Youngbae hadn’t spoken to Seungri in weeks, and it was driving him crazy. He’d refused to speak to, look at, or be with the younger man in any way, shape, or form. He hadn’t spoken to Seungri since that morning weeks ago when Youngbae had decided that “it was for the best” and had coldly pushed his concerned dongsaeng away. He hated feeling like it was his fault the group was the way it was right now- hated knowing that it was his fault. He couldn’t live in denial, as much as he wanted to. Refusing to speak to anyone about the reason for his break down had put them all at odds with him, and then seeing the way Seungri avoided his eyes and didn’t speak to Youngbae, his favorite hyung, had cemented it, had driven the wedge between he and the rest of his band mates deeper.

                Youngbae strolled past the living room, intending on heading to the kitchen for a bite to eat, but stopped in the doorway to the living room. The singer a looked on ruefully, sadly, as he watched Seungri laugh with Seunghyun-hyung about something. He wished it was he who was making the sweet young man laugh instead of the Seunghyun-hyung. Seungri looked up, a gentle laugh on his lips until he caught sight of Youngbae in the doorway. The laughter died on his lips and he looked down, mumbling something to Big Seunghyun. Seunghyun-hyung turned his head and focused his intense gaze on Youngbae, who felt shame and guilt wash over him. Youngbae wasn’t hungry anymore. He felt sick every time he thought about the look on Seungri’s face when he’d pushed the teary-eyed man away from him so many long days ago.

                It was driving him crazy. Thoughts of Seungri occupied all of his time; it was worse than it ever had been. The guilt, the regret, was eating him alive. He missed Seungri. Missed him so much it hurt- a constant, aching hurt deep in his chest.

                Seungri laughed at Seunghyun-hyung’s stupid joke even though it wasn’t funny. The smile on his face didn’t quite reach his eyes, he knew, but no one else seemed to have noticed. That was fine. That was exactly how he wanted it. No one needed to worry about him, no one needed to hear about his stupid problems. Besides, it wasn’t as though he could tell anyone the whole truth, because no one could know about his feelings for Youngbae. No one, especially not the man concerned.

                Seungri looked up at Big Seunghyun as he laughed, but froze as his gaze moved past the eldest member of BIGBANG. His false laughter stopped abruptly. Seungri couldn’t bear to look at Youngbae. The older man who had been his closest friend had alienated him, and he didn’t know why, but it hurt. He had wondered if Youngbae had realized that his dongsaeng was in love with him -had been disgusted by the idea- and that was why he wasn’t speaking to Seungri, but the younger man had dismissed the idea. Youngbae couldn’t have realized that the younger singer was in love with him even before he himself had. Seungri didn’t know why, and he wondered and worried. It hurt. Missing Youngbae hurt a lot. Seungri didn’t know how much longer he could stand not to speak with, laugh with, and look at the older man he loved so much, without even being given a reason why.

                Seungri sat with his oldest hyung a few more minutes before giving the elder Seunghyun a smile and a "see you later", and leaving for the room he shared with Daesung for a few minutes of solitude. Seungri meandered down the hall lazily, lost in thought. Thoughts of Youngbae filled his mind, unfortunately. Seungri scowled as an image of the other man’s handsome face rose unbidden in his mind. He sighed, lost in his melancholy. Seungri was quite literally jerked out of his reverie, and into the apartment’s bathroom. Seungri heard the lock click, and he turned around, irritated words on the tip of his tongue, but froze at who he saw. Youngbae-hyung. Seungri stared, motionless. After a moment of silence he mustered up his courage and asked the question that had been on his mind for weeks. “Why?” he asked, simply, emotionlessly.

                No answer was forthcoming it seemed, so Seungri tried to push his way past Youngbae and out of the cramped room. Youngbae’s arms reached out and crushed the taller man to his chest in a tight hug. Seungri struggled in the older man’s embrace. “Let me go, Youngbae-hyung,” he said, losing his cool, composed front. “Let me go,” he tried again. Youngbae only gripped him tighter, like he was afraid to let go. Seungri couldn’t hold back his emotions any longer; they’d been bottled away for weeks, and Youngbae had shaken them up. “Why?” he asked again, his voice cracking, the hurt and confusion he felt clearly expressed through one small word. “Why?” he repeated a third and last time before his tears spilled onto Youngbae’s shoulder.

                The answer was soft, hesitant, sad. “Because I love you.”

                Seungri froze. “What?” he asked, disbelieving.

                Youngbae took a breath, steeling himself, and repeated himself, “Because I love you. Because I didn’t want to mess up what you and I had. Because I was doing my best to deny my heart and stick to my faith. But I can’t do it, Seungri. I can’t deny my heart any longer. I don’t expect you to feel the same way I do- why would you? - but... I love you, Seungri.”

                Seungri inhaled a deep, hitching breath. “You’re… You’re joking, right?” he asked, still not believing what he was hearing. It was too good to be true. It was too crazy, unlikely, impossible.

                Youngbae smiled bitterly. “I almost wish I was, but I’m not. I’m serious, Seungri.”

                Seungri stayed motionless, still held in the older man’s tight embrace. He spoke softly, “I love you too, Youngbae-hyung.”

                It was Youngbae’s turn to stand stock-still, rooted to the ground. “You… love me?”

                Seungri sniffed, rubbing his teary eyes on the older man’s t-shirt. “Stupid Youngbae-hyung. If you’d only told me earlier, none of this would have happened. Of course I love you- what’s not to love?”

                Youngbae felt a slow, disbelieving smile creep across his face. “Baby, I’m sorry.”

                Seungri wrapped his arms around the older man, “I love you,” he whispered again.

                Youngbae replied exactly as Seungri wanted him to, “I love you too.”

A/N: Thank you to all of my subscribers and commenters, who make me smile. :D

         A thank you also goes to peytonjean, for making a suggestion, even if I didn't use it. Please continue to comment and let me know what you think- I appreciate it! :)

         Another one goes to my favorite person in the world right now, FishyHaeFishy! Thanks you for making me grin like an idiot, giving me ideas, correcting me, and just generally being motivation to keep updating! :D