(acacia blossom - concealed love)

 

 

Yoongi wakes up in the morning, frowning, trying to recall what it was that he was dreaming about when he remembers Taehyung sleeping on the terrace and shoots up from the bed, about to run in the direction of the terrace, however, the neatly folded bedspread, comforter and scarf on one corner of his bed stops him. He looks out of his window. The sky’s still dark. He steps outside, taking the steps. He doesn’t find Taehyung in the living room. He frowns. He trudges back up the stairs and goes to the terrace. The singer is sitting in the spot where Yoongi had left him. Taehyung’s back is facing him.

 

“We need to take the first train.”

 

He speaks softly, not wanting to disturb the peaceful scene in front of him. It reminds him of the time the singer had been standing on their dorm’s terrace a few days back. Taehyung’s back visibly stiffens before it relaxes. Taehyung gets up from the spot and turns around slowly. His eyes are red. Yoongi swallows. “Taehy-”

 

“We should get ready then.”

 

Yoongi isn’t sure what he wants to say. He isn’t sure what happened. He wants to stop the boy and apologise but, he is already gone and Yoongi is left behind, perplexed.

 

***

 

He showers quickly. Yoongi wakes his mother up, informing her that they’d be leaving for Seoul in an hour. He then proceeds to prepare breakfast for all three of them. Taehyung returns from shower when he is in the middle of preparation. After he is satisfied with his cooking, he takes them out to the dining space about to call his mother and Taehyung but, he finds them already seated at the table. His mother making small talk with the taller boy. Yoongi stops in his steps, surprised. Taehyung is sitting with his back straight, his head partially bowed and being very polite with his answers. However crazy Taehyung be may, Yoongi knows he is one of the rare few people Yoongi has met in his life who knows and understands and respects family values - something Yoongi really likes/admires about the other boy. His mother suddenly turns her head and asks him,

 

“Why are you standing there, Yoongi? Food will get cold.”

 

Yoongi flushes and hurries to put the utensils in his hand on the table but, Taehyung gets up from his seat and takes them from him.

 

“I’ll help you.” He says.

 

They soon begin eating after Yoongi brings them spoon. They eat in silence and the rapper is totally fine with it. Taehyung offers to help him with clearing up the table but Yoongi dismisses it. Taehyung hurries to get his glasses and mask from Yoongi’s room and then, they are leaving. Yoongi has changed into an old pair of clothes and he feels uncomfortable in the way they cling to him. Taehyung has changed into the clothes he was wearing while leaving from Seoul. The singer bows at his mother, thanking her before he steps out of the house. Yoongi hugs his mother, kissing her on the temple. He bends down to put his shoes on when he sees the small smile playing on her lips.

 

“Mother?” He asks, curious.

 

“He is a nice boy.”

 

“Huh?” Yoongi blinks while fiddling with his shoe’s laces.

 

“Taehyung - that kid is nice.”

 

He simply nods unable to discern what makes his mother suddenly think he is nice. After tying a nice knot, he picks his other shoe. “I’m glad you have him.” His head snaps up.

 

“Mum?”

 

His voice almost sounds squeaky but, she doesn’t clarify and smiles at him. The shoe falls from his hand. “Mum?” He repeats dumbly.

 

She pats his head lovingly. “You deserve all the love in this world. I wish I could have done more for you.” Yoongi opens his mouth to protest but, she shushes him. “Like I said, I’m glad you have him. I hope the others are also looking after you.”

 

Yoongi gapes at her. “Mum, it’s not- it’s not what you think.”

 

She frowns.“It’s okay.”

 

“No, it’s really not.”

 

“Hyung, hurry up!” Taehyung calls from outside.

 

Yoongi shoots back ‘Yea, a sec’ in a heartbeat out of habit and his mother raises an eyebrow at him. His eyes widen and his cheeks heat up. She chuckles and turns back, walking towards the kitchen.

 

“Mum, it’s not-” “Hyung!”

 

“A minute, Taehyung!” He can hear his mother’s muffled laughter and his cheeks burn. “Dammit.” He curses and hurriedly wears the shoe. “Am leaving. Bye, Mum! Lock the door.” He rushes out, slamming the door behind him. Their booked cab is waiting in the driveway. He walks straight to the cab and gets in. Taehyung slips into the space next to him.

 

“What’s wrong? Are you not feeling well?” Yoongi grunts and rubs his hands together. “Are you feeling cold?”

 

Taehyung takes his hands and rubs them. Yoongi pulls them back in reflex, the implication in his mother’s word making his pale cheeks remain red. The singer takes his hands back too albeit slowly. “Sorry.” Taehyung takes his glasses and mask out and puts them on and turns his head around to look out of the window. They don’t exchange any other word the rest of the journey. They sit next to each other in the train but, Taehyung spends most of his time sleeping or talking to Jungkook on the phone.

 

It’s only when the train rolls into their station’s platform and is slowing down, Taehyung breaks the slightly awkward silence. They are standing near the door, eager to get off the carriage and go back as quickly as possible. The singer is standing next to the rapper. Taehyung intertwines their fingers and Yoongi stares at their joined fingers surprised with the sudden action. Their hands match well together, he observes. They both have large hands, their skin complexions even contrast well.

 

He sees more than he feels the tug as the taller boy pulls at the joined hands and Yoongi looks up at Taehyung.

 

“Promise me, hyung.” The static voice in the carriage announcing their arrival over their heads is very loud. He can barely hear the other. “Promise me.” Yoongi’s brows knit in confusion.

 

“Promise what?” Their both voices are muffled.

 

“You’ll not fall in love.” His eyes widen, taken aback. The door ‘dings’ and slides open, rattling. “Because it’ll hurt. It hurts a lot.” Then the fingers are slipping out of his grip and Taehyung is jumping out of the carriage. A crowd swarms into the carriage and Yoongi momentarily loses the sight of Taehyung’s disappearing back. He manages to stumble out just before the door is about to shut and wonders why Taehyung’s words makes his heart stutter.

 

 

***

 

 

Taehyung was waiting for him with Park Bogum who has come to pick them up. Yoongi is dropped at the dorm and Taehyung leaves with his friend. As soon as he enters their dorm, Hoseok’s punch greets him. He holds his nose, head reeling back from the action. He hears the collective shouts of the other members.

 

“Who the hell do you think you are running out us on like that?!” Hoseok shouts. “Who the hell do you think you are that you can just leave like that in anger?! Throw your phone away like that! Aren’t we friends? The !!” Hoseok spits in anger, “the do you know how scared we were? Iwas?” Yoongi grits his teeth expecting Hoseok to send him reeling again but he is only enveloped in warmth. “Don’t leave like that, you er. Running away will not solve anything.” Yoongi holds his friend tightly, taking a second’s solace in his friend’s crushing grip. He places his head in the crook of his friend’s shoulders and they stay like that, holding each other, supporting each other till Yoongi starts laughing, albeit embarrassed.

 

“Okay! You can let go of me now. ” He says, his voice muffled against Hoseok’s shoulder.

 

Hoseok pulls himself back, looking at Yoongi’s face. His eyes suspiciously look wet and Yoongi gives him a reassuring smile. “Am sorry.” Then, suddenly, he is being crushed again with the added weight of Seokjin and Yoongi squawks. “Hyung!” He cries out, both of them knocking the air right out of his lungs.

 

“Don’t pull that again on us, okay?” Seokjin glares at him and then, adds good-naturedly, “otherwise, I’ll cut off those limbs off yours.” Yoongi rolls his eyes. Seokjin smacks him on the head. “Fine. See what I do to your Kumamons.” Yoongi’s eyes widen for a second before they narrow.

 

“You wouldn’t dare.”

 

The deep, rich voice of Namjoon’s laughter who is leaning against the wall near their shoe rack surprises them.

 

“Welcome back, hyung” is all Namjoon says before he turns around and leaves the eldest members of BTS alone.

 

“He was worried a lot about you.” Hoseok says still holding the other rapper in a bruising grip.

 

“Sejin hyung will be coming in some time so, be prepared.” Seokjin informs him kindly. Yoongi nods his head, aware his actions cannot go un-reprimanded. The oldest idol pats him on the shoulder and then, goes back inside. He and Hoseok are still standing like that.

 

“Did you have breakfast? Do you want me to make you something?” They hear Seokjin shout from somewhere probably near the kitchen.

 

“He is obsessed. I can’t emphasise that enough.” Hoseok quips and shakes his head in wonder.

 

“I heard that!” Seokjin shouts again.

 

Yoongi barks a laugh. “Let’s not keep standing here.” He changes his shoes for his dorm slippers and they both go inside to the confines of their dorm. Their home away from home. Yoongi hears a rustling noise, a loud thud, a smash and a harried Namjoon coming out from the next room with a broomstick in his hand. Hoseok has already disappeared into his room.

 

“What was it?” He decides to cut some slack for the poor boy. The boy with too sharp a brain for his tremendously uncoordinated body.

 

“Ugh.. bulb?”

 

“Bulb?” Yoongi frowns and goes to inspect what Namjoon was talking about. He looks at the broken piece and the tumbled boxes and groans. “Namjoon”, he begins with exasperation, “That was the new bulb! To replace the broken one in the bathroom.”

 

 

*

 

 

He meets Jimin and Jungkook later in the evening who have returned from being the special MCs on a show. Jimin hugs him and cries a little bit and makes him promise to never leave them like that again. Jungkook gives him only a hug and a faltering smile and is then gone. Later though, it is when he is alone in the studio that Jungkook comes to talk to him. He would prefer not being disturbed but, he knows they all kind of need to talk. Possibly.

 

Do they?

 

There is no extra chair in his studio (a precaution he has taken to not encourage anybody) so, Jungkook has to stand. Jungkook is reclining against the black rack while Yoongi sits in his chair, his headphone pulled down.

 

“What happened, Gkuki?”

 

The maknae looks nervous as he asks, “Hyung, you okay?” It’s funny because it’s usually Jimin who asks him that question - Jimin who is feeling guilty he knows if the way he avoided both Taehyung and Yoongi during dinner was any indication.

 

“What will happen to me?”

 

“I know, this must be taking a toll on you too..” He says slowly, like he is a little unsure of his words.

 

Yoongi snorts. “Why is everyone worried about me? Even that guy.. He is concerned about me.” He scoffs, unable to help himself. “Me.”

 

“He.. Taehyungie hyung.. he respects the senior members a lot but, he respects you the most.” Jungkook then sighs. “And, loves you too.” Yoongi can’t tell if there is a forlorn-ness in the younger’s voice. “Hobi hyung is angry, you know.”

 

“I deserve it.”

 

“Not with you.” Yoongi raises an eyebrow. “He says we have failed Tae hyung as group members. As his friends. He thinks he has failed as his hyung.”

 

Yoongi looks at the bright LED screen in front of him. “I have. I know.”

 

“Jimin hyung is blaming himself too. He is Taetae hyung’s best friend and he had no ink link whatsoever and, also because he told you.”

 

Yoongi knows but, he still can’t stop from asking it aloud, “How is this Jimin's fault? Had he not said who knows for how long they would have not told us.”

 

But, the maknae instead asks, “Tell me hyung, you don't like him at all?”

 

“What kind of - no.”

 

“Okay. Just checking. That answers it then. If you don't return his feelings he can do whatever he wants..” ( Yoongi grumbles ‘why is everyone repeating the same lines to me’) “Why he chose to keep it away from you is obvious, isn't it? I would have done the same too had I been in his place. Seokjin hyung said Namjoon hyung wanted to say it. To you. Tae hyung told him not to.”

 

An uncomfortable silence settles in the room.

 

“Can I tell you something else though? Because, I think you should know this..” Jungkook’s voice sounds strained and Yoongi motions him to continue. “I think, he .. he himself does not know..” Jungkook trails off. When the singer doesn’t continue, the rapper turns around.

 

“He doesn’t know what?”

 

“I- I have barely seen him sleep anymore. Have you? He is always up. He hides it so well, it's difficult to tell. Watch him, hyung. He is always the last one to go to sleep. He is always awake at any hour of the day. Hobi hyung said he has seen Tae hyung leave in the middle of the night. One time I followed him to see for myself. To see what it is that he does that he has to leave in the night instead of having a good night’s sleep. He was sitting on the terrace, hyung. He was simply sitting. He has done that now many times now and it’s just not sleep. It’s.. it’s scary. I am worried for him.”

 

Yoongi’s brows furrow in confusion. “What are you trying to say?”

 

“I don't know how the surgery works, hyung but, isn't it too scientific for something like emotions? Say the surgery did remove the.. Ugh, the flower thing from his lungs but, how can it take his feelings away from him?” Feeling Yoongi’s confused stare, he tacks on, “Just notice him. You'll know what I mean."

 

"..."

 

Then, Jungkook smiles and asks, “Remember that time we were betting who was secretly dating because of those petals we sometimes found in their rooms?” Changing topic. Figures.

 

“Oh. Yea..”

 

“It was Tae hyung all along.” Jungkook’s smile is a bitter one, he feels. Yoongi hums, noncommittally. “I won the bet after all.” Jungkook continues looking slightly smug.

 

“How so?” Yoongi his head in genuine confusion.

 

“Well.. You were insistent that it couldn't be Tae hyung but, it was him all long.”

 

Yoongi glares at the younger boy. “This does not count.” Yoongi says gritting his teeth. He recalls seeing stray yellow daffodil petals in the nooks of the dorm. They had been betting who had an admirer/lover/partner/ was at least, secretly dating.

 

“You knew he loved you, didn't you? That's why you were so adamant about not betting on him..” Jungkook’s voice trails off for the second time and Yoongi feels the need to clarify.

 

“I knew he liked me. Not..” Even Yoongi doesn’t know how to complete that sentence.

 

“You know I like you, right?” Jungkook’s voice takes on a lighter tone and Yoongi, instantly, is wary. “You know I respect you a lot. You know that, right?” Yoongi only grunts in reply, unsure of what the maknae is hinting at. He is smiling, that crooked smile he gets on his face before he starts cursing at unsuspecting people. “Because I would have killed you otherwise.”

 

Yoongi’s eyes widen for a split second in surprise, not having expected it and flinches from the resounding slam of his studio’s door behind Jungkook’s departure.

 

It is not wholly unexpected given the boy’s closeness to Taehyung and his crazy protective nature. Yoongi guesses he would do the same for Hoseok so he doesn’t let the younger one’s blatant disrespect ruffle his feathers.

 

It only makes his heart sink deeper. Further.

 

***

 

The second half of the year begins with controversies for BTS yet again. They have to officially apologise for an ARMY deleting the SNS account with the biggest fanbase of another group. Questions regarding misogynistic lyrics in their songs also requires them to apologise. Honestly, they knew what they were writing. In some cases, the portrayal of the objective might have become a little blurred and hence, the confusion. Yoongi is tired of constantly seeing Namjoon or, Bang Shinhyuk apologise. He is tired of people, their own fans quickly jumping to conclusions and hating on them. Not to mention the lewd and ual comments that fans - both regional and international alike - post on their official accounts. Especially, the ones regarding the maknae line. Yoongi personally doesn’t approve of it and all of these things give him a severe headache. He is happy though most of them are distracted with their respective schedules. He and Hoseok don’t have much to do beyond their BTS schedules and that is that. Yoongi busies himself with an aim to finish editing his first mixtape. They have plans to release it the next year, sometime in August under ‘Agust D’ alias. They continue with some of the concerts where Taehyung only participates for performance. He doesn’t, however, sing live instead lip syncing his portions.

 

October rolls in and every one wants to surprise Jimin with their gifts because Jimin is close to everybody - a trait he deeply admires, cherishes and is jealous of. Because he knows Jimin is a man with a pure heart and soul and Yoongi wonders how much he owes the dancer. Jimin is also not very subtle about his birthday expectations and it only makes the elder roll his eyes at him. At the end, they are not able to decide what they should gift him and end up buying jackets, coats and other such assortments. They get him a large cake, a party where all his friends are invited. They also get him the permission to go home for two days and it reduces the dancer to tears and he hugs everyone repeatedly, drunk on equal parts of happiness and liquor. They also hold the customary fan meeting and everyone is always as happy and surprised with ARMY’s love as ever.

 

October turns November, November moves onto December and the days get chillier. Colder. They celebrate Jin’s birthday giving him aprons as a joke (which he appreciates). Yoongi buys him a basket full of different fruits he likes. Namjoon buys him a book on continental recipes (which he loves). Taehyung buys a pink dress for his pet and Seokjin is ecstatic. Hoseok, Jimin and Jungkook buy him flowers, cake and a limited edition of Mario plushie. Seokjin laughs looking at their gifts but, accepts them all with sincerity. Instead of going out, they have a feast in the dorm where their manager hyungs and Bang PD is also invited. Seokjin is the chef. Taehyung his sous chef and they have a mini-banquet of sorts. The boys are always happy to eat any meal prepared by Seokjin and go to sleep that night with a full stomach. They are all excited because it’s December and time for Christmas (which they are hoping to spend with their family). Yoongi is also looking forward to meeting Holly again - the new addition to his family; a cute brown pup he has fallen in love with.

 

But, it’s also not all happy and good memories because Yoongi sees the way Jimin darts his eyes away if Taehyung is also present in the room. He sees the way Jimin’s face falls when Taehyung turns up with no separate gift for him or, when the Daegu singer stiffens when Jimin hugs him off camera. Yoongi knows Taehyung spends even more time with Hoseok or, Namjoon now. He prefers sitting in a room with Yoongi rather than be alone with Jimin and it infuriates Yoongi. He also feels Jungkook’s eyes on them, watching them but, none of them know what to say, how to broach the subject and they let the chasms developing in the relationship of the two best friends grow bigger. They hope time will heal all that unsaid words cannot.

 

Besides, Taehyung is hardly around. At first, it was because of the training he has to go through before his drama’s shoot begins. After that, it’s the shooting days which are paused because of their concerts and other schedules. They fly over to Manila for Show Champion 200 episodes. They attend other music shows and reality shows. Taehyung flies in and out of country, to join them on their group schedules and then, fly out because of his private schedule. They meet sometime around Chuseok for Idol Championship and Pyeongchang Winter Olympics. They record Chuseok greetings together and then, he is gone again. He could also be in the country sometimes but not in Seoul and the dorm is left silent in his absence. Jungkook isn’t loud at all without Taehyung even though he has Jimin these days. Hoseok is preoccupied with his plans for a dance school he will be taking classes at, with some of his friends, in Queensland. It is not an official thing and Hoseok wants to keep it that way. Like he says Yoongi, “I want people who are genuinely interested to attend the classes and not because.. some may be BTS fan or, anything like that.” Though, honestly, he knows that it is because they don’t want to officially declare anything and not have people turn up. It’ll hurt Hobi more than anything else. Yoongi wishes he knew how to make his friend feel better about it.

 

By the time December winter sets in and it’s a week away from Christmas, the dorm is quiet and dull. Without Taehyung around, Jimin is not his usual cheerful self. Without Taehyung around him, Jungkook goes back to his reclusive self. Without Taehyung, Hoseok is not able to keep up with the need to laughs and jokes. Seokjin is always troubled with everyone’s brooding self. At a loss, Yoongi often tries to liven up situations; his attempts painfully obvious and awkward. They are grateful to him though. He and Jimin will often sit on the terrace, talk about nothing in particular till it inevitably comes back to what they are trying to avoid - at least, Jimin definitely is (a sight odd in itself; Jimin loves ‘talks’ and clearing things out) - and Jimin, immediately, hightails out of there. The uniqueness of the situation always confounds the rapper and he is left at a loss for words. Namjoon seems quite unaffected, however, probably, given his rising closeness to the Daegu singer and they don’t bother bringing up the subject in front of him either.

 

Everyone can feel the loss and the distancing and the widening gap in their relationship with Taehyung. Yoongi, who never had a particularly close relationship with the singer experiences the effect through others and is left with a bitter taste in his mouth.

 

Taehyung is always gone. If he is not with them recording, if he is not out for the drama and other schedules, he is out with his Idol friends and who knows who else. When he returns, he is dead tired, falling on his feet and crashes out mostly on the couch in the living room on most nights. He is gone by afternoon. Yoongi knows this despite waking up in the evening is because he returns from the studio early in the morning only to find Taehyung in the outdoor clothes, his phone pressed between his chest and the couch, his one shoe dangling of his foot, mouth wide open. His neck will be bent at an odd angle which will give him a severe ache if left long like that. Yoongi will make sure to remove the shoes and socks from his feet. He will turn the singer over till he is lying comfortably on his back. He will borrow a blanket from Seokjin’s bunk and drapes it over the taller boy, making sure his hands and legs both are tucked in. He will pull the phone out from under him and put it on the rack closest to the couch. He does that every night when he comes back from the studio to find him passed out in exhaustion on the couch.

 

Just like everything else, it goes unmentioned and unquestioned.

 

Except for one day. It’s a day in the last week of the year and it’s only Yoongi in the dorm. Others have gone back home for a day. It’s past midnight and he has come to look for his energy recharge - his compulsory dose of coffee. He finds Taehyung in the now-familiar fashion. He frowns at the other’s presence. Taehyung isn’t expected to be around till New Year’s Eve and here he is lying on the couch, dead to the world. Yoongi makes a beeline for Seokjin’s blanket and brings it back to the living room with him - the action having become more of a reflex now. As he bends down to cover Taehyung with the warm blanket, he notices the lines on the singer’s face. Lines that shouldn’t be there for someone so young. Lines of tiredness. Worry. Tension. He is patting the blanket down, pressing out the creases when a cold hand shoots out and grips him around his elbow. He yelps in shock and stumbles back.

 

“I knew it was you.”

 

The voice is deep and hoarse. “Why don’t you bring my blanket though? Instead of stealing Jin hyung’s every time.” Yoongi’s cheeks redden in embarrassment on having being caught.

 

Wait a minute.

 

“I am stealing nothing.”, he grumbles.

 

Taehyung sits up slowly, the blanket sliding off his shoulders. Even the collar of his loose shirt is sliding off. His hair is sticking out in all directions and it looks comical. “If you aren’t stealing, then,” the tug is sudden, unexpected and it propels Yoongi towards the younger boy, “why are you so.. embarrassed?” Yoongi’s one knee is in Taehyung’s lap and the other hitting the couch edge. Taehyung’s face is all up in his space or, it is may be the other way round. Taehyung’s eyes are big but, his eyes are wider, still surprised and they both are unmoving. He can feel and hear the singer’s harsh breaths. His left hand’s fingers curl around where they are gripping Taehyung’s shoulder and the right is limp, squashed between their chests. The obvious silence and awareness of the absence of fellow members begins to grow till the only sound Yoongi can hear is his own heart, thumping in it’s cage, his palms sweating and what the is this happening.

 

Taehyung pulls him closer - as if there isn’t already so less space between them - a hand on his hips and Yoongi’s face is on flame. He is sitting directly on Taehyung’s crotch now and he is blushing to his roots. He hopes the other cannot make it out in the darkness (there’s the dim light from the kitchen which could play the villain) and Yoongi squirms. He tries to get up but, he slips. The knee which was bumping on the edge digs into Taehyung’s thigh as he gets up and bumps his head on Taehyung’s forehead. Taehyung moves and suddenly, both his hands are around Yoongi’s waist, supporting him. His legs are lying limp on each side of the singer and Yoongi pointedly doesn’t meet the other eyes, forcing himself to keep his eyes on the taller boy’s nose. He gets distracted by the long sharp nose, the pink lips, the way they are parting for breath, the cold hands on his waist. Taehyung is still cold and it is giving him goosebumps. He chances a glance and the way the younger boy’s eyelids are half drooped, the way his hands are firm and just there around his waist, he knows the singer is not fully conscious and he is, perhaps, just unconsciously, seeking out for heat and body warmth and Yoongi is the only one around to provide him that but  . His brain is short circuiting. Taehyung wiggles a lit bit on the couch such that Yoongi is perfectly sitting on him, his legs wrapped around Taehyung as the singer encircles himself with the thin, pale legs. Taehyung looks up at him and just looks at him and he is not ing saying anything. From this close, he can almost hear the other’s heartbeat, feel his breath on the rapper’s face, the coldness radiating from his skin (making him shiver) and Yoongi should leave but he doesn’t and he doesn’t know why. His brain has stopped functioning an-

 

“Nnnngg”

 

Yoongi makes a strangled noise, his lips suddenly captured in a kiss, trapped in Taehyung’s arms. Before he registers, he is starting to kiss back and then, Taehyung is tugging at his lower lip and is it and he gasps. It’s all too much all of a sudden, springing on him out of nowhere and Yoongi gurgles, his grip on Taehyung’s shoulder tightening as he pushes himself into Taehyung, leaving no space for air between them, their torsos pressed flushed against each other. Taehyung feels like a lifeline to his drowning body and he is struggling to hold on to him and Taehyung’s hand splay on his back, one digging into his skin and the other just lying against it. Yoongi shivers and gasps, coming back for air and then, they are chasing each other’s lips as the other draws back. Yoongi can feel Taehyung’s one hand slipping down to the curve of his and -

 

Jimin’s recorded voice pierces through their gasps and the cold hands are immediately gone from his back. Yoongi lands hard on his ; his phone falling out of the pocket.

 

Taehyung offers no apology.

 

He doesn’t even look at him.

 

Only the slam of a door shutting in another room is heard.

 

Yoongi pulls the phone and slides his thumb on the screen and barks out a “what?” Jimin cackles on the other side.

 

“Liked the ringtone? It’s so that you don’t ignore me and don’t forget the meds, okay, hyung? Take them before you leave.”

 

“Yea.” Yoongi rasps, still out of air. His heart is going badump!badump! in his ears. Still trying to process any thought. Any kind of thought. His mind is just.. drawing a blank.

 

“Hyung, are you, okay?”

 

“Yea.” He says. “Yea, am fine. Later Jimin.” He disconnects the call without waiting for a reply and just stares in the direction Taehyung left.

 

Did they.. ?

 

Just.. ?

 

What.. ?

 

How can he..?

 

But, Taehyung …

 

He traces his steps automatically to the kitchen and prepares the bitter-est possible coffee that he can. Half way through the process, he chucks the process and heads to the bathroom.

 

*

 

When he wakes up in the morning, Sejin is waiting in the living room. “So, when do you plan on leaving?”

 

“I..” His mind is still clogged. It explains why he is up at ten frigging am on a holiday. “Taehyung.. He.. ?” He doesn’t know what to add after Taehyung. He is still in shock. He was barely able to sleep in the night.

 

“Taehyung just left with Jonghyuck. He’ll be staying back. For promotions.”

 

“Again? Didn’t they finish it?”

 

“Apparently, not. The show is receiving higher viewer rates, so..” Their manager shrugs. “So, what time you are leaving?”

 

“As soon as I can.” Sejin only quirks an eyebrow but says no more.

 

Yoongi needs a place of change. He needs time to think. To process.

 

To forget. Whateve