This fic officially begins!

It's a canon divergence. From Inkigayo. That is, everything that has happened in real life till Inkigayo has happened for the fic too. Everything from the night of their first Inkigayo win is fictitious (a l'tl exceptions here & there)

The prologue bit happens between the incidents before and after the first " * "

Plus, this fic requires a little suspense of disbelief XD

( l'tl bit of comments n love is much needed. Hehe )

( yellow zinnia - daily remembrance )

It is the last day of their promotions and their first win on Inkigayo. Bang PD, their manager and staff, everyone is elated.They go straight to a food joint from the event to celebrate their win. To Yoongi, it is like winning his first prize all over again. He is happy. They all are so happy. Hence, they all may have drunk a bottle or, two more of soju. They get to have a lot of meat. They are now on their way back to their dorm. Curiously, it is Taehyung who is driving the van and their manager is sitting in the front with him. Everyone else is huddled together, singing and trying to rap on top of their voices. Yoongi wants to laugh at their rapping skills, however, he is busy slurring, trying to imitate Jimin’s high notes. Their shortest member erupts into a fit of giggles and Hoseok is thumping him so hard on the shoulders he gets dislodged from his seat and falls forward into the gap between the two seats where Namjoon and Jungkook are seated. He is struggling to get up but, somebody’s hand is on his neck and he is being pressed down. Any other time Yoongi would have been furious, may be, he’ll be in the morning when he recalls it but, at that moment he is distracted by Taehyung’s soberness whose arms are on the wheel. He is looking at Yoongi with ... concern etched on his face. Taehyung immediately, turns his face away when he realises the rapper is looking at him. Yoongi smirks from where he is lying in the van. It is odd how the manager is laughing and at the same time, rubbing slow circles on their assigned driver’s back. It is almost like he is trying to comfort Taehyung. Then, he is suddenly being yanked back by his collar (Yoongi swears Hell awaits for whoever did that) and is pushed onto one of the seats at the back and they are debating about the rappers of the rival companies and how they are just visuals and not actual rappers and Yoongi has forgotten all about the driver in front.

His memory is a little blurred from there. Later in the afternoon, he will be told that Taehyung took a detour and treated everyone to ice-cream. Apparently, Yoongi had demanded for two and had eaten the taller boy’s share too. They all had wanted to go to the beach but, something about Hoseok needing to leave early for his home the next day shuts them up. They understand what it means - the time for one’s family. When Yoongi wakes up in the afternoon with a terrible hangover, feeling sloshed, he finds only Seokjin, Jimin and Jungkook in the dorm. Jin hyung rushes to bring him a nasty looking green coloured juice saying it’ll help him with the headache. He chugs it down without a question. Seokjin is impressed. Yoongi shrugs and joins the youngest members of the group on the couch in front of the screen. The youngest members also include Taehyung but, he does not seem to be around.

“Where is Namjoon?”

“Joonie hyung? He went to see off Hobi hyung.” Jimin is curled next to Jungkook who is busy playing the new installment of Starcraft. “Even Tae went with them.” Yoongi ignores the mumble directed towards him and stretches his limbs. His joints are aching. He is growing old so soon, he laments mentally and groans. The maknae suddenly jabs him in the chest without taking his eyes off the screen. “Please go brush. You stink.” The elder male glares at Jungkook and the snickering dancer next to him before he gets up. Around thirty minutes later, he is in the studio working on his new song. By the time he comes back, it’s well past midnight and he is too hungry. He is rummaging in the kitchen when he hears Seokjin call out.

“Namjoon? Is that you? Is T- Oh. Yoongi. I thought you will be holed up in there till morning.”

“I just came for food and coffee.”, he says while pointing out the used coffee maker. “Why are you up though?”

Before he can reply, they hear the door to their dorm opening. Seokjin hurries towards the entrant in the semi-darkness and Yoongi follows him only bumping into almost everything on the way. He curses. Standing near the door is a grim faced Namjoon who is standing with his shoe in one hand and socks in another ambushed by their eldest’s questions.

The bleached hair rapper is able to catch onto the end bits of Seokjin’s hissing. “So, he is not coming?”

“Who is not coming?”, Yoongi grunts in frustration with the mess cluttered on the floor.

“Taehyung.”

He blinks. He wasn’t expecting that. “Why?”

“He won’t be joining us for the Europe tour either.”

“What? Why? Where’s he now?”

“He went back home.”

The tall leader drops the socks and the shoe and goes to his room but, not before giving Yoongi a somber look which leaves him puzzled. Seokjin looks torn between wanting to tell the short rapper something and following the leader. He chooses the latter. Yoongi stands near the entrance with the unused coffee mug in his hand. He wonders if it is because the deep-voiced singer is avoiding him. It is a plausible reason. Even though Taehyung is not the type to avoid. It has always been Yoongi who has made the situations awkward. He wishes he could change it, but, he can’t. He can’t like the younger male. Sometimes he feels guilty. Other times, he hates Taehyung’s feelings. Never Taehyung though. He sighs and goes back to the kitchen to reheat some of the leftovers and gobbles them up as soon as they are done. He pours steaming hot coffee into a flask and takes it along with the mug to his studio.

He checks his phone while sipping said coffee from the mug while reclining in his chair. There are several missed calls from Seokjin, Hoseok and Jungkook and a few texts too.

[ Hobi / 21: 55] You must be in studio. Tae is fine, btw.

[ Kookie / 19: 23] Jin hyung is worried. Can you call back if you hear anything from Joonie hyung?

[ Hobi / 18: 47] Hyung, do you know about Taetae? I hope he is okay.

[Jin hyung / 16: 12] Did Namjoon call you? Do you know where he is?

Yoongi frowns. He immediately texts Hoseok and flicks his phone on the table in exasperation. He wants to call their leader and ask. He was the one who was with Taehyung in the morning, but, the leader must be tired, he muses. He is exasperated because the topic of Taehyung is always avoided in front of him. He doesn’t get why. Okay, he gets it but, he still doesn’t understand why. He plugs in his earphones and starts the piece he had been working on. Five minutes don’t even pass before he picks his phone up again and sends the red-haired singer a text.

[ 02: 44] Hopefully, u r fine now.

Their Europe tour is cancelled. Without Taehyung, they are not leaving. Yoongi is adamant. He is not sure the reason behind Taehyung's dropping out of their plan but, he wants to find out. Is it because Taehyung wants to avoid him or, is it because he is actually sick and left directly from the hospital for his home without coming back to their dorm?

***

However, finding the taller singer standing in the kitchen and preparing dinner for just the two of them is even more confusing. If he is avoiding him, he wouldn’t be here. Would he? Taehyung isn’t usually the avoiding type nor the subtle type though the previous few weeks had been obvious that the younger idol was avoiding him. It left even Yoongi confounded. Why the sudden change? But, right now, this, it befuddles Yoongi even more - Taehyung cooking for him, smiling at him, at so much ease. Taehyung falls asleep next to him on the floor when the rapper is trying to finish the food cooked by said person. He does not remember a time he shared comfortably with the singer in a long time. Starting from their trainee days to their post-debut days, something has always been amiss. The last few days had been worse. Before, he used to avoid the taller boy. The past few days, he was avoiding him. Yoongi didn’t know how to respond to that, what to think about that. He is not used to Taehyung avoiding him. He takes his phone out of his pocket and swipes through the inbox. His text to Taehyung had been unanswered. Three days, they had been left unreplied. He looks at the sleeping figure next to him. Taehyung never takes sixty minutes before replying to any of Yoongi’s messages. The singer will even reply to his “mortal enemies” within six hours.[Or, so he had said.] Seventy two hours had passed and Taehyung had not replied. Yet, whatever the reason, he is looking at Yoongi and smiling now like he has forgotten the rapper used to make him want to avoid the latter.

Yoongi clears the table slowly and as quietly as is possible. He does not want to disturb the younger male. He looks sleep deprived and tired; a purplish darkness under his eyes. His brows are knitted in his sleep and he is curious what Taehyung is dreaming about. He is debating whether he should wake up the boy or, not when there is a knock on the door and his phone starts ringing from somewhere inside his room at the same time. He gets up and quickly opens the door. It’s Namjoon and Seokjin. “How was it?”

“It was fine. We-”

Seokjin is interrupted by Namjoon who sees Taehyung sleeping on the floor. “What is he doing here?” Yoongi takes the duffle bag from Seokjin and throws it on the couch.

“What do you mean?”

He hears Namjoon mumble ‘he’s not supposed to be here’. He has thrown his shoes in haste (which irks Seokjin who is hissing at him) and goes to the singer sleeping on the floor.

“Taehyung, wake up.” Namjoon is shaking him by the shoulders.

“What are you doing? Let him sleep.” Yoongi looks between the tall leader and the sleeping figure.

“He is not supposed to be here. He is supposed to rest. He is not well.”

“He is well enough if he chooses to come back.”

Namjoon gives him a withering look. “This is him. Kim Taehyung. He obviously does not know what is good for him.”

That shuts up Yoongi. He is aware that it is not the only thing Namjoon means. He is, in fact, hinting at something different entirely if the glare that Seokjin is giving the leader is anything to go by. Something which involves Taehyung’s unrequited feelings for Yoongi. Because Yoongi is one of those things that Taehyung clearly does not get is not good for him. Even Yoongi knows it, so, why does not Taehyung? Why does he insist on liking the gray-haired rapper even after all these years? The peaceful look on the sleeping person forces him to open his mouth again. “Let him sleep. He needs rest, right? If you wake him up, that’s not happening.”

Namjoon sighs and pulls his hands back. “Fine. I am tired. Goodnight, hyung.”

“Goodnight.”

Yoongi can’t explain it, but, it isn’t just with Taehyung he has been feeling the past few days to be something different. There is even Namjoon. Their leader is hardly talking to him outside of what is absolutely necessary.

When the morning comes, Yoongi finds himself alone in the living room. He had fallen asleep on the couch while watching some drama that Jimin had insisted he watch. Seokjin is puttering around in the kitchen while the leader and the kids are sleeping in their rooms. Taehyung is missing again.

“Hyung?”

“Morning, Yoongi. Hungry?” Seokjin smiles while slicing some apples. He is holding the same knife which Taehyung had been using for tearing open some packet. Taehyung does not believe in using scissors for such matters.

“Yea.”

He is still standing there feeling a little bit of a deja vu but, it is Seokjin and not Taehyung standing there and Yoongi does not understand what it is that his brain is trying to process.

“Did you want something?” Seokjin is looking at him curiously.

“No - I - Ugh, where’s Taehyung?”

“Taehyung?” Seokjin looks surprised. “He left an hour back for his home.”

“He went home again?”

“Yea.”

Yoongi frowns. “Why did he come then?”

Seokjin his head and looks like he