I remember when we met. It was the first day of high school and I had been the first person to get to the first class of the day. I was already anti-social so I didn’t even try to pay attention to the students that came trickling in at that point. I had taken the seat closest to the door, just so I could leave first after class was over.

Closest to the door meant in the front row and so no one sat with me. That is, till he came in. He had a huge smile plastered all over his stupid face. He came in with a couple other boys they filled in the last few seats. I could hear a few whispers about him wave over the other students. Is that him? Oh, wow, he’s really cute. Crap, I didn’t think I’d get a class with him. Taehyung? He looked over the class and walked pass me to sit down.

Taehyung had taken the seat beside me; his friends followed and sat in line next to him.

After talking to his friends a bit more, he turned to me, “Hi. I’m Taehyung.”

My heart skipped a beat. I didn’t even know what to say. I just nodded at him, keeping my straight face composed.

“And your name is?”

I hesitated, “I’m Hailey.”

“Hailey. I like it, pretty name,” he smiled again. But then again did he ever stop smiling?

And that was the boring beginning of our friendship. Everyday later he would always try to spark up a conversation with me. He’d ask about homework, and then about my family, then about what I did the last day; he broke me out of my shell. He made jokes when necessary and he volunteered to be my partner though he could’ve easily been with out of his friends next to him instead.

At first, there were questions floating around about why he was even talking to me. Others wondered why he chose such a mean looking girl to sit next to. I wondered the same. But none the least, I was grateful for his company. He made me look forward to school, unlike before.

“Do you wanna grab lunch with me later?” he threw at me one day.

What? Me? Lunch? Huh?

“I’m taking your silence as a yes, Hale,” he said to me, using his nickname he made for me to butter up his request.

“Meet me by my locker?”

I shifted my head from side to side.

“Why?”

“You meet me at mine,” I threw back.

“Okay sure, which locker?” he grinned at my approval of plans with him.

“Figure it out yourself,” I snickered before the bell rang.

The bell rang and we went our separate ways. Lunch rolled around and through I knew he didn’t know where my locker was, I waited anyways. Half the lunch period rolled by and I stood there nibbling on my sandwich.

“I FOUND YOU,” Taehyung ran up to me, his breath a little heavy from running, “I’ve been looking everywhere! Who picks a locker so far away from the lunch room?!”

“Were you looking this whole time?” I was truly astounded.

“Well we made plans didn’t we?” he chuckled through his rough breathing, his soft happy eyes looking at me through his thick lashes.

And that’s when I fell for him. I couldn’t help it either. No one had ever been so friendly with me at all, never, ever. And when he made it a priority to find me? Boom, my heart had set to him.

And that’s the beginning of my 4-year one-sided love.

He was always nice, but touchy too. It’d be the middle of class, during the teachers lecture, he’d just reach over and he’d hold my hand. He’d trace my fingers up and down. The first time he did this, I screamed.

“HEY,” everyone looked over at me. Taehyung just laughed and pushed me with his shoulder a bit. My face had flushed over with embarrassment and after giving me a disapproving look, the teacher returned to telling us about the history of our country.

“Your fingers were so cute that I couldn’t help it,” Taehyung whispered to me.

My face flushed over and I turned away from him. He is seriously my struggle.

Now, I’m used to him mindlessly touching me. I honestly, think it’s just out of habit. We’d be talking about homework and he’d just go to grab my hand to play with my fingers, or we’d be sitting in class and he’d reach over to tuck my hair behind my ear, I think he just likes to do things with his hands.

He would spend some of his lunch periods with me at my locker and we’d just joke around about nothing. We even walked home together whenever he didn’t have practice. He made it evident that I was a really good friend of his, he told me all the time.

And yes, I’ve thought about him possibly liking me back. Who wouldn’t think that when there’s a cute guy grabbing at you every chance he got?

I contemplated about him liking me back for a really long time too. I took the rest of the school year to see try to pick up more hints.

The last couple months of school, he gave me the biggest hint ever.

He walked into class holding another girls hand.

I didn’t even know her name, he never even said anything about this girl. Who was he anyways? My heart had sunk.

“Her names Tiffany,” Taehyung read my mind before I could muster any words out.

“And?” I tried to make it seem like it didn’t hurt.

“I just wanted my best friend to know first,” he smiled, yet again.

I didn’t ask about her. It hurt whenever I saw them together.

After a year of liking him, I realized he couldn’t possibly feel the same way. I’m probably just his sister. But with all these girls slowly falling in love with this adorable creature, I could’ve let myself let him know that I’ve fallen into the same order as to liking him too. I couldn’t let him think anything about me actually. What if I lost him as a friend? What if he never thinks of me the same if he knew I like him?

He can’t ever find out.

~

My alarm had gone off minutes ago; being stubborn, I turned it off and made an effort to go back to sleep. I had finally slowly drifted off a bit when I could hear someone coming up the stairs towards my room. Knowing whom it was, I squeezed my eyes tighter to make sure I looked asleep.

The door opened. “Hailey, are you up?” Taehyung whispered into my room. I stopped myself from smiling at his voice. I could feel my heart start to beat a little faster after his footsteps neared me.

“Hailey, it’s time to get ready! It’s the last day of high school!” he said a little louder to me. I persisted to keep my eyes shut, knowing how bad I looked, I would rather him think I’m unconscious for the moment.

I felt my hand being pulled gently into his. I felt him trace my fingertips with his fingertips. Every single finger, slowly, he went up and down each one. And with his touches I could feel my face starting to redden. I couldn’t take it anymore.

“TAEHYUNG, WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU’RE DOING IN MY ROOM?” I shouted at him, pretending to just wake up.

He laughed sheepishly and jumped back a bit. “Your mom let me come wake you up. You’re late by the way.”

I glanced at my clock. “. Get out, get out, get out,” I urged him out my door and locked it to get ready.

A few minutes later I came running down the stairs, my hair half combed through and my backpack still ped.

“Hey mom, I’m leaving!” I ran to the kitchen where my siblings were seated at the table and quickly gave them kisses.

“Here, take this! Go go go,” my mom handed me a quick snack bar and off I was again, sprinting to the door.

And there he was, just like he always was, waiting for me.

“Have everything you need?” he held a hand out to me, a smile on his face.

“Oh stop being all nice so early in the morning. It’s making me sick,” I pushed his hand away and stomped away towards school. I wanted to take his hand, but I couldn’t.

“Wait up for me!”

And that’s just how it was between us. He’s sickly sweet 24 hours of every single day of his stinking life and here I am, the biggest grump ever. Sure, I have already come to realization that I like him, but man, he can seriously be annoying too. How is it possible that someone can be so nice and so amazing at everything he does?

“Can you hold my hand?”

“Taehyung, please, not right now okay?” I wriggled out of his grasp.

“My hands are cold though,” he whined at me. God, he was so adorably annoying.

I grabbed his hands and stuck them in his hoodies pockets. I could see his smile fade since he thought we’d hold hands.

“Could’ve just held them,” I heard him mutter his breath.

“Find a girlfriend and you can hold her hand,” I teased.

“Stop,” he huffed.

Tiffany and him didn’t last long, thank god. She got overly obsessed with him and after a few months, he couldn’t handle her anymore. That ended quickly. He hasn’t really had a girlfriend since. He actually never really talked about girls to me.

“Are you ready?” I asked him.

“For?”

“The end? We aren’t going to the same school anymore.” I said to him. Graduation means everyone going in different directions.

“Are you worried?”

“Are you not?”

“I’m not,” he smiled at me, yet again.