm. Taehyung is polite and courteous around him. Always saying a ‘hi, hyung. Need help?’ ‘Are you looking for someone, hyung?’ Sometimes Yoongi is playful and teases him in satoori on live broadcast and Taehyung laughs it off in that rich, deep voice of his. Occasionally, his cheeks redden a slight bit and Yoongi pats himself mentally. Taehyung pulls his chair out for him when they are out somewhere. Taehyung makes sure when it is his turn to give their clothes for laundry, to return the freshly dried clothes to Yoongi’s room, neatly folded and placed on his mattress. Taehyung is very attentive to him. He does things without prompting and Yoongi would have missed it all because the gestures, his actions are so subtle but, Yoongi is a very observant person and sometimes, he is grateful for that.

 

Sometimes he also feels frustrated because of it. What is he supposed to do knowing Taehyung is so attentive towards his needs that he leaves a bottle of water outside the door - whenever he, Yoongi is late in the studio, working with a mug of coffee in one hand - when Yoongi himself has forgotten it. What is he supposed to do knowing Taehyung knows all these little things about him and does things like losing a game when they are on a variety recording just because he, Yoongi doesn’t have to go through the punishment and not to have to eat the thing he hates? Taehyung consumes it instead.

 

Taehyung, also isn’t aware that he is allergic to one of the ingredients on the plate meant for the punishment. His eyes redden instantly and starts coughing maniacally. None of them have been ever scared like they had been that day. By the time Taehyung is taken to the hospital, his face is swollen. He has trouble breathing, his eyes constantly watering, his fingers shaking and twitching. He is kept under observation for three days. Those three days are horrible days for them. The doctor informs them that it is a usual reaction to a chemical found in medicinal drugs. The doctor asks their manager if Taehyung is on some medicines. Both the idol and the managers say no. The doctors are confused. Yoongi finds out from Seokjin who is informed by Namjoon that the leader asked Taehyung in confidential if he is on some form of drugs. Yoongi is surprised that Namjoon even asked such a question. Taehyung, Seokjin says, assured him that he is on no drugs. He drinks and smokes but, he doesn’t do drugs. They can trust him at least on that much.

 

The list of things Yoongi feels guilty for keeps increasing.

 

The news of Taehyung’s hospitalisation spreads like a wildfire throughout the media. Their SNS account blow up with tweets from fan’s asking about him. So, are their fancafes. The sasaengs outside the hospital are trying to sneak in but, the security has the premise secured. The members, of course, are not allowed either. They need no more fans gathering over there. Only their manager Sejin is there. Taehyung’s mother calls Seokjin. He tries to calm her down. Eventually, Yoongi asks for Seokjin’s phone and speaks to her. She composes herself after talking to him. He promises her that she’ll be the first person to be informed about Taehyung’s state. Taehyung will not want his mother to be distressed. After he disconnects the call, Seokjin gives him a strange look and pats him on the shoulder. Yoongi shrugs. Yoongi knows Taehyung’s mother likes him (they have met multiple times now) and thinks him to be a responsible man and perhaps, the fact that he too is from Daegu helps?

 

When Taehyung is discharged from the hospital, only Yoongi and Jimin are present along with their manager. Yoongi calls his mother and informs just like he had promised that her son is well, soon to be returning to their dorm. There’s nothing to be worried about. She thanks him profusely and tells him he is invited for dinner to a very grand meal at their humble Kim household when he next visits Daegu. She is so glad that Taehyung has such hyungs to look after him. Yoongi ducks his head, his cheeks flushing a little. Her statement reminding him of his mother’s.

 

Seokjin titters and informs Taehyung in a full living room of their dorm how Yoongi calmed his mother on the phone when none of them could. The rapper opens his mouth, ready to shoot back but, Taehyung says,

 

“Yea. My eomma likes people like my appa.” The comment is so offhanded. Yoongi’s mouth falls shut. The singer turns around to look at Yoongi and adds, “Appa is usually the only one who can calm her down once she gets worked up. Thank you.” His facial expression is sincere. Yoongi grunts in reply.

 

Hoseok whistles. “Yoongi hyung is like your appa, huh?” Seokjin grins and claps Yoongi on the shoulder. “Isn’t your ideal man your father?” Hobi asks with a mischievous glint in his eyes. Jimin and Jungkook gape at the them. Yoongi is squashed between Seokjin and Hoseok, both of whom who sling an arm each over his shoulders. Taehyung splutters, flustered and excuses himself, stating he is tired and needs to rest. Namjoon laughs loudly. Yoongi’s stomach back-flips at the cute expression on Taehyung’s face. It has been so long since he saw him like that. He misses that Taehyung so much.

 

“He is still so innocent.” Hoseok says, his voice low and sad and then whispers so that it is audible only to Yoongi, “I wish we didn’t do things we regret.” Yoongi looks at him questioningly but, Hoseok pulls away just before Jungkook pushes at the dancer and grabs him in a headlock.

 

It’s as Jungkook blows out the candles on his birthday cake, the camera in Jimin’s hand shuts rolling and Taehyung drapes himself over Jungkook’s back and hugs him from behind that Yoongi realizes he observes Jungkook because Jungkook is almost always with Taehyung and Yoongi, to his surprise, doesn’t like it at all. Jungkook and Taehyung have become closer than ever in the past one year after a phase where they were not talking to each other; for reasons unknown to them. Taehyung pecks the birthday boy on the temples and takes a bite of the slice the maknae offers him. Yoongi averts his eyes, unable to digest the.. domesticity of it. He goes and stands beside the quiet dancer.

 

“Don’t you like the cake or, what?” He asks Hoseok who is staring down hard at his phone’s screen, standing at a corner of the room, away from the rest. His knuckles are turning white from the grip on his phone. Yoongi wraps his hand on it. “Hobi?”

 

“Yea?” Hoseok sounds a little off to him.

 

“Hey, you okay?” Yoongi looks at his friend with concern.

 

“Yea, yea, am okay, hyung.” Hoseok’s smiles, though it quite not reaching his eyes. Hoseok turns around. “I’ll come back in a sec.” The dancer hurries out of the room. Yoongi frowns. His attention is diverted by Jimin who calls him over for his share of the cake and the rapper forgets about the tensed air around his friend.

 

*

 

Yoongi muses darkly while watching Jungkook and Taehyung jostling each other over a birthday gift that the partners of the two idols will have a hard time. Not only will they have a stiff competition from all the fans and in general, because they have looks and fame, but also, in the form of Taehyung and Jungkook themselves even if Jungkook is straight. Both of them will be quite a threat for the other’s partner especially, considering Taehyung is gay and Taehyung is the only person Jungkook can consider himself to be gay for (as told by the very idol on a variety show.) Even if he laughed it off as a joke later, Yoongi knows there’s a degree of truth in it.

 

A lot of degree, he thinks bitterly.

 

He refuses to believe he is being jealous of Jungkook. Of that bunny dongsaeng of his. He chalks the sickening sensation in his stomach as acid from lack of eating and lies down on the couch to rest. He turns over, his eyes scanning the pattern of the upholstery on the couch (a handmade present from Jimin’s mother), his thumb the dark-coloured backrest. They have switched off the lights, music . It’s a struggle to stare at the pattern and his eyelids droop. It’s a slow beat, a very calming and soothing one. Suddenly, the music stops and he can hear the boys asking each other what to do next and pitching in their ideas. They continue arguing till Yoongi sits up, annoyed.

 

“Shut up.”

 

They stare at him.

 

“If you have nothing else to do then, sing.” They stare even more. “I’ll begin, okay? Don’t look at me like that, jeez. I won’t. fine.” Yoongi huffs and is going back to lying down but Jungkook says,

 

“No, hyung! Sing, sing.”

 

“Yea.” Jimin says from next to him. “It’s been a long time since I heard you sing.”

 

“I can’t even recall when that last time was.” Says Seokjin who then chuckles. Namjoon just smiles at Yoongi and so does Taehyung.

 

“Okay..” Yoongi says slowly. “I just said that to stop you guys from arguing. I didn’t actually mean-”

 

“You’re not getting away, Min Yoongi”, their eldest member says and sits on the floor opposite to the couch. They all sit down facing Yoongi who shifts uncomfortably under their gaze.

 

“Ugh..”

 

“Sing, hyung, sing!!!” Jimin and Jungkook chant in unison and Yoongi sighs.

 

“Fine. Don’t tell me I didn’t warn you when you suffer.” They roll their eyes at him. He takes a deep breath and exhales. Jimin giggles and both Seokjin and Yoongi shoot a glare in his direction. The words come out slow and cautious at first, the tone wavering.

 

“ We're too different, You know that well *
We aren't able to embrace each other's realities 
‘I don't understand’ , ‘I don't remember’ 
Words that will always just be words 
I don't expect them

 

The words start tumbling out easier than he thinks he will be able to. The words feel more meaningful to him. He closes his eyes, his head hitting the headrest of the couch.

 

“ I love you, 
I love you, To your warm touch...

We're too different, You know that well 
We aren't able to embrace, each other's wounds

The words won't come, it won't listen
My heart won't, Move like a heart 
I love you, I love you ”

 

It’s quiet in the room, he realizes. He is about to pass a sarcastic comment on that but, Taehyung’s voice stops him.

 

“What are you thinking? What are you saying? ” The singer says. Yoongi’s eyes fly open. He looks at Taehyung. He knows it’s part of the song. It’s part of the lyrics. His heart begins thudding.

 

Yoongi doesn’t use the tone of the song either. He simply says, “I love you, I love you.”

 

“Show me your feelings, I have no way of knowing.” Taehyung is looking at him, his gaze direct and piercing. Unrelenting.

 

Yoongi continues in monotone. “I love you, I love you.”

 

“No matter how hard I try to push you out, even if I burn all my feelings.” Taehyung’s voice is so deep and convincing. Yoongi can’t ignore it. The words feel too real even though he knows they are not. They can’t be. “I can't do it. I must be in love with you.” His stomach back-flips.

 

“I love you, I love you. To your warm touch… ” says Yoongi without missing a beat. “Please hold me. Please catch me.”

 

Yoongi is still staring at Taehyung. Taehyung is still looking back at him. His mind is pleasantly blank.

 

“That was a great performance.” Hoseok says and the moment is disturbed. Taehyung looks away first. The rest of the members start clapping along with Hoseok. “You guys did it even better than our Jinnie hyung.”

 

“Yah!” Seokjin exclaims, feeling attacked. “Can’t you guys leave me out for once?!”

 

Namjoon gives Yoongi an odd look and says, “It was a really different version of nan noreul saranghae.. Nice. You too, Tae.”

 

Taehyung gives a slight nod and looks at Yoongi and smiles. It’s only a slight curve of the lips but, it oddly feels like an achievement as his heart flutters. Hoseok sits down next to him, slinging an arm over his shoulder. “So, Suga-ssi, do you have plans on taking over as our lead vocalist?” Jimin laughs.

 

“Ha. Ha. Very funny, Hobi.” He snorts and then, tacks on, “I just might.” They all laugh loudly at that. One by one they are singing their favourite artists. Then, Jungkook leaves to record a cover for the fans. Taehyung trails after him out of the room. Jimin receives a call from the idol he is presently seeing and leaves. Namjoon picks a book he had left on their rack and begins reading it. He has switched the lights back on. Seokjin is lying down, his head resting on the leader’s lap, typing away on his phone. Hoseok and Yoongi are sitting on the couch, watching nothing in particular.

 

“So, what’s up?”

 

“Manager hyung called me.”

 

“Oh. What for?”

 

“Ugh.. for We Got Married .”

 

Yoongi frowns. “That’s stupid.”

 

Hoseok sighs. “I know.”

 

“Tell them no.”

 

“It’s not decided yet. They’re just considering it.”

 

“Considering it?” Yoongi hisses. “They know you are in a relationship!”

 

“Hyung, nothing’s for sure yet.”

 

“Hobi, you can’t actually be agreeing to this. Are you?”

 

“It doesn’t matter, hyung.” Hoseok slaps him lightly on the shoulder. “Okay. I’ll go off to sleep now.” He yawns and stands up. “I’m too tired.” He raises his voice and waves at Seokjin and Namjoon while crossing the room. “Goodnight boys. Sleep early. We have to leave early tomorrow for the music festival.”

 

“Yes, hyung” Namjoon replies monotonously. Seokjin just rolls his eyes, not looking away from his phone’s screen. Hoseok turns back to look at Yoongi and mouths, “That hyung is smitten” and makes a face. Yoongi chuckles.

 

“Don’t think I can’t see you Jung Hoseok.” Seokjin says promptly without looking up. Yoongi laughs loudly and Hoseok saunters off. Yoongi chuckles again and lies back down.

 

He closes his eyes.

 

***

 

They were on the European trip. Jimin sprained his leg and was given the lower berth. Taehyung’s one. Yoongi’s was on the one above that. Taehyung, who had been left behind and had reached pretty late didn’t know that Jimin was resting in his berth. Yoongi was woken up rudely in the middle of the night and shoved aside as Taehyung climbed into his berth. Both of them grumbled, unhappy with the arrangement. Yoongi muttered a few curses and pulled his pillow closer and shifted closer to the wall of the trailer, giving the younger space. A few seconds later, he was deep asleep.

 

It felt like hours later. He was hot, sweating, like he was being swathed in heat. He grunted and shifted, trying to make himself comfortable. It shouldn’t feel like he was being baked.

 

He heard the voice first. He felt the hands, the body later.

 

Taehyung was wrapped on him, only his legs carefully not touching him. His hands were holding Yoongi in a crushing grip.

 

“Hyung..”

 

His eyes fluttered open and then, immediately clasped shut.

 

“Hyung.. why does this happen to us, hyung? Why us?” Taehyung shifted the arm under Yoongi’s head so that he was able to move his fingers carefully through the blond locks. “Why do situations find us this way?” Yoongi had no idea what the boy is talking about. “Why do I have to rely on moments like this to tell you these.” Yoongi’s eyes opened again. Moments like this? Had this happened before? Had Taehyung ‘talked’ to him before when he was sleeping? “You know, I wanna tell you a lot of things.” The hand splayed on his stomach put a little more pressure on it and his stomach is tingled. His skin tingled. His eyes shuttered close. “But, it’s all a waste of time.” Suddenly, there was a wet kiss on his forehead and Yoongi was surprised he even held back from reacting. He was lying stiff, pretending to be still asleep. “You are a nice man, Min Yoongi. I hope you have forgiven yourself.” The fingers were just carding through his hair and Yoongi was feeling sleepy again. The occasional scrape of the nail against his scalp and his forehead brought him back to consciousness. “Do you know what I wanna do to you?” Taehyung suddenly pulled him closer and Yoongi bit his lip to not yelp. They are pressed head to toe and Yoongi’s ears turned red. His was thankful he was facing away from Taehyung. Taehyung spoke right into his ears. “Do you? Do you, hyung?” Yoongi involuntarily shivered. He was conscious of the little area of his skin exposed where his shirt rode back up and Taehyung’s arm was dangerously close - dangerously close to all the areas Yoongi didn’t need to think about and what was wrong with this kid? What was he doing? His heart beat quickened and he was going to elbow him and shove him away but Taehyung nuzzled against the crook of his neck and the rapper’s head unconsciously tilted his head, baring his neck. Yoongi’s cloth bunched where Taehyung’s fingers on his stomach gripped it. His other hand was on his head, gentle. The two touches were so different, contrasting, it’s made his head dizzy, the place hotter and difficult to breath. Taehyung’s one nail slightly scratched his soft stomach skin and his breath hitched.

 

.

 

Did he hear it? Does he know? Get a grip Min Yoongi. You are older. You can deal with this. With whatever th-

 

Taehyung bit him exactly in the joint between the column of his neck and his shoulder and Yoongi whimpered. His toes curled from the unexpected action and his stomach dislodged from wherever it was and fell. His heart went into an overdrive and his teeth was digging into his lower lip because what was this he was not ready what the Kim ing Taehyung I’ll ing ki- and he gasped because Taehyung kissed the same exact spot he bit and Yoongi held himself back from turning around and shouting at him.

 

“I want to hurt you, hyung.” Taehyung voice was low and muffled. “I want to see you hurt.” The grip of his hands became tighter and Yoongi’s twitched a bit but, was otherwise motionless. Just his chest rising and falling rapidly. Yoongi frowned. “I want to see on you what I can’t show. I want them to see on you what is in me. I want you hurt, hyung. Hurt, physically. Is this selfish of me?” Taehyung lightly nipped him again on his neck. Yoongi spasmed. Just spasmed but, was quiet. He was still ing quiet and oh lord was this a test? Taehyung twisted their legs together and Yoongi couldn’t bring himself to pay attention to what the singer meant. His mind was screaming. His body was screaming. He would either punch himself or, Taehyung but, it had been so long since Taehyung had talked to him more than monosyllables but then again, this wasn’t talking either. He needed to do something. Just. ing. Something. This is a total ambush he wasn’t ready for. ing Kim Taehyung.

 

“It would have been so much easier if either of us were a girl.” He tugged at Yoongi’s waist and turned the rapper around, towards him. “It would have been better if you had been the girl. I would have fought everyone and everything to get you.” The kid had watched way too many sodding romantic movies. Yoongi mentally sighed. “I never thought my ideal man, I would find him and then would have to imagine him as a girl just because it’s easier.” Taehyung chuckled, somewhere close to his face. Yoongi couldn’t take the risk of opening his eyes anymore, lest Taehyung noticed if he hadn’t already. Yoongi wasn’t the actor here after all. The chuckle was low and it rumbled in Taehyung’s chest and Yoongi shifted imperceptibly closer to the source of the sound.

 

“If you were a girl, hyung, you’ll be so cute. You were so pretty in that maid’s outfit. So small and cute - just like you are now. You will be.. may be a little more prissy but, still be just the way you are- You are perfect anyway.”

 

Yoongi’s heart skipped a beat.

 

The ?

 

Is.. is Taehyung confessing? Is this a confession?

 

Taehyung enveloped him in a hug and kissed him on the other side of his neck. It’s wet and sloppy and Yoongi reached out for Taehyung’s chest, grabbing the clothes. He pressed himself into the broader chest and inhaled the scent. It smelled of the excess detergent Jungkook used during laundry. The singer was quiet for a minute and then said, “Our kids would have been so nice. So cute. Squishable. I would have kissed them all the time. Played with them all the time. All five-six of them looking like you. Mini you.” Yoongi stilled.

 

The ?

 

What the actual double ?

 

Taehyung pulled his head back and planted a kiss on his nose and then rested his chin on top of Yoongi’s head. They were practically spooning now but Yoongi filed that thought away for a later inspection. The singer sighed and was back again at carding his fingers through Yoongi’s hair, his thumb caressing the side of his head, his temples. He moved his head again, kissing Yoongi on the forehead, his eyelids, his nose - - and his chin. Oh.

 

“I want to protect you, hyung. Protect you from everyone.” Huh. Yoongi rolled his eyes mentally. “Sometimes you look so fragile, I want to keep you away from everybody’s reach.” He pulled Yoongi’s face up by the chin and it took a lot of strength to not just open his eyes and demand ‘why?’ Because he knew if he did, Taehyung will be gone.

 

“You know, am not the one who kisses people when drunk. That’s you.”

 

Huh?

 

“I kissed you - my first kiss and you don’t remember. You don’t remember things if you are not fully conscious.. like now.” Yoongi’s face twitched in surprise but, he was doing his best to not let his control slip. His heartbeat, however, was loud and out there for everyone to hear. “You won’t remember this come morning and I don’t know why am even..” Taehyung trailed off and Yoongi was left with curiosity. Why you are what?

 

He could tell though. He could.

 

“Don’t get too drunk in public, hyung. Don’t drink with strangers or, acquaintances.” Yoongi scoffed mentally. “Our industry is filled with leeches. I know. They will try to take advantage of that.” Yoongi’s grouched mentally ‘you are one to say. What are you doing now, eh?’ but, then his heart started thudding in it’s cage for entirely different reason. Did Taehyung have to face the kind of people he was warning Yoongi about? Yoongi would kill anybody who hurt s.

 

At least, he would die trying.

 

He was done pretending to be asleep. He opened his eyes which first saw Taehyung’s neck, having fallen back to their previous position after Taehyung let go of his chin. He opened his mouth to ask Taehyung.

 

But, dear old Jungkook, the blithering idiotic maknae came in like ever freaking always.

 

“Hyung? Hyung?” He was pushing Taehyung so, Yoongi also got pushed in the action but, he held onto Taehyung tightly.

 

“Guk-ah? What happened?” Taehyung’s voice was louder now and sounded a little coarse.

 

“Come. You can sleep in my bunk.” Jungkook whispered and was tugging his friend and Yoongi never found their youngest member as irritating and nagging as then. Why did he need Taehyung for every single thing? Taehyung would have more space in Yoongi’s bunk than in Jungkook’s. He was sure Taehyung too knew that because it was that obvious.

 

Sadly, he didn’t and Yoongi was irked.

 

“Uh.. okay.” Taaehyung extracted his arm from under Yoongi’s head so slowly like Yoongi’s head might be made of porcelain and could get hurt that easily. His right hand was gone from Yoongi’s waist in another heartbeat. Few seconds later, he was gone from the trailer too.

 

He stared after the door as it shut and then fell back on the bunk with a groan.

 

Taehyung kissed Yoongi when he was drunk? That meant Jungkook had told them the truth. He really did see them kissing on the Inkiyago night.

 

Yoongi was Taehyung’s ideal man, eh?

 

He glowed. He practically glowed till the ‘five-six children’ entered his mind and he rolled over in embarrassment and pushed his face into the pillow and sheets because  .

 

His face was burning. It was burning and unable to help himself, he started laughing.

 

Taehyung called him pretty. His face was red. Children. If Yoongi were a girl, then.. have his children..

 

Oh my god.

 

Oh my ing god.

 

.

 

He laughed and laughed and laughed hysterically in mortification, unable to control himself. The embarrassment was too much till Jimin woke up and asked him if he was alright. Yoongi gasped in between the non-stop laughter, tears prickling at his eyes.

 

“No, Jiminnie. , no.”

 

Poor injured Jiminnie asked him to shut up and to go back to sleep coz don’t disturb my sleep, hyung but, he couldn’t.

 

He shut up a lot later, his heart and mind soaring up in the air with lightness and happiness.

 

The entire following day he was cheerful, keeping to himself, snapping away pictures and smiling to himself and Seokjin and Hoseok threw amused glances at him. When Namjoon called to check up on them (they were on an outdoor location), Seokjin said ‘Yoongi has lost his mind’ (he was just admiring two ducks and how may be one of them resembled a certain singer) and Hoseok piped up from the other side, ‘It’s like he’s in love.’ Hoseok made a face when Yoongi gave him a blank look. ‘Are you?’ Seokjin asked, leaning forward. Yoongi chuckled and moved onto the next flock of birds.

 

Of course, when he woke up the next morning, there was Jungkook in Taehyung’s bunk. Just of ing course.

 

When the show ws later aired and the behind the scenes footage were also present, it included the time Taehyung and Jungkook were in bunk.

 

He didn’t miss Taehyung kissing Jungkook’s arm like it was the most natural thing to do and Yoongi clenched his finger and left the seat a wh