I woke up before my alarm went off. Today is 30th March 2016, 06:00 a.m.

I’m the type of person who got up early, that’s what I got from joining that army reality show. Krystal was still sleeping, she was not hugging me but our hands were intertwined. When I looked at her, I felt a pang in my chest again. Learning every details of her sleeping face, she sure was a pure and beautiful girl. This girl, the girl to whom I am willing to give anything,  everything, I’m willing to fold the world and put it in her hands. Sadly, she just looked at me as a friend, not only that, she also belonged to someone else. She told me that she loved her boyfriend so much, but at the same time she also told me that her heart beat fast just for me. I was confused, really confused. Why was she acting like this, I thought my head was going to explode soon if I were to keep thinking about it.

Slowly, I let go of our intertwined hands, got off from the bed, went to the bathroom and washed my face. I took my hoodie from the bedroom, put on my shoes and went out from my unit.

It’s my habit in the morning to jog around my neighborhood. Today I took a different route than usual, gotta jog further. Everything that happened yesterday turned me into someone else, I got confused and confessed to her everything and I also had the courage to kiss her. Am I that deeply in love with her or was I just feeling lonely? ARGH!!!!

This is, now! I knew... falling in love will make you lose your self. No, it’s nothing to do with falling in love. Heartbreak was the one making you lose your self.

I was angry, because i knew her boyfriend was not good enough for her. No! It’s not that I thought I was better than her boyfriend.

But the bastard, like how people addressed him, was enough for her. The loyal, smart and talented Amber J. Liu was not enough, that made even angrier, because I was not good enough for her.

I could make her happy.

I could take a care for her.

I could give her everything.

I could love her until my last breath.

Could I? Would she really be happy with me?

It’s not her fault that you fell in love with her, why did she have to take the responsibility to love you back?

 Oh my God!!!

Again, as I recalled the kiss that we shared last night, I made a run. Now, I wasn’t jogging anymore I was running as fast as I could. I needed to get tired, hoping to ignore the pain in my heart.

I was already exhausted from my run, so I went back to my unit. I thought I was successful in pulling myself together. When I entered my unit Krystal  was already in her jeans, sitting on my couch. I gave her a small smile

“Good morning.” I greeted her.

“Morning! Why didn’t you wake me up?”

“You looked so peaceful in your sleep. I didn’t have the heart to wake you up.”

I was walking to the kitchen, went to my refrigerator and grabbed a bottle of mineral water.

“Whatever. Where have you been?” she was shouting a little.

“Went for a jog” she was so bossy, oh my God.

With the bottle of water in my hand, I walked to the living room. Sitting a little far from her seat.

“Who are you trying to impress with your body? You jog in the morning, go to gym in afternoon. Working out too much? Huh?”

“No one, silly! Why do I have to impress someone with my body? God, that sounded so naughty.”I answered her question, closing my eyes and leaned back on the couch. My breath was still irregular.  

“If you say so.”

“Hmmmm. Why are you being so moody in the morning, Krys?”

“I’m not. And just so you know, I’m going out for breakfast. He is on the way to pick me up.”

“Oh.” My eyes snapped open.

“I will be back before ten, so I can drag you to practice.” What’s on her mind, really. God!!

“No. You dont have to!” I was trying so hard to calm down.

“No, I insist.”

“You don’t have to come back here, I have an appointment at SM at nine. So let’s meet at the practice room” I said, hoping to succesfully convince her. Thought it sounded so plain.

“You are not trying to run away again, are you?”

I failed to catch her next sentence.

Wow. She was so casual after the hug, the kiss we shared, the confession I made. Wow!

She seriously wanted to be just friends with me. Alright then, I would give you the friendship you wanted, Krys.

Do friends share passionate kisses? Do friends do what we do?

“Amber!”

She was already in front of me, making me jolted out of my deep thought, I just blinked several times while looking at her.

“You know what?! Forget it, about you going to SM yourself. I can’t trust you. I will be back in an hour, so I can go with you to your appointment and I can make sure that you are coming to practice.”

“Uhmm.... whatever.”

Her phone was ringing, I knew that was her boyfriend.

Pffftttt. This was not healty.

She bent down and gave me a peck on my cheek.

“You better still be here when I come back!” With that she walked to the door and went out, I didn’t get to answer her statement.

What was that?!

What should I do?

Why did she give me a peck?

Her boyfriend was outside waiting for her.

Friends do that, bro!

No!!! Whatever, maybe friends do that but absol