‘Are you going to the café?’ Hyejin asks as she wears her pretty maroon heels that complements her elegant little y black dress. I made a good purchase for her college gift. I didn’t answer cause I didn’t have an answer. My distraction was to admire a lady’s body. This morning may be fine after all. ‘I can smell all the smoke’ she comments as she does the last minute check on her outfit.  ‘But I am going to let it slide.’ She speaks as if she owns the apartment. ‘What a gracious lady, I admire. I will shower should I head out.’ I answer as if it was my college fees being paid for by another.

Hyejin’s gaze lingers a millisecond longer. ‘Should I be worried?’ she turns to ask while her right-hand clutches the door’s handle of the apartment. ‘Should I?’ I enquired back.  She rolls her eyes. ‘Dear Ms Moon, when have I ever let you down?’ I grinned at her. ‘My grades are as shiny as the top of the prof’s head.’ The mockery of the poor man’s balding head will never rest. Someone bless him and his lack of air.

‘Go conquer her.’ She called out as the last doors close. Conquer her? It must be the 7^th smoke; all my head could infer was how barren my land is.  How dry my throat feels. How disinterested I am to lay my eyes on her. The emotions she evoked from me, simply exhausting. Being intrigued and curious, yet at the same time, being annoyed and frustrated at her unpredictability. I can’t and would not settle. The rash behaviour, those bloody impulse, the random spike in my feelings, the damn woman.

May I should go conquer her. What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger right? Right? Nothing has been right since she took the right turn.  Conquer her. Conquer her to get over her. Conquer her to flip the bird at him. Conquer her and maybe conquer me. Thus, I showered. In my attempt to board the train of recklessness, the cool water extinguishes the flames of rash actions.

Instead, I stood still. Letting the indifference of each droplet slid down my stoic body. No longer was there a heat of fury towards seeing her. It was now replaced by the subtle annoyance. Something like she being around was part of that single note I hear consistently. Her taunt, or warning, about my cigarettes, made it seem like she saw through me.  What is one bad puff? What is one bad habit? Why is life such a damn sea filled with ripple effects? Frustrated, I got out of the shower. The water no longer served the cooling sensations.

In 20 minutes, I was at my table.  I watched then observed the paying customers. If we all had problems that we need to conquer if, by living, we all had to be at war with something or someone, then why live? Letting my eyes scan this small sample space for an answer, the specimens enjoyed whatever little comforts this confinement brought to them.

Suddenly, a hard hit landed on my head. In an instant, my hand raised. Before it could land and smashed the idiot, my mind registers ajusshi’s face.  Nonchalantly, he places my clenched fist by my side.  He then took a seat opposite me. Irritated but unwilling to it him, I took a sip of the long black Wheein had prepared.

‘And that is why your stomach is ’ he states. ‘The stomach will make me later.’ I countered. ‘So Yongsun told me you ran out on her yesterday.’ Ajusshi never knew how to subtle digging. I didn’t want to answer. So I took another sip of the coffee. ‘If you keep running, then soon no one will be left talking to you.’ He warns and takes my cup nearer to his side of the table. ‘I talk to people. I just choose to not hold meaningless conversations.’ I said.

He sighed. ‘There is a difference between choosing to be silent on matters and to avoid all that is uncomfortable in a verbal conversation.’ I remained quiet. I never liked to admit verbally when Ajusshi strikes a raw nerve. ‘She is a kindergarten teacher. I am sure she would see the pure and innocent side of your stubbornness and brat-like behaviour.’ At that, I rolled my eyes. Ajusshi grins in response.

‘She looks like her.’ I mumbled. Ajusshi ears perk up despite his best to not show signs of extra attentiveness. ‘I would rather say she looks like Soon Hye’ he says Ajumma’s name with such tenderness. If they all look alike, why can’t they all be blessed with having an Ajusshi by their side? Are we that overpopulated that someone had to pick the short end of the stick? If so, then what did Ms Kim draw? Abruptly, he stands and heads back to the kitchen. Leaving me to wonder if all these coincidences are merely that?

The third lady who has such similar features to my mother has to be the third one that I am forced to open up too. Kim Yong Sun…will you be the one to conquer or be conquered by?