Yuri POV

“Yuri, wake up.” Sooyoung says, whispering into my ear.
 

I clear my throat as I’m struggling to pry my heavy eyes.
 

“We’re just landed on Incheon, Yul, finally!” Sunny exclaims with excitement and practically punches my left arm.
 

As we wait for the stewardess to open the plane door, Sooyoung and Sunny alternately pulls down our carry-on bags from the overhead locker. Taeyeon and the rest of the girls join them from across the aisle. When the airline staffs have given a sign that the evacuation is ready, I trudge behind the girls, following their taunts about how slow I am the entire way to baggage claim.
 

We head outside to the parking area, where our van has already been waiting to pick us up and immediately hop on. As my eyes are adjusting to the internal surrounding of the vehicle, I can’t get this nagging feeling out of my head to realize that there’s no physical sign of Jessica anywhere.
 

My heart pound heavily in my ears as I keep peeking back and forth at the passenger’s door a few times, gazing out onto the airport’s arrival gate just in case Jessica is going to come out from the exit door.
 

Nothing.
 

“She’s left yesterday.”
 

I tear my gaze away and look at Taeyeon, who’s just caught me staring at the van’s door.
 

“Uhh…ohhh…”I mumble incoherently, trying to search for the right words to say. “Uhmm..she didn’t say anything….to me. I mean…about her leaving…” A sense of guilt suddenly comes over me as I recall my sudden outburst towards her few days ago. Did I cross my line, again? I can feel my heart slowly sinks into the bottom pit of my stomach.
 

“Is she…Uhmm…going to join us later for…you know…our tour celebration party?”I ask with a little fear in my voice, hoping to receive a positive answer.
 

Yet it’s rather a devastating answer.
 

“Honestly, I don’t know, Yul. There’s no guarantee she’ll show up.”
 

“O-okay..” I bit my lip as I hold my head down low, feeling disappointed.
 

I don’t know if my disappointment is due to the fact I’m on my own again or there’ll be zero chance I’m going to ever see her again. I try to act normal and continuously despise that horrendous feeling, but it unfortunately keeps coming back and bothers me. She didn’t even say goodbye, which was actually fair enough for her. But, not for me.
 

And there’s no way I can see her again, if her contract is not extended by SM.
 

Despite us had established a routine of silent communication with sticky notes, which started off impersonal and slowly turned into intimately impersonal, we’ve actually carried on our entire conversation into a different level. People say body language speaks louder than words. Jessica, is the type of person who speaks better with her body language than words, where as, I’m completely the opposite. I know she avoided me, but still, I’ve never expected we could actually carry on an entire conversation without ever uttering a word. Yes, it’s true that I was raging and mad at the first place. But, strangely, I don’t even mind now. I don’t even mind with her using ‘sticky note’ as our sole communication. No, I’m actually longing to ever receive it again.
 

But, there’s no way I can be annoyed with her sticky notes, if she’s no longer with us.
 

Ultimately, there’s no way I can see her again, as I don’t know what Jessica’s phone number is, nor where she lives.
 

As the sun is setting outside the van’s window and steadily drown itself out in the ocean, I couldn’t help but to feel bittersweet. Sunset is supposed to be beautiful, with bursts of gold on lavender melting into saffron and gives a warm feeling, brings with it thoughts of time passing by. A colorful sunset and the irony of life; It’s the color of goodbye.

Yuri POV

I text Hyukjun to let him know that we’re on our way to Myeongdong. The company has booked a barbecue restaurant for the whole night so we can have plenty of time to eat, drink and celebrate. I take a minute of silence during our texting, contemplating to ask him about Jessica’s situation. It’s too bad I’m not brave enough to ask that question and probably never will be.

By the time we arrived in the venue, the host quickly ushers us into the VIP room and politely guides us to our seating table. Not long after, three waiters come and serve plates of stack marinated beef and raw scotch steak to our dining table. I might sound crazy but somehow, the unripe meats surprisingly look appealing to me and escalates my appetite. Maybe Sooyoung will be surprised if she finds out about my unusual insatiable hunger.

A string of acoustic guitar sound suddenly breaks the deafening silence. I turn around and notice three guys are taking the small stage, ready to kick off the performance. The singer, who is adjusting the microphone down, greets and welcomes us with a huge smile.

“First of all, congratulations to SNSD, queens of kpop, for another tour success! Tonight is about celebration and we’ll like to dedicate this show only for our queens! Enjoy...”

The songs are running together, but soon the haze lifts a little, and the cacophony turns into words, guitars and keyboards. I let it fills me. But, I don’t put my attention to the stage as I’m too focused on the food in front of me and a bottle of Soju that I’m currently drowning in. It turns out the bottle of Soju is becoming a fantastic distraction as I don’t feel like eating anymore. I can’t lie. It should be a huge celebration filled with happiness, but what I am feeling right now is numbness and disappointment. Crushed, to be exact.

I couldn’t help but have to admit that my disappointment is partially because of Jessica’s disappearance. The other reason, see