Rosie kept her eyes at Momo long enough to know there was something bothering her. “Is something going on?”

Lunch was too quiet. The restaurant wasn’t, but it seemed only their table was the only one not making any sound. Momo was glued on her food. She held her chopstick to the plate but left her beef the way there were served.  She hadn’t said anything since getting her order and Rosie had enough of the silence.

“Momo—”

The sound of her first name uttered by her girlfriend made her look up from her plate.

“—Are you sick?”

“No,” she shook her said before answering weakly. “I’m fine.”

“No, you’re not.”

“I guess it was just the alcohol from last night.” It was the only lame excuse she had with her that afternoon. Rosie wouldn’t buy it either.

“You barely had anything at the party.”

Momo was right. “Yeah, I don’t know. I’m just not feeling it today.”

That day, all she had in her mind was the words Mina threw at her when she met her earlier. It was stuck in her head, playing over and over until she got into the elevator, until she got out of her car, until she got back to her apartment, until she got to Rosie’s, until she got there to that restaurant. It was like a ghost haunting her, following her everywhere.

Rosie smiled, the sweetness making her choke the chopsticks tighter. “Well, maybe today isn’t just one of those happy days.”

“Yeah…” Momo’s voice faded, looking away to distract herself from that angel in front of her. She felt as though she was being punished. She knew she deserved it anyway. Each second she had been with Rosie was torture.

But even so, she breathed out so carefully not to let the cracks inside of her spill everything that took place—not only from the party, everything.

***

She skipped dance practice for the day, told the girls she wasn’t feeling well. Jungyeon clearly knew what it was about. She decided it was better to be alone. Seeing Mina nor Rosie was neither the right choice.

Momo found herself at the airport with her passport in hand. She bought a ticket to Japan on the last minute. Home was probably what she needed best at that time. She told Rosie the truth about this, at least there was a truth she was able to tell her.

People were noticing her as she walked into Incheon. She kept her head down. Fans were the least of her needs in that moment.

An hour later, Momo was finally home.

She breathed the Japanese air and it made her feel slightly better. She hailed a taxi like any other person coming out of the airport, still there were a few that suspected a celebrity but she paid no mind. She got inside the cab and took off her hat, which made the driver look up to his rearview mirror, surprised.

“Wow,” he exclaimed.

“Shh,” Momo whispered. “This will be our little secret.”

The man laughed and drove. “Okay, Miss Hirai.”

It had been a year since she visited home. Home had been different since she came out to her parents. It was a surprise to her how her parents weren’t so cool about it. She thought they would be. She hadn’t spoken much to them either, just the basic how-are-yous. She didn’t want to bring up the topic, the pain she dealt with Mina during the time was wounding enough. During those days, it was her older sister that became her only family.

She leaned her head on the window, watching all th