The rain was falling down quickly as I sat next to the window in the living room of the small cabin. The harder I looked at the droplets of water on the glass, the longer the seconds seemed to last.

I smelled the hot chocolate that Taehyung was brewing up and I instantly let a small smile come onto my face.

The smell reminded me of the many times he would come over to my house on winter mornings with a thermos of his special hot chocolate in his hands for me. The smell was sweet and warm, just as I always pictured Taehyung in my head.

Moments after this he came and handed me a mug filled to the brim with marshmallows.

“Thanks,” I said.

“You’re welcome,” and the guy who use to try to sit as closely as he could to me, now went to sit on the chair across from me.

I couldn’t help but feel a little empty.

“It’s raining pretty hard.” I didn’t want to make eye contact with him.

“Yeah, I didn’t think it’d rain so hard but…” His words faded into nothing.

“Are you tired? You drove for a while,” I asked him. He seemed a bit down.

Is he sad for the same reason I am?

“I’m fine,” he said.

“Are you sure?” I asked him.

“Hale, I told you I miss you,” he stated.

“I miss you too,” I said back.

“I think we’re just going to keep missing each other huh?” he asked me.

“I think so,” I said.

“What happened to us?” he asked me.

I didn’t say anything, but instead let him continue.

“We were supposed to stick together. We were supposed to stay close,” his eyes were on him own cup of hot chocolate, “How did we fall apart so easily? I feel like we haven’t talked in a while. I don’t even know what’s going on in your life anymore.”

I still had nothing to say. The usual Taehyung never had anything serious like this to talk about.

“Hale,” he called for my eyes.

I looked up to meet his, “Yeah?”

He stood up; eyes still on mine, and came to sit next to me. This couch was made for one person and him squeezing in next to me brought a wave of heat to roll over my body. His arm was behind me and his chin was on the top of my head, this was way too close.

“Could you tell me you miss me again?”

I felt some sort of happiness and anger roll up inside my chest.

“Why would I do that again?”

He took his chin off my head to give a weird look to my face.

“What do you mean? I can’t have my best friend tell me that they miss me?”

“Taehyung, you just told me that you have some girl,” I glared at him, “You’re always like this. One moment you’re holding my hand and another moment you’re telling me about some girl. I make new friends and I even managed my awkward self to get a boyfriend and you seem so angry about it. You seem angry about it and yet you don’t explain why. You’d ignore me for it and then act like nothing happens. I’m tired of letting it slide by.”

I was so worked up by now. I couldn’t keep anything in. He just stared at me though.

“I have a boyfriend, you can’t be holding me like this anymore,” I stood up fro the small couch and set my drink on the table. I stayed standing there though.

“Hale,” Taehyung was quick to stand and grab my hand again.

I pulled my hand away.

“Do you know how it feels to be your best friend like this?” Tears started to well up in my eyes. Almost completely forgetting about Jungkook, I did what I was so afraid to do, years ago.

We both stood there; in the middle of the small cabin living room, and started at each other.

“Taehyung, I had been in love with you for the past 4 years.” His face never changed, a straight face was all there was.

“Hale-”

“Taehyung, do you know how it feels to have only one friend like that? I liked you so much. I couldn’t even confess to you cause I knew you didn’t feel the same. I was stuck being your best friend for 4 years. And now that I have a life, I can finally let this all out.”

Before I knew it, I was sobbing.

Taehyung looked a little conflicted whether to hold me or not.

But I glared at him to give him an answer.

“4 years of watching you be happy with other people, of me having to be mean and hide my feelings so you wouldn’t leave me.”

I couldn’t talk anymore. I figured that was enough. I sank to the floor and cried harder.

This was supposed to be a nice mini vacation but this rain gave me some feelings and those feelings were so old that they just needed to be known.

“Hale,” Taehyung sank down next to me.

I didn’t have the energy to push him away again.

And again, he pulled my hand into his.

And then he pulled my face into his other hand.

And then his thumb rolled over my tears to dry them.

And then he said one thing to me.

“But I loved you too,” and then he let his lips meet mine.

And I let our lips meet. Without much regard to anything outside that cabin, I let myself fall into Taehyung like I had always been wanting to.

~

The night rolled towards us and before we knew it, the sun had come up. We laid on the floor right were I fell sobbing that night before and we talked for the rest of the night. With blankets thrown around under and on top of us, we tossed and turned around that night. With a fire flickering next to us, we talked, and I never felt so close to him.

“You’re lying,” I accused Taehyung after he made his surprising confession.

“Hale,” he laughed, “How could I lie to you?”

“You’re lying,” I insisted again.

“Seriously! Why else would I choose to sit next to you?” I could feel his laughter with the side of my arm that was aligned with his.

“Because there wasn’t any seat open?”

“Because you were cute, that’s why,” he said. He turned his body over to face mine.

I couldn’t bring myself to do that; I was too shy, since when was I shy?

He continued talking, “Why didn’t you just tell me that you like me?”

“Because you’re the popular kid that everyone loves and I’m a nobody?”

“You were never a nobody. Why would you see it that?” his voice softened.

“Because I really was?” Somehow being able to talk about this out loud to him made me feel some sort of relief. All the things I had wanted to say finally get to be heard.

He was so close to me too. I could feel his breath on my forehead; I tried keeping my head straight, looking towards to ceiling, to avoid his eyes. The husky smell he had that always lingered on him was wafting over me.

His broad shoulders shook whenever we had something to laugh about and his long fingers graced their way over to me to only be woven between mine.

“Let me ask you now,” I said, still looking straight up.

“Shoot,” he said.

“Why didn’t you tell me you liked me too?” The question lingered in the air for a while. I waited for his answer.

“This is embarrassing,” he laid back down on his back.

I kept quiet.

“You’re amazing, Hale,” he started. “You don’t even try. You always ace every test like its nothing. You’re caring, even if you don’t want anyone to know it. You’re mean, but you have the kindest soul in there. I know it.”

“This is disgusting,” I scoffed and kicked his foot.

“No, really; you’re just good at everything you do. Like look at you now, in pre-med and you still manage to find friends and have a life without stressing so much.”

“I am stressing greatly,” I rolled my eyes. “You’re the one that’s perfect anyways, Mr. first of our class.”

“Yeah, I try really hard though. You do everything effortlessly.” He laughed at me.

I turned towards him.

He turned towards me.

And he kissed me again.