Chapter 18

(Late Night Investigations)

Desi’s Point of View

Fire. Everything was on fire. Massive columns of it consumed cars, houses, whole buildings. The flames stretched toward the sky, twirling and darting toward the stars in a beautiful, intricate dance that was as mesmerizing as it was powerful. The heat of it surrounded me like a warm embrace, and despite knowing that I probably should have been afraid, I wasn't.

The city before me was lit in shades of orange and red and yellow, consumed by the raging fire tearing through the streets and racing along the buildings. It was horrifying, but strangely beautiful.

I stood at the top of a hill, looking down on the chaos. From here, I could barely pick out the dark shadows of zombies caught in the inferno. They writhed and flailed, but they couldn't escape. Their screams mixed with the roar of the fire, creating a cacophony like nothing I'd ever heard before. And all I did was watch. I felt no sympathy. No remorse. Maybe that should have worried me, but I couldn't bring myself to care. Besides, it was only a dream.

Normal people might have dreamt about something happier. A safe place, a peaceful place, where their friends and family were all together, without fear or danger. Others might have considered my dream a nightmare.

But I didn’t.

I wasn’t afraid of my dreams. In fact, I almost welcomed them. I don’t have the same feelings as some other people would toward these images. They didn’t fill me with fear, or horror. They fueled my adrenaline, and made me feel strong.

So no, I didn’t dream of peace, or a normal life. Maybe because it’s not what I want. I didn’t want things to go back to normal. I wasn’t sure they could anyway, but if we were given a choice, I wouldn’t change a thing.

I was terrified of living a boring life, of doing the same routine every single day. Even worse, I was terrified of not having a purpose. I would rather of faced a thousand monsters than a single day without purpose.

Over these past couple months, I came to realize that after every zombie we killed, it got easier and easier. And not only that, but in a sick, twisted way, I almost enjoyed it. It gave me a feeling of purpose. It gave me a reason to go on. And not to pat myself on the back or anything, but I think I've actually gotten good at it.

The thrill is what got me every time. The adrenaline rush, the danger, the threat of death around every corner. One wrong move, or mis-step, or miscalculation, and you were dead. It may scare some, but it only motivated me to push harder, move faster, think smarter. I had a duty to protect my friends. I’d do anything for them. No matter what that ‘anything’ meant.

It was a ‘kill or be killed’ type of world we lived in now. You couldn't afford any hesitation. I knew that if I ever became a zombie, I would want someone to put a bullet in my brain and stop me. I'd rather be dead than become one of those beasts. And I knew my friends felt the same.

I didn’t know what this safe house had in store for us, but I didn’t trust them. I had to make sure none of those high and mighty bastards were trying to hurt my friends, and that this place was what they claimed it was. And after I did that, and made sure we were all safe, I wanted to go back out in the field.

We fought so long to get here, and almost died doing it, but now that we were here, I wanted to go back out. It might have sounded crazy, but it was the truth. I was afraid that we would lose our drive, and that we’d fall into a routine of boring day after boring day, doing nothing but sitting around twiddling our thumbs. The thought made me go crazy. I needed to get back out there. No way was I going to be stuck in that safe house for the rest of my life.

A shot rang out and my dream swirled back into focus. A little ways down the hill, Jungkook was firing his pistol the few zombies that attempted to escape the fire. I was struck again by how handsome he was. The firelight flickers across his face, illuminating his soft features and casting shadows over his pale skin. His jaw was clenched, and his face was set in concentration. Damn him. He was even perfect in my dreams.

There was a sudden crash from somewhere nearby. The sound made me jump, and I spun around to find the source, but there was nothing but an empty hilltop behind me. My eyebrows pulled down in confusion, and I turned back to Jungkook, about to call out to him. But then there was another crash, a hissed curse, and I snapped awake.

My eyes opened to darkness, and for a moment, I forgot where I was. I panicked a little, my muscles tensing as I prepared for an attack I was sure was about to come. But my surroundings slowly came into view, and I remembered where I was and relaxed.

I could make out the bunk above me, and could see the shadows of the room beyond the foot of my bed. Jungkook was still pressed against my side, his pleasant body heat radiating into me. I had my arm draped over his waist, and my head was resting on his chest. I could feel his breath gently fanning over my hair, and I could hear the slow, methodic beat of his heart. He was fast asleep.

I yawned quietly and sat up slightly, trying to see what it was that woke me up.

Across the room, I could just barely make out a shadow climbing back to its feet from where it must have tripped over something. I sat up, carefully pulling away from Jungkook so I didn’t wake him up. My eyes adjusted a bit more, and I suddenly recognized the lean form struggling to his feet. I blinked a couple of times, and then frowned. I slid my legs off the bed and sat all the way up.

“Yoongi?” I called quietly.

The gray-haired boy turned his head toward me, his dark eyes wide with surprise. He sighed heavily, and straightened up. He dusted off his clothes, then rubbed a hand over his face tiredly. “What are you doing up?” I asked. I hopped off the bed and walked to where he was standing. He cast a quick glance at the others, who were somehow still fast asleep, even after all the noise Yoongi had been making.

“I guess that’s what I get for trying to sneak out,” he grumbled bitterly, reaching down to rub his sore shin. I raised an eyebrow at him and crossed my arm. Sneak out? Where the hell was he trying to go?

“What are you talking about?” I hissed. “Do you know how much trouble you could get in if you got caught?”

Yoongi scowled and edged a step closer to the door. His hands balled into fists and he shook his head, his mouth pulling down into a scowl.

“I don’t care. I don’t trust these bastards. Everything they say and do rubs me wrong,” he says lowly. He stepped toward me and glances at the others to make sure no one else had woken up during our conversation. Once he was sure no one was moving, his eyes snapped back to mine. “They’re keeping something from us. And I know you’re think the same thing. I can see it in your face. You want answers as bad as I do.”

I stared at him, but said nothing. He wasn’t wrong. I didn’t trust these government officials any further than I could throw them, and I definitely thought they were hiding something from us. And yeah, I wanted answers. I just wasn’t sure I wanted to face the wrath of Sergeant Asshat and Creepy Eve if we got caught. But then again, if they had plans to hurt my friends, I’d rather find out about it now than later.

Yoongi stepped away from me and motioned toward the door. “You can come with me, or you can stay here. But I’m going.” We locked eyes for a beat, and the room fell silent but for Hoseok’s light snores, and Taehyung’s mutterings. I glanced back at Jungkook, and watched the gentle rise and fall of his chest for a moment. I sighed, and turned back to Yoongi.

“Alright, I'll come with you.”

Yoongi nodded, and his scowl turned into a slight smirk. He reached for the handle, and he opened the door slowly. The hallway outside was dark. Part of me was surprised that the door wasn’t locked, and that they hadn’t posted a guard. It was almost like they trusted us. But then again, I knew better. For all we knew, they had security cameras posted on us at all times, and guards doing rounds every however many minutes.

Yoongi stuck his head out to look down the dark hallways, making sure it was clear. It didn't look like anyone was around, so he motioned for me to follow, and slipped out into the hallway. I closed the door softly behind me, and we started off, heading back the way we came from earlier.

We stuck close to each other, moving as silently as we could. The place looked abandoned at night, without a single guard in sight. I was still wary though, and I needed to make sure Yoongi and I didn’t get caught. Even though I hardly knew him, I felt connected to him. He was Hoseok, Taehyung and Jungkook’s friend, and therefore he was mine by default as well. And I had to appreciate the fact that he didn’t trust the government any more than I did, which couldn’t be said for the others. It was a small relief that I wasn’t the only paranoid one around here.

I glanced over at Yoongi, studying his intense expression and the dark circles under his eyes. I wanted to laugh out loud because Yoongi’s pale skin was practically fluorescent, even in the dark, but I managed to stifle the urge.

“Where do you think we should start?” Yoongi asked quietly, slowing his pace as we approached a corner. He stuck his head around it to see if we were still alone, then started walking again. I raised an eyebrow and let out a quiet scoff.

“You didn’t have a place in mind?” I asked. “You were just going to sneak out and wing it?”

He glared over at me. “Yah, I didn’t see you coming up with any genius plans either, slayer,” he snaps. I rolled my eyes. He wasn’t wrong, I supposed. I had to give him that one.

“Fine. I saw a room with a bunch of computers earlier. We can try that first, and then check out some of the labs if we don’t find anything,” I offered. I tried to remember how to get to the room, but this place was such a maze that I figured we’d probably have a better chance wandering around until we found it. At least I knew it was in this general direction.

Yoongi shook his head. “Computers mean passwords and alarm systems. I don’t know about you, but I’m no hacker. We’ll probably have better luck in the labs. They must at least have some files and stuff in there.”

I nodded. “Sounds good.”

With that, we fell back into silence, and started down the countless hallways. I was mentally trying to remember every twist and turn we did, so we could find our way back, but they all looked the same. It was more than a little creepy, and the lack of guards, or anybody, really, didn’t help. We hadn't run into a single person yet. And that made me nervous.

However, all of my worries were pushed to the side once we reached the first lab. The halls were still abandoned, and when Yoongi pushed agains