All she told her father was that she wanted to get married again, and that she wanted to go and live with her new husband. She figured that she shouldn’t tell him that this new husband was actually the King of Solen, and that she was going back to overthrow the false King and stop said King from allying with Galacia and conquering land.

Her father told her that she could do whatever she wanted, and that he had no control over her anymore; she was no longer his daughter after all. Still, he wished her well, and he gave her money to get her started on her new marriage. She used that money to buy a ride back to Solen for both her and Soonyoung.

And so, disguised as lowly townspeople in ragged clothing and unkempt hair, Yewon and Soonyoung slipped away on the next ship to Solen.

-

Ships had always been places of bad memories for her.

The first time she ever rode one was when she headed for Solen to marry Seungcheol. She remembered how she had dreaded that marriage with every inch of her soul, as it involved saying goodbye to her home and making a home in a country she had been brainwashed to hate.

The second time she was on a ship, it was to go back to Galacia so she could be exchanged with hostage Seungcheol. She remembered finding out she was not pregnant on that ship after her affair with Soonyoung, and how much that had distraught her; it meant that the affair was all for nothing.

The third time, she was with Wonwoo in the storage cabin, and it was definitely one of the worst experiences of her life.

The fourth time, it was returning to Galacia after being widowed and heartbroken.

Every voyage on that ship between Solen and Galacia was a time of torment and agony, and so when she was on that ship once again, she was overcome with anxiety and heartache as all those memories came crashing down on her again.

She thought she would be depressed the entire way there, but as it turned out, that was not the case at all. In fact, of all voyages on which she ever had the displeasure of going, this was by far the most comfortable. That was all thanks to the person who travelled with her.

Soonyoung was very different from the man that was exiled from Solen. Not only was his addiction to women gone, but he was more spirited, more knowledgeable, and more determined than ever before. Yewon only began to catch on to that as she spent and more time with him on the journey.

He told her a lot of things– stories of what happened to him while on his journey of self-discovery, anecdotes that the old sage had relayed to him, and some of his musings on life in general that she had always found surprisingly wise.

“Do you think I’ll make a good King?” he asked her once as they sat on the deck of the ship and gazed at the moon.

“I think so,” she answered. “You’re a very good person, Soonyoung.”

“What if I slip back into old habits when I’m King? There’s an entire beautiful harem waiting for me over there!”

Yewon frowned at him.

“What?” he asked when he saw her expression

“Did you already forget that you’re marrying me?”

“Do you expect loyalty?” Soonyoung replied in bemusement.

“I do,” Yewon declared. She knew that he was not committed to her or anything, and she didn’t expect him to be, but she still expected that he would respect her dignity enough not to sleep around.

Soonyoung nodded to her briefly, as if promising her. “You have my loyalty, Yewon.”

It was then that she recalled something important, something that had somehow slipped her mind and had very much to do with what they were talking about.

“I take it back,” she told him shortly after, eyes fixated on the fingers in her lap. “I don’t expect loyalty. You need an heir, and I can’t give it to you.” Her words were soft and filled with the regret for what could have been if only she were able to bear. Her infertility was a curse she could never get over, no matter how much time passed. Whenever she remembered it, she would imagine a future when she would grow old without a family, and that made her feel doomed to loneliness for the rest of her life.

“Yewon…” he called her softly, beckoning her to lift her head and look at him, but she couldn’t. She just stared at her lap and hoped that the itch she was starting to feel in her nose would subside. She didn’t want to cry.

Suddenly, Soonyoung’s hand came into her line of vision, and he took her hand in his, squeezing it reassuringly.

That made Yewon lift her head and look at him.

“You will be a mother, Yewon. The mother of an entire country,” he told her, as if he knew exactly what was going through her mind. His words were strangely comforting.

“And if you’re worried about heirs, then don’t be. I’ll tell you a secret that probably won’t surprise you, but I have at least nine sons already!” Soonyoung confessed. “Maybe ten, depending on whether that blonde lady ended up with a boy or a girl,” he added flippantly.

Yewon couldn’t help but laugh. The confession didn’t surprise her at all.

“They are all considered royal bastard children and are under the care of the harem women,” he explained. “And I never really told anyone about them, because I’m a little ashamed. I’m telling you now so you know I have no excuse to be unfaithful.”

Yewon nodded, pleased with his honesty.

“Also, many of the children’s mothers abandoned them. Maybe… you can be their mother. But only if you want to, of course,” he offered.

“I would love to,” she said earnestly, as her despair was suddenly replaced with newfound hope that maybe she will be a mother after all.

Soonyoung smiled at her fondly, and held her hand tighter. He began to tell Yewon about what he remembered about his children, and Yewon listened with intent, thinking that maybe those children would become an important part of her life in the near future.

-

After nearly ten days at sea, Solen was finally in sight, and the captain had announced they would arrive in a couple of hours. Solen’s summer sun was shining with full intensity, and even the shore’s winds couldn’t dull the heat.

Yewn stood at the front deck, gazing out at the country she had left behind not too long ago.

“How are you feeling?” came Soonyoung’s voice from behind her, startling her.

She didn’t really know how she was feeling. The past two weeks on board had passed by almost too quickly. They were quiet and uneventful, but now, she had arrived, and suddenly she was in the middle of a large-scale power struggle.

“I still don’t know what I’m doing here, to be honest,” Yewon said out loud. She turned to him, “What are we doing here?”

“I’m not too sure either,” Soonyoung answered her. “But the first thing we’re going to do is get married. And then we’ll rally the people. And then we’ll finally confront Wonwoo.”

The plan seemed too haphazard, and Yewon found herself afraid of what was to come. What if something went wrong? What if she or Soonyoung were assassinated; if the royals and Wonwoo could kill Seungcheol in cold blood, what’s going to stop them from killing Soonyoung, who was actively trying to overthrow them?

She turned her head to look at him; he looked calm and peaceful. Almost too calm. He was so different from the Soonyoung of old who was so afraid of dying that he refused to leave the comforts of the palace. Now, he was walking headfirst into a political broil where he was going to be first target.

“Are you afraid?” Yewon asked him.

“I should be,” Soonyoung hummed, “but I have a feeling it will all be okay. And if I die, at least I did so trying. Whatever the outcome, I’ll be at peace with it.”

The prospect of his death hung in the air, making her uneasy and unable to find the right words to say in response. She just sighed and looked out to the distant Solenese port again.

Yewon figured that it was now time to tie her loosely hair back into a Solenese bun.

She pulled her hair up with a ribbon and used a pin to hold the hair in place. She ended up with a messy bun, many strands sticking out in a disorderly mess, but she was unbothered to try and fix it. It was Soonyoung who stood behind her and offered his help.

“I think you should cut your hair again,” Soonyoung said as he wrapped the loose strands around her bun.

“Do you want me to be ugly again?” she scoffed.

Soonyoung laughed: “do you really think short hair is ugly?”

“It’s what everyone tells me.”

“Wait for it. Maybe you’ll change your mind.”

She narrowed her eyes. “What do you mean?”

“You’ll see,” he told her. “Wait for it.”

-

She did not have to wait for long.

After descending from the ship onto the port, Yewon saw it almost instantly: the women and the young girls, hundreds of them, walking around with very short hair.

Last time she had come, all the women and girls wore their long hair in buns. No woman or girl ever had short hair. It had been a social taboo for women to cut their hair.

“What is this?” Yewon asked as she looked around her in amazement.

“Princess Yewon started a new trend,” Soonyoung answered her with a small smile. “Everyone wants to be like Princess Yewon. I told you; you’re like a legend here.”

Yewon began to cry. She didn’t really know why, but seeing this up close made her feel all sorts of emotions at once. She remembered the time she cut her hair back then– how ugly she felt and how she had always covered it with a shawl. And now, suddenly, the people found it beautiful. It was just overwhelming for her.

“You have a lot more power than you thought, right?” Soonyoung asked her as he watched her reaction. “You literally made what was once a long-held taboo into something beautiful.”

Yewon only nodded wiping away the tears from her eyes, suddenly feeling emboldened. She did have a lot of power, and she was determined to make a difference with it.

-

Yewon and Soonyoung got married that very day in a small temple in the town. There was no grand wedding, no large-scale banquet, no royal guests. It was just the two of them, in their rags and their hidden identities.

“I always imagined my wedding to be something really majestic,” Soonyoung told her as they were waiting for the priest seal their wedlock. “I always imagined it would be with someone I loved, and in the presence of people I loved, and while wearing nice clothes and all.” Soonyoung looked down at the dirty tatters he had been wearing for weeks now. “This is quite a sad arrangement, isn’t it?”

It was sad, but at this point, Yewon was used to sadness. So used to it, that she was not even fazed by it.

This was Yewon’s second political marriage, but this time, unlike the first, she was prepared for it and went into it with strength and confidence. Unlike the first time, she was not dazed with thoughts of love and romance. Unlike the first time, she was not worried about trivial things like or weddings or how beautiful she looked.

Unlike the first time, she was aware that this marriage meant something much greater than all of the superficial things she had valued so much.

-

Letter #19

Dear Yewon,

Wow, you’re almost at the last letter. The fact you’re reading this tells me I’ve failed as a husband, having hurt you so many times.

I just want to use this letter to say this: if you ever feel like you want to move on from me and marry someone else, please don’t hold back. I want you to be happy, and if remaining loyal to me becomes unbearable, please move on. I never deserved you anyway.

Even if you move on, I’ll still love you and still think about you constantly. I’ll regret not having done enough for you to keep you by my side forever, but at least you’re taking active measures to ensure your own happiness. That’s all that matters to me.

There’s so much more I want to write about this, but just thinking about it gives me unbearable heartache. I’ll just end the letter by saying that you will always have both my blessings and my love, whatever you decide to do.

Sincerely,
Seungcheol

A/N: almost at the end omg