I don’t dare to give her anything more than a soft peck. I have this stupid thought in my head that maybe if I don’t kiss her for too long, she’ll forgive me and one day we’ll be able to resume our friendship? Because friends with her would be better than nothing. 

But still, that moment will be engraved in my memory forever. Her signature scent of cinnamon and cherry blossom, her lips brushing against mine, the way my left hand slipped out of her palm and the fingers of my left hand curled around hers. My right hand reaching up behind her neck to support and guide her, entangled in her hair the way Wonwoo used to do with me... and her lips, so warm compared to the frosty air.

My hand slips out of hers, I draw my head away. I don’t want to look at her. I’m too scared that my fears will be realized when I see what is written on her face. I pick up a piece of gravel off the road and roll it around in my fingers, acting like it is the most fascinating thing in the world. 

"Momo?" 

I in a breath, and raise my head. 

Mina is smiling at me. 

She is ing smiling at me!

Her smile pops into a grin. "Um."

That sets me off, and I start laughing. Well, not really laughing. Giggling. A little hysterically. "You – you’re ok with that?" I choke out.

Now she starts laughing, too. She finally manages to gasp out a "Yeah." 

Well. 

Mina suddenly squeals, darting up and grabbing my hand, pulling me away from the road. I stumble after her, falling onto the footpath. A split second later, a heavy lorry rumbles past. 

" . . .." I say. 

"Whew," Mina says. 

We stare at each other for a second, our eyes wide open and heartbeats racing with the adrenaline, then just start laughing harder. 

This is a weird night. 

"You have to tell Wonwoo." Mina says, several hours later, when everyone has either passed out or gone home. It’s a statement, something that is non‐negotiable. Despite her happy‐go‐lucky view of life, she’s not going to put up for being strung along.

I knew that this was coming. "I know," I say. A pause. "I don’t want to hurt him."

"People will have figured it out by now," she continues, determined. "It will hurt him less and he will lose less status if he hears it from you first."

"Yeah," I say, because if I disagreed I would be kidding myself. ''In the morning,'' I promise her. 

She looks unhappy, but doesn’t push it. 

I wake up at five, despite my late night. I open my cell phone and see 14 new messages and 7 missed calls from Wonwoo. I almost turn my phone back off, but, come on Momo, get a grip, I think. You'd be a not to do this.

The cellphone rings, once, twice, and in the middly of the third ring - It's Wonwoo's y sleepy voice, saying "Hello?"

"Hi," I say, shyly, reduced to the quiet girl I was when I first met him. 

I can almost hear him sit up straighter. 

"Momo?" 

"Yeah. Wonwoo, can I meet you somewhere? I – we – need to talk."

"Momo, it’s 5.07," he says. 

Oh yeah. 

"I can come over to your place," I say hesitantly. "Um. If your parents wouldn’t mind?"

"Momo," he says, with that calm voice I loved when he was just my best friend, the one that made me know he was in control and everything was going to be alright. "Do you want to break up with me?"

I’m stunned into silence. At his calmness. At his willingness to accept what I want. Why does it have to be like this? In stories, when girls break up with guys, it’s always because they were total jerks to them and then went and cheated on them. It’s practically the opposite here. It’s like I’m breaking up with my best friend. Life isn’t as easy as it is in books.

"Momo?" he asks. 

"I wanted to talk to you face to face," I begin my explanation. 

"Momo," he says again, cutting me off. "Are you breaking up with me?"

A beat. And then, in a small voice, but clear as day, "Yes."

But then I rush on. "Can we please still be friends?" 

There is a long silence, and then a painful, almost wry chuckle. "You really don’t understand, do you Momo? You’ve just broken up with me, over the phone, and you’re asking if we can still be friends?" 

I feel all deflated. I’m really bad at this. 

"Alright," I say, "sorry."

He breathes out heavily. "It’s alright. I don’t suppose you listened to any of the voice messages I left?" 

"No," I admit. 

"Well then, I’ll apologize now. I was rude about your friend, I think I may have even underestimated you and your ability to have strong opinions on serious issues. But I have my own opinions, too."

I'm suddenly so tired, so tired of this all. "Ofcourse you do," I say. "And I'm not going to try to change them now, perhaps ever, but I know that right now is certainly not the time." Another beat. "I- I think I'll go back to bed. Uh- later?"

Again, that painful and wry chuckle come down the phone. "Good bye, Momo." he says.

Oh, right. There's unlikely to be a later, not for a while. Before I can do any more harm, I end the call.

I hear feet crunching across the grass. I sense a body behind me, and then shivers run down my spine as I'm kissed on the back of my neck. "Thank you." Mina says, simply, and I'm suddenly certain that no matter how hard it was, I've made the right decision.