[03/06/16]

Dear Diary,

Don’t you wonder sometimes if what you hear escaping other people lips and what they actually want to tell you are two different things?

I can’t explain it but it is like I’m having a sixth sense, guessing what is about to come, but standing there with mouth agape and confusion written all over my face, since I have no idea if this is how the conversation should have happened in the first place.

Everyone knows that Yuri is quite a flirt, she has no problem of telling other people sweet nothings. She never stutters or cares about the outcome, also she voices her thoughts clearly and loudly.

But for some reason our interactions lately are getting stranger. Who knows, maybe it is just me who expects something so I just imagine that there is more… something way MORE behind her fidgeting hands and quiet words. Is it even possible that someone like me could leave the almighty Kwon Yuri speechless?
 

[07/06/16]

It happened again today. All of a sudden Yuri grabbed my hand without explaining anything and dragged me to an empty locker room for a little chat. I can never really fight her, since she’s a friend and that’s normal, though her hands always linger on my hand, like she’s trying to prolong it for at least a second.

Once again, I neither fight nor mind it, but in confuses me.

More and More.

“Mmm… there is something I want to tell you…” and there it is, that same phrase that I have probably heard for at least ten times… But who’s counting?

“Yes?”

“I…I…”

“You can just tell me…”, I’m not expecting much, believe me, you will soon realize why.

“I…l..like… apple pie”.

“Oh?”

“YES! Have you eaten it? I just found this new recipe! We should try it sometimes! I could probably squeeze it into my schedule and make some for you!”, she’s excited like it is the most normal thing to grab someone (stealing their attention away from other friends) and tell such a random trivial thing. I already knew she liked apple pie… who doesn’t like it?

“I would love to”, I still answer with a smile, always noticing her weird behavior. Not voicing it out loud though…
 

[08/06/16]

“I…LIKE the sky… you know… the moon and… I like it both in daytime and night time… during the day, it is so clear, there are many clouds and the sun is so shiny, isn’t it? At night… there are stars and I wish sometimes, I could touch all of them. Well, that’s obviously impossible but… even though they are untouchable, they are beautiful to look at, right?”
 

[10/06/16]

“I…l…li…LOVE that dog! OMG what a cutie! Let’s go! Maybe the owner will let us play with him for a little while! This is so exciting!”
 

[12/06/16]

“So… this is it… I have been meaning to tell you for… a very long time but…” *coughs* nervously and looks down at the ground. I have noticed that Yuri does it sometimes. It is not a constant behavior but lately, for some reason it is like she’s waiting and expecting something from the ground.

“Okay, I’m listening…”

This comes naturally to me to. Whether we are standing in the park, near our school, back at hers or mine place, visiting one of our friends’ home, parking lot, cafeteria, market, I always encourage her with the same words. Everytime my heart starts beating faster and I don’t know what I’m expecting even… but the more random and weird confessions I hear, the more I want to believe… gosh… who am I kidding… I hope that maybe Yuri secretly likes me too. 

“I really… like… REALLY… like coffee…”

“Oh…”

“No wait… that’s not it…”

“No?”

“No no… I lo…ve… TEA!”

“Oh…okay…”

And once again, the atmosphere gets awkward around us. I don’t know how to explain it, but maybe it is just me who’s stupid like that…
 

[16/7/16]

“I have an idea!”, another friend of mine, Sooyoung announces excitedly. She’s the only one who knows about my unreasonable crush on Yuri that doesn’t disappear no matter how many times I tried to look away…or at least find someone else attractive… ha… if only it was that simple. 

I would have denied it the first time when Soo noticed my crush but I mean come on... she said that I looked at Yuri more lovingly that I look at food. There was no way out of it and fooling Sooyoung was not an option.

“I’m all ears…”, I whisper while looking down at my gre