Witches, Frogs and Other Ugly Things by RUJelly

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Witches, Frogs and Other Ugly Things by RUJelly

 

Genre: Supernatural

 

Characters: Pae Chiyo + Park Jimin + Kim Taehyung 

 

Status: Ongoing

 

One boring summer night, a young inexperienced witch decides to invade her grandma's library. That same boring summer night, a drunk teen turns into a frog.

Notes From Reviewer

 

Get a beta-reader or your story proof read. They'll help with the grammar, typos, punctuations and spelling mistakes. They'll help with the flow of the story too.

Title (6/10)

I prefer the previous title 'The Witch and The Frog'. It sounded more eye-catching, especially for disney lovers. For this though, it reminds of 'The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe' but doesn't have the 'zing' to it. It may not catch the readers attention. So you either change to a more eye-catching one or revert back to the previous one. But out of curiosity, why did you change it?

Description & Foreword (8/10)

The foreward was short and clean. However, there's nothing too spectacular about it. It gave a small inside of the plot which isn't actually much of a problem. However, the punctuation and tenses, you might need to change abit. 

Original: One boring summer night a young inexperienced witch decides to invade her grandma's library. That boring summer night a drunk teen turns into a frog.
Fixed: One boring summer night, a young inexperienced witch decides to invade her grandma's library. That same boring summer night, a drunk teen turns into a frog. -Commas. It's not a runon sentence. 'One boring summer night' is an independent clause, 'That same boring summer night' as well. 

Original: Pae Chiyo has always been reckless.
Fixed: Pae Chiyo had always been reckless. - I realized your entire paragraph was in past tense, so your tense should be consistent.   
 

Plot (17/20)

It's original. No doubt about it. Besides the fact that Jimin became a frog because of a witch, a little or 'The Princess and The Frog' element in it, but besides that. It's original. I l

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Comments

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FZ_LAY10 #1
Chapter 2: i have requested a poster form krystal15, i look forward to the results, if you have any questions please do ask me :)))))
snowblush
#2
i've requested for reviews :)
Krystal_Rose #3
Hello! I've requested a poster from Myungjiyounglo. I look forward to the results!
StarPeace
#4
Chapter 2: How much karma we have to pay per chapter?
jaefulfluff
#5
Chapter 2: I've requested! This is my first time requesting for my story to get a review. Thank you ^^
ejacyeolation
#6
I've requested! :)
hailiangli
#7
Chapter 13: Ah thank you I didn't noticed it was done. I understand what you mean and I got a beta reader too XD
chanbob 102 streak #8
Hello I have requested for a review to wonderland however since shes not available (?) I will wait or have another reviewer do it if they are interested! Thank you
randombelle
#9
hi! just want to inform you i've submit the hiring form. Thank you!