02/04/2021

It’s been a month since I’ve met Jihoon and the others. Our friendship deepens as time pass by. I can say, Jihoon has become a really important part of my life. In a month, our friendship experienced ups and downs. I get mad, he makes me laugh. He get mad, I’ll make him laugh. But at the end of the day, we never forget to apologize to each other. Seungcheol and Soonyoung is the most I’m comfortable with than the others. Seungcheol’s like a big brother to me and Soonyoung’s like a new type of friend, he always makes me laugh with his silly gags along with Seungkwan and Seokmin. Seungcheol and Soonyoung are the person I talk to if Jihoon’s mad at me. It was actually epic, coz Jihoon gets jealous if I’m having fun with the two. But of course, the others are also very important to me. They’ve helped me a lot. God knows how thankful I am I met them, but lately I’ve noticed they are lacking sleep. I tried asking them but they told me they were just playing video games all night. I mean, how can I believe that? They’re all playing at the same time? Especially Wonwoo? I know Wonwoo prefers reading.

7:00AM

I entered the school gate, hugging the notebook Minghao gave me. Jihoon is standing at the side, he greeted me good morning and he told me that he was waiting for half an hour. I was surprised since he didn't texted me about being early. He was so excited about something.

"I've finished writing my new song!" He is smiling happily. I looked at him, mouth opened.

"Really!?" I asked, half-shoutedly. He's able to finish it in a week. I'm so proud of him. Last week, he was so occupied and I can't even talk to him at class and while eating. He's with me but he's not talking to me. Even Seungcheol and the others can't talk to him. He's answering but we all know he doesn't understand what we're saying. He's so focused on finishing his new song. I'm so glad he finished it.

"Yes! I want you to be the first one to listen to it." He smiled at me, excitedly. My heart skipped a beat suddenly. This is not the first time, ever since we went hime from the arcade that day I've been experincing this. I wonder what it is.

"You're kidding. I bet Seungcheol or the other have heard it already." I said, not believing him.

"Trust me. Let's go." He said as he held my wrist and dragged me to the music room. 

"Wait, Jihoon! What about class?" I asked, pulling me in to the music room.

"This won't take the whole 15 minute grace period, don't worry. It's just 1 song." He chuckled as we laughed towards the music room.

"Fine. You'll explain this to the teacher. You know, I was late last time." I said. He removed his grip to my wrist and grabbed the guitar. We sat on the floor, facing each other. 

"Don't laugh at me, okay?" He said, seriously.

"I won't." He gave me a stern look. "I promise." I smiled. He smiled at me and started playing his guitar. 

"Starting early in the morning
I awkwardly mmm
Take out a pen and a paper
And write down the words I had deeply swallowed"

He sang as he continue strumming his guitar. His eyes are closed while smiling.

"My hand writing isn't pretty
Please don't be disappointed
Please let it go if I "

He stopped and looked at me, he smiled and continnue singing.

"On this letter I want to write down our story
Every little thing about you and me."

There it goes again, my heart thumping so loudly. My hands are getting sweaty, I just hope my forehead does not. This song, it's what he's feeling right now. I watched him play his guitar smoothly as he sings. Those long fingers that touched my cheeks, once. His smile that completes my day. Those eyes that disappears everytime he smile. His voice that gives shiver down my spine. I'm so glad I met you and became my friend.

"I will hold you tightly and never let go,
I will always be by your side."

He smiled at me and put his guitar down. "How was it?" He's staring at me.

"I--" I paused. "It was good." I awkwardly smiled. I can't believe myself. Why was I thinking about those things?

"Just good?" His shoulders deflated.

"N-no. I-I mean, it was really really good."

"Your words are empty." He pouted.

"Jihoon," I sighed. "You know I can't explain my feelings into words. It's hard to explain, okay? I mean, your song is so good that good is the only word that's coming out from my mouth. It doesn't mean I didn't like it, I love it actually. It's just that--" I sighed in frustration. Why can't I express my feelings at times like this?

He giggled. "Okay, I get it. Thank you."

"I'm sorry," I said. "It's just that I'm speechless right now. How can you make such beautiful song like that?" 

"Let's say, I'm inspired." He gave me a smile that can melt people's heart.

I was surprised. He's inspired, by whom? "Inspired? Aren't you always inspired by your friends?" I asked, hoping for a good answer.

"They're one but this time it's different." He smiled. "But wait, aren't my lyrics to cheesy or something? Was it good?" That's right. These past few days he's lacking sleep. Was it because of the song? or he's talking to the one he's inspired with over night? But the others are also lacking sleep. Were they helping Jihoon? J-just who?

"Y-You're asking me?" I asked as I pointed to myself.

"Well duh, you're the only one here and you're the first one I made it listen to." He laughed.

"Th-that's right. No, it's not. It's well written. Was that your feelings?" I asked. I wanna know. I'm curious. My throat's getting dry. Please say no. Please say it's not your feelings.

"Well..." he paused and rub the back of his neck. He bit his upper lip and looked away. I felt a sting on my chest. What if he says yes? What expression should I make? Why am I so nervous about this? What is wrong with me? I blinked and bit my lower lip secretly. "It is." He smiled. He gave me an awkward smile. He's shy! How can he be so shy at a time like this? While I'm this nervous and this pain in my chest won't leave me alone.

"I-I-I see." I stuttered and awkwardly laugh. My hands getting sweaty.

"Are you