Seungri walked down the hall with a stupidly happy smile pasted on his face. The young man was blissfully unaware that Jiyong had seen him and Youngbae together. A feeling of déjà vu washed over Seungri’s being as he was tugged out of his daze and into the apartment’s bathroom. For a moment, he thought that perhaps it was Youngbae wanting to sneak another taste of his lips, and his whole face lit up at the thought. Seungri turned around, a smile on his face until he saw who had locked him in the bathroom. The grin died instantly as he took in Jiyong’s serious, deadly calm face. He stared at the leader for a moment. This situation was so similar, and so different. All of the good parts were missing, and instead he only felt nervous. “Hi, Jiyong-hyung…” Seungri muttered hesitantly.

                Jiyong didn’t move a muscle. Didn’t blink. The older man just continued to stare at his maknae, his cold gaze making the younger man shiver.

                Seungri tried again, “Did… did you need something, Hyung?” The young man wanted to get out of the cramped room and away from his leader, whose behavior was off-putting.

                Finally, Jiyong responded. He began slowly, calmly, “Yeah, I do need something, Seungri. You and Youngbae. Your relationship. End it.” He said it casually, like it was no big deal, but his eyes sent a different message. Jiyong was serious about this; it wasn’t a suggestion, it was an order.

                Seungri was confused and angry, and a tad bit scared of his leader, which didn’t make for a good combination. “How did you… How’d you find out about us, Jiyong-hyung?”

                Jiyong was losing his cool, and he fairly hissed out an answer, “You should be careful where you choose to make-out, maknae.”

                Seungri’s eyes widened a bit and he stared for a half a minute, dumbstruck. What was one supposed to say when your leader saw you and your boyfriend kissing on the roof? The thought of Youngbae brought thoughts of his love rushing back to him, and he felt a rush of confidence wash over him. Seungri’s dark eyes were steely as he looked into his leader’s, resolve and certainty clear in his voice, “What gives you the right to control my personal life? Our personal lives? I don’t care if you are the leader, it’s still not right. Mind your own business for once, Hyung,” he said the word scathingly, as though he couldn’t believe he’d actually ever considered the man who was ordering him to get rid of the best thing that had ever happened to him, closer to him than family.

                Jiyong’s voice was just as hard as he replied, control slipping just a bit further away from him with every word, “I’ll tell you what gives me the right to tell you to end your relationship with Youngbae. You’re being selfish. You’re just a little , still only thinking about yourself. You’re going to ruin everything for everyone. Everything we worked for. Everything he worked for.”

                Seungri stared at his leader, dumbfounded by the older man’s harsh words.

                Jiyong continued, looking disgustedly at the younger man in front of him. “Imagine what would happen if anyone ever found out about this,” he ordered. “Just think of the scandal; BIGBANG would be finished. We’d all be jobless, out on the street, all because of you. Everything we worked for down the drain, and for what? For a stupid little ’s personal pleasure?”

                Seungri felt himself breaking and his resolve crumbling as he listened to the hard, clipped sentences, soaking them up like a sponge.

                “Think about your hyungs. You want us all out of a job, Seungri? Do you? What did we ever do to you to deserve to lose our dreams? And what about Youngbae? Youngbae’s worked for this since he was twelve years old. In twelve seconds you could take all of that away from him. His life would be in shambles. His friends and family would abandon him. Youngbae would be without a job, unable to live out his dreams. Like a bird whose wings you clipped. If you care for him at all, you’ll end this.” Jiyong punctuated his words with a final command, jabbing Seungri in the chest with every word, “Break. Up. With. Youngbae.” With that, the older man shot Seungri a look so full of disgust and anger it made the younger man want to crawl into a corner and die, and left the bathroom, shutting the door behind him.

                Seungri felt silent tears run down his cheeks, but he was paralyzed. His legs felt like lead and his feet as though they were glued to the ground. Everything Jiyong said was true. It was all so true. He was selfish. He was a . He was going to screw up everything they’d all worked so long for. He was going to ruin Youngbae. He felt his heart crack as he trudged to his bedroom, no longer interested in seeing anyone, least of all the man he loved. Seungri crawled under the covers, curling up in a ball and wrapping his arms around himself as though they could keep his heart from breaking in half as he thought of what he was going to do.

                Youngbae greeted his boyfriend and the sunrise with a smile, but something felt off. Seungri attempted to return it, but failed, his features stretching into a grimace. Youngbae frowned, but couldn’t say a thing in front of his band mates. Something was bothering Seungri, and Youngbae was determined to find out what it was. The five men walked to the YG Entertainment van that had come to pick them up, but instead of walking a bit behind the other three with Youngbae as he had every day since they’d confessed to each other, Seungri walked next to the elder Seunghyun and kept pace with the rest of the group. Instead of sitting next to Youngbae as was normal, he sat next to Daesung, leaving Seunghyun to sit next to his boyfriend. He didn’t ask the older man for help while they practiced dance routines, instead favoring Daesung. When Youngbae asked him if he wanted to go to lunch, he merely mumbled out that he wasn’t hungry, not even looking at his boyfriend’s face as he dashed his hopes.

                Seungri was dying inside. He wouldn’t be around Youngbae. He couldn’t. He had to distance himself, had to separate himself from his other half. It was better that way. Youngbae was better without him dragging him down. Seungri tried to convince himself that it would be alright, but every time he rejected his boyfriend the crack in his heart widened and spread. Seeing the disappointed, hurt, confused look in Youngbae’s eyes wounded him. It was painful to know that he was hurting the man he loved so much.

                The rest of the day passed in a similar fashion. Seungri refused to speak to boyfriend, wouldn’t look at him, wouldn’t tell him what was wrong. Youngbae refused to give up or give in, and persisted in his attempts to coax a smile out of his love. When Seungri caught Jiyong’s cold gaze he was reminded only of Youngbae’s warm one, of how much he loved it when that gaze was focused on him, and how Jiyong’s felt so different on his skin. He didn’t want to do it. It was killing him. But he couldn’t be selfish. Couldn’t ruin it for everyone just because he was a selfish .

                When Seungri looked him in the eye for the first time all day and asked him up to the roof, the relief Youngbae felt was almost tangible. The distance between them as they took the stairs to the uppermost level of the building was more than Youngbae would’ve liked, but he didn’t voice his thoughts aloud. The roof, beautiful and relaxed just yesterday, now seemed harsh and cold. A biting wind whipped at their bodies and a stinging chill invaded their bones.

                Seungri turned towards Youngbae, swallowing a lump in his throat. “Youngbae… We- I can’t do this anymore. I don’t want to be selfish. When I’m with you we put BIGBANG’s future on the line. I-I don’t want to ruin it, break apart our family. We can’t be together.” Seungri wanted to stop, wanted to hug the older man and tell him he didn’t mean it as he watched tears gather in the corners of Youngbae’s eyes.

               Seungri took a breath, readying himself to continue, when Youngbae interrupted. His voice was shaky, already a bit hoarse. “I don’t care, Seungri. BIGBANG’s gotten through things before; we can get through them again. I love you. I want to be selfish for once, Seungri; let me be selfish for once in my life,” Youngbae pleaded.

             Seungri bit his lip, feeling matching tears in his eyes. He couldn’t let them show. Couldn’t let Youngbae doubt him. This had to be a clean break; he had to let Youngbae go so he could move on to someone better for him. They hadn’t been together long. It’d be no time at all before the older man was over him and into someone new. “No, Youngbae. I can’t do it. I don’t want to do it.” Tremors shook Seungri’s shaky heart as he forced a horrific, hurtful lie from his mouth. “I don’t love you enough to put it all on the line. Goodbye, Youngbae… hyung.”

             Youngbae desperately tried one more time, tears falling freely from his eyes. “Seungri... you’re my everything,” he cried, his voice breaking as the reality hit.

             Seungri felt his cracking heart break as he turned away from Youngbae. It didn’t break in two, but rather shattered into a million unrecognizable fragments, his very being breaking down. Seungri couldn’t, wouldn’t even attempt to pick up the shards of his heart; he didn’t deserve to. He left them scattered on the rooftop with Youngbae, to be trampled on and crushed until there was nothing left. 

A/N: Don't hate me. Please. I love you all. <3 
Thank you as always. You know who you are. ;)