A knock on the door caused Wonwoo to abruptly pull his lips away from hers, flushed and scared.

“Who is it?” he asked.

“Your highness,” said the voice of a man from the outside. “Is that Lady Haein who came in here with you?”

“No, it’s not,” Wonwoo said anxiously. “What do you want?”

“I wanted to ask what to do with Mingyu’s books. Shall I return them to the library?”

“Leave them to the side for now,” Wonwoo instructed. “I’ll look through them before I leave.”

“Yes sir. Sorry to bother you,” said the man, followed by the sound of fading footsteps.

Wonwoo turned to Yewon, he still looked dazed and confused by their kiss, but he by no means looked regretful.

“Thank you for believing me,” he told her with a sincere look in his eyes.

“I’m sorry for distrusting you,” she replied to him, looking at the floor in shame. She was sorry for doubting him, sorry for making him feel like he needed to prove himself to her.

“Don’t be sorry for that,” Wonwoo said. “It was my fault I lied to Seungcheol... I feel like I’m betraying Seungcheol in so many different ways right now.”

It was only then when she herself began to feel remorse. She was also betraying Seungcheol, but more importantly, she was betraying her family by putting her honor at stake with Wonwoo. She tried to imagine the look on her father’s face if he ever found out about her involvement with Seungcheol’s illegitimate half-brother. How furious would he be? She could almost imagine what he would say to her– about how she was defaming the honor of Galacia, how she was misrepresenting her country in the most licentious way.

“We should let you head back to your room now,” Wonwoo told her. “You shouldn’t be absent for long. If Seungcheol finds out about this meeting, he’ll exile me from the country forever and not just a month…”

“Will this be the last time I see you for a month?”

Wonwoo nodded sadly.

“But you just came back.”

“I know. It’s regrettable, and I can’t stand the thought of not seeing you for that long. My only consolation would be your letters. You’ll keep sending them through Haein for as long as I’m there, right?” he asked.

Yewon assured him that she would.

“I’m going to try and stop Seungcheol from carrying out his battle plans, by the way,” Wonwoo told her. “When he rides out to fight the Eastern province, I’ll go to where he is and I’ll try to stop him. I don’t think it will work though, but please know that I’m trying.”

She nodded. She didn’t have much faith in his ability to sway Seungcheol, for he was stubborn and unreasonable, but at least there was someone out there with the intention of knocking some sense into him.

“There’s one more thing I want you to know before I leave,” Wonwoo said, his face suddenly going grim. “Usually, princes don’t actually fight in wars and stay behind during the battles, but I have a hunch that this time, Seungcheol is planning to fight. He wants to fight because…. well, he wants to die.”

Her heart felt like it stopped beating for a moment when she heard the last word. “What?”

“Seungcheol is an emotional person,” Wonwoo told her. “And I think Jeonghan’s death set his mind off into dangerous places. I’m hoping it’s just a false impression on my part, but I genuinely do feel like he wants to commit suicide by fighting until death in the battle that Jeonghan had planned.”

The thought of Seungcheol dying made her heart feel heavy, and the prospect troubled her deeply. All the bliss she had started to feel from her encounter with Wonwoo faded away, and she was suddenly consumed with worry. Would Seungcheol really do something like that?

“What made you think this?” Yewon asked.

“After Solbin was killed, he did something like that. He went into the battlefield and fought carelessly and was almost killed many times because of it. He clearly went in there wanting to kill as many people as possible and then die himself. But his guards managed to keep him alive. And I’ve spoken to him; I know he’s at rock bottom, Yewon. He’s so lonely and wretched, and I can feel how eager he is to go out on the battlefield and die,” Wonwoo sighed deeply. “To be honest, I don’t even know why I’m telling you this. I can’t imagine what you could do for him…”

“I’m glad you told me,” Yewon replied. She was glad that she was at least aware of the possibility. She knew that Seungcheol was going through a profound period of pain, and now Wonwoo revealed to her the possible extent of that pain.

She felt almost responsible for Seungcheol now, in some twisted way. Ever since he opened up to her a little about Jeonghan, she felt like she had to be the person on whom he could rely, because he seemed to have no one else in the world. Knowing that his pain extended to the point he would let himself die to end it pressured her into trying to get through to him again.

-

The time came for her to sneak back to the main palace and back into her room.

Wonwoo took her in his arms in a deep embrace, telling her how much he would miss her. Yewon tried not to cry, but she couldn’t help it and she let herself go in his arms. She was going miss him so much.

When he pulled away from the hug and saw her cry, he was quick to wipe her cheeks with his fingers, and reassure her that the month will pass quickly. It was not much consolation to Yewon. The one week he had been gone had felt like the longest week of her time in Solen, and so one month was going to be so much worse.

He kissed her lips one last time and told her that he loved her, and then he pulled the veil over her face. He opened the door to his room and looked around, and when he saw that it was clear, he motioned her to follow him out.

They walked through the halls until they were outside the servant’s quarters. It was there that they had to finally part. Wonwoo smiled and bowed his head slightly towards her, careful not to be too obvious for the wandering eyes around them. Yewon also bowed and made her way inside.

Again, no one stopped her. The few people she passed by didn’t look at her twice. She went up the stairs into the main palace, and Haein was waiting for her a few halls away from where her room was. She had a thick black cloak in her hand, which she helped Yewon wear in order to cover the maid’s costume she was wearing so that the guards did not notice anything suspicious.

As the two of them walked wordlessly through the halls, they were only stopped once by Soonyoung. He narrowed his eyes at Yewon suspiciously, eying her strange attire.

“Why are you wearing Haein’s cloak?” he asked her.

“She was cold,” Haein answered him before Yewon could.

“I hope you washed it before making her wear it,” Soonyoung told Haein with smirk on his face. Haein turned bright red and ignored him, taking Yewon’s arm and dragging her along.

When they finally arrived in the room and the door was closed behind them, both Haein and Yewon sighed in relief. No one had else had noticed, it was a success.

“Why did Soonyoung say that?” Yewon asked her curiously as Haein helped her out of the cloak.

A look of embarrassment washed over Haein’s face. “If you must know I’ll tell you,” she answered. “But it’s quite disturbing and I would rather save face in front of you and not say it. Therefore, your highness, I would like to kindly request that you exempt me from answering your question.”

Yewon nodded; it was too sincere of a request for Yewon to deny, but it did make her awfully curious, and Haein noticed that Yewon looked over the cloak with curiosity as she tried to imagine what it was.

“It was soiled with fluids from a man’s body,” Haein revealed shamefacedly to satisfy Yewon’s curiosity. “In that disgraceful night I spent with Soonyoung.”

Yewon understood.

“I did wash it by the way,” Haein added quickly, as she went on to help Yewon out of the maid’s costume. “Thoroughly.”

-

The next time she saw Seungcheol was the following morning.

He looked the same as always: the same cold expression on his face. Yewon wished she could enter his mind and see what’s in it. Was it really as dark as Wonwoo was afraid of? Did he really want to die?

She would scrutinize him during breakfast, trying to decipher him. But his face was so blank, he was impossible to read­.

He finished his breakfast and excused himself from the table. She excused herself too and scurried after him.

When they were out of the dining room, she walked silently behind him. He stopped walking and turned to her: “why are you following me?”

“I don’t know,” she answered stupidly. He narrowed his eyes at her and continued walking. She continued following.

“Out with it, princess,” he told her slowing down his pace so that he was walking beside her. “Is this about Wonwoo?”

“No,” she replied. “I’m over that.”

“I see. You don’t believe what I told you, do you?” Seungcheol replied.

“I don’t want to talk about Wonwoo,” she said quickly. The truth was that thinking about Wonwoo now made her feel remorseful. The bliss of being with Wonwoo only lasted as long as she was with him, but being away from him brought her back down from the clouds. She had associated herself with a man other than her husband; it was disloyalty, which wasn’t a good thing no matter how she tried to look at it. She wished to avoid thinking about it in Seungcheol’s presence specifically.

“Answer me: do you believe me or not?” he asked.

She remained silent, not really knowing how to answer that question.

“Of course you don’t,” Seungcheol said with a sigh. “My word means nothing to you, does it?”

“That’s not true. And I do believe you,” she decided to lie.

“Don’t lie to me princess. I know you’re not the kind of person who would just listen to what I say without confirming it yourself. And something about how untroubled you look tells me you don’t believe me. And now you think that I’m the bad guy in all of this, right?”

“I don’t,” Yewon replied. “If I did, I wouldn’t even be talking to you right now.”

“Then why are you talking to me?” he asked her.

“You’re going to ride out for the battle, right?” she asked.

“Yes.”

“When?”

“After tomorrow.”

“Are you going to take up arms and fight?” she asked him casually, trying to conceal how anxious the prospect made her.

“Maybe,” he replied, looking at her curiously, “why are you asking?”

“Princes don’t fight in battles though.”

“Unless they want to,” Seungcheol added.

“And do you want to?”

He stopped walking and narrowed his eyes at her. “Who told you?” he asked her suddenly.

Yewon didn’t really know what he was referring to when he asked that, but she knew that the answer was probably Wonwoo. She couldn’t tell him that though.

“Told me what?”

“You know what I’m talking about.”

“No, I really don’t,” Yewon replied.

“I am planning to fight, yes,” Seungcheol replied to her question. “Does that bother you?”

“Of course it does,” Yewon answered immediately.

“Come with me,” Seungcheol told her as he picked up pace. “I will ease your concerns.”

She followed him curiously to the courts, where he produced a piece of parchment, and when Yewon read the title, she found out that it was his final will. Yewon felt her blood run cold when she saw the document. His will… He really was planning to die then.

“You won’t be left widowed and helpless,” Seungcheol explained as he pointed to a section in the document. “I have spoken to Soonyoung. In the case I die and Soonyoung is unmarried, he will take your hand in marriage, with your permission and that of your parents of course. This will mean you will still be married to the heir to the Solenese throne, and so your country will not lose the advantage. In addition to that, you will be given money and lifelong security. So you don’t have to worry about what will happen to you or your country after I die, princess. It’s even better for you if I do die.”

Yewon was taken aback by the bluntness with which he professed it, and by how he had just reduced his own life to the benefit it would bring to her. But she had not even been thinking about how his death would put her and her country in a difficult situation, and so all these provisions were of no consolation to her. It was never about what would happen to her after he died. Seungcheol seemed to have completely misidentified her concern…

“I… I don’t think you understand,” Yewon managed to respond despite her bewilderment.

“Is there anything you’re not satisfied with?” he asked, narrowing his eyes.

“Yes,” Yewon replied, “I don’t want you to die.”

“Why not? You’ll benefit greatly from my death and you…”

“What is wrong with you?!” she interrupted him in frenzy. He really didn’t seem to understand that she didn’t care about these stupid legal benefits. “I don’t want you to die,” she repeated, her voice faltering at the end of it.

Seungcheol looked confused, as if he couldn’t fathom why she could possibly not want him to die. It suddenly hit her how unimportant he viewed himself, how unaware he is of the care that people have for him. He honestly believed that she would not be sad over his death, that she would be happy because it gave her money and power.

“But why not?” Seungcheol asked her again, looking genuinely confused.

Yewon struggled to find the words in order to explain it to his deeply politics-oriented mind why she wanted him to live. He always told her that there was no passion in politics, and their interactions had almost always been on the level of politics, but what she wanted to relay to him in that moment was not politics.

“It’s worrying that I have to explain to you why I don’t want you to die. It’s worrying that you’re surprised about that,” Yewon managed to say. “Do I really have to explain it to you? Do I really have to say ‘I care about you’ for you to get it?”

For the first time ever, Seungcheol looked lost for words. She could see the glimmer of surprise in his expression, as if he never would have expected that answer from her.

Both of them did not say anything for many seconds, silently just looking at each other and waiting for the other to say something.

When Yewon could tell that Seungcheol was not going to speak, she cleared and said: “I don’t know if my request will be of any consequence to you whatsoever, but I will make the request anyway. Please don’t take up arms and fight in the battle.”

Seungcheol continued gazing at her, and Yewon wished she knew what was going on in his head. But as always, he was impossible to read, and it took many seconds for him to finally respond.

“Okay. I will honor your request, princess,” he said in the same somber tone in which he always spoke.

“Do you promise?”

“I do.”

She smiled in relief, but his gaze made her self-conscious and eager to leave his presence. “Thank you, I will leave you to your work now.” She stood and bowed to him before she left the courtroom, feeling his piercing gaze on her back.

It was easier than she thought it would be to convince him, and somehow, it felt like Seungcheol had never really planned to die. She could not have convinced him not to fight so easily if he were planning to die. Still, she could tell that although there was no drive to death, there was also no drive to avoid it. He was simply apathetic to the possibility of dying, and that was concerning. But for now, Yewon was just happy to know that this apathy would not have fatal consequences for him during the battle.

When she arrived at her room, she immediately wrote a letter to Wonwoo about what had taken place. She thought he’d be happy to hear it.

A/N: I’m currently listening to highlight don’t you all just love highlight