Tacenda (n.)
- Things that are better left unsaid

The bell rang as I’ve ran straightly to the hallway. The students are still messing around knowing the fact that majority of the teachers won’t be in our school for meetings or were absent today. Even our homeroom teacher is late. The bell already rang but she’s still not here.

I sat on my chair and find those two. I saw Jaehyun with his earphones, browsing the internet with some news about the weather. Laughters echoed inside the room, loud, interfering the peaceful atmosphere outside. The sky is bit dim but not that heavy dark compared to past days. I can already feel the raining season.

The knocking of the doors made us quiet. Taeyong was the person who knocked, thinking that our homeroom teacher is here already. He went inside the room. “She’s late.” The guy in front whispered to him. He saw me and Jaehyun, and waved to us as the door slides open once again. Taeyong became petrified to see our teacher is already behind him. He quickly ran on his seat as the professor giggled because of his foolishness.

We bowed and greeted her a pleasant good morning, even though there is nothing pleasant to mornings. Waking up early to meet the same faces, it’s annoying.

“Good morning class, today would be a sudden change for all of you, for we will welcome a new studeent from Japan. Her name is Hyejin. Jung Hyejin.” In a sudden, everyone clapped as she went inside.

A girl with a chestnut hair, pale skin, and beautiful shining eyes came from outside. The boys are cheering her, and as I shifted my eyes on Taeyong and Jaehyun, they’re only staring at the ground. They are bit flustered to what’s going on so I decided not to make the situation fun when it wasn’t.

“My name is Jung Hyejin from Japan. I know three languages, English, Japanese, and Korean, so feel free to talk to me whenever you like.” As she kept on releasing her words of introduction, she kept on staring at me. Like she’s been targeting to bully me. “Miss, do we have a first subject?” In a sudden, she asked.

The teacher in front became confused. “I-I don’t really know? Professor Lim said he would be absent but- I don’t exactly kno-“

“Then, Mr. Ten, the guy over there at the back.”

Of course she will call my name, but I don’t expect for her to call it right now, in a sudden, in front of my homeroom teacher. I know she will say something to me like greetings but I don’t get it why in a sudden like a flash of light? “Please come with me at the rooftop. Please excuse us.”

“I will not let you.” Our professor demanded. She rolled her eyes and that’s what makes our professor transforming from human to dragon. “If you’re going to roll eyes on me, get out of this section, I don’t need a student like you.”

“If you’re going to yell at me like that in front of your student, I will leave, because I really don’t like the way you reprimand me. You’re not even asking me why I rolled my eyes.” The jaws of my classmates dropped as they widen their eyes in shock. She looks innocent like a rabbit lost in the jungle, but on how she approached the disciplinary act of our professor is really misleading. She’s a tiger hiding beneath the rabbit’s face.

“Get out.” Our teacher is already forming fire under her stomach. She’s preparing to burn this student up.

“I will tell my reasons why I am here. So, miss, please shut up for a second.” Our teacher stepped back in shock, and embarrassment. I heard some of the students are chuckling because of her attitude. “I’m here not to study or to make fun with you guys. As you can see, I’m a popular net idol or what you guys called ulzzang. I’ve been in Japan for years, hiding on public so to be here with you guys, is stressing for me.

And!

I am Jung Jaehyun’s ex.”

I knew she will spill it out.

The girls inside were nodding instead of being shocked. I, too, want to nod because it is not surprising to see Jaehyun with this girl. She’s pretty hot and cute at the same time. Combining those two will trigger a love at first sight. “But, I am not here to go back to the past where Jaehyun and I are making a kingdom that had been demolished. I do not have any feelings with him anymore. Nor with anyone. I am here to pay a debt to someone who doesn’t even knew I owe something to him. It’s Ten.

Can you come with me for a second?” I stood up as I saw Jaehyun disagreeing. I can’t just ignore this girl. She has a debt that I don’t even know what is it.

The guys are rolling their eyes after I walked outside the room. It is stressing for me to stand beside her. I feel like she’s going to punch me right in my stomach.

As we walked through the hallway it was just a complete silence. “It’s so hard to pull an act in front of the class. I was nervous that the professor might slap me.” She giggled cutely and adoring, like a cat.

“An act?”

“Yes. I’m not that kind of girl you imagined. I pulled that bastard aura out of me, because I don’t really have time to waste. I enrolled here but I’m going to drop this school after I’m done talking to you. Tomorrow, I won’t be here anymore. I’ll be flying back to Japan.”

“So that Jaehyun’s ex is an act as well?”

“No, it’s true. But don’t be mistaken if I’m bad btch or not. I’m not. I don’t cling at guys for . I don’t sell my body. I have dreams to pursue. I’m just here to clear things up.” She smiled and grabbed my hands as she opened the doors of rooftop.

We arrived there after going through those steep stairs of this school. She was panting and she was complaining on how the structure of this building . She’s talking like we’re close or what. I think she’s friendly and I was mistaken by earlier. I thought she’s like some of those rich students in other class that kept on pulling their ‘famous’ aura under sleeves. They’re like ‘I have so many followers here.’

‘I don’t know why I’m so pretty.’

or such, which are the things I hate the most; Those narcissists.

The wind is vast, cold and thick, it’s almost hard to breathe. She’s been standing in front of me, silenced, finding words on how to explain what she needs to say right now. The dark clouds moved and forming dark skies. I saw the lightnings flicker as she stepped forward to me.

“Ten,

have you ever been confined in an hospital before?”

I paused for a bit as the winds swept my hair. “I don’t remember being inside the hospital.”

“Wow, then who’s the one I saw last time? ...

Oh! Sorry I was just talking to myself.

I have not introduced myself formally to you yet. Hello, I’m Jung Hyejin. I’m a daughter of one of the richest guy in the world. I will not say what’s his name for he is not connected in our topic anyways. I’ve been Jaehyun’s girlfriend before. He’s kind, he’s funny, but he’s mysterious. I fell in love with him, because he treats everyone the same. Whatever race you’re in, gender, heights, status in life or such, everyone is same for him. That is the reason why I liked him. He’s smart and he thinks what should he do before he act it out. He’s planning every actions and once he’s done planning, no one can ever stop him.

I admire him. He’s way better than Taeyong.

Even for once, I didn’t think cutting our ties.”

She sat, turning back on me, looking at those small buildings that this district has. My sweat is dripping down on my neck.

“It was February when his mother had a fight with his dad. His father is a drunkard, only thinks about getting enough money for soju. He’s not even working, or maybe he is but it is for liquors and cigarettes. When her mother knew about this, she had to plan a divorce. She knew her husband only does harm to their precious son.

His mother let Jaehyun travel to Thailand to get the papers for divorce for she’s been inside the office, working so hard to get money for her child. She will be sacrificing her relationship with her husband, for the sake of Jaehyun. She’s selfless. She’s definitely like Jaehyun.

His mom said that after getting all of the papers, Jaehyun should show it to his dad for him to sign it. That alone, can wake his dad from his vices. I pitied Jaehyun. Not as long as that accident happened.”

She stood up gritting her teeth, clenching her hands in anger. The clouds became heavier than before, but it’s not yet raining. It is waiting for the story to be finished.

“Jaehyun flew to Korea. He rode to a plane, Thailand Flight X26.”

What?!

“I.. That’s my flight.” I whispered in shock.

“That’s not your flight. Because,

 You have never been in a crash.”

“What?” Petrified, she walked towards me and whispered softly. “Let me finish.”

“Thailand flight X26 crashed.” Creepily she strolled behind me. My body feels stiff and I feel lightheaded, so I sat down. I have to bear this. Pain is starting to grow inside of my head as I keep on thinking. I should never collapse at a time like this.

“Thailand flight X26 crashed, and he survived. He survived and that’s the thing. I don’t get it why he saved Chittaphon.”

“He saved me?”

“No. Not you. You still don’t get the story?”

“I don’t have time for mysteries, Hyejin.” I weakly whispered.

“I want you to discover the mysteries by yourself...

Jaehyun saved Chittaphon from drowning, and he was confined to an hospital here in Seoul. Chittaphon’s body came here and was confined.

I tried to contact Jaehyun if he’s alright and all he kept on saying that he’s still in Thailand for recovery. Which is impossible because I stalked the flight that he’s in, all the passengers should arrive in Korea for treatment. Not in Thailand. I was so sure it was that flight who crashed. I know he’s lying. I just pretended like it wasn’t. After being in America, I flew back to Korea to stalk him. I went to his house but I found nothing. His friends are telling me he’s still inside the hospital. I went inside to confirm it, and they were right.

He’s smiling, greeting the doctors around while carrying a bag of fruits. He’s not even injured. He’s not even recovering.

He’s cheerfully running.

I saw him went inside room 204. I don’t know why it’s hidden from the hallways of the hospital. What I mean is it’s been isolated.

I peek inside, and I saw him smiling, talking to a sleeping guy named Chittaphon. It is the guy that he saved from drowning. I’m confused. He ignored me just because of that guy. That Chittaphon is a stranger, it’s not his boyfriend. I asked myself why he’s doing this to me. He liked me, but he’s turning his back on me, because of that guy. I called him on his phone and ask what he was doing. He answered, he was watching TV. I also asked, with whom. He answered me, with himself, alone.

That time, I broke up with him. He’s lying. He’s good at lying. It’s his specialty.

After I got home, I cried, I feel like cutting myself or drowning, or jumping on the rooftop, I even bought twenty medicines to overdose myself, but I realized that I should do something first before dying. I went back and I saw nobody is inside of Chittaphon’s room.

I removed all of his apparatuses, and let him die. There are cameras, but I don’t care going in prison anymore. I just can’t take it. I thought he would tremble gasping for oxygen,

But, he wasn’t

he didn’t die.

Jaehyun and Taeyong saw me with my hands grasping those tubes, with my eyes that are dead. Jaehyun was screaming ‘I hate you’, ‘Get lost’, like it doesn’t hurt.”

I shifted my gaze to see her crying, hands on her face, trembling as I let her sit beside me. I was looking at the skies to drown me with rain.

“I went to Japan, tried to forget about everything.

I want to make up for Chittaphon, I want him to recover, to stay alive, so I send some of the bodyguards to visit him everyday in the hospital, to pay for his bills, and such.

It’s going great, I felt great, But to think of it, it’s now confusing.”

“Why?”

“You told me you don’t remember being in a hospital. If it was you who got into a plane crash, who got confined inside the hospital, why you’re here without your memory that you’ve been inside that room? It’s not like you got out while you’re sleeping. It’s not like you gain consciousness inside of your house. You are still be waking up inside of that room no matter what happens. Doctors won’t let you out while you’re still sleeping. It’s impossible.”

“So you’re telling me that I’m not the one that got into an accident?”

“Perhaps. My guards are visiting Chittaphon everyday INSIDE that hospital. How could they found a guy like him walking on the streets? I told my guards to stalk you, and send a picture to me, and you really look like him. Heights, skin tone, moles, everything. I let them stop stalking you nor visiting Chittaphon, because I thought you might be a doppelganger of him. I want to know whether you have a twin or not.

If you’re the real deal and you just forgot everything, then I want to tell you that I’ll solve the mysteries of your life. But if not so, if you’re his little brother, please help me.”

“I know the reason why you’re interested, but I have to tell you, I have a memory of myself drowning. It was me who got into that flight. It’s not the guy you’re talking about.”

“If so, how can you explain what I told you? My guards are divided to half. The ones that is visiting you, and the group that is stalking you. How can you explain that? There is wrong about this. It might be you have a twin brother, or not. Right now, I can’t say because I haven’t see Chittaphon yet. Let’s assume that you have a twin.”

“But here, If I have a twin, I should remember him riding X26 with my family. The only ones I remember going inside that flight is me, Tern, and my parents. If I have a lost twin, Tern probably saw it and told me about that, but it’s not. I still remember myself drowning and a teen saved me as well. Pertaining to what you’ve told me, Jaehyun saved a guy drowning, so it should be me.”

“You’re correct but there are something wrong. And it is your confinement inside the hospital. You’ve drowned and injured, Jaehyun saved you, yes, you got unconscious, STILL, you should wake up inside of a random hospital. Not in your house.”

I got shivers all over my body just by thinking about it.

“You might have been in the crash, but Chittaphon might have been inside the hospital. If we’re going to look at it, it seems like.....

You’ve died in the plane, and Chittaphon took your life and pain, and be saved by Jaehyun.”

I gaze at both of my cold hands asking what really happened. It’s impossible. “I’m going to that hospital tomorrow and see it for myself. I will not tell you if there is a mysterious ‘twin’ lying on the cold bed. I’ll let you discover it by yourself.

Please tell the class that I won’t be back for tomorrow. I’m done telling you what I know. It is now your responsibility to find it by yourself. If you ever need something about financial and such, except about your life, call me.” She grabbed her wallet and pull out a gold calling card. “I want to help you, but I have no right to say everything. If you’re the one that I almost killed by taking your life support, I’m very sorry. Please forgive me.” She bowed and smiled. I nodded as she mysteriously walked away from me, until she faded out of my sight. It is getting foggy.

I’ve been in plane accident. I drowned, I saw Jaehyun saved me, and got unconscious. I recovered and woke up from a deep sleep inside of my house.

Now, there is a guy named Chittaphon, in one of Seoul’s hospitals, unconscious, recovering, because he have been in a plane accident. He’s not waking up yet.

Thinking about it is stressing. I can feel my blood rushing all over the place. My heart is beating fast and it makes my breathing hard. All I can hear is my pulse, nothing else, as the rain took place after the dryness of the morning. I stroll down the stairs, down to the clinic to check my temperature. I feel nauseated and I’m thinking that it maybe due to the stress and anxiety I’ve been getting.

I have to admit that I am somewhat believing Hyejin. She went here from Japan, and out all of the efforts, she went here just to say that I have a mysterious twin lurking around the hospitals in Seoul. Should I believe it? Yes.

Shouldn’t I believe it? Yes.

I should believe, and I should not. This is what I can tell everyone right now. I am so confused by the moment she said everything she knows about my life. It was so accurate. She even know I woke up inside a house, not inside an hospital room.

The thunder roared and made the nurse startled. “You have a fever. Please rest here at the moment.”

I want to sleep but I can’t. Voices echoing in my mind asking what I really am. Of all the hospitals around Seoul, where should I start finding the guy?

The door opened and I saw Jaehyun and Taeyong rushing to my bed. “ARE YOU OKAY?” Taeyong yelled. Jaehyun put his hands on my forehead as I try to force a smile. “I’m little bit dizzy and weak. It’s only a fever. Nurse will take care of me.” I said.

“What did Shana told you?”

What should I say? Should I tell them that I have a creepy twin that is lying on an hospital bed right now?

I took a deep breath, finding a word to say. “Umm.. She just warned me.. To take care of myself, try not to be curious about things. She’s pretty kind.”

“No.” Taeyong exclaimed. Why? Because she tried to kill me or my twin? It doesn’t count. She’s sorry right now. All I, or my twin can do is to forgive her.

“Please trust me. Do not believe what she said. She’s a liar.”

What should I do? I don’t even know her.

I guess, for now, I have to forget everything she told me and trust my friends. That way my mind would be peaceful.